So i’m all but normal except for the small fact that I have hobbies like gaming, reading manga/anime and browsing web novels on this site. It’s something that none of my other ‘girl’ friends do per say but just excluding this one tiny tiny factor, I’m completely your average female specimen. But imo, all the guys which I’ve met (not friends, just—MET) who have the same hobbies like to blow this fact way out of proportion. Like ‘she likes gaming?!’ Bruhhhhh. And by this point I’ve honestly completely hidden this part of me to the real world and i’ll tell you why. Back when I was in high school, most of my encounters with these typically nerdy guys went something along the lines of this; - they’d ask to play a game together and when I say yes they tend to delude themselves to thinking that somewhere along the way I also agreed to date them. Hell motherfucking no. And there’s so many things wrong with doing something like that which I won’t mention but for me, as the person being on the receiving end of that treatment it felt like shit. At the very least grow a pair and ask me out. Anyways, ladies of NU, any similar experiences?? For the men, feel free to comment, discuss, etc.
Well I have never really encounter a guy how has acted like that when they get too know about me gaming, but then I have always been a bit of a shy tomboy.
Uhhhh idk, j tend to ignore the better half of our species and try to focus on bettering myself. Met some girls that were into stuff I like, but I just tend to want to either play along with then or exchange novels and anime we've watch.
I mean, as a guy, I've seen girls that are open with this stuff basically make a reverse harem with nerdy desperate guys. It could also be that because you have so much in common with these guys and they don't have a lot of experience with females it's easier to get comfortable around you. Which is why they act that way. Lady, it's a two way street. You can't just expect people to act the way you want.
Woman being woman. You are going into a male space. Why are you pretending be innocent? A fucking guy that rarelly has any contact with women and arrive a woman saying that play games, the thing that he love. It's a instant "hey, this woman is for me". Edit: Do you see a prey going in predator area and saying "hey, just leave me alone, I'm eating my plants, I just want have fun.... " "The predator ask to run together and when I say yes they tend to delude themselves to thinking that somewhere along the way I also agreed to EAT ME. Hell motherfucking no."
I am super fcking unsociable, so no such stories from me really. My sister on the other hand...(she's the pretty one). Back in the early 00s, anime and manga was unheard of in my country. It was pretty niche. Only nerdy guys seemed to know what it was. My sister and I, and a few friends we made along the way, watched Sailormoon and DBZ on a German channel, and later Slayers and DBZ on a Polish channel, which kinda made us pick up a few words, lmao. So anyway, since the internet was in its early stages and we didn't even have a computer at home, let alone internet, we had to go to internet clubs, where mostly guys went to play games. Yeah, I got hit on a few times by some younger dudes (think 12-13, lol, I was like 15-16) only because they heard me mentioning the title of a game. I don't even game, I just know general info, I can't stand the stress of pvp and I get bored too quickly to persist through a whole game. My sister was very active in the forums, where she met a lot more anime fans...mostly guys. So, she'd send them empty CD's, and they'd burn some anime on them. Because they offered. They'd even travel to our city and give them to my sister in person. I don't know what to say. I kinda admire guys for the determination in trying to get a girlfriend. They're so earnest and I feel bad for them. My sister was pretty oblivious and treated them like common fans and part of a community. She never considered them as bf material cause she wasn't even looking at that stage in her life. But some of them would get so pissed off when she turned them down. They seemed to think that the CD transaction was a sort of girlfriend contract? Not really sure. It's like my sis showed them attention and they were overwhelmed to talk to a girl and jumped to conclusions. I don't think that badly of them, they were young (below 20). Fun fact, there was some hentai on those CD's. I still watched it cause it was anime and I ignored all the sex and looked for the plot. The plots were mostly depressing tho. Classy dudes. I can't believe they burned hentai to give to girls, lmao.
Yeah, fuck those guys for having the smallest, slimmest of hopes. No, but seriously, people can have certain expectations of you, even if you're just being nice. People like to believe what they want to believe instead of the truth. On one hand you can't blame them, and on another you kind of have to. Ah, sweet bitter sweet youth.
Although the way guys react to girl gamers is totally like that, and they totally have the objective you mentioned in mind...I'll remind you that guys also do that for EVERYTHING ELSE girls do. Music, anime, shopping, sports, pets, et-cetera, believe it or not they try to share an interest with a girl in hopes of becoming friends and eventually dating because they think it has a higher chance of success rather then simply asking them out. Guys also find girls more attractive if they share similar hobbies because of obvious reasons. As for your "grow a pair and ask me out", it has nothing to do with growing a pair. Sure, shyness and being rejected sucks. Nobody likes it, hence they would rather attempt something to improve the odds of success (trying to be friends and get to know the person first) or talk themselves out of asking you out. I could go on a long tangent on a variety things about the dating culture, but essentially, if some random guy asks you out, would you say yes? For starters, are you even single, looking for a relationship, or straight? Are you open to dating someone nerdy, or do you have a certain preference for a type of physical appearance, personality, or occupation? More importantly, who in their right mind would say yes to date a total stranger except for a psycopath/potential organ harvester? That's why they try to share common interests and scope out your intentions/status first, because rejection sucks and having to ask a person out sucks. It's like applying for a job, except the job doesn't announce whether it is hiring or not, doesn't say what requirements it has, and you don't know what salary or benefits it gives. Ultimately a guy has to show up looking his best, and if the interviewer doesn't like his looks, personality, or social status they reject him, assuming he gets an interview at all. That's why dating apps are so popular these days, because the people on them "should" at least be looking for a relationship, but hey, this is high school we're talking about. It'd be weird for high schoolers to be on tinder.
Do you know what you should make? JUST GET A BUCH GIRLS AND MAKE A GROUP TO PLAY TOGETHER, STAY WAY OF MALE GROUP, YOU RACE KILL ALL THE SENSE OF COMRADESHIP OF THE GROUP AND KILL ALL THE GROUP, BECAUSE YOU WILL ACT FOR GET ATTENTION AND THE MOTHERFUCKERS WILL GIVE YOU THE ATTENTION! I FUCKING HATE THIS SHIT! Edit: ""GIRLS PLAY GAMES ALL WELL". SO FUCKING CREATE HIS OWN GROUP AND PLAY, FUCKING BITCH!
Wow This thread got heated ... What would you guys do if you met someone who's also interested in LN ? ( I know it's not necessarily related, but idk how I would manage to approach someone who also liked it, without being weird xD)
It’s not even about getting them to act the way I want. It’s just thinking your decisions through and having some courtesy towards the other person. Like you don’t think I’m gonna be confused and freaked out?? And moreover, everything resolved itself fine (enough) since I was single and not seeing anyone at the time but what if I was? What if I was in a relationship when this happened?? That’s scary as shit. And especially in high school? What could I say to justify myself and make everyone believe that I’m not a hoe?? I really think about that a lot tbh
Yeah, Ai-chan knows the feeling. Why does gaming together have to carry along additional bonds? We're just gaming buddies. Me going to your home to play Xbox because Ai-chan doesn't have Xbox and @Tony wouldn't give Ai-chan any, does not mean Ai-chan is in love with you. It is NOT okay to touch and feel me up so freely as if Ai-chan is your girlfriend. Similarly, agreeing to play Terminator game at the games arcade together doesn't also constitute the agreement to go have lunch together. And then acting all hurt like Ai-chan just murdered their puppies, all of the puppies, is not a nice feeling. Ai-chan doesn't go to the shopping mall for getting moody, it's for retail therapy. Game arcades and bowling alleys are part of the retail therapy, that's why there's one of either in every shopping malls here. That being said, while Ai-chan can be considered as 'gamer girl', Ai-chan isn't professional. Ai-chan is very casual about games and won't play many types of games.
I admit it’s immaturity and I can’t speak for any other female’s similar experience to this but the reason why this topic TRIGGERS me—like actually, is since I was forcibly kissed. Without warning, without anything. That’s no longer a case of ‘hey go easy on the guy who likes you’ but ‘he sexually harassed you’. And no means no. That’s IT. Like yeah. I’ll admit I wouldn’t have said yes if he asked me straight for various reasons. But just because you fear the rejection, you sneak up on me and do something like that? And I’m supposed to believe you liked me, cared about me and MY FEELINGS (cause lol got em despite common misconception). Whatever. At least it didn’t turn out being a full blown case and I can just think back on it with annoyance from time to time
I can’t believe I’m comparable to the level of food. Thank you for that input. But me being salty aside, why can’t I talk about this when it’s not just me going through this? And even if it was just ME. Me myself and I, why are YOU so upset? I don’t understand. Do I know you? And what is a ‘male space’?? What does that even mean?? Are we extinct or sum? Basically you’re proposing that I should just not have male friends from now on, stop getting to know or talk to half the human population because I’m looking to get eaten. And also when I wear a short dress to the club I guess I’m also looking to get ‘eaten’. It’s good to know that people like you exist in this world. I’ll make sure to go home next time and say thank you to my dad, my brother and all my male friends because at least they aren’t like you
Judging by the surprise kiss, this should be a pretty young age because anything even high-school grade would be inappropriate. They should be aware of established decorum by then. If this is a high school student kissing you by surprise as a way to ask you out, then that shouldn't be used as an indication of all men, rather he's just an idiot. Has nothing to do with fear or rejection, he's just ignorant to how interactions between people work. Now, there are exceptions to this...say you two hung out a lot and were more familiar with each other. He may think that you are close enough to spring this up as a surprise, in which case it is probably more of misreading cues or thinking that you liked him back. But you're mistaken if you think he cared about you and your feelings, to a certain degree. Remember that depending on who this person is, he is either a stranger or a friend. In the case of a stranger, he doesn't really care about your personal thoughts and feelings aside from if you like him. At this point, you two are strangers, so his only thought/objective is confirming whether you like him and how it fits his agenda. It's just like how you don't really care about him, or his feelings. It's not that he's in a relationship with you already, rather he is trying to establish one, therefore his thoughts towards you won't be so caring. This goes for friends as well, while they are more inclined to think on your behalf, they are still trying to upgrade or establish a relationship hence they are more likely to skew how they believe you are feeling/thinking leading to misunderstandings. You need to understand that people in the world, whether they are asking you out or not, do not truly care about how you feel. Liking someone doesn't mean that they suddenly become empathetic to your thoughts and emotions, rather that is what love is supposed to be. The reason why relationships start with dating is to GET TO KNOW the other person, to develop the bond and empathy, and to understand each other. Only then will two people truly begin to think and consider the other person's feelings, but this is something that requires time, effort, and mutual understanding. If you two haven't established this kind of long-term relationship, then how can you expect them to actually care about you and your feelings? The development of this understanding, care, and empathy is something they are trying to establish through a relationship, it doesn't begin before the relationship. In fact, if it fails to develop during a relationship it often leads to a breakup.
"have some balls and ask me out" yet, you want them to be courteous to you? Smh. If someone is forcing something on you that's obviously okay to be mad about. But all you were saying is you were annoyed that these guys expected something out of a girl that shared their hobbies and hung out together. Guys are attracted to women, who woulda thunk? If you were in a relationship you shouldn't have been hanging out with a collective group of males (obviously applies vice-versa as well) by yourself in the first place. That's like relationship 101. You could make everyone not think you're a hoe by not acting like one? I mean, people are gonna talk shit regardless but if you ain't a hoe it's pretty easy to not be treated as such. As a guy, I hung out with girls quite a bit and never felt I shouldn't say something. Quite a few times girls would expect shit out of me, like a free ride, pay for their lunch and movie tickets, etc etc even tho we did that stuff as "just friends". Before we met up I would tell them to bring money cuz I wasn't going to pay for them unless they actually had no money. It's not that hard to be upfront and say I'm not interested in you guys like that. I'm not even looking to date, so if you expected it, don't. Like I said, it's a two way street and if these guys didn't interest you all you had to do was say so. The reason I say that is both genders get it into their heads that if it's not explicitly stated, its not a zero% chance.
lol this is giving off such weird vibes, it kinda reminded me of that you sound like you could use a (hash) cookie, life's more fun when you chill~ *gives cookie* xDD lolol that roast :'D
But that’s not a ‘bc your dating’ empathy it’s basic human empathy. Like there should an order to things. When I like someone I ask them out and before that I don’t overbreach the boundaries of friends. And when they say no (I’ve gotten rejected a fuck ton actually) I back up and I move on not bothering with the issue anymore. And it sounds like the justification is because they’re scoping you out. But why can’t you do that with words? why did I have to be forcibly kissed when it could’ve been resolved with words? You’re right about the fact that you never know what a person is looking for in a partner and you might get rejected who knows. But then the solution would be to go out and take as many chances possible hoping that one of them works. Like,,? I don’t understand what you’re trying to get across. Truly.