How to speak properly

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by KizunaAi, Jul 27, 2019.

  1. KizunaAi

    KizunaAi {Cookie Lover} {Sad Lil Girl}

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    I have a problem ... As a teenager I don't know how to speak with people properly...I always speak before thinking and my family always scold me for not speak properly ...How can I speak properly ?
     
  2. Chize

    Chize Well-Known Member

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    Not speaking properly as in...? Stuttering?
    Wrong pronunciations? Low voice?
     
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  3. canaria23

    canaria23 『  』

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    I think he always say the wrong things
     
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  4. RNGesus

    RNGesus <<+10 Luck upon seeing this Nuffian>>

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    Change your speaking reflex. Don't immediately speak out. Observe. Absorb. Reflect upon your words. Then speak. Or not. It will delay your response time at first, but you'll get used to it.
     
  5. Jojo775

    Jojo775 Well-Known Member

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    What do you mean, etiquette or do you say inappropriate things and accidentally hurt someone or bring down the mood?
     
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  6. Nightow1

    Nightow1 Well-Known Member

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    It is a patience issue. It can be learned, you just have to want it enough to wait, watch then act.

    Or it can be terrified into you but I recommend against it, traumatic events enough to turn a person "mute" are not often good stuff.
     
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  7. Naruin

    Naruin [Dada's New Employee][ex-NAH owner]

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    u mean being outspoken/tactless?
     
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  8. Kalto

    Kalto [ Somewhat meticulous ] [ Jack Kalto ]

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    Don't speak, unless, you must answer something, usually a simple gesture like nod or smile should suffice,
     
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  9. Traveling Chef

    Traveling Chef ⁽ʕ•̀ω•́ʔ╯.+:。Professional Unichef~

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    either stop and think thoroughly about every word you wish to speak, or don't give a damn what people think and speak how you want, when you want, and being as tactful as you want. just be prepared for the consequences speaking like that can bring.
     
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  10. lehur

    lehur ぼく愛エリス

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    1. Look at the eyes (if not accustomed then forehead)
    2. Your back should straight
    3. Control your perspiration it's used to avoid Stuttering/Agitating (train this with going to an empty place and scream your lungs out, and doing respiration exercise, coz Stuttering/Agitating is kinda difficult for a certain person who has done it like a habit
    4. Talking many times until you feel it as normal as breathing (Usopp lying since as kid to the point he didn't feel like he is lying)
     
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  11. justmehere

    justmehere Well-Known Member

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    Everything you do for 10k hours would be good.

    So just learn how to speak properly by that much starting now.
     
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  12. novalance

    novalance Well-Known Member

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    Are you being scolded not because of speaking improperly but for reading a situation incorrectly, such as being blunt and insensitive? It is difficult to understand the situation without more clarification on the scolding.
     
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  13. Drake98

    Drake98 Concerned Fan

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    try to calm yourself. It might be you are just too excited. happened to me too every time i got excited in a topic
     
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  14. Nargol

    Nargol Evangelist. Candy-san. Pope of the Cult of Pyoo

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    This has a tendency of making you seem slow, or slightly eerie. The small pauses it often causes in conversation can easily make people feel you're hard to approach.

    I don't think it's much better than just talking before you think tbh.


    OP: learn when to smile. It sounds like it has nothing to do with your problem, but I can pretty much guarantee it would help you greatly.

    When you say something stupid or insensitive, having the right type of expression and body language can easily turn it into something funny or satirical instead.

    Smiling properly also let's you make small talk far easier. Flirting with cashiers or making friends, if you smile properly and stick to the basics, it isn't that hard.

    Other than that, the only advice I can give you is to change your image. If everyone around you thinks of you as someone who speaks before he thinks, they'll say that even if you've given it good thought first.
     
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  15. Shtirliz

    Shtirliz Well-Known Member

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    Ugh. Speak properly, what exactly your problem?(that irony though ;))
     
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  16. Silv0

    Silv0 Well-Known Member

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    Don't think too hard about changing it. I had a problem of speaking without thinking as well but I tried too hard to change it and now I have a hard time speaking my mind because I'm too conscious of what I say. Just watch your surroundings and how people react and try to adjust little by little.
     
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  17. Disgusting

    Disgusting Fetishist

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    A great person, idk who said this...
    "Listen, then talk. That way you know what they are talking about and you can properly and utterly destroy them pieces of shits." Along those lines

    One reason people look stupid in public is because they speak without thinking.
     
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  18. Bakaturq

    Bakaturq mudamudamudamudamudaitisiDIOmudamuda

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    Practice by singing Rap God by Eminem or Blacklicious Alphabet
     
  19. novalance

    novalance Well-Known Member

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    I got a like, I am going to assume that you are not quite reading the situation properly and saying the wrong thing that apparently hurts someone's feelings, not intentionally. Ya, I actually do that myself as well and it took me while to figure out how to "mostly" avoid it. It's always a work in progress for me. But these are things I have found that helps when I get thrown into "those"(someone's cat dies... etc.) types of situation where I don't completely understand it. This is a kind of guide/flow I have learned to follow over the many... many years through trial and error that has "worked."


    1. Start off with a question.
    example: (someone's cat died)
    When did it happen? or How did it happen?

    2. Always wait and think of the sentence you want to communicate and complete it in your mind before you say it. Take all the time in the world.

    3. Speak slower when your in a situation you don't completely understand. By doing this, I find that others will typically work to slow down to your pace as talking is asymmetrical, so by you slowing down the other party on most cases will slow down as well.

    I got this idea from watching a special on Walter Cronkite years and years ago and some of his old and newer news broadcasts to get of sense speed you wanna use.
    On the Wiki:

    "Cronkite trained himself to speak at a rate of 124 words per minute in his newscasts, so that viewers could clearly understand him.[96] In contrast, Americans average about 165 words per minute, and fast, difficult-to-understand talkers speak close to 200 words per minute.[97]"

    4. If your in a position where you may be forced to answer before you can do the above, I always resort to apologizing and straight out saying "I do not understand." "I don't get it." "I am trying to understand."
    example:"Why won't you answer me!!" <--- you know those occasions.

    5. Avoid certain words that can be misconstrued, completely strike them from your vocabulary... Words such as "obviously" or "basically", "to put it simply" are words or phrases I consciously and actively avoid. Any words that you would use while you are talking down to someone are ones you want to flag as things you do not want to say often or not at all even in a friendly setting.
     
    Last edited: Jul 27, 2019
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