Hello xD This is a draft for my novel Greed. Its genre is Sci-fi/Fantasy Feedback is much appreciated, this version of the prologue is definitely not final and there are probably alot of grammar mistakes. Spoiler Greed #0 A young man, by the name Jack stood in front of a grand mirror, he was inspecting his reflection and image. He had to look impressive, and indeed he did. The man was clad in a white suit with black outlines. He looked like he would belong in the military with his perfectly shaven face and the classic army cut. The only thing that pointed out that this wasn’t true, was his subtle muscle mass and the lack of medals on his suit. Jack was satisfied and began walking towards the exit of his luxurious apartment. The view as he stepped out was not what one would expect, instead of other apartments there were cold metallic walls, that suggested, that he was either on ship or a high-tech research center. Jack did like he usually did and followed the corridor until tremors and loud hammering sound filled the air. This however, was the usual and Jack didn’t mind it. As he exited the corridor and magnificent room came into view. Jack stood around 100 meters of the ground, but it was miniscule for the room he arrived in. Jack walked over to his personal elevator, this elevator was made to look entirely out of glass. The only thing that made this elevator function was a few steel wires. A magnificent view came into sight as he stepped into the elevator. This was of his primary research center, the room was made of the same material as the corridor before, but was so big, that he couldn’t see the opposite walls just from the sheer magnitude of the space. When he had entered the glass elevator, it began moving towards the floor of the massive building. The speed downward was slow, but fast enough that he wouldn’t get bored. He stepped out of his personal elevator and in front of him stood all his most trusted personnel. To his right was the craftsmen and on the left the researchers and scientists. He began walking as his team followed. This was his most favorite moment of the day, the reports. These reports were given verbally by his personnel and he would have to make decision based on, of the problem, should they arise. His scientists started. “Lead Scientist Jensen reporting. “All variables for Project: Black Gate has been accounted for and only the last fragments of the Neutron sphere have to be assembled. Launch of Black Gate expected within 20 days.” reported Jensen. After the Lead scientist, had reported the Lead craftsman began speaking; “Lead Craftsman Torbjörn reporting, Graviton modules has been assembled, the required energy surge for the initialization of the Black Gate, has been accounted for.” Jack had been smiling the whole time, and it only grew brighter as the rest of his personnel finished their reports. He was very satisfied that his team could act without his intervention. Just as he was finishing his last round of reports and mist began condensing on the floor in front of him. A silhouette of a masked figure blinked into existence. Jack wasn’t surprised as this masked person was part of his utility task force. The figure was kneeling in front of Jack as he/she began reporting “264 reporting. Sir, the Chrome is nearing our location, 50% of your armada has been annihilated. The Star Fleet managed to push the Chrome back beyond Pluto. However, our data show that they will return… Stronger than ever...” Jack wanted to slap himself from this report. Humanity had been curious when they first began researching the universe. Humanity had sent probes out containing proof of our existence and our legacy. Many of these probes contained cryofrozen cells as proof of our existence and ingenuity. Looking back now, this was a very, very bad idea. A probe one day crashed on a distant asteroid, this asteroid contained an extremely complex sulfur based life form which had managed to develop and survive in space. When the probe crashed into this asteroid the frozen cells had leaked out into these advanced life form. Data shows, that this lifeform had managed to combine its existing cell structure with that of the humans. The result was an abomination of a pseudo alien lifeform which was genetically modified to survive and multiply. This lifeform spread across the milky way galaxy and became known as the unstoppable “Chrome”, the incredibly advanced humanity of the 31’st century was able to push the Chrome back multiple times, but each time it became harder and harder. Humanity had therefore started project: Black Gate. Project: Black Gate was an ingenious way to escape the Chrome. Spearheaded by the Supreme ruler of humanity: Jack Atlas. The plan was as follows: Implode a small sphere of neutrons to create a controlled black hole, which will then be converted to a wormhole to another dimension. However, this was not as easy as it sounded, just creating a pure neutron sphere was nearly impossible. Not mentioning the black hole and the entire assembly process. However, Jack was confident in humanity and now, he was impossibly close to the first major trial. Nevertheless, a major problem had surfaced, if his Starfleet couldn’t outlast these 20 day then humanity would be finished. Jack sighed as he held his hand to his ear and said: “I.R.I.N.A. … assemble the fleet and set the aggressiveness factor to 5%, raise all defensive parameters to 100%, unlock all super weapons Code: 26zh5g7.... Give direct command to Starfleet Commander Benson” A metallic voice of a teenage girl replied in his head “Understood, your majesty. Aggressiveness set to 5%, Defensive parameters raised to max. Code confirmed, authorization for super weapons has been assigned to Starfleet Commander Benson… Commander Benson wished to speak with you, Your Majesty. Do you accept?” I.R.I.N.A. was an advanced AI, Jack and his team had developed to control the vast human empire, this AI was under strict control from Jack and was severely limited in actions, it had a free will, but couldn’t act on it. “Yes, link with Benson” replied Jack with a slight grunt, he hated the situation humanity was in and he knew the aftermath of using super weapons. “Your Majesty.” Said a holographic image of Benson as he knelt. The shimmering light particles that showed the commander couldn’t display colors and were entirely monochrome. But it still showed the commander in grayscale. It was clear to see that the commander was a high ranking military personnel. His suit was the same colors as Jack, but was far larger, as to match his humongous size. He had sharp eyes, like that of a predator's and his muscles looked like they could withstand gunfire. In fact, he was the ideal guardian, and his role was as such. Commander Benson was the commander of the Star Fleet and the leading icon that represented the protecting military. Jack might be the leader of humanity, but the researchers and scientists just treated him like a leader and not a king. However, the military was different; they valued him like a true king and had to act as such. He didn’t hate being a king as he knew it was necessary, but he couldn’t stand seeing his good friend Benson - kneeling. “Rise” said Jack in a voice that would suggest, that he didn’t have a care in the world. “Starfleet Commander Benson reporting for duty… I ask for permission to speak freely.” asked the commander as he rose from kneeling position. “Permission granted... as always.” replied Jack, he knew that Benson was only putting up this facade because other people were present. “First, can we speak in privacy sir?” continued Benson. “Of course,… I.R.I.N.A. some privacy, please.” asked Jack. A bunch of light particles began gathering around Jack and the hologram of Benson. In the end, it formed a see-through cube, this cube would absorb light, so that it was only see-through from the inside. The hammering sounds also stopped the moment the light cube was finished. Benson made a large exhale as he began to speak like he normally would; “It is good to see you again my friend, how is the progress. Can we make it?” Jack replied with a bit of disgust in his voice; “Those damned creatures don’t make it easy for us, Project: Black Gate should be ready before the arrival of the Chrome. But it will be close, very… close. How much longer can the Fleet hold?” Benson replied as he wore a slight smile; “That is such a relief, I hope the right candidates has been selected.” “Yes. Prime candidates have been selected and are ready.” said Jack as he wore somber expression, he knew the reason for Benson’s smile, he had chosen to be the martyr of humanity. The Star Fleet was made up of many starships and defensive and offensive constructs. however, these machines were controlled and maintained by robots. There were only a handful of humans aboard each ship and construct, this was not to limit the human loss, no. This was because humans are inefficient in space and robots are tireless and work much faster and harder. Only a few central control positions as well as medics were left to humans. Starfleet Commander Benson would go down with his ‘ship’ as a leader should and he would undoubtedly die in the upcoming battle. Jack tried to rebuke his friend’s plan to make him reconsider; “Won’t you reconsider my friend… won’t you come with me instead?” “No! This is something I must do. This is my destiny as well as my legacy!” replied Benson with a stubborn expression. Jack let out a slight sigh as he thought of the legacy he would have to carry, moving forward. He of course had a plan to save his friend, but it was a plan carrying high risks and many uncertainties. Just before Jack was about to say something to Benson, the hologram began to tremble and disconnect. The voice from I.R.I.N.A. began speaking in his head as the hologram faded; “The Star Fleet is under attack by the Chrome. It seems that it is only a small expedition, but it has hit the main command center! … Damage to fleet 53% Barrier 98%.” Jack knew that his friend would be busy, so he only let out a faint voice; “Farewell, my friend.” His eyes began to redden and grow moist. His once Majestic image now seemed lonely and small. But, he had to carry himself. He was after all the leader of humanity and the only hope, humanity had for survival. “I.R.I.N.A. Deactivate privacy cube…” said Jack, as the light cube began to fade. As it faded into nothing, the tremors in the air began again and the hammering sounds continued. The scientists and craftsmen had already left and 264 had disappeared. Jack began walking to his own laboratory, he was after all working on many special projects, that would help in both him and his crewmember’s survival. Jack knew that around 99% of humanity would be lost, but he had to carry on and continue the legacy of humanity. His pride and arrogance wouldn’t allow him to let humanity end under his rule. Days quickly went by as Jack was working in his laboratory. In fact, he didn’t get much rest or food during this period. He was after all in a hurry, he still needed to perfect his creations and calibrate the last bits of information for the Black Gate. He didn’t reveal his projects to his subordinates or friends. These creations bordered what one would consider ethically wrong and shameful, especially to high ranking officers and scientists. If it wasn’t to survive he, himself wouldn’t use these products either. What he had created was first a way to safely transport the Prime candidates, who would lead the future of humanity. The second was a transportable multi-factory to create the necessary electronics and components. The third was a cloning chamber, this was for creating human clones and other animals. The fourth was a very special syringe, inside this syringe was a bubbling mass of what looked like mercury, with clusters of black spheres in it. Finally, a downgraded version of the advanced artificial intelligence I.R.I.N.A. this A.I. was called Monday, simply because it was the day when it was created and the day of the departure. He would be the first person to test the Black Gate and he didn’t know where it would lead; the other side of the Galaxy, Universe, multiverse. It was truly unknown; therefore, the risks were great. The reasons for his creations were as such: He needed a realistic way to transport around 2000 cryo-frozen humans without it bothering him. He would probably have to terraform the new location where his journey would lead, as the chances of finding a habitable planet was close to zero! For this he needed a multipurpose factory to help him create advanced machines. The cloning chamber was for selfish reasons and wouldn’t be used to help humanity, it was his greed and arrogance that made him break or border the line of ethics that he made this. The syringe was for his own use and it would help him adapt in the new and possible hostile environment. He had to transport all the information humanity had gathered and what better way to do it than an A.I. with massive storage capabilities. I.R.I.N.A. was simply too large and complex to move and scale down, he needed a smaller A.I. that he could move around and suit to his needs. Monday was created for this purpose. Jack sighed as he was about to fall asleep at his keyboard, he had already stayed up for an entire week and his body couldn’t be fueled by caffeine any longer. He had finished all the needed creations for his departure, and he was now ready to give project: Black Gate his undivided attention. He had spent the last two weeks in the lab and he was ready for the final push to make Project: Black Gate happen. He rose from his chair, pocketed a small cube, and strapped a large sack on his back. His eyes fell on a small syringe filled with a shimmering white fluid, he quickly inserted it into his shoulder blade, after which he exhaled and inhaled a few times. He then took his next creation the strange syringe and slammed it straight into his heart. The pain was much worse than the small syringe and he fell to his knees, while sweating like a waterfall. He gritted his teeth and after a few minutes he rose from his knees. he proceeded to pull out the syringes, surprisingly his heart still functioned and the wounds from the syringes were quickly closed, leaving no scar tissue, however the color of the closed-up wounds had the same color as a white piece of paper. This was because, the tips of these syringes were coated in Healing-gel and the new cells had not absorbed any UV radiation from the sun. This kind of healing gel was nearly impossible to get, but he needed to be in perfect shape for his journey. When he exited his laboratory, there were surprisingly near complete silence in the massive building. The tremors and hammering sound in the air had been replaced by the sound of faint chatter and that of celebration. Jack quickly understood the reason, the construction of the Black Gate had been finished and the chattering sounds were his subordinates discussing the next steps. It was strange, He had just been awake for a week and a few minutes ago, he was dead tired. However, now he was refreshed and moved through the maze of corridors leading to the massive Black Gate. The Black Gate was a massive ring with a diameter of 500 meters. In the center was a building about 5m in both length and width. The ring was made up of a silver like material, with Blue lines rippling across it, it looked like an organic structure as the blue lines formed a vein like pattern as it rippled across the ring. Towards the center of the ring was large blocks of grey metal suspended in the air. It was strange as no wires were connected to these massive blocks of metal suspended in air. Jack took one of the many glass elevators that lead to the building in the middle of the ring. He was about to plot in the last functions to make the Black Gate function, luckily, he had prepared the functions long ago in anticipation of this moment. As he walked out of the elevator and into the large building he was greeted with the presence of all his most trusted personnel, his Lead Scientist Jensen, Lead Craftsman Torbjörn, 264 and a faint hologram of Starfleet Commander Benson. All the supportive personnel filled the rest of the room, only a walkway leading to the absolute dead center of ring structure was free of people. Jack began walking as he moved towards the center, as he walked past his most trusted subordinates and friends he gave them a slight nod. Silence filled the room as the anticipation was high and the expectations even higher. As he neared the center of the ring a small glass like sphere came into view inside this sphere was a small sphere of completely black matter, this black matter seemed to suck all the light out of the room and looked like a hole leading into a frightening abyss. Just outside this sphere were three thrusters that seemed to pump vast amount of energy into the sphere. Constant streams of blue energy filled the glass sphere empowering it. Jack walked as close to the sphere as possible without the gravity being to immense. It was a good thing that he had a railing to hold onto. He took a few seconds just to ponder over a few things. He was both amazed and glad that humanity had come together like this in a moment of desperation, and that the collective intellect of the gathered humans had made this project possible. As well as the people of the past, who made their knowledge available, so that humanity could progress and step into new eras of wonders. As he had finished his daydreamer. Jack began to insert the last bit of codes and programming into the A.I.; I.R.I.N.A. As he did so, the whining of the machinery began. The three massive thrusters outside of the room began to pulse with a combination of red, violet and blue energy. However, the glass sphere began to transform in shape, it grew and compressed along with the pulses of energy. What had seemed like glass could now expand up to 10 times its former size, something clearly not possible for normal glass. However, the black mass inside of it seemed to stay completely the same shape, unfazed and unmoving. The room was now filled with noises like scratching a blackboard. Something of a magnitude that some of the Jack’s employees began to bleed from their ears. strangely Jack and the lead crew were all unfazed by this noise. Sadly, Jack couldn’t have used his noise cancelling cube, as the area was too big, and he could spare a moment of his perception at something that wasn’t the entire hope of humanity. After a period, the glass sphere seemed to buckle under pressure, and was beginning to fracture. However, the group was unfazed, if not happy. This was an intended feature and it meant that their project was successful. One wouldn’t be able to access a wormhole if it was surrounded by an impenetrable shield. Therefore, the glass sphere would shatter at the last stage of the process. Jack sighed in relief as a vast amount of air was rippling towards the now trembling sphere of pure black matter. The glass sphere had shattered and it was now the final procedure. The Black mass was buckling under its own weight and any second now it would become a black hole. This however, wasn’t allowed, a black hole wasn’t useful in their situation, no it would in fact make it much worse. Instead they had to guide the black hole and rip a hole to another location, this would also provide a relief of all the gravitation that is gathered in that small black sphere. “Jack, we are initializing the last phase of Project: Black Gate, prepare yourself.” Said I.R.I.N.A. into his ear, with an unfazed voice. As I.R.I.N.A. finished speaking the silver and blue ring of 500 meter in diameter shrunk to about 200 meters and began rotation at an insane speed. This was to provide rotation and guidance to the now near imploded black matter sphere. In an instant, the world seemed to stand still, everything went quiet and only a pure blackness filled the view of the group. It wasn’t that they were trapped in the grip of the blackness, but that all existence seemed to bend and tremble before something as grand and nothingness like a black hole, or for this matter a wormhole or warp gate. The group seemed to stand in amazement as they stared at the blackness. That seemed to drive the madness into most pure and sane people. It was like the worst of the worst of a children's nightmares displayed for everyone's pleasure. It was so quiet in the room that Jack seemed to think. That he could hear the hairs on his body rise, and the pour of the cold sweat on his back. It was like facing the most relentless and fearsome enemy, he couldn’t bear to take a step forward or a step backwards. He just stood still with terror in his eyes. He had expected that he would feel something when confronted with a black hole, but this seemed to surpass his imagination, by miles upon miles. By sheer will, he managed to turn around, to face his colleagues. With a slight nod, he said goodbye to those he considered friends, he didn’t know if they heard him, but that didn’t matter he had to go now. In their lives, they wouldn’t see him again, although he might or might not see them again. The only one who was supposed to go with him was 264 and the A.I. Monday. 264 had been enhanced to support whatever bizarre scenario they would encounter and Monday didn’t count as it was embedded in his equipment. Jack had managed to create a small box that could carry all the prime candidates and the equipment needed. 264 walked up to him with a slight smile. As they stood together and watched the blackness, they took the first step together, and entered the vast and unending blackness.
err not a huge fan honestly it was moving to quick, you threw in new information over and over again, and well you tried to build the entire world in what seems to be a single chapter which is too much information. I also feel like you are using different writing styles while calling it your own, so when things change in between the random filler text or how a paragraph is different from an earlier one's style just gave me more of a headache then actually wanting to read more.
Thanks for reading it. I wrote this quite a while ago, and just touched some of it up. However, that may be why it is confusing to read. as I might have a different style now =D. I will review it and split it up so it becomes more light =D