Haunted by dakimakura... HELP!

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Space Bot, Jan 17, 2018.

  1. Space Bot

    Space Bot Well-Known Member

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    At the college I attend I keep thinking I’ve seen a dakimakura under peoples desks, especially in the computer lab. When I get up to look there’s never actually anything there though.
    Am I being haunted or am I just sleep deprived? Any suggestions for how to handle this would be appreciated. Thank you in advance!
     
  2. TamaSaga

    TamaSaga Well-Known Member

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    If you receive a phone call and the only response is someone breathing from the other end, then don't turn around when a hand lands on your shoulder.

    Double down if the thing that lands on your shoulder is cottony and soft.
     
  3. SilverFeather

    SilverFeather [Seeker of Yuri]•[Likes tomboys]

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    Shouldn't he worry for the dakimakura touching his shoulder rather than a hand?
     
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  4. Space Bot

    Space Bot Well-Known Member

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    But dakimakuras don’t have limbs. Or do they! Oh no, I may have just stumbled upon a centuries old conspiracy! I have to hurry before they find out I know too!
     
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  5. elengee

    elengee Daoist Ninefaps

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    Just get a dakimakura, name it sanity so you can hold onto yours. :blobshh:
     
  6. Juno

    Juno Well-Known Member

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    Stay with your friends and give it a new target or call a priest in
     
  7. Space Bot

    Space Bot Well-Known Member

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    I called a priest already he asked me what a dakimakura was and when I told him he swore at me then hung up.
     
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  8. Hotato

    Hotato Eternally Confused

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    When in Rome, do as Roman do :blobok:
    Accept the dakimakura, accept that you need it for your wonderful sleep!
     
  9. TamaSaga

    TamaSaga Well-Known Member

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    Pretty certain that if it were the dakimakura, it would suddenly descend from above and envelope his head while he's still listening to the phone. Chance of escape from suffocation is unknown...
     
  10. Space Bot

    Space Bot Well-Known Member

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    My sanity’s long gone already and my wallet is far too light to buy one.
     
  11. Space Bot

    Space Bot Well-Known Member

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    I’ve been keeping fabric sheers on me for the inevitable assault, so I’m prepared physically. I just don’t know if I have the heart to kill something so pure.
     
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  12. Wick

    Wick Black van owner

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    *Sneers* so it's all about wallets, that make you insane and hallucinations.
     
  13. Neiri

    Neiri Well-Known Member

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    Wait, he did not confessions are on saturday? Cause just owning that is "sinful"

    Perhaps it's hunger. He can't afford food so hunger make him hallucinate.
     
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  14. Scholar Occult Cauldron

    Scholar Occult Cauldron Bonk Maestro | Ascended

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    Did you cum in its "hair"? They hate it when people do that.
     
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  15. Mantrazz

    Mantrazz The Lord Upgrade D Biggest Baddest Spammer Around

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    Why buy a marked one and enter the creepy rapey zone forever when you can get an unmarked one and appear eccentric.
    Eccentric is good, trust me
     
  16. Minokyuu

    Minokyuu ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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    Call the weeboo police :X3:
     
  17. Space Bot

    Space Bot Well-Known Member

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    What number do I call I? Google would’t tell me when I asked it.
     
  18. TamaSaga

    TamaSaga Well-Known Member

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    It's perfectly fine as long as Hinata Hakamada is not on the front.

    But if so...take it like a man. You'll be remembered in a bad way socially, but at least it was one of the better ways to die.
     
  19. elengee

    elengee Daoist Ninefaps

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    They're too busy hunting down 'desu~' users.
     
  20. Unsleepyknight

    Unsleepyknight Corrupted

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    Nevermind... it's dakimakura