Discussion How to get over regrets of doing bad in a major exam

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by AneeChan, Feb 24, 2022.

  1. AneeChan

    AneeChan Well-Known Member

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    So this is kind of like the secondary high school diploma/College entrance exams in my country. Though I started the exam with hopes of acing it and getting into med school somewhere down the lane I realised medicine is not for me and wanted to drop out of the diploma and get into a private college. However my parents insisted I do this and complete it as an additional qualification of sorts.

    Fast forward and later I sat an exam where I could have legitimately scored an A but will probably end up getting a C because I missed a question worth 20 marks. How do I overcome this regret? The reason why I gave the context earlier was to inform that I wouldn't be retaking the exams no matter the result incase somebody's going to give the classic "Hey perform better in the next exam" because there wouldn't be another exam. Just... how do I accept this and move on? I feel really disheartened.

    Besides I fucked up the essay in my English Literature paper too and this has absolutely destroyed my self confidence as a writer. I feel that I'm incompetent to become an author which is my dream.
     
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  2. PossaSimon

    PossaSimon Well-Known Member

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    try to give yourself a week (two or three days will do) of quality time:
    watch a series, anime, read something you like, watch funny videos, listen to music, go shopping. Try to think about the things you enjoy and don't think about any of that, if you can go on vacation alone to a place or a weekend disconnect from all the bad energies, it is also useful to attend church (at night) to listen the words of a priest or something to begin with.

    the things you look at that are cheerful and motivating
     
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  3. AneeChan

    AneeChan Well-Known Member

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    Thank you, I'm already testing all of this out. Nevertheless thank you❤❤
     
  4. aegis062

    aegis062 Chaotic Demon Emperor

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    I honestly can't tell you I never failed an exam. I am the type to take notes, but don't study till last 2-3 weeks and then crush the exam with my notes.

    the only exam you can't study for is the state test which is required to graduate high school and the one that counts is the 10th grade, but you can retake it 2 more times and I nailed that test on my first try. to get into Uni I also took their test and nailed it too I also took their scholarship test and nailed that too.

    when it comes to test I do well. if there is one thing I can recommend is to not stress over tests and just do them like they are regular school work instead of pressuring yourself you probably end up sabotaging yourself by second guessing your answers.

    The best way to get your mind off of something is having fun go to a party/dancing or watching movies invite friends over, but if you're alone you will continue to replay your failures instead of getting over them.
     
  5. warspite

    warspite Active Member

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    Yesterday, I only scored 8 on my 20 items quiz. I've read and read the modules and did whatever i can but still got a bad af score lol. Was I discouraged or do I feel any regrets? Nope, I was just scared that my professor might call me out but she didn't so it's a relief. Ofc, my short quiz can't be compared to your college exam but the thing is we're only powerful in the present and you've fucked up your exam and essay already. It was done. There's nothing else you can do. This might be the same as doing better next time but really, take control over the situation, and do your fcking best in the present so there'll be no regrets. If you worked hard for it and the results didn't meet your expectations, then don't expect.

    Here's a serenity prayer that I like a lot. I don't know your religion and I'm not a religious person but the message of the prayer's powerful.

    “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

    Here's a passage from a book I'm reading:

    "If we can focus on making clear what parts of our day are within our control and what parts are not, we will not only be happier, we will have a distinct advantage over other people who fail to realize they are fighting an unwinnable battle."

    The essay writing is done. The exam is already done. It's in the past and we have no control over it. Does feeling bad over it will make your previous performance better? No. Move on and be better in whatever you're doing next time. That's pretty much it. It might be blunt but I mean well.
     
    Last edited: Feb 24, 2022
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  6. Cutter Masterson

    Cutter Masterson Well-Known Super-Soldier

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    I never liked parents that put that much pressure on their kids. Personally I am in the belief that doing your best is good enough. Of course that includes trying your best.
    The thing is life is never perfect and it doesn’t go as plan, but that’s not the point. It’s what you do next that matters. There’s three ways usually to handle this. One negativity and be depressed. Second an indifferent outlook. Which doesn’t make sense because you did it for a reason. Lastly the third way. Which is a positive way. People can say whatever they want, but they don’t know what’s going on in you and your feelings. But I’m going to tell you anyway. Flip it like a switch. I know it sounds impossible, but hear me out. Get piss. Get angry. Than go out there and prove them all wrong. Forget everything and focus on you not sitting there and taking it. Get mad. Burn with a WILL to do something. It be the gym. School work. Or anything. Narrow your eyes and stare into the distance. Than fight. Give all that you can.
    Believe me. Whatever happens after that will only be positive. I guarantee it will be a whole lot better than what’s happening now.
    No one controls you or your future. You decide what you want to do.
    I wish you luck
     
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  7. AliceShiki

    AliceShiki 『Ms. Tree』『Magical Girl of Love and Justice』

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    Well, I can't say I ever cared for exams (I was happy with any passing grade), so it's really hard for me to relate.

    What I can tell you though, is that I don't think you should worry too much about it. It's normal to overworry about grades and the like when we're younger, because it's like... Well, one of our few responsibilities at that age. It's normal to get stressed over it. Even if I personally never cared, I know that a lot of my friends cared a lot about their grades.

    ... But it will pass. As you grow older, those grades will start mattering less and less. You'll eventually get into a job and see that a ton of what you saw on school didn't help you in the slightest, and you'll see colleagues with C grades on the same job that you got with an A... It just doesn't matter as much as we tend to think when we're young.

    Just try to relax and not overworry about it, I guess? Grades are useful when you're studying, but not so much afterwards... It's fine if they aren't perfect.
     
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  8. luoxinle

    luoxinle Book Club Founder

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    Try to remind yourself of your purpose in taking the exam. You wanted to satisfy your parents and you succeeded.

    As for the English Literature paper, any good writer will tell you that they have written a lot of terrible writing. Learning to be okay with writing bad quality material is essential for being a good writer, because you will otherwise be paralyzed by perfectionism, and resistant to editing.

    As a writer, you need to know that your writing will never be the best, but it still needs to get published on a deadline. You will write things and later realize you are going to cut whole chapters and rewrite. Sometimes you'll look back at your old writing and cringe. Sometimes you'll look at your current writing and cringe, but publish it anyway.

    There are some writers who insist on only publishing writing that meets their standards, but they are either extremely prolific or don't need to get paid. If you want to write as a career, there will be times when you have to hand in writing that doesn't meet your own standards.

    All of which is to say, this is an opportunity to begin to grow into a professional writer. You can learn some of the emotional parts of a writing career from this moment and this experience.

    I hope some of this helps.
     
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