Discussion I'm 19 and my parents want me to get married

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by AneeChan, Jun 5, 2021.

  1. AneeChan

    AneeChan Active Member

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    As absurd as it may seem I'm technically a highschool student as of now and am completely dependent on my parents though I'm an adult (Because that's how the school system works in my country) and while my entrance exams are a few months away my parents have begun to look for marriage proposals. :notlikeblob:What am I gonna do??? I'm absolutely not ready for marriage and don't think I ever will. They want me to get married by next year and I'm terrified of refusing them. I'm not economically independent and thus have to rely on them for the time being. What if they shun and disown me? But I'm absolutely ready now because my career and life quality are my priorities atm. Any tips to resolve/pacify this situation???:blob_teary:
    As you might have guessed I'm an asian so things are pretty frigid with my parents *sobs*
     
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  2. Lissi

    Lissi 『Queen of Lissidom』『Holy Chibi』『Western Birdy』『⚓』

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    19 is so young???

    How can they expect you to go into an arranged marriage when you're in high school and can't even support yourself?? :blobfearful:
     
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  3. AneeChan

    AneeChan Active Member

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    Ikr.. but the "standard" marriage age range is between 20-24 or some shit and they want me to marry huhu *Cries*
     
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  4. SylviaViolet

    SylviaViolet The Sheepiest Sheep to Ever Sheep!

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    They are your parents. Don't overthink things. Sit down with them and tell them your priorities. I'm sure no parent would refuse when they are asked by their daughter that she wants to focus on her studies. Tell them that you feel it's too early and everything else that you can think of for why you don't want to get married now.

    Although I don't know your parents, no parent will disown their daughter for stating her views.
     
  5. Westeller

    Westeller mochi mochi Staff Member

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    GoFundMe? :blobpeek:

    Where do you even look for marriage proposals. 's so odd. Is there a marketplace? A catalogue? Do you pick it up at the neighborhood market? ... Arranged marriages are odd. Parents are odd.
     
  6. SylviaViolet

    SylviaViolet The Sheepiest Sheep to Ever Sheep!

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    I agree on this one! Arranged marriages are really odd, but I had a discussion with a few Asian people recently and they made it seem so reasonable lol.
     
  7. AneeChan

    AneeChan Active Member

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    I...I'm pretty sure they wouldn't listen but I'll try. Thank you!!:sweating_profusely:
     
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  8. otaku31

    otaku31 Well-Known Member

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    Let them know what you just confessed here. If you don't broach the topic or voice your opinions, how are they supposed to know what you think? And if they are typical Asian parents, they won't kick you out.
     
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  9. SylviaViolet

    SylviaViolet The Sheepiest Sheep to Ever Sheep!

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    They might not listen but you have to try right? It definitely won't hurt you to talk to them. Also, if you can, organize yourself with exactly what you want to say before going to talk to them.
     
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  10. AneeChan

    AneeChan Active Member

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    I'm not allowed to date or find my own partner and arrange marriage is the only option they gave me for a chance at relationship
     
  11. SylviaViolet

    SylviaViolet The Sheepiest Sheep to Ever Sheep!

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    No I wasn't talking about your situation here. I understand that it might be the only option you have, but delaying it a few years won't hurt anyone and will make you happy. That seems like a very reasonable thing to do in my opinion.
     
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  12. AneeChan

    AneeChan Active Member

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    Oh okay, I'll keep those things in mind. Thank you, I've been a complete mess ever since I heard the news but now I seem to be gaining some clarity:blobReach:

    I hope you're right!! Thanks for replying :bloblove:
     
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  13. Bad Storm

    Bad Storm »Hey, this is a story I hate«

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    Some families do arrange marriage even in this age, it's not that strange. But the most important thing is be open with your likes and dislikes. It would be quite a sad story if you choose someone you're not compatible with even if it's an arranged marriage. And i know it may be a bit strange but don't just close off the possibility yet. Treat it like a chance to date someone haha. Your parents won't want something bad to happen to you and would choose carefully. Talk to them.
     
    Last edited: Jun 5, 2021
  14. daisukenowaifu

    daisukenowaifu Sleeping Philanthropist | Everyone's Unnie

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    I hope your parents are talking about arranged marriage not forced. I think you should start looking into making multiple sources of income; it is never good to depend on someone or even one source of money. Calmly sitting down and talking with them about this might work. Arguing would only worsen the situation, so remember to stay polite.

    And when you go on those dates (now or in the future), make sure you can spend time with the other person and talk about the wants, preferences and goals.

    I really hope all goes well for you, because my parents constantly joke about this. I really don't know what I would do if they actually go through with it. As much as I love romance, thinking about being in an relationship is nauseating.
    Matrimony websites:blobsob: Matchmaking centers:blobsob: Jobless aunties:blobsob:
    They focus on the height, birth date, horoscope, relatives, criminal record, smoking/drinking habits. Oh... I seemed to have forgotten, the occupation and monthly income, including apartments and cars.
     
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  15. AneeChan

    AneeChan Active Member

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    I hope you're right!! Thanks for replying
    Lmao you took the words out of my mouth. Thank you for being so supportive :bloblove: I'm grateful for all the advice :blobReach:
     
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  16. Raven Evernight

    Raven Evernight You cared but only when it was too late ⚓️

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    Get fake engagement with someone you trust drag it out till you are free from there control then break up and anytime they bring up marriage say your still not over your ex
     
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  17. AneeChan

    AneeChan Active Member

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    Ah yes I've been investigating some passive income streams but can't actually execute anything because of my entrance examination and I'm planning on getting my degree part time with a fulltime job somewhere (Highschool diplomas are quite invaluable here and is fulfills the adequacy for a stanke job). I'll make sure I'd follow the date tips to the T.:blobReach:
    Also your nuance of arrange marriage is so eerily accurate that I nearly threw up rainbows lol:blobdizzy: THANKS FOR THE ADVICE:bloblove:

    Lol, getting a fake engagement is good enuf for me to get disowned :blobjoy:
     
  18. ongoingwhy

    ongoingwhy Pomu

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    You must be really young and grew up in a good family if you think this way. :blobpeek: Sorry but there are loads of trashy parents out there, disowning a child is insignificant compared to some of the things that some people have done to their children. :sweating_profusely:
     
  19. daisukenowaifu

    daisukenowaifu Sleeping Philanthropist | Everyone's Unnie

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    I think you should try your hand at investing. I found this book to be fantastic. And I am tearing up reading this. Hey, all will be well, ok? There is nothing to fear, there will always be a way to solve it. Life is beautiful, you know? Anyway, *hugs tightly*

    People tend to forget that relationships aren't meant to make you happy. It's about compatiblity, love, understanding and creating an everlasting union, so never let your happiness depend on someone else.

    You are such a cutie. Stay cheeki breeki.

    Almost sounds like the beginning of a josei manga plot.
     
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  20. FIEND

    FIEND sex god

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    Are u from the middle east or indian subcontinent?

    ?? U dont know asian esp middle eastern and indian subcontinent parents can get batshit

    Op the most u can do is argue and try convincing them. If you dont agree they will not be able to force urhand
    If u guilt trip ur self into agreeing ur fucked. Try to apply to colleges and tell them u will get married after a degree etc. If anything talk to ur irl friends and get support.