Resolved I think my friend likes me, need help, urgent

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Leisheng, May 20, 2022.

  1. Leisheng

    Leisheng Well-Known Member

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    So i have this friend ive know for like 3 years now and 2 years of it is quarantine where we barely saw each other because theyre outside the city where we have school and in that one year before quarantine started weve only known each other for like a few months and they abruptly kissed my cheek once.. We are both the same gender and i am into the opposite gender.. Then i was weirded out and secretly wiped my cheek IM SORRY IM A LITTLE BIT INTO CLEANLINESS so after that they never did that again which was a relief. Then during quarantine they chatted me thru social media and sent a photo of a hand connected to an IV drip that im pretty sure they got from tiktok to prank me, but i believed the photo since it looked similar to their build and then i asked them what happened they told me that they had a HUGE stomach ache and they fainted and their parents only found that they fainted after a day?? And then she said she puked then had a headache there were tons of inconsistency in their story it was full of loopholes then they proposed to call so i accepted and their voice really did sound like they were crying, they kept saying they felt like she are dying which was another inconsistency they were dramatic enough to say goodbye like she was really dying and then she made me tell her i love you on the call which i did cuz i felt bad but then she laughed and said ITS A PRANK which really REALLY pissed me off because i do NOT like saying i love you to anyone other than my parents. So that was that after that we didnt talk for a while, i didnt tell them i was pissed about that prank though so she doesnt know.
    Then recently we hung out To go at a carnival and i wore a skirt(do not ask me ive never went to a carnival before) and i felt like she at that time did not give off the feeling that she liked me so we talked normally, we hung out for like two hours at a park walking around to digest and she keeps saying there are LOTS of couples and i asked how can you tell? She said its bc they were holding hands and at the time she was also holding my hand so i subtly let go of the hand she was holding pretending i was opening my bag or something to not make it awkward.
    And then when we got to the carnival And rode the rides we first rode viking i wasnt scared at first because ive ridden it once and it wasnt that high so i didnt feel scared but this one was LITERALLY SO HIGH MY BODY WAS FLOATING IN THE AIR then we rode on the frisbee cuz she wanted to, i thought that ride was gonna be like slowly bring you up then goes down abruptly and its done but no, it was similar to the viking one i held on for dear life because, again i floated and after both rides when i got down i was literally trembling my legs my hands were trembling.. So after that like something happened a while after playing and she kissed my cheeck AGAIN good thing we wore masks now so she kissed my mask with her mask but its really awkward i really hate getting THAT touchy feely with people that arent my parents brcause its weird for me and i dont know how to tell her i dont like her kissing my cheek like holding hands is barely okay but she starts to kiss my cheeks too then i.. I dont know what ill do but yes, and then now today she said i love you to me three times i dont think she is a touchy feely type of person to her friends either so i assume she likes me. If you want to ask me why i would assume that since its not what a normal person would this its because, people at our school are very open there r tons of lesbian couples i never see gay couples though but there are indeed gay people i know at school which is why i would arrive at this conclusion.

    So i have THREE problmes
    1) she is my only friend right now because.. Quarantine and i didnt communicate much with people i know in person since i really dont like going out much so she is technically my only friend to hang out with
    2) she says i love you alot and might kiss my cheeks more in the future which i really do not want so i do not know how i would solve that i cant always NOT say i love you back right?? Itll eventually be awkward
    3) i am not into the same gender (╥﹏╥) What Should i do if she ends up confessing..

    I actually have online friends that i can confide this with but they dont understand my situation much :blobpensive: so i am asking here. I went off in a ramble thank you for reading please help me :blob_teary:
     
  2. Shizun

    Shizun 《Jack of all trades》《Artist/Author》《Dao of BLedia》

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    i ignored everything after the prank call and that already says everything.
     
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  3. Leisheng

    Leisheng Well-Known Member

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    What does it say (╥﹏╥) i dont undeerstand what you meam :blobdizzy:
     
  4. Accismus

    Accismus Icarus

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    1. Tell her openly you don't like being kissed by anyone other than your parents. This would make her back away a little bit.
    2. If you want to be subtle then gush over a few male artist in front of them. It would give them an idea.
    3. Another way is somehow (usually during t and d or similar game) bring up matter of crush and say how you have a crush on this guy .
    4. The prank was plain ...how do I say this evil and wrong?
     
  5. Leisheng

    Leisheng Well-Known Member

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    The prank was really evil because it was outside my comfort zone :blobsad:
     
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  6. Accismus

    Accismus Icarus

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    And it was also wrong in way that it was emotional manipulation. This is the stuff we read in novels and hate ML for (at least I do unless he's a yandere)
     
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  7. asampe_tae

    asampe_tae Well-Known Member

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    I'm with Blue Lavender. Slide it in a conversation that you're straight. You can also let her know you hate being touched that way. Be straight-forward. Goodluck
     
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  8. Leisheng

    Leisheng Well-Known Member

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    〒-〒but what if it turns out she didnt like me? Wouldnt that be awkward, i tend to overthink things :notlikeblob:
     
  9. Rayleigh

    Rayleigh Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]
    Jk, happened to me once before lol, just be straightforward. Do it when you don't feel uncomfortable so it won't be awkward.
     
  10. Nightow1

    Nightow1 Well-Known Member

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    There are many different kinds of "like". Just because you like someone or someone likes you does not mean you have to bonk the person, you just need to guide that "like" down into paths you are more comfortable with. After all, when a mother says she loves her child, it does not mean incest time, unless you're living in certain genres of hentai. English "love" and "like" are very limited, if you are a frequent church goer, you would have heard of the Greeks and their different words for love that differentiates them, like eros (erotic love, the love between 2 lovers), philios (the love between parents and child, this is the root word of filial piety) and agape (love between man and God).

    You're obviously not into eros with her and she obviously ain't a God, so guide your "like" down those lines instead of the kissy kind. Do what lovers will not do, like pat her on her head/rub her head or exchange shoes. Ask her about her "ideal husband" or play mundane games with her, things that don't scream "lover's time!!!". Treat her like a little sister and she'll start to see you as a sister rather than as a lover. Love is not all or nothing, you can be friends and love each other and not jump into the sack, nor do you have to kick away anyone that shows an interest in you. Gradients, not binary. Just something for you to think about.

    PS: For guys, if you are female, there can be a slight problem because, well, hormones. They WILL fantasize about you if they like you. Don't take it to heart, it's male biology making a monkey out of us. Just draw clear borders on how far you want to go with the relationship and don't get drunk. :whistle:
     
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  11. Leisheng

    Leisheng Well-Known Member

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    That seems like itll work... Idk why but i cant quite comprehend what you mean but it makes sense
    That makes sense! I dont want to drift apart from her and want to stay friends but i also dont want to go beyond friends so that really helps a bunch! :aww: thank you!!
     
  12. NoLongerTheSame

    NoLongerTheSame Well-Known Member

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    Uhhhh...
    So, it took you that long to realize. Oh wait, you don't realize it yet. Yeah, your friend likes you although I'm not sure if it's in a romantic way. One thing you didn't mention is whether you know if she has friends she's close with on her side, and if she's like this to them as well; or it can also be past tense. Whether she has or not will determine how you go about resolving this.
     
  13. BooklessBookworm

    BooklessBookworm Sensible Little Sister ꒰ঌ(⃔ ⌯' '⌯)⃕໒꒱

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    Uh, tbh, I think she likes you.
    I’m not that adequate in the romance department, but even as a straight girl who loves to hug and have physical(platonically) relationships with my friends, I’m not someone who can give out kisses so easily and especially so when the other person finds it uncomfortable. I’ve had situations where when thankful to someone else, I’ll go, “ah~ thank you so much~ I love you~” and in situations where the other person shows obvious discomfort, I change it up to “I appreciate you” so as to convey the same feeling in a way more appropriate for them.
    If you’re really unsure about whether they like you or not, show obvious discomfort when they do something you don’t like. Someone who doesn’t like you but appreciates you as a friend would understand and change the way they act to fit both of your needs. As for someone who does like you? I’ve never had any romances before, so, :blobsweat_2:
     
  14. NoLongerTheSame

    NoLongerTheSame Well-Known Member

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    Yeah, never get drunk with a guy/s around. No matter how close you are with that person. Take that coming from a guy myself.
     
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  15. Shizun

    Shizun 《Jack of all trades》《Artist/Author》《Dao of BLedia》

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    It means, in short, if i were you, i wouldve long forgotten that person. Ignored her. Cut ties
     
  16. Leisheng

    Leisheng Well-Known Member

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    I do know she has other close friends when we hung out recently and ate somewhere we coincidentally met her friend and her friend knew me while i didnt know them.. And i remember her telling me she sent my pocture to they group chat and they teased her about how she was lucky to have me because i always treat close friends so they talk about how she didnt need to spend money and stuff which does not seem like how one teases a friends friend

    I did do that but when i subtly act uncomfortable so she gets the hint, there are two situations, she deliberately ignores it or she doesnt understand
    Oh i do that to people i dont really know but shes currently my only best friend π_π
    Dont worry i dont drink :blobokhand: thank you for the warning though i appreciate it :blobsmilehappyeyes:
     
  17. myfakeaccount

    myfakeaccount Well-Known Member

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    I think you should just forget about the fact if she likes you or not. I think the first thing you need to do is set boundaries and trying to put it in mid convo that you don't like being kissed on the cheek and also maybe gush over guys like someone else suggested.

    If they start to distance from you after you do this, then its most likely that they like you but I honestly feel that it is better to establish boundaries than probably leading them on. Also, I really don't like their "prank". Anyway, Next time if they come to kiss you on the cheek, just evade it. Many people won't ask why and will usually get the idea you are not comfortable with it.

    Also, if someone says that there are many couples in a place because they are holding hands and you also happen to hold hands with them at that moment, they most likely giving you suggestions. I have a feeling that you friend is trying to "bend" you in a way, so yeah.
     
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  18. Tarara

    Tarara Well-Known Member

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    I'm not going to address the prank too much as you said she's your only friend at the moment due to covid. I would tell you to start looking for new friends who wouldn't emotionally manipulate you because that is not ok. I hope you addressed that with her so that she knows never to do something like that again.

    Based on what you said, in my opinion she likes you and is trying to feel you out (see how comfortable you are with physical touch, holding hands, kissing cheeks, ect). She is also addressing couples hold hands, linking your actions to the behaviour of couples. Maybe she's afraid to confess or is trying to see how you feel so that she can deny her feelings if she knows they won't be reciprocated.

    You're obviously uncomfortable. You need to tell her that you feel uncomfortable with being overly touchy unless it's your parents. Tell her you're straight so even though you're friends you don't feel comfortable kissing on the cheek.
    You need to set boundaries and only by being communicating will that happen.
     
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  19. Leisheng

    Leisheng Well-Known Member

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    I did tell them once mid convo that i didnt like when they kissed my cheek the first time but she threw the topic off by saying really? I dont remember that
    her kissing my cheek recently was very unexpected i didnt see it coming so i couldnt evade it in time like we were literally mid talking and she suddenly kissed my cheek
    I think they really are trying to bend me because once she talked about GL novels and i said that i tried it once and felt uncomfortable reading it so after one chapter i dropped it and she said maybe its the book i read..

    i really did find new friends but they are all online friends and we do not live in the same country and all my friends that arent that close we barely communicate after quarantine, i wanted to find a new friend after that school year bc we most likely wont end up being classmates again but then quarantine happened so i didnt find new friends
     
  20. Tarara

    Tarara Well-Known Member

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    You need to sit down and have a proper conversation. If she tries changing the topic or saying she doesn't remember doing it, tell her it's something that makes you uncomfortable and you want her to know in the future not to do it.

    If she doesn't change you need to drop her. Sounds harsh but she's not respecting your boundaries and she probably isn't that great it she said all those lies (the "prank").

    Try reaching out to friends who you've lost contact/stopped communicating with. It might feel awkward but it's worth it plus they might love to hear from you/meet up. They're probably experiencing the same thing. A lot of people have distanced over covid, I've done the same where I've sent them a message saying "hi, it's been a while, how have you been?"
     
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