I am a cold hearted person in "love" feelings so my advice maybe little harsh . Both of you are young so it makes your relationship "shaky" . Boys at his age are very clingy ,possessive. If you tell him that you're feelings aren't equal to his then it will definitely hurt your relationship. Either his ego will get hurt ,he will try to have u reach his level or he will distance himself from you . Well both are bad . So don't directly mention that you don't like his "daily" text. Just Communicate with him that there is nothing much to talk about and if you want to have contact with him daily just use one of methods someone above mentioned. For you my advice is - it's okay if your feelings aren't of his level . You don't owe him to have your feelings reach to his level ..yes communication is important for a relationship but "how you communicate is also very important " ,while addressing his insecurities, you don't need to force yourself to do things that you don't want. "Loving" someone doesn't mean you have to give everything for other person . Always love yourself first otherwise while loving others ,you may realise later those don't love you now . While i read your post at start . At that "drinking" thing ,i was directly gonna say breakup . But on reading below content ,i didn't. That "drinking" shouldn't make you hostage in a relationship to give more concessions. You need to stand up for yourself if you want your relationship to work. A relationship should bring you all those warm feelings if not then address the problem and if there is no solution then it's time to breakup.
I don't think breaking up with someone because you don't want to be with them is selfish (if that's what you're referring to). If you're just in a relationship with someone just because you feel obligated to be with them rather than actually wanting to be with and maintain a relationship with them romantically, you're also being unfair to the other party by giving them false hopes and hurting them more by letting the relationship drag on. If you don't quite love him yet, but you want to learn to love him, it means you want to be with him enough to make an effort to maintain this relationship. But if you don't want to be with him, and you're just afraid of hurting him - and that's the only reason stopping you from ending it, then staying with him any longer would be bad for the both of you. In the end, it comes down to whether you believe you can genuinely fall in love with him despite his faults and whether you're both willing to put in the effort to fix and maintain your relationship or not (you're not the only one responsible for it).
Are you serious lol? Wasting money and time on a counselor for kid's relationship that's not gonna last anyway? I'm not sure if counselor is even good for adult relationships, if you can't talk to each other then wtf are you doing together. They are at the time when they are finding their type, you get bad and good boyfriends and girlfriends. Half the time you're the bad bf/gf, then you reflect and improve, or not. You give the relationship a shot but that's it, things don't have to work out. Counseling...lol
Relationships are so exhausting. I just dated casually for three months once and got sick of everything about it. Not to mention that my feelings didn't move at all. I'm saying all this so you know where the source of this advice comes from - a totally apathetic asexual. The boy sounds insecure. I've heard guys experience love more intensely, especially if it's their first time. Seems like he can sense your lack of intensity. I don't like the fact that he drinks until he blacks out. That could be a source of future problems - alcoholism, drunken cheating, liver damage, change of character... I tend to avoid people who can't moderate their drinking, can't trust them. Not knowing when to stop = lack of self-control = possible addictive personality. Basically, it's a huge red flag to me. But that's just me and my distrustful ass. It's up to you how you take it. However, if you break up with him during the pandemic, he will assume you're cheating, probably. He's already taking the less texting as a sign. Communication is key. You can't be walking on eggshells around him all the time. You'll only get frustrated in the end. Personally, I hate texting, my typing is slow too. I'd rather talk on the phone. Like, "Hey, how are you doing? What did you do today? I miss you." I find it easier to find topics when I talk to the person. And hearing their voice is more intimate. I feel really bad for him. But also, I find him annoying. And I feel even worse, cause he can obviously tell he's clingy and is working against his nature in order to please you. It sounds like a compatibility issue to me. I wonder what attracted him to you and what made you agree to date him if you don't feel all that strongly about him. Feelings can grow over time, so if you can imagine living with him eventually, spend some time talking to him sincerely (well, don't tell him you love him only sometimes) - explain your reasoning, your boundaries, ask him to share his thoughts too. Just speak more to figure out if there's a future in this. Wondering alone won't solve it. Find some compromise. Video call from time to time, text just a good night occasionally, schedule watching the same movie/shows then talk about them. It shouldn't feel like a chore. TLDR; Spend more time communicating, not necessarily texting.
Your bf actually reminds me of a friend of mine. She has MD and didn't have any secure attachment to any of her family so she always gets insecure in the relationship she has now with her bf and always seek constant reassurance or attention from him (not that I'm saying your bf has one too, I'm just explaining haha). Anyway her bf does indulger her and has been understanding most of the time, but sometimes he also gets fed up with her constant messages and tells her so. Which cause drama a bit. Sometimes I talk to her bf and tell him that I understand he was tired, and when he's ready to talk to her again just remember the things he loves about her, that he does love her and that loving her includes sharing all the emotional burden she has and helping her with it. Likewise I also tell my friend that she has to show some restraint too and appreciate even the smallest of reassurance she was given every other hour (because she texts him like every minute). Oh yeah, they are LDR too--- countries apart so it makes my friend all the more anxious anyway, maybe you can all tell your bf the same thing and just be honest with how you feel. You also shouldn't compare how 'ahead' he is with his feelings with you; if he really loves you, then he should be willing to wait for you to fall in love completely with him. You're already there, ready to fall right? He just have to catch you.
da bf need, life consultation~ consider to current pandemic situation any hidden thing which may cause this situation may need to discover~ since you don't wanna say thing about it then so be it~ anyway, on relationship the mind of I don't wanna hurt the other can create serious problem~ sometime be blunt with your feeling is good thing~ yeah bad or good lie on communication~ on this case there grey border of which one called selfish and which one called consideration~ this is about feeling and feeling sometimes is selfish and that normal~ well imo you two should quarrel big one to release da pent up or put on da table what actually on both of your mind and heart~ it may cause break up tho~ you may regret it.... or not at all~ this cat just not like this situation which imo something like hanging feeling around~ something like flirting friend zone lol~ say, ask yourself this question..... why you want be with someone?
I don't understand love but i would like to answer this, so forgive me if i sound too harsh. My first relationship didn't end well and that is the case for..idk 98% of human population? Anyway what i mean is that fist love won't end well unless you and your partner are extremely loyal and trust each other whole heartedly, willing to accept each other weakness and bad habits without any prejudice. Please note that im not jinxing you or anything like that, i just think that you should know the truth bcs i once was like you, i don't want this 'love' u said to become a burden for yourself. From what i see you and your lover, even though can be called adult, is still quite 'young' especially for serious relationship. Why i said this? It's bcs your lover is constantly questioning your love and you yourself is wondering whether you love him or not. Honey, a romantic relationship between two ppl is not always rainbow, sunshine, and having butterflies in your stomach. So if you really serious about this relationship i suggest you to come clean to him, explain everything, in a nice way ofc. If he accept and try to compromise, it means he's serious abt u, but if he get bitchy instead then...just ask yourself again, are u happy with him? do u feel tired? does he deserve your love? If you think you can continue this relationship then just reconcile with him, if not then just leave him. As simple as that. Love is similar to investing stocks, u plan wise then you will get rich in the long term, u gamble and u could fall hard and broke overnight. In the end it's all about compromise, it only works if you can accept him for who he is, adjust yourself with him and vice versa.
Three months...you guys have your whole lives ahead of you. And from what i gather you guys aren’t even living together, even so it isn’t working out. I doubt it would be better if u did, probably even worse. Maybe you guys just don’t match, you don’t have to force it. Deep down you think the same thing, or at least your subconscious does, or else you wouldn’t have asked this question here, hoping for something that isn’t tangible.