Oneshot Hanebado! ALTERNATE: Deadly Fan fic- [R15Warning]

POV: Hanesaki Ayano-

My early childhood was bliss, playing badminton with my "Mother" were some of the "fondest" memories I had, yet that all changed one day when I... lost.

After my defeat.. "Mother" left.. she abandoned me.

As the passed with no sight of "Mother", My tears no longer fell yet the crushing pressure inside my chest that built up everyday never disappeared.

That crushing pressure was a mixture of feelings..

Fear. "Where are you!"

Sadness. "Please come back 'Mother'!"

Guilt. "I'll do better next time I promise! I won't lose again!"

But one feeling entrenched itself inside.. It was like a parasite that had taken hold of my entire being..

Hate.. "IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!!!"

It was an all consuming feeling and I indulged it...

I followed that little whore Kauruko on her way home once and down one of the vacant alleys, I confronted her.

The moment she saw me, that confident little smirk rose on her face.

"Oh? Why isn't it the little loser. What? Haven't had enough since the last time I beat you into the dirt? You need a cloth for your tears?"

What she said and their tone were like vicious snakes drilling into my ears.

They made my blood boil to the point where it happened..

Thoughts in my mind continually repeated.

"It's all her fault.."

"It's all her fault.."

"IT'S ALL HER FAULT!!!"

I snapped. Taking a pair of scissors I lunged at that BITCH!

I cut her face up real good as she shouted and cried.

Her screams of fear were satisfying to me.. angelic even. It felt as all the pressure inside me floated away.

By the end, Kauruko was left clutching her bleeding face with whimpering moans coming from her mouth, her back against a nearby wall, her body shivering in fear..

As I revealed in the intoxicating feeling, thoughts of consequenced for my actions finally plagued my mind.

That crushing feeling came back once again, stronger than ever.

It was suffocating..

My eyes once again locked onto the bloody Kauruko. Dark thoughts consumed my mind.

"Just slit her throat.. nobody would ever know.."

"It's the only way.."

"No.. there's another way.."

I walk over to the frightened Kauruko who tries to push herself into the concrete wall behind her, as if hoping she'll go through it.. but it was futile.

I reach out and grip her soft hair which has been stained in blood and pull her face in close, looking deep into her eyes. She mumbles. "I'm sorry" Repeatedly.

Kauruko's face now lookes like a painting, one which has been cut to pieces. It's a gory sight.

As i stare deep into her tear stricken eyes, a see a reflection of myself.

My face which I had seen in the mirror many times now looked foreign. A terrifying grin plastered my face, little droplets of blood painted my skin like little freckles and my eyes..

How are those my eyes!?

They're empty, with no light in them at all. They're like two black holes, with no feeling and just an insatiable hunger to devour.

Shaking away the troublesome thoughts in my mind, I focus on Kauruko and whisper-

"Kauruko.. listen to what I'm about to say.."

"What happened here, you will keep a secret.."

"If you don't, I'll sneek into your home.."

"And I'll slaughter your family.."

"I'll cut their faces off and wear them while I feed you their intestines...You'll never be safe."

The moment Kauruko heard my words, her eyes shrunk in fear and she let out a scream before fainting.

Satisfied, I straighten my crumpled uniform and walk home.

That day I changed. I became.. something inhuman.

Many years passed after that. Nobody ever found out the culprit of Kauruko's assault.

I found out through a newspaper that she never spoke a word again and that due to trauma, she ended up in a mental hospital.

That hate deep inside my heart festered and grew until my heart became black.

I made friends just to keep appearances, to not be thought of as odd or weird. They were tools, nothing more.

Others wouldn't notice, but I now had two faces..

One of an innocent, yet timid highschool girl who wants to get better at badminton.

And another. If I had to descibe my other face, it would be a void filled with pus. I am nothing. I'm nobody. I'm an abandoned piece of waste. I'm.. worthless.

All these self degrading feelings filled me while hate fueled my will to live on.

Time passed until one eventful day where I met my. "Adopted" Sister, a found out what my "Mother" had been up to.

As connie told me about how my "Mother" had adopted her.. and showered her full of love while teaching her badminton, something inside of me shattered.

I know what it was..

It was the last feelings I had for my "Mother"

As I listened to connie drone on, all I wanted to do was rip her face off and throw her into a pen full of horny pigs ready to rip her holes until she split into two..

The feelings inside me were in turmoil while I kept up the facade of a vacant smile.

After connie left and I got home, I smashed everything in my room while screaming at the top of my lungs.

While cradling my head and sitting down on the messy floor, I thought of various ways to get back at the parasite connie and that traitor "Mother" of mine.

Eventually I thought up the simple solution of using badminton to crush that bitch connie and then I'll gloat in the face of the traitorous whore of a "Mother".

But things seldom turn out the way we planned.

Over a year later I find out from connie that "Mother" is dying and that she has cancer and wants to see me..

The moment the call ended, I dropped the phone. The sound of it breaking on the wooden floor did not register in my mind.

I don't know what I felt at that time but I hated it even more.

A day later and I would finally see this. "Mother" of mine who abandoned me so long ago.

I walk through the hospital corridoors and reach the destined door. I hear a faint crying from beyond it as I grip the door handle and twist-

POV: Hanesuki Uchika-

Due to foolish reasons and my hubris, the theory of "Geniuses can be created". I left my daughter. I thought it wasn't good that she become dependant on me. I wanted her to become stronger, to become better..

I would never confirm it or mention it out loud but.. I also left because.. I was disappointed. I was disappointed that my daughter lost. That her perfect streak ws tarnished.

I wanted to get away and think for a while.

But.. a while become a week, a while become a month, a while become years...

As the years passed, my guilt grew. My self hate grew.

So I adopted a child.

To fill in the gaps of my heart. To rememdy the mistakes I had long realised.

Connie. My adorable daughter. I showered her with all the love I failed to give my own flesh and blood child ayano..

I taught her badminton to the best of my abilities and even when she failed, I was always there to pick her back up. I would no longer abandon. I would no longer leave.

Life was blissful to me. That is until i came back to japan.

The moment I stepped back onto her shores, an all-engiulfing feeling of guilt and shame consumed me.

"My blood daughter is here, on this land.. the one I have abandoned."

I was too ashamed to meet her, to talk to her. I sent her letters with hope in my heart.. but I never got any responses.

When I talked to my husband, I inquired about those letters and I found out that Ayano.. burned them.

My heart dropped the moment I heard that. The guilty consoling of my husband was drowned out by my increased heartbeat.

Hanging up, I sat on a nearby sofa in a daze.

Guilt, shame and self hate. These feelings were like wriggling worms in my body.

But there was also something else. An even more disgusting feeling.

Anger. I was generally angry at ayano!

I knew I shouldn't be feeling such a horrible thing but there it was.

"I reached out to you and this is how you treat me? That's how you treat the mother that birthed you into this world!"

It was an endless cycle of anger and guilt and shame until I finally broke out into tears.

Connie heard me and came into the room. She held me tightly saying it would be alright. As I laid in her embrace a deep remorse flooded my heart.

Remorse for ayano. She didn't have me there to hold her, to encourage her.. to pick her back up after she fell.

As soon as these thoughts entered my mind, the anger faded away. I knew what I had to do.

I had to make it up to ayano somehow, no matter how long it took.

But things seldom turn out how you plan.

Later I would find out that I have terminal cancer, my days in the world are numbered.

As I lay in the hospital bed, my only hope now is that I can make it up to ayano. I hope that in my final days, connie and ayano can become closer.

That the differences between the two will shorten and that they could become real sisters.

While connie is sobbing while clutching my hand, I hear the doornob turn.

My heart tightens as the door slowly opens. I see ayano, she looks so different.

The cute little girl I knew has now grown up. But she looks a little thin, her skin pallad.

Has she been eating properly? Has she been getting her checkups? Thoughts of worry fill my mind as I look cencernedly at ayano.

Ayano walks into the room with steady steps, as she gets closer, the aura around her grows colder.

Connie has stopped her crying and is staring at ayano with wet eyes.

Her vibrant eyes become dull and her cheery expression disappears with her lips in a thin line, showing no visible emotion.

Seeing her change, I sigh to myself.

I should have expected this.

I know I'm a horrible mother but I bite my pale lips and a feeling of detirmination washes over me.

I'm gonna make it up to her if it's the last thing I do.

Before I could even open my mouth to apologize, I was stopped by Ayano's cold glare.

"Heh.. so it took you dying to finally see this daughter you abandoned?" Ayano sneers.

Though my lips were dry, the words managed to squeeze from my lips. "I.. I'm so-" But they were once again interrupted.

"Shut it! Save it for someone who gives a shit." Ayano spat.

"You!! This is your mother! Don't you have a heart!? She's dying right now, the least you could do is listen!" Connie yelled with tears in her eyes.

I hold connie tightly as I say weakly. "It's alright connie, let her speak. She has a right to.. especially with how I treated her."

Connie quieted down but she still gave ayano a glare. I sigh inwardly as I think. "I'll need to find out how to mend the relationship between these two."

Ayano snorts and her cold eyes turn to me once again. "Listen uchika.. "

When I heard her say my name instead of "mother" My chest tightened. It felt stiffling, tears began to well up into my eyes.

"I hate you with every fiber of my being. I hate you more than anything else in the world."

The way ayano said that to me made my heart burn and my chest heavy. I could hear it in her voice. She was dead serious. The look in her eyes stared at me like I was some foreign insect.

Tears began to uncontrollable flow down my cheeks.

Connie was to shocked at what she was hearing, her mouth opening and closing with no words coming out.

Ayano continued with a dead serious expression, her black eyes showing no light at all. "You abandoned me, you left me with nothing, nobody. You were my pillar of support, the one who gave me love, the one who showed me what love is.."

I began to heave as Ayano laid my sins bear, the sins of a failure of a mother.

"After you left my heart became dead. I could no longer feel love, I could no longer comprehend freindship or companionship. Hate was all I had left."

"And when I found out that you had raised a daughter in my place, that you had given her all your love, support and attention.." As Ayano spoke on, more of her facade began to crack.

She was now speaking through clenched teeth, so hard that she was clenching that her gums had began to bleed.

Her expression had become fierce like a demon and her eyes had become an endless abyss that swallowed all light.

Connie now had a frightened expression as she clutched my hospital gown. Though I had a different feeling, I felt despair.

Ayano took a pair of pliers from her skirt pocket and with a look of madness in her eyes she said. "I no longer see you as a mother, I only see you as a hole I came out of."

"I still owe you for bringing me into this world and I hate that so much. I don't want to owe someone I hate and detest so much!" Ayano screamed.

"Wh-what are you doing!" Connie shouted fearfully.

Ayano merely smiled a horrific bloody smile that would be etched into my mind forever. She too the pliars and brought them to her left hand.

"I'll give you my fingers so I don't owe you anymore.. k?" Ayano tilted her head, still sporting her terrifying smile.

"NO! STOP!" I screamed in despair with tears in my eyes. I watched as ayano simple chuckled before cutting off her left hand's pinky.

I was too weak to leave the bed, to shake connie off.. I was too late.

Connie screamed as she covered her eyes though I couldn't take mine off ayano. My mind was in turmoil, my heart was in pieces.

Ayano didn't seem to notice any pain when she cut her pinky off, as blood splurted from the wound, she cut off another finger and then another.

Her expression never changing, only her skin becoming paler from blood loss. Finally she had cut off her last finger, her thumb.

The moment it flew off, an expression of ease washed of Ayano's face as if a heavy burden had been lifted from her shoulders.

"Now I don't owe you anything.. " Ayano said cheerfully.

Tears no longer came out from my eyes as I simply didn't have any left. I felt empty, I felt guilty. "Is this my fault?"

Ayano slowly walked up to me with her smile plastered on her face. She bent down near my ear and whispered something which shattered my heart.

"Do you remember Kauruko? Hehe.. I was the one who cut her up. I mean, she was the one who defeated me, the one who caused you to go away.. It's only the right thing to do. I thought that if I did that, that you would come back.. but you never did. Remember, I am what you made me... "

Ayano giggled as she turned around. Before she left, she seemed to think of something. She looked at connie who was shaking fearfully.

"Connie, my dearest sister.. if you don't let me win in the badminton tournament... I 'll kill myself. You wouldn't want to make your mother sad would you? So lose." Ayano chuckled heartlessly before walking out the hospital room.

A few screams and shouts were heard before ayano was seen being hurried away by panicking nurses.

POV: Connie Christensen-

Mama was never the same after that day. Her eyes became vacant and she rarely spoke. Itt felt as if all the life, vibrancy and hope.. had disappeared from her.

She always had her eyes on the hospital door as if waiting for someone that would never come.

She lost weight tremendously and became sicker far faster than the doctors had thought.

These events angered me so greatly that I declared that I would defeat ayano in the tournament without caring if she lived or died but that caused a change in mama.

She held my shirt tightly with her weak hands and begged me. She begged with snot leaking from her nose and tears dripping from her eyes.

"Please connie don't I beg you! Please! Please.. "

The way mama looked at me.. I cried in her arms saying. "Okay mama, okay mama, connie is good, connie will listen."

The next morning when I woke up, mama seemed to have regressed. She became childlike, her mind in a constant wander.

She called out for her mother, she wanted candy, she wanted her favorite teddy bear..

It would only be a week later when she finally succumbed to the cancer, far faster than the proffessionals had thought.

The tournament is only around the corner now and I.. I feel broken inside..


AUTHOR NOTE: I haven't watched the anime or fully read the manga, I only heard a basic summery and skimmed a few pages. What really grinded my gears is when I read about the mother. In the manga, the author seems to brush off the years of abandonment when the mother gets the cancer.

When she got the fatal condition, the author seemed to think it gave her a free pass.[That at least what i got from the story parts I skimmed] That it was now all roses and unicorns, that everybody is now a big family, all is forgotten and forgiven..

FUCK THAT! I've seen this shit too many times.

All this accumilated into a story which was written in a about four hours.

Anyway, it's been cathartic writing this and I hope you enjoyed it >