Misc I CHALLENGE YOU TO NOVEL COMBAT!

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is the following:

Using one of the generators listed below, input words, names, phrases, in English, specific to the xianxia/wuxia genres. Specifically all those cliche little sayings that get repeated 1200 times a novel that we are heartily sick of hearing. Press generate, and post your "story"


http://www.plot-generator.org.uk/story/
http://www.the-elite.net/story-generator/
http://fanficmaker.com/
http://www.seventhsanctum.com/index.php

We may need some obsessive, kind hearted fan to post a list of common xianxia/wuxia phrases for use in this project.

Enjoy the madness. Let's see if anyone's story comes close to the actual plot of a published novel(WN or LN).

I'll do a poll later to see which one is liked the best.

***EDIT - please place story in spoiler tags to avoid page being too long.

 

whelp i tried random.... and i got BL i think....

Spoiler: =/

Two Adorable Uncles Chatting to the Beat
A Short Story
by Antares
Will Bishop looked at the tattered guillotine in his hands and felt ecstatic.

He walked over to the window and reflected on his dull surroundings. He had always loved snooty San Diego with its obnoxious, obedient oceans. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel ecstatic.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Mark Sparrow. Mark was a forgetful lover with sloppy fingers and charming elbows.

Will gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a wild, intelligent, port drinker with wobbly fingers and blonde elbows. His friends saw him as a wonderful, whispering writer. Once, he had even made a cup of tea for a handsome baby.

But not even a wild person who had once made a cup of tea for a handsome baby, was prepared for what Mark had in store today.

The sleet rained like loving goldfish, making Will active.

As Will stepped outside and Mark came closer, he could see the shivering glint in his eye.

"Look Will," growled Mark, with an optimistic glare that reminded Will of forgetful ostriches. "It's not that I don't love you, but I want love. You owe me 6756 gold pieces."

Will looked back, even more active and still fingering the tattered guillotine. "Mark, I've got a new job," he replied.

They looked at each other with cross feelings, like two miniature, magnificent monkeys rampaging at a very clumsy funeral, which had reggae music playing in the background and two adorable uncles chatting to the beat.

Will regarded Mark's sloppy fingers and charming elbows. "I don't have the funds ..." he lied.

Mark glared. "Do you want me to shove that tattered guillotine where the sun don't shine?"

Will promptly remembered his wild and intelligent values. "Actually, I do have the funds," he admitted. He reached into his pockets. "Here's what I owe you."

Mark looked afraid, his wallet blushing like a kaleidoscopic, klutzy kettle.

Then Mark came inside for a nice glass of port.

THE END

Edits*** ahh crap you said to input cliche lines D=

 

Bleach: Ichigo Kurosaki VS Aizen - THE FINAL BATTLE : The Last Struggle of Good and Evil
by Serenity Darkmoon Raven

Spoiler: SPOILER

On a cold september, after my great adventures, I was wondering what to do that week. I had picked up my life from where I left it and wanted to make something from it. Then all the sudden a strange woman appeared on my doorstep. She was hiden beneath a long cloak and had long brown nails on her fingers. Her dirty hair fluished down from beneath the cloak and she had glowing eyes!
"You are not who you think you are!" said the strange woman.
"What do you mean?" I said.
"You are not who you think you are," she said again with a mysterious crackling voice like a bad radio transmission.
"I still don't understand you?" I said.
"Here, take this," she said and gave I an Buddy Christ.
"Take this and give it to your parents or guardian, they will know what to do with it!"
And with that she disappeared before my eyes!

I was confused but thought that I had to do something. But rather than going to my parents or guardian, I decided to show it to Ishida.
"Oh no," said Ishida, "you must forget about this!"
"Why?" I enquired, "what do you know?!"
"I... I can't tell you. My dear Ichigo, I didn't think it would be this soon!"
"What?!" I yelled, "are you keeping things away from me?!"
"It's .... it's for your own good! You cannot know this!" said Ishida and before I could do anything, Ishida had escaped my grasp.
"No! Dammit! When will I ever know the truth?!"
I was feeling depressed. One of my best friends abandoned and betrayed me. It hurt. So I wanted to find Rukia. After their adventure, I and Rukia had been spending a lot of time together. I kind of started to like her.
So I went to Rukia and told the whole story. She listened to me without saying a single word.
Then she said: "WTF, this is sooo big"
And I said: I know! Do you know a way to find out what is happening? Why is everyone hiding things from me?!"
Rukia sighed and said: "You have always been special, I and not just to me."
"How do you know that?"
Rukia looked at the carpet that I had received and said: "it kind of looks like the Memory Rosary, doesn't it?"
"could be...but it might not be...but, yeah,certainly it might be"
"Whatever it is, I can recognise it quite well. And I think," Rukia said, "that perhaps the mysterious woman wanted you to find something inside of you.
"Inside? Like my heart?"
"No, don't be silly, like a mamory. Think about it, if your parents lied to you and now Ishida doesn't want to talk to you about your background, perhaps there is a hidden memory in your head!"
Rukia's logic was flawless. So I had to try it!

So I concentrated on the object. immeditately I felt drawn into it. It stated ouit as a vague, fuzzy thing like when you wear glasses and there is a lot of moisture in the air and you see a cock on the horizon.
But then it turned out that there was a secret memory, hidden beneath the vail layer of self-loving in my head.

And within that memory, a burning figure appeared. It was Aizen! In hell...

I was confused. I didn't think that memory would be in there, and yet it was there, burning like the heart of a newborn star and the centre of the earth.
Everyone who looked could see there was a undeniably, ravenous animal attraction between Ichigo Kurosaki and Orihime.
No one could deny it.
No one except Orihime and Ichigo Kurosaki, that is.

They seemed blissfully unaware of their attraction to each-other. Unaware of their boundless uncontrollable lust.
Every time they met they didn't show it, but everyone knew. Everyone knew what was really going on between them.

A war of lust.

And everyone knew that it was a unsuitable situation. No one wanted to be dragged into that war.
Something had to be done.

Fortunately Ishida worked at a newspaper nowadays and he used the database of the newspaper to find out home turf of Aizen's ruffians.
Their search led to a gay night club in the darkiest and stormiest part of spirit society. I was a little hesitant to go. It was rather scary and it was dark and stomy in that secting of spirit society. But the courage in me was greater than my fear because with my Bankai I should be able to accomplish anything, right, I thought to myself.
And Ishida would join me.

So not to fall out of fashion we both stripped and squeezed into their most gothyest clothing. I had to admit that Ishida looked kind of sexy in that outfit of his. But I didn't dare to comment on that (I had only just discovered I am bi, and I was a little angxious over that. I wans't sure if my othre friends would accept that!.
I instead poored down my soul into my make-up. I bore incandesent blood-rose coloured finger nails with black streaking strips and gave Ishida the same treatment. Ishida gorgeous eyes met mine and for a moment we were both swimming in a pool made of a lovely combination of their eyes colours. It was romance we knew, but we didn't know whether it was a forbidden one or not!

Oh hell, Aizen could wait. Now I looked upon Ishida with lust filling my pecker . Aizen could be taking over the world for what I cared, now it should be all about me and Ishida.

But little did I know that in fact Ishida had been lusting after me as well! With force and lust Ishida threw me onto the closet and thrusted himself right into me. I moaned. We came. Then we went off and defeated Aizen.
In the middle of all this, finally,Ishida could stand it no longer.
He found Ichigo Kurosaki, and pulled them to one side
"Thats it! its ruining the team. Its clear you cant function while Orihime is around!"
"What no! I am fine."
"No. Its very clear. You need to do the Shagging with them"
Everyone else in the room nodded at this.
"But doing the shagging with Orihime...isn't that..umm...wrong?"
"Oh, sure, its wrong. Very very wrong.
But just because somethings wrong doesn't mean it shouldn't happen does it?"
"No, I suppose not"
Ichigo wondered off thinking of the shagging....how will he introduce the idea to Orihime? and would they accept it?
Ichigo finally found a moment to pull Orihime away from the others, to have a private moment.
"Ichigo Kurosaki we have to do it"
"I know, my team told me as well. Apparently our feelings are causing problems for everyone else."
"So we are agreed? We finally let our feelings out of their cages of repression they have been caged in all this time?"
"Yes. For the team"
"No...for us"
Ichigo leapt on Orihime at that moment.The raging panda they kept locked up finally unleashed.
Ichigo and Orihime quickly became a ball of body-parts. Heads, anckles and elbows all tangled together. Ichigo didn't know what bit to focus on, so grabbed a spare meat thermometer and dived in.
"More! More! More!" whispered Orihime to Ichigo Kurosaki.
Their love making was like a sunrise of penis's. Its like they were everywhere - inescapable (not that either of them wanted to escape them).
Things got...messy...from that point on.



Nearby the others occasionally heard screams. But politely ignored it.
This had been coming far too long to ruin it now - and this team bonding was very much needed.
So we snuck into the Aizen's lair. It was dark and there were horrofic things on the walls like drawings of skulls and suffering people who were beaing tortured in lava and beaten with hot pipes.
Through the dark and dank corridors of the lair's dungeons we went with outmost silence and skill. We sneaked past all the guards who had been turned into horrible demons by Aizen's new invention. And this would also happen to the whole world if they wouldn't be able to steal the Memory Rosary from Aizen's hands!
They went down the corridors and up the large majestic stairways made of bones and jewls of all shapes and sizes sprinkled with saffron.. One of the corridors led towards a great hall where in the middle of the hall stood a pedestaldripping in blood with a treassure chest on top and on that a red velvet pillow upon which laid a white silk finely woven cloth. And on that laid the Memory Rosary.

I knew that I had to use all of the Bankai (which I learned from Ichigo) to get the Memory Rosary but it would backfire if he wasn't careful enough. Rukia inhaled firmly and wondered if I could pull it off. Ishida stood ready with his weapon in his hand . I concentrated firmly and then carefully but powerfully unleashed my Bankai.

It worked! Ichigo was amazed at my skill! The shielding around the Memory Rosary fell away like icecream in a microwave. It was amazing how my welding Bankai was effective against Aizen's indomitable powers.
Unfortunately for our braveprotagonists, it wasn't enough

"Halt!" said a booming voice. Everyone slowly spun around to face the entrance of the hall where the voice came from.
It was Aizen! And he looked even less humane as before. He had used the power of the Memory Rosary to transform into a indiscernible mistake of a humanoid.
"Ha! Are you surprised by my new looks?" he said. "It is amazing! The powers I have now are beyond your comprehension!"
"My comprehension is really good," I retorted and Ichigo and friends looked proud.
"Hahaha of course yours is. But are you able to comprehend the future of this world? I bet you aren't that smart after all. I will rule the world now, you see and there is nothing you can do to stop me! Even when Ichigo taught you evreything he knows!"
"But," said Aizen with a lower tone, "even though you are not as smart as I am, you are surprisingly capable so I wish to make this offer: join me and we can rule this world together!"
"Heck no" screamed Ichigo!
"Think about it, you can now still save your friends! Make them stop mutate ebefore I release my powers!"
I saw Ichigo becoming tembling. I knew he wanted to keep Rukia, Chad, Orihime and Ishida alive but I could not get Aizen get away with it! But then I remembered: Aizen no longer had the Memory Rosary! He was powerless!
But as if Aizen could read my mind, Aizen spoke: "Oh and your scheme to steal the Memory Rosary? I no longer need it! I have gained all the power from it that I need in order to mutate everyone in the whole world! But not that you even considered going against me, I will destroy you. Such a shame, we could be such good...friends."
"Allison would never be friends with you!" said Orihime

"It is too late now anyway, said Aizen, my plan is active now and I will give you the best place to enjoy it: from your prison cell!"
Aizen laughed and said to his guards: "lead them to my sex dungeon where you will suffer for all eternity in agony .

But I had not forgotten Ichigo's Bankai. With the stealth and strenght that I learned from his previous adventures, he breathed in and unleashed the Bankai.
Aizen had not expected that. He thought he had trapped me and my friends and managed to demoralise them so much they would not resist.
"Arggg!" Aizen said. His guards did not know what to do. Their leader was too weak against this onslaught. What could they do against that sort of might? So they all fled!
"Argh, noooo!" Aizen extrapolated, "I was soo close to ultimate power!"
Seeing my succesfully attack Aizen, Ichigo Kurosaki, Orihime and Chad also attacked Aizen!

"Arigh, no, noooo!"
"I will unleash my final power!" Aizen said and raised his arms to the sky and started chanting an evil curse.
But Ichigo was too quick. He ran towards Aizen and hit Aizen in the head. He was knocked out instantly. Everyone was happy and everyone was cheering for Ichigo Kurosaki who had avoided the apocalypse! Ichigo thanked me for my inspiration and actions. And now we all went home and wait until our next adventure!

Edit: Well I did not put the cliche lines, but I think it has some bits of it

 

That was interesting, and thanks for putting it in spoiler tags, I assume to prevent a 12' long page. I'll add that to the rules at top.

 

I did a quick search of previous forum posts and found a few that list a bunch of those types of sayings:
http://forum.novelupdates.com/threads/read-too-many-xianxia-wuxia-when.2216/
http://forum.novelupdates.com/threads/what-if-people-today-were-like-the-ones-in-xianxias.2079/
http://forum.novelupdates.com/threads/favorite-phrase-from-chinese-novels-you-learned.1884/

 

Spoiler: Story

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Adventures of Shancellor mcgrabby : The True Story
by Shance Gambling
A/N: I wrote this fic because I think Lingé is really badass and wanted to write something with him in it! In the darkness of that night, away from the preying eyes and ears of those who would judge, some strangers slipped by unnoticed. But they were not strangers, they knew each-other. And they knew each-other much closer then any of their friends did realize. They knew each-other both inside and out. But their friends did not know this. Their friends could not know. Their friends should not know this. Nor could they know. Because it was night, and thus away from their viscous, judging eyeballs. "Is it safe?" said the first stranger, who was not a stranger to the other stranger but will remain a stranger to us for the moment. "I think so. Its dark so none of the others should see us here, even if they are nearby. I think our secret is safe." "Good. I couldn't take their judgement right now. My life is too stressful as it is. If it wasn't for you I don't know what Id do." "Don't worry Shancellor mcgrabby, I will always be here for you - waiting in the dark" "Thanks, Olivia. I will always be in the dark for you too" With that the two shadows embraced - an embracement in the night full of passion and romance. Far far away, in a magical far away distant land.. For a moment time seemed to slowed down. Shancellor mcgrabby wondered why. Shancellor mcgrabby turned around slowly (due to the time seeming to have slowed down). Then the explanation - Olivia was secretly looking at him. Looking at him in that special way. Shancellor mcgrabbys soul lit up like a beacon in the night - even though it was day. In all of this. In all of this mess. They had eachother, even if eachother was the only ones that knew. Olivia turned away at that moment - Time jumped back to normal as Shancellor mcgrabby was no longer transfixiated by Olivia. Fortunately no one else had noticed. Shancellor mcgrabby woke up one day and discovered that he was goth. His parents had come to him and told him that he was really adopted and was in fact the decadent of the fallen angel! So now knowing that Shancellor mcgrabby was the relative of the great duke of the night, Shancellor mcgrabby saw that he had to change everything about him because he was not really what he thought he was. But luck would have it that Shancellor mcgrabby's best friends Snowfall and Lingé had heard the news of Shancellor mcgrabby's parents and that they had arranged to accompany Shancellor mcgrabby on his journey to find himself. First stop....the shopping centre! At the shoppingcenter Shancellor mcgrabby went to all the cool black clothes stores. Now that he was really a half vampire, or as his parents told him, a dhampire (a/n: really, that's what they're called!), his parents had given him a credit card with ulminited funds to become his true self! But Shancellor mcgrabby was really actually very drepssed. It was really hard to suddenly discoger that your parents had lied to you all those yaers and it wasn't made it any better by Shancellor mcgrabby suddenly remembering a horrible thuing of his past. Shancellor mcgrabby was sexkually abused! And now Shancellor mcgrabby also remembered by who but he didn't dare to tell Snowfall and Lingé because he was afraid that thye would discover what had happened to Shancellor mcgrabby and why Shancellor mcgrabby was depressed! So while they were picking out black and red clothes and nail polish, Shancellor mcgrabby tried to fight his tears by listening to Evanessence. Because for the first time in Shancellor mcgrabby's life, he had the feeling someone understood his pain. So Shancellor mcgrabby listened to the songs in one ear while using his other ear to follow Lingé's story. But it was so difficult because Shancellor mcgrabby.... really loved Lingé! Shancellor mcgrabby knew these were wrong feelings to have because... younknow, it's Lingé and their love would make life very difficult because Shancellor mcgrabby also remembered a prophecy that someone had told him in the past (before he was rapped) and that said that if Shancellor mcgrabby would ever fall in love with Lingé, that then Olivia would find them and kill them! And as Shancellor mcgrabby was putting on some new blood red ankle spikes that went well with the dark black studded dog collar that Snowfall had recommended, Shancellor mcgrabby suddenly saw a glint in the distance and he knew instantly what it was: it was the diamond ring of Olivia! She had come to haunt Shancellor mcgrabby and destroy Lingé! A/N I got bord of writing the fanfic as it was so I decided to change things around. I hope u guys like it!! She was as of yet the most beautifyl thingy in the whole of Earth, Shancellor mcgrabby believed her to be. As she faigjt the great villianness Olivia, her Big boppers bobbed up and down consistently like someone making love in a car. She swipped sexlyat the Olivia and was more than anything Shancellor mcgrabby had seen before. Her beatiful feistful pressure shocked Olivia's henchmen into copulating before her. Lingé, take my sword! said Shancellor mcgrabby, and give it to the greatness before us. She will need our legendary sword in order to defeat the great uber-Olivia And lo! Lingé did so and the maginificent great mysterious woman took the sword and stabbed Olivia. She was defeated. But was Olivia? Because as Shancellor mcgrabby ran towards the mysterious strange beauty of his draems and was about to share the greatest kiss he(and more) had ever given to someomne in the history of mankind, Olivia rose up and fled! Some time later in their secret hide-away ; "I am glade we found a way to survive all that and still be together" "Yes, our plan seems to have worked despite all the events" "Do you think anyone spotted us?" "No" "No" "Yes" Lingé emerged from the shadows of the darkness. "I know everything" he said. Shancellor mcgrabby and Olivia gasped. Their secret was finally revealed! "I dont love Olivia like you do" said Lingé "but I have always lusted a bit after them. So you see if Olivia spends the night with me - I will never tell anyone." Shancellor mcgrabby breathed a sigh of relief. That was, after all, a reasonable request. They agreed to the bargain. "Phwee...thats something we can go along with" said Olivia relieved. Lingé was happy, and Shancellor mcgrabby and Olivia thus got to live happily ever after together. With no one but Lingé and themselves ever knowing. And this is where the story ends... It has come... to my attention... that some readers... don't like my art. They say that it's...it's all anti-semetic (sxuz me, but jews are like that!) and racist (I had a black classmate in my class once and he was really stupid lol) and anatomicly impossible (FWHYI they all do Yoga, and thats totaly possible). That hurts me a lot. Really... a lot. Do u know how long it takes me to write my stories? Do u think I like it being stuck at home with nothing to do but writing my soul into my art? My boyfriend broke up w/ me and I'm sad because of all the stupid Enlgihs assignments I got (who needz it anyways, I speak it lol) Writing is the only thing that makes me happy, but if that isn't good enough for u people, then I'm going to call it quits! Yes, that's righr! I won't finish this story! Suck it Internet! HAPPY NOW?!!!! I want to thank QueenRickman34 and Pinkyjack for beta reading, but I... I... I... just can't take it anymore. Farewell internet. I'll never trust you again!




(It's our proper business site of properness.
Despite that, I made an arrow drive about like a car.)

The Fanficmaker is written and coded by Thomas Wrobel and Bertine van Hövell. The work produced is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.

(sorry about the advert, but, you know,
gota pay for hosting, food, games...)

 

yes i rather dislike page stretches since it makes it difficult to fine where im looking for on a page

 

The raging panda made me lmao. You're right, I don't think raging panda is cliche.

 

No change given after reading... have fun. (Used the first site, pretty short)

Spoiler: Bright In Mid Air

Bright In mid air

Spoiler: Bright In Mid Air

A Short Story
by Slyin
Bee Ware was thinking about Random Foe again. Random was a Fiery Wasted with Tall Groin and Hairy Face.

Bee walked over to the window and reflected on his Open surroundings. He had always loved Bright In mid air with its shaky, shivering Sky. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel Angry.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the a Fiery figure of Random Foe.

Bee gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a Proud, Ridiculous, Mixed pizza drinker with Bulky Groin and Slender Face. His friends saw him as a breezy, bad Brat. Once, he had even helped a testy Winny cross the road.

But not even a Proud person who had once helped a testy Winny cross the road, was prepared for what Random had in store today.

The sun shone like Flying Dog, making Bee Indignate. Bee grabbed a Preposterous Pill that had been strewn nearby; he massaged it with his fingers.

As Bee stepped outside and Random came closer, he could see the lively glint in his eye.

"I am here because I want Life," Random bellowed, in an Idiotic tone. He slammed his fist against Bee's chest, with the force of 1289 Vulture. "I frigging hate you, Bee Ware."

Bee looked back, even more Indignate and still fingering the Preposterous Pill. "Random, you want money but not your life ," he replied.

They looked at each other with Hungry feelings, like two hot, hissing Hyena Following at a very Aloof Random encounter, which had Organ music playing in the background and two Aughty uncles Abusing to the beat.

Suddenly, Random lunged forward and tried to punch Bee in the face. Quickly, Bee grabbed the Preposterous Pill and brought it down on Random's skull.

Random's Tall Groin trembled and his Hairy Face wobbled. He looked Greedy, his body raw like a wooden, wicked Weapon.

Then he let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Random Foe was dead.

Bee Ware went back inside and made himself a nice drink of Mixed pizza.

THE END

 

This... that... wtf!?!?

Spoiler

The Cloudy that Teased like Killing Wolfs
A Short Story
by DarkArts
Hao Yu had always hated wild Qīngsè Yun with its tight, tender Trees. It was a place where he felt exited.

He was a murderous, asura, wine drinker with slim hair and tall eyebrows. His friends saw him as an amused, abundant Asura. Once, he had even helped a tired phoenix deity recover from a flying accident. That's the sort of man he was.

Hao walked over to the window and reflected on his ancient surroundings. The cloudy teased like Killing wolfs.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Zi Yun. Zi was a crafty Gentle with scary hair and dark eyebrows.

Hao gulped. He was not prepared for Zi.

As Hao stepped outside and Zi came closer, he could see the expensive smile on her face.

"I am here because I want an explication," Zi bellowed, in a furious tone. She slammed her fist against Hao's chest, with the force of 4010 dragons. "I frigging love you, Hao Yu."

Hao looked back, even more sad and still fingering the Empyrean Sword. "Zi, learn the The Height of the Heavens and the Depth of the Earth," he replied.

They looked at each other with murderous feelings, like two tender, tame tiger Fighting at a very funny funeral, which had guqing music playing in the background and two scammer uncles Cultivating to the beat.

Suddenly, Zi lunged forward and tried to punch Hao in the face. Quickly, Hao grabbed the Empyrean Sword and brought it down on Zi's skull.

Zi's scary hair trembled and her dark eyebrows wobbled. She looked angry, her body raw like a modern, melted Mask.

Then she let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Zi Yun was dead.

Hao Yu went back inside and made himself a nice glass of wine.

THE END

lel...

 

*puts down my hardcover complete works of Sherlock Holmes*
I thought novel combat meant something slightly different *whistles and walks away*

 

Spoiler: I dont even knows what this is

Two Courageous Uncles Defenestrating to the Beat
A Short Story
by Heavenly Immortal Cat
Lin Feng was thinking about Yun Che again. Yun was a war-like trash with small arms and tattooed eyes.

Lin walked over to the window and reflected on her essential surroundings. She had always loved unseeable Mt Tai with its relieved, robust rocks. It was a place that encouraged her tendency to feel love.

Then she saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the a war-like figure of Yun Che.

Lin gulped. She glanced at her own reflection. She was a determined, cold, blood drinker with jade-like skin arms and long hair eyes. Her friends saw her as a tart, talented trash. Once, she had even made a cup of tea for an old little sister.

But not even a determined person who had once made a cup of tea for an old little sister, was prepared for what Yun had in store today.

The lightning teased like dodging Godeater rat, making Lin happy. Lin grabbed a throat-piercing mysterious ring that had been strewn nearby; she massaged it with her fingers.

As Lin stepped outside and Yun came closer, she could see the obedient smile on her face.

"I am here because I want Face," Yun bellowed, in an arrogant tone. She slammed her fist against Lin's chest, with the force of 2526 Azure Dragon. "I frigging love you, Lin Feng."

Lin looked back, even more happy and still fingering the throat-piercing mysterious ring. "Yun, you are courting death," she replied.

They looked at each other with angry feelings, like two brainy, blushing Blood Mastiff dominating at a very hot-blooded competition, which had metal music playing in the background and two courageous uncles defenestrating to the beat.

Suddenly, Yun lunged forward and tried to punch Lin in the face. Quickly, Lin grabbed the throat-piercing mysterious ring and brought it down on Yun's skull.

Yun's small arms trembled and her tattooed eyes wobbled. She looked proud, her body raw like an ugliest, unlawful unbreakable sword.

Then she let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Yun Che was dead.

Lin Feng went back inside and made herself a nice drink of blood.

THE END

 

The Invaluable Sword

Spoiler: The Generated Story

The Invaluable Sword
A Short Story
by Amasuka
Hao Meng had always hated wild Jianghu with its fluttering, fair forest. It was a place where he felt lonely.

He was a scheming, adorable, wine drinker with handsome legs and overbearing arms. His friends saw him as a fluttering, fair fighter. Once, he had even helped a friendly injured lady cross the road. That's the sort of man he was.

Hao walked over to the window and reflected on his backward surroundings. The moon shone like rampaging dragons.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Main Heroine. Main was a spiteful monster with young legs and charming arms.

Hao gulped. He was not prepared for Main.

As Hao stepped outside and Main came closer, he could see the lucky smile on her face.

"I am here because I want justice," Main bellowed, in an admirable tone. She slammed her fist against Hao's chest, with the force of 3732 serpents. "I frigging hate you, Hao Meng."

Hao looked back, even more anxious and still fingering the invaluable sword. "Main, help me avenge my family," he replied.

They looked at each other with stressed feelings, like two disgusted, distinct demons loving at a very charming funeral, which had classic music playing in the background and two uncles fighting to the beat.

Suddenly, Main lunged forward and tried to punch Hao in the face. Quickly, Hao grabbed the invaluable sword and brought it down on Main's skull.

Main's young legs trembled and her charming arms wobbled. She looked worried, her body raw like a sticky, small spear.

Then she let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Main Heroine was dead.

Hao Meng went back inside and made himself a nice glass of wine.

THE END

looks like stories generated from http://www.plot-generator.org.uk mostly have the same format.

 

attempt number 2! used the 2nd generator...

Spoiler: moof

It all started when our hero, Chen Zhi Yan, woke up in a vineyard. It was the fifth time it had happened. Feeling exceedingly angered, Chen Zhi Yan groped a butterknife, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Out of nowhere, he realized that his beloved mystic cold flame flower was missing! Immediately he called his friend, Yu Fan. Chen Zhi Yan had known Yu Fan for (plus or minus) half a million years, the majority of which were enchanting ones. Yu Fan was unique. She was congenial though sometimes a little... pestering. Chen Zhi Yan called her anyway, for the situation was urgent.

Yu Fan picked up to a very sad Chen Zhi Yan. Yu Fan calmly assured him that most hamsters turn red before mating, yet puppies usually flamboyantly yawn *after* mating. She had no idea what that meant; she was only concerned with distracting Chen Zhi Yan. Why was Yu Fan trying to distract Chen Zhi Yan? Because she had snuck out from Chen Zhi Yan's with the mystic cold flame flower only eleven days prior. It was a curious little mystic cold flame flower... how could she resist?

It didn't take long before Chen Zhi Yan got back to the subject at hand: his mystic cold flame flower. Yu Fan panicked. Relunctantly, Yu Fan invited him over, assuring him they'd find the mystic cold flame flower. Chen Zhi Yan grabbed his grandfather clock and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Yu Fan realized that she was in trouble. She had to find a place to hide the mystic cold flame flower and she had to do it recklessly. She figured that if Chen Zhi Yan took the truck, she had take at least three minutes before Chen Zhi Yan would get there. But if he took the war horse? Then Yu Fan would be ridiculously screwed.

Before she could come up with any reasonable ideas, Yu Fan was interrupted by eleven clueless rabbits that were lured by her mystic cold flame flower. Yu Fan sneezed; 'Not again', she thought. Feeling frustrated, she thoughtfully reached for her salt shaker and aptly attacked every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the desert, squealing with discontent. She exhaled with relief. That's when she heard the war horse rolling up. It was Chen Zhi Yan.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at Sears to pick up a 12-pack of oven mitts, so he knew he was running late. With a mighty leap, Chen Zhi Yan was out of the war horse and went indiscriminately jaunting toward Yu Fan's front door. Meanwhile inside, Yu Fan was panicking. Not thinking, she tossed the mystic cold flame flower into a box of oven mitts and then slid the box behind her desk. Yu Fan was displeased but at least the mystic cold flame flower was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' Yu Fan flamboyantly purred. With a skillful push, Chen Zhi Yan opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some pestering maniac in a Viper,' he lied. 'It's fine,' Yu Fan assured him. Chen Zhi Yan took a seat outside where Yu Fan had hidden the mystic cold flame flower. Yu Fan panicked trying unsuccessfully to hide her nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' she blurted. But Chen Zhi Yan was distracted. Rather abruptly, Yu Fan noticed a clueless look on Chen Zhi Yan's face. Chen Zhi Yan slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

Yu Fan felt a stabbing pain in her back when Chen Zhi Yan asked this. In a moment of disbelief, she realized that she had hidden the mystic cold flame flower right by her oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A annoying look started to form on Chen Zhi Yan's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's mittens from when she used to have pet bunnies. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Chen Zhi Yan nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Yu Fan could react, Chen Zhi Yan recklessly lunged toward the box and opened it. The mystic cold flame flower was plainly in view.

Chen Zhi Yan stared at Yu Fan for what what must've been five milliseconds. All of a sudden, Yu Fan groped wildly in Chen Zhi Yan's direction, clearly desperate. Chen Zhi Yan grabbed the mystic cold flame flower and bolted for the door. It was locked. Yu Fan let out a enticing chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Chen Zhi Yan,' she rebuked. Yu Fan always had been a little oafish, so Chen Zhi Yan knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before Yu Fan did something crazy, like... start chucking butterknifes at her or something. Soon afterward, he gripped his mystic cold flame flower tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

Yu Fan looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Chen Zhi Yan. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame six days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly she felt a tinge of concern for Chen Zhi Yan. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. Yu Fan walked over to the window and looked down. Chen Zhi Yan was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Chen Zhi Yan was struggling to make his way through the cornfield behind Yu Fan's place. Chen Zhi Yan had severely hurt his neck during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral rabbits suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the mystic cold flame flower. One by one they latched on to Chen Zhi Yan. Already weakened from his injury, Chen Zhi Yan yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of rabbits running off with his mystic cold flame flower.

But then God came down with His clever smile and restored Chen Zhi Yan's mystic cold flame flower. Feeling relieved, God smote the rabbits for their injustice. Then He got in His Viper and bolted away with the fortitude of 11,000 koalas running from a enlarged pack of bunnies. Chen Zhi Yan stumbled with joy when he saw this. His mystic cold flame flower was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in ten minutes his favorite TV show, black fish, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When otters meet contraceptive'). Chen Zhi Yan was contented. And so, everyone except Yu Fan and a few ebola-toting otters lived blissfully happy, forever after.


*** L337 Story Generator v1.0
*** Written by Derek Clark. Copyright © www.the-elite.net ~ 2004-present
*** Forever pwning with earnest.

somehow i feel like this gen is trolling me cuz it uses the hated tv show as the mc's favourite.... on a side note i dont think modern setting works so well with these sorts of stories....

 

Is anyone else reminded of Mad Libs when they read these? Or am I just dating myself?

 

Two Noble Uncles Smiling yet not smiling to the Beat
A Short Story
by M. M. Silver-Gunblade

Spoiler

Darth Bishop had always loved magical Mt.Tai with its cool, courageous cliffs. It was a place where he felt bloodthirst.

He was a Calm, generous, tea drinker with wide fingernails and tall eyebrows. His friends saw him as an aggressive, ashamed Asura. Once, he had even helped a wandering cute things cross the road. That's the sort of man he was.

Darth walked over to the window and reflected on his dull surroundings. The cold wind teased like shouting lions.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Dick Hemingway. Dick was a violent god with fluffy fingernails and solid eyebrows.

Darth gulped. He was not prepared for Dick.

As Darth stepped outside and Dick came closer, he could see the terrible glint in her eye.

Dick gazed with the affection of 8490 wild silly snakes. She said, in hushed tones, "I love you and I want a hug."

Darth looked back, even more ecstatic and still fingering the silver Sword. "Dick, I'll avenge my family," he replied.

They looked at each other with Furious feelings, like two better, boiling bears rampaging at a very cold-blooded Family murder, which had death metal music playing in the background and two noble uncles Smiling yet not smiling to the beat.

Suddenly, Dick lunged forward and tried to punch Darth in the face. Quickly, Darth grabbed the silver Sword and brought it down on Dick's skull.

Dick's fluffy fingernails trembled and her solid eyebrows wobbled. She looked stressed, her emotions raw like a breezy, boiling banana.

Then she let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Dick Hemingway was dead.

Darth Bishop went back inside and made himself a nice cup of tea.

THE END

This is a masterpiece

 

masterpiece indeed..... *spasms on ground* cant breath..... and my face hurts.... cant.. stop... smiling while emptying my lungs of oxygen........


mmmm though for some reason it seems everyone who used this gen has "2 uncles" and "to the beat" in the title.....

 

Creepy Old Man Shouts ????????????

"Mmmmm"

"Get off me! You pervert!"

"Don't wanna.....so fragrant"

A 1.75 tall young man says as he pushes down a girl. The girl has dark glossy hair with a bob hair cut. Right now, these two are fighting(arguing) with each other in public, or what others would call it from the sideline, flirting.

"You bastard! Don't you already have a girlfriend!" the young woman anxiously said as she blushed.

"Yes..... but I don't want just one woman, I want all! I'm a greedy and a selfish person babe!" the young mane excitedly said as he kissed her soft red lips.

"Mphf" The young woman wanted to push the young man away, well tried. But the strength in her arms gradually faded away she immersed herself in pleasure.

As the young man and woman were making out, An old man suddenly appears from the sidelines. He looked at those 2 with a mysterious glint in his eyes. A mischievous smile appeared at the same time, but quickly disappeared. The old man had a hunched back and looked incredibly frail with his body that was as thin as a match. He also held a wooden cane as support.

"Gomu Gomu Gomu......looks so yummy.....ehehehehehe" The old man laughed aloud.

The crowd had already grown tired of this make out scene were about to leave, except for those who ere blushing. They suddenly saw a crazy weak looking old man laughing creepily. The old man's laugh so crazy, creepy and loud that the 2 who were making out felt disturbed and so was the crowd.

"Shut up you old fucking dog!"

The young man yelled out loud in rage. The young man was about to take it to the next level suddenly stopped and was infuriated because his dick just went up and can't go down unless he masturbates or has sex.

"Huh!? What did you say brat! Your courting death!

.....................................

Just wrote it on the spot, some bad language and modern setting.....and yeah, I had to put "you court death" part.

 

わ

 

Lei Zhou looked at the Dead Sword in his hands and felt Spitting blood.

He walked over to the window and reflected on his GIANT surroundings. He had always loved Unfathomable Vermillion gold continent with its motionless, misty Mt Tai. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel Spitting blood.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Xiao Yuyin. Xiao was a Twofaced Heavenly sent goddess with skin of white jade and black hair flowing like the blackened sky with Missing a head Lower half and Vicious Dantian.

Lei gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a Cruel, Savage, Human blood drinker with Perfect Lower half and Refined by the heavens Dantian. His friends saw him as a curved, creepy Chu feng. Once, he had even jumped into a river and saved a teeny Loli.

But not even a Cruel person who had once jumped into a river and saved a teeny Loli, was prepared for what Xiao had in store today.

The Raining fire and brimstone teased like Rampaging Tyrant level spirit beast, making Lei Lust.

As Lei stepped outside and Xiao came closer, he could see the wonderful smile on her face.

Xiao gazed with the affection of 9545 Murderous mammoth Mother in law. She said, in hushed tones, "I love you and I want Extremely hot and wild sex for no apparent reason."

Lei looked back, even more Lust and still fingering the Dead Sword. "Xiao, I married you to further enhance my narcissistic desires and ideals," he replied.

They looked at each other with Courting death feelings, like two giant, graceful God eater rat Massacreing at a very Shameless National massacre day, which had The sound of swords clashing music playing in the background and two uncles Death to the beat.

Lei regarded Xiao's Missing a head Lower half and Vicious Dantian. "I feel the same way!" revealed Lei with a delighted grin.

Xiao looked Anger, her emotions blushing like a vacant, vague Very large sword.

Then Xiao came inside for a nice drink of Human blood.