A man stops into a biker bar for a drink As he is sitting there staring at his drink a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to him, grabs his drink and gulps it down in one swig. "Well, whatcha gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly and the man burst into tears. "This is the worst day of my life!" he says "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have insurance. I left my wallet in the uber I took home. I found my wife with another man and my dog bit me" "So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; then you show up and drink the whole thing! But enough about me, how's your day going?"
Hunting gone wrong Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. “I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?” The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?” Got it from here: https://www.rd.com/list/funniest-jokes-of-all-time/
not the funniest, but pretty funny and my favourite as of now. How does a nonbinary person kill a samurai? Spoiler: answer they / them Ba dum tssssssssssssss
Some weeks ago there was this Quora post saying "if humans lived on the moon, how would they?" I responded with "six feet under"
You asked for funniest, so I can only say from my prespective of funny. So don't judge my broken sense of humor "What makes me laugh?" "My facial muscles." ...yeah I'm still cracking up, pls down bully me