I'm at that age where I value my freedom over all else, I.E., I'm selfish and want to spend my time doing what I want, I.E., I'm immature. But I imagine that at around the age of 27/28, I'll be wanting for a "relationship". And that got me thinking the question: how hard is it to date? I imagine it would have to be extremely difficult. People have been telling me to date, and I've protested against it, thinking it would be easy by the time I wanted to do it. I vibed with a fair number of girls back in my highschool days. But then I thought: what if they're telling me to date because it's extremely difficult and you need to put in as much time as you can, as early as you can to do it. Or am thinking that. I mean, I've only ever really, really liked a girl once, and I didn't even know anything about her. So, are there any oldies or more experienced fellas or gals that can tell of their dating woes?
I can tell you as a 26-year-old, that the urge to date does not come with time unless you are approaching your 40s and REALLY want a family before your old age sets in. Whether you will ever want to date is hard coded into your psychology. With a single relationship that lasted 9months, I can tell you my opinion on dating is that it is tedious. You rarely, if ever, get to do what you want, instead you have to consider whether your partner wants to do something. Everything has a price, and you will never have the money for it all. So something will always lack and a cause for complaints either from you or your partner. Getting a date is easy, getting a 2nd is harder. But if you set your standards low enough, it's not impossible or difficult to find someone who will stick with you for a long time. The problem is whether they are the right person to keep around. You don't want a toxic individual that will make your life a living hell; you need someone who will leave you space to grow and develop while staying near enough to join you along the way, bring along their own growth and developments.
Finding the common topic, gauge between talking too little or too much, make yourself into someone you are not while at the same time try to be true, because it is one thing to woo her one time and another to keep her reel in. And yes by @replay
Hmm, I was/am someone who didn't want to consider dating without feelings or at least initial belief it will work out. Now I'm pretty much a forever alone who has no idea how any of that human relationship/mating ritual stuff works. Times have left me behind. I recommend at the very least "aggressively" befriending any girl you feel like you could get along with as early as possible to get xp and levels on it. Doesn't mean you *must* date or anything, unless you feel it could work... but just to get good at socializing so you are good enough to claim your happiness when it really counts.
Depends on how hard you want to make it to yourself and your date. This statement is a double entendre.
Well, honestly it depends on the person you're dating and how well you work with them. Like if y'all get along really well and don't have that many different views and stuff I would imagine it being great. Conversations flow really well and it's a joy to talk to them, it can be really rewarding. On the flip side, if you don't get along as well as you thought you would or did it can get a little disappointing. This usually happens when the two people don't really know each other and decided to try and date cus they found each other cute. Or when they think that person is something they're really not. It can also happen when you find that person more friend material than bf or gf. It's really just about finding the right person and the right time. But take what I say with a grain of salt, I'm probably younger than a lot of the people here and I have like no experience. I'm just basing everything off what my friends say.
It's all about how well you are as a person. When I was a kid, I was thinking on how to pursue a girl was to talk to her. When it is really how I perform in my social click would dictate on how she feels about me. As a grown up, you eventually realize it's about how well you perform in life. Money wise, knowledge, commitments, etc. When you are at this level, you Dont worry about paying for dinner coz you know you'd be paying for your entire family dinner for life. The best way to get a girl? Always improve yourself and do social contacts.
My personality is pretty much the same as yours I enjoy freedom. In dating it takes time, effort, and money. If you value your freedom just get a friend with benefits.
Yes and no. It depend on your compability with your partner. Imo As for Money? Hmm maybe? Me and my girlfriend usually split the cost
But what about love!? I think you answered my question to your answer in your own answer. You say dating is tedious, but that was only one relationship. Maybe they weren't "the one", and you should go out and date a bunch more! Until you find Mr. (or Ms. whatever you're into) right! So basically: don't be annoying, be charming, and improve yourself without changing who you are deep down? Another reason why I don't want a wife and kids, I would need a job to support them. *cough cough* *takes out notepad and pen* So, do you have any notes on how a gent would go about such things? I don't really like the idea of befriending any girl I think I could get along with. It definitely feels like I might be signaling intentions to them that I don't have. I mean, can a man and woman really be friends?
There is three factors to remember when dating How much money you have at a given point and maintaining your finances. Having the capabilities of seeing things from your partners point of view. Availability ratio and how often you can manage to be together. everything else comes naturally. P.S. the hardest step is accepting that you will (most likely) get curbed once or twice so don't fall into the redpill trap.
Imma be honest. Fuck dating, you're just going to boost another person up while also boosting yourself at the same time. The relationships I've been in have rotated around "spending time with some one", "saying the right things", and "getting to know someone on a deeper level". Like bruh that shits hard. I say dumb shit alot because I thihnk I'm kinda funny but some of the dudes didnt think I was. Especially since my kind of humors rather dark. I also don't like wasting my time on a date when I see you everyday at work or school. I've mastered the art of not needing physical or mental satisfaction because we're all quite literally stardust morphed into an amalgam form. i don't need to worry about satisfying another person because I myself am satisfied. I am a being of anotehr level. I am the trash man, baby. But in all seriousness, if you feel like your ready for a relationship then go for it but if your socially inept dont go for it. You'll either crash and burn or experience the greatest feeling of all time; acceptance.
One of the key thing when setting out to get a friend with benefits don’t get emotionally involved (this can be challenging at times) and keep it physical. And be straight with the person let them know exactly what your looking for in that relationship and what your not. Their are girls and guys who are looking for the same thing they don’t want drama and the like they just want a little fun.
Well, yes, you can be just friends and it's way too easy. My best friends are foreign women whom I felt like I'd like to talk with and did (at later age)... not that I'm in touch with them that much anymore. I think it's ok if they get wrong signals, we men get the same wrong signals all the time too... in those cases, if they go too far, just be honest and say how you feel about them... though I'd keep door half-open and be honest about being willing to try with her in case it could work... unless the lady in question is an absolute "nope". You don't have to get physical, imo, even if you date... it's trying to know each other better and commit a little to it. But yeah, I'm an old fashioned forever alone, so grain of salt and all that.
At some point the need will arise, after looking for a job and watching your friendships grow. It's hard some people can decide their freedom above all else, others choose to go out and have dates with many people, others fall in love. So it depends on many things, if you fall in love there is your signal
I forgot! If you have a chance, just go out with women, as long as you don't love someone, it will always be tedious and pain in the butt. But the pain in the butt is better, unlike when you feel more than a necessity, and you have no idea what to do Loving and being loved that is our pinnacle as a species, we are animals, animals what they think of course, but we have instincts and needs, what better than to do it with someone with whom you love and love you, grow together Love, love we all need to be loved