Discussion In regards to, pronouns.

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Arrynne, Mar 26, 2021.

  1. Arrynne

    Arrynne 『Bubo scandiacus』『Owl in NEED of Saving』

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    I'm genuinely curious:

    So the internet is broadly anonymous community and with user tags that are usually unreliable on guessing the gender of the person behind the screen.

    My question is if someone calls you the incorrect pronoun for your gender of choice or you just generally just liked to be referred as them, do you correct the person or just let it be?

    Because just earlier I was in a conference call with some people and a 'karen', I had my cam off and my user tag is simply 'Arry' so the host kept referring to me with male pronouns I really didn't mind being referred to with male pronouns not that it mattered with the ongoing conversation.

    So obviously because I had a high pitched voice it became obvious that I was a girl, but the host kept referring to me as him.

    For some reason this woman got offended in my behalf. First, she was being subtle about it referring to me as Miss Arry, then the second time she called out the host the third time she officially disrupted the discussion to correct everyone who refers to me as 'him'.

    Well, I kindly told her that I didn't mind being referred to with male pronouns and from there she became borderline something else and gave not so nice remarks.

    I honestly don't think identify as anything other than a girl but I'm not straight either, to those who are curious
    I'm pansexual, yes, I'm not actually an owl.
    . But since this is the internet, I don't really mind being referred to with a different pronoun. I don't really mind being incorrectly called a different pronoun in real life.
     
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  2. LK

    LK Well-Known Member

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    Just don't care, may correct if I feel like it or they ask.
     
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  3. UnGrave

    UnGrave I really like Nanahira

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    I usually chuckle when people think I'm a girl. I'll correct them sometimes if I need to, other times (if it's genuinely inconsequential) I'll leave it. No need to bring it up if you're in a large group conversation after all.
     
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  4. Killgore

    Killgore Someone who should start studying

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    I generally use Killgore everywhere and I have indeed been referred to as male. it doesn't bother me much because its only a one time thing and nobody will even remember it later.
     
  5. haguruma

    haguruma Well-Known Member

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    Honestly on the internet chances are people just made a spelling mistake or aren't that familiar with the English language. As for in real life I don't really care. Then again I'm not part of the lgbtq+ and I'm a guy. Tho I do believe that if I was I probably still wouldn't give a shit what some random person on the internet mistakenly referred to me as. People don't tend to maliciously mistake pronouns and if they do you probably don't want to have anything to do with them anyway.
     
  6. melomarl

    melomarl Azathoth's Spawn | Faceless

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    If I cared, I would just say the correct word. But I don't so I'll let it be. As for the other person getting angry on my behalf, I'd prolly treat it as a nuisance.
     
  7. Saorihirai

    Saorihirai Well-Known Member

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    so since covid hit and everything is basically online, a lot of my classes have group chats and whatnot. And for some reason, Idk if it's the way I talk, people always mistake me as a guy. I don't really mind or care but if they ask I'll clarify. Same with the internet, it isn't something I really care about. just wtv I guess.
     
  8. asriu

    asriu fu~ fu~ fu~

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    depend
    most time just roll along cuz it not serious stuff~
    well based on this cat experience on serious occasion on forum or forum format we call each other name directly,
    @asriu is dumb, @asriu is crazy
    there more concern on topic rather than pronouns of he, she, it or whatever
     
  9. Walter vi Britannia

    Walter vi Britannia Well-Known Member

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    No, but if someone says "he or she" when referring to me I'll always wonder what the fuck made them think someone named Walter might be a she?
     
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  10. Macrendil Ysmir

    Macrendil Ysmir Well-Known Member

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    Well, usually, people don't walk around with a sign saying "I am a he/she/it". And it shouldn't be another person's problem if he/she makes an assumption that doesn't fit the other's mindset. Keyword being "mind"set. We're visual creatures, not psychics. Sure, you can correct someone if they are wrong, but getting addressed with the wrong pronoun by strangers isn't cause for (verbal) assault.

    And the idea of 'preferred' pronouns, well sorry but just to be crude: if a human body that's supposed to have breasts, has breast I call it a she/her. If it has facial hair. broad shoulders and a low voice I call it a he/him. And sorry again, but if I see someone with a beard wearing a dress and there is no dress-up festival going on, I'll give that person a wide berth.
     
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  11. asriu

    asriu fu~ fu~ fu~

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    cuz there weird parent who give their children weird names beyond comprehension beside it sound cool
    such as female have male sound names or vice versa which not so rare occasions
    talk less if its username
     
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  12. Sabruness

    Sabruness Cultured Yuri Connoisseur

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    i've only been mistaken for a girl once. Dont even know why they assumed that it was jokingly cleared and no biggie. Apart from that, it never really comes up
     
  13. Chrono Vlad

    Chrono Vlad 『Banned From Drinking』

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    On the Internet, nobody knows you're a lurking Eldritch :blobpeek:
     
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  14. MMWO

    MMWO Well-Known Member

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    I don't care if they got my pronouns wrong on the internet
     
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  15. Arrynne

    Arrynne 『Bubo scandiacus』『Owl in NEED of Saving』

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    Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised.

    I have a male friend who's name is spelled as Alaine.
    ALLAN

    Parents have a weird naming sense.
     
  16. Anra7777

    Anra7777 All powerful magic grammar hamster queen pirate.

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    I’ve always been a literal minded person, so yes, being misgendered bothers me a lot. I don’t mind being referred to as “them,” but do not refer to me as “he,” or I will try to correct you. Only time I don’t care is if I’m playing a male presenting character and I’m not friendly enough with the person to tell them my true gender or I’m keeping it hidden for the lols. But I’ve had people look at my username (ends with feminine “a”), look at my profile which clearly says “female,” look at my title which says “queen,” and then proceed to refer to me as he/him.
     
    Last edited: Mar 26, 2021
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  17. Fulminata

    Fulminata Typo-ist | Slave of Evil Inc. | Cactus Farmer

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    Honestly, typing emails in english, french, or other languages with a distinct gender differences makes me kinda stressed sometimes!
    I mean, i don't want to assume their genders and i don't want to come off as disrespectful...but on the other hand, what should i type in the "Dear, ....." part, or when discussing a third person of yet-determined gender? So i settled on their last name instead and "them".. Is it proper?
    There's no gender distinction in pronouns on my mother tongue. It's a completely neutral term. So this concept sometimes comes as a bit confusing to me :sweating_profusely:.

    Secondly, the real answer! :cookie:
    I guess, I'll correct them if that's the norm. But I'm actually genuinely confused..Is there a more neutral term that makes one gender irrelevant, yet acceptable and polite enough, in using pronouns in discussion? Or is there a significant cultural importance between gender and pronouns, so that they can hardly be separated?
     
    Last edited: Mar 26, 2021
  18. Lissi

    Lissi 『Queen of Lissidom』『Holy Chibi』『Western Birdy』『⚓』

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    I personally want to be referred to as "she", and I'll politely correct people if they refer to me as a "he". It's not really a big issue though if they do refer to me as "he", and it seems strange to blow up about it (though I feel she did that with good intentions).
     
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  19. Bobasis

    Bobasis Give me waffles!! \o\/o/

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    I will politely tell them I’m a she . But I don’t care that much about it .
     
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  20. heromaniacs

    heromaniacs Active Member

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    you're right, not everyone has their pronouns put on display, i'll give you that. most people dont verbally assault anyone for incorrect pronouns, even if it was repeated. its only when its malicious that people have to start throwing their guard up and protect themselves.

    the rest was uncomfortable to read. a person with a beard can wear dresses, they can wear what they want. there are people who identify as women who have facial hair for religious reasons. if you call someone a certain set of pronouns by their appearance- whatever, unless they correct you. the concept of "preferred" pronouns is odd too. preferred insinuates that its not necessary a must- transgender people have to go through gender dysphoria and the least someone can do is respect their pronouns regardless of how they present. i use he/they/nor/she pronouns, period. there's no discussion of "i prefer them". it's "i use these pronouns, please respect them."

    the exception is made for neurodivergent people who can't understand understand neopronouns &/or gender that other people do- i would not expect them to refer to me as "nor", i would just ask of them to use the pronouns they can process and understand.

    personally, i feel like bc technically i use any pronouns, misgendering is pretty much impossible i might not care, since most people won't refer to me as "it". i do know that i have friends who need to use a certain set of pronouns in order to not feel even more dysphoria, and in that case, they would likely correct the person. if you're cis though, someone mis-identifying your gender is less of a problem because you have security in your gender.
     
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