Discussion I really wish people would mind their own business

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by teargrants, Jan 22, 2020.

  1. teargrants

    teargrants Well-Known Member

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    i was gonna go into a huge rant but i'll do a tldr - u don't know what ppl are going through so stop telling people sh*t like "smile, it's not bad". it's annoying, insensitive and honestly stupid. life isn't great for everyone so keep ur unwanted dumb comments to urself. thanks.
     
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  2. UnGrave

    UnGrave ななひ~^^

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    smile, it's not bad
     
  3. BigBadBoi

    BigBadBoi Well-Known Member

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    smile, it's not bad
     
  4. aegis062

    aegis062 Chaotic Demon Emperor

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    SMILE, IT"S NOT BAD!!
     
  5. teargrants

    teargrants Well-Known Member

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    haha funee ecks dee so original
     
    Last edited: Jan 22, 2020
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  6. otaku31

    otaku31 Well-Known Member

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    download1111.jpg
     
    Last edited: Jan 22, 2020
  7. hmod

    hmod Well-Known Member

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    don't listen maybe?
     
  8. Ai chan

    Ai chan Queen of Yuri, Devourer of Traps, Thrusted Witch

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  9. Jiggy

    Jiggy I am JiggyliFAP~ the not fat anymore guy.

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    If it got into you then smile, its not bad.
     
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  10. Invisalats

    Invisalats The Bearded One

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    My life has been pretty horrible but I have never minded when people try to encourage or help even when it's misguided.

    When I broke down and left my job and my home about 7 or so years ago I just abandoned everything took what little I had in the bank and hopped towns and states. Life at that point was seriously hard but I felt free. Eventually I worked through things and went back home and reconnected with my friends and family and even though things have not improved really in most areas of my life they did improve in one area, my attitude towards everything, I no longer get super depressed or anxious and approach each day with either acceptance or subdued optimism.

    Maybe those people who tried to help me failed and maybe I just failed to listen but either way it didn't matter because as long as I remained in the same state of mind it would have been impossible to change anything.

    So do what's best for you, search however you want to search for that something that'll make things better. You never know when the scales will tip towards a better life but you can know for certain it'll start solely through your own actions.
     
  11. Darkcrow.

    Darkcrow. Foul Tarnished

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    My dear old pal gives a perfect answer
     
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  12. I Ship anything cute

    I Ship anything cute [Chaos Twin :3] [Melo fanclub member]

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    I thought it was gonna be “mind your manners” lol
     
  13. CarmineCalico

    CarmineCalico Well-Known Member

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    I don't know if you are ranting about your experiences or your observations, but here is my take (as an un-involved, un-interested party):

    If the person telling you "smile, it's not bad" -- or any other meaningless platitude -- is someone you know, you can tell them that you appreciate that they are trying to cheer you up and support you, but right now, you just want them to just listen without suggestions or that you just need some time alone to figure things out. And to please not say such things, as well-meaning as they might be. If you are not in a place where you can calmly tell them this, then just nod, and change the topic or excuse yourself.

    And if the person telling you this is a stranger or acquaintance... then sorry, you are just gonna have to ignore them if it irks you. And listen to the rational part of your brain telling you that they probably mean well and are not trying to annoy or irritate you.
     
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  14. Cutter Masterson

    Cutter Masterson Well-Known Super-Soldier

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    That happens all to often. People saying “I feel your pain” or some nonsense like “In my experience”.

    Most times people will never understand. Most times people just want others to listen and not actually give advice. Just friendly ear is all they wanted.
     
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  15. Kadmos1

    Kadmos1 Well-Known Member

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    If people were minding their own business, you would got any responses to your opening post, right?
     
  16. mir

    mir Well-Known Member

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    I've done that alot, saying "In my experience" but when I have said that, it was shorthand for:
    "Hey, I am not going through the same thing, so I can't truly understand. But here is the closest comparable experience I have from my past, and if you think it's similar enough to your present to possibly be useful, then here is what I think may help you...", so I wasn't doing it to talk about myself and ignore the person, it's just the only thing I knew how to do to help. People just wanting someone to listen is something I didn't get for a long time. The way my mind worked was "oh, there is a problem? step 1: figure out how to fix it. step 2: fix it." I always used to try to find solutions first, even if it was just someone wanting to complain. Which is odd, since I could figure out that sort of thing if it was about someone else, but whenever I got in those situations, I just didn't.
     
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  17. Cutter Masterson

    Cutter Masterson Well-Known Super-Soldier

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    @mir are you sure your a girl because that’s a very guy answer.

    I can’t tell you how many times I wish I just kept quiet and just listen. It would have save so much grief in the end.
     
  18. mir

    mir Well-Known Member

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    *double-checks* Yep, I'm a girl, still bleeding and everything. I was never particularly girly though, so maybe that has something to do with it..

    Yeah, I regret too. But I was generally very quiet, so instead of regretting not being quiet, I regret not doing things right when I did speak up. There were friends I had who got frustrated because I wasn't matching their wish to have someone just listen. One who even yelled 'you don't understand!' and ran out of the room, very literally. She was dramatic alot of the time, so it wasn't as crazy as it sounds, but I still regret it alot. It was after that that I started figuring out that my way of thinking wasn't right.
     
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  19. Cutter Masterson

    Cutter Masterson Well-Known Super-Soldier

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    Thanks for the visual. That made my day oh so much better. NOT!
    Anyway I’m glad you are who you are. Town boy and all. If you wore glasses and love guns. I’d be in real trouble, especially if you we’re into cosplay.

    As to the grief of others. Once you try sympathizers with others. It can get pretty dark and deep real quick. Personally the reason (not the only reason) I don’t do drugs or smoke cigarettes. Is the same reason I don’t get into the drama. It’s because I’m lazy. All those things would be a hassle to deal with. Especially over time and once you add in the crazy person factor. I’m just glade not having to deal with it.
     
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  20. blues86

    blues86 [Pickle's numba wan follower]

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    I have similar experience with you. I used to hate people telling to cheer up, smile and so on. Then just like you, I left my job, took my savings and the next day I already in a new place. Later when I decided to came back, nothing change but I am the one who change. I can see that they just trying to help. Maybe not all of them. But I try to take the positive thing and ignore others. Now, whenever people tell me to smile, I will try to listen them. Will I smile or not that's my decision.

    Your way of thinking is okay. You remind me of my friend. She is also a girl. Sometimes I also get frustrated when she can't just listen my story, but I admire her. I love her optimism in life and how she won't let a problem keep her down. 'Figuring out the problem then fix it' that's her favorite quote.
     
    Last edited: Jan 22, 2020
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