Help, I'm struggling with conveying emotions

I'm currently writing a story called Eternal I post on Scribblehub (forgive the shameless, sly plug), but even though I have a theme in mind, I'm struggling with conveying the proper emotions.

Luckily my readers aren't complaining, yet, but when I read the story it comes off a little bland. I've been breaking the show don't tell rule unintentionally since, but I don't think that's the only problem.

How do you convey emotions in your work, or if you're a reader what are the things you read that makes you emotional?

 

Is it a xianxia or something similiar? Then it doesn't have emotions.
If you want man's romance, then someone needs to sacrifice themselves to save others. Think Vegeta, Goku, Going Merry, Iron Man...

 

Simple, don't show emotions

 

If you can't convey emotions well, tell it through experiences instead. Add more detail to the experience to compensate for the lack of emotion since it helps visualize how a person would feel even if your not good at conveying it.

 

I think you need to take a step back and go old school. Nowadays people believe that you have to be blatantly told what is going on, but that’s where real talent comes in. Real storytellers are able to imply or suggest something and still come to the same conclusion.
My advice is to write it as you want to write it. If people can’t seem to get it. That’s their hang up. Now I’m not suggesting that you don’t consider the advice from your audience. But stay true to you.
Good luck

 

Write it as how you wanna write it. But if you really wanna edit/get ideas, maybe think about what kind emotions should be fitting for that scene and then describe it from the background to For example, if it’s a funeral, start by describing the background before have the characters talk. This helps imply a kind of gloomy aura for that scene.

Another example from an actual novel: “‘Xiao Lan, tonight will be a long night.’ Bai Mengxiang turned his head away from Xiao Lan, the gentle look on his face disappearing as a cruel expression made its way. Tonight was going to be a long yet joyful night.

Tonight was the night where everything was going to happen.

It was also the night where Bai Mengxiang would complete his mission too.

He just wondered.

How many hearts were going to be broken tonight?”- from Steal the Male Lead
^^^ that is letting the readers feel as if something bad/major is going to happen.

 

I generally agree with other authors in that emotions should be shown and not told; that being said, there are times like distress or epiphany where outright stating the emotion hits harder. When that happens, usually I begin with:
How the character reacts to the situation -> the emotions shown through that feeling (tears, facial changes, grit teeth, etc are all here) -> the words they speak

You could even reverse the order:
Having them speak their mind -> the facial changes that follow their words -> how other characters react to them.

When it comes to description, I find that using one or two adjectives for each "symptom" of their emotion works best. For example, "thick, flowing tears," or "a truly genuine smile."
I don't use it often, but when there's an especially heavy moment I put the emotion first and follow it with a description. It works best to cement the final feeling when other (small) descriptions were told before; you can think of it like the final nail in the coffin.
A small example in describing anger, you can mention popping veins, bloodshot eyes, etc, and to cement what the character feels say, "It was rage, in its most unstable form."

It's worth noting that thinking about reactions people have with different emotions helps; you can't describe joy unless you think of how a joyful person would react. I hope this helps, apologies if anything was confusing.

 

This advice can sound very frustrating.. it's a bit too long and slow to do, but reading more can help improve writing skills. Advices can be hard to follow sometimes, and with reading you can directly see them in context, analyze and note them down for future use. Unfortunately I don't have a book I can recall off the top of my head with good emotional scenes. Though you should be the one to decide if a book you read is good at bringing out the emotions or not, based on your preferences and what you like to read.

 

Character > Action > object/person > result:

John raised his hand and smashed it on the table.

With emotion:

John had a fierce look in his eye as he raised his shaking fist, memories of her death still fresh in his mind, he brought his fist down on the table with all of his might and growled low, "I will avenge you."

 

Look at the chapter. Pick the character you want to have an emotional moment. Understand the character's personality and motivations, then sit back on a chair. Get yourself comfortable, ensure that there is no interruption. Close your eyes.

Then replay the whole chapter in your mind. Insert yourself into the character you want to have emotions. Pretend you're that character. Keep replaying the whole chapter in your mind until replaying the chapter in your mind is no longer taking much effort from you. From there, you will notice tiny details that is wrong or incomplete. As your visualization level increases, you will also learn how the character should feel.

For example, maybe at first you write that the protagonist is being beaten by the villain.

You would go like this at first:
Felmenia suddenly came up to me and threw a punch at my face.

As you replayed the scene the first few times, you feel there's something wrong with the sentence:
All of a sudden, Felmenia walked up to me and without warning, brought me down with a heavy fist.

As you replayed the scene a few more times, you start to empathize with the protagonist and start to feel what she should feel"
All of a sudden, Felmenia walked up to me and without warning, brought me down with a heavy fist. For a moment, I was stunned by her action. What's going on? Why did I suddenly got hit?

As you replayed the scene a few more times, you really start to feel the emotions:
All of a sudden, Felmenia walked up to me and without warning, brought me down with a heavy fist. For a moment, I was stunned by her action. What's going on? Why did I suddenly got hit?

"What the hell, you bitch?!!!" as the shock went away, a surge of emotions washed over me.

"I just hate looking at your ugly face, that's all," Felmenia said as she sneered at me who fell on my ass on the dirt.

I gritted my teeth, my hand clawed at the ground underneath me as my vision went red. With chittering teeth, I tried to hold my anger. My breathing hardened, my heart beat faster. I pressed my hands against the ground, lest I jump up from the ground and gives her a piece of my fist.

I could already imagine myself strangling her to death. My itchy hands felt like they were ready. My mind was already imagining myself pushing her to the ground, my hands around her neck, smashing the back of her head against the hard ground over and over. Over and over. Over and over. Over and over. Die, you fucking bitch!