Discussion Is Love the Same?

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Evil_Ginger, Oct 1, 2018.

?

Can love be the same, even when the genders are swapped?

  1. Yes.

    12 vote(s)
    35.3%
  2. No.

    11 vote(s)
    32.4%
  3. Yes, but only if I am allowed to have a potato harem.

    11 vote(s)
    32.4%
  1. Evil_Ginger

    Evil_Ginger 『Lawful Neutral』『Cheese Master』『安德鲁』

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    So...I don't really read BL/Yaoi stuff. I just don't. But I will read Yuri stuff. However, when I do, I tend to notice that in most, if not all the yuri i have read, that one of the two can be switched into a guy and it almost doesn't matter which of the two.

    For example, the illustrated novel Mage & Demon Queen, the Mage could be a perverted shonen hero. Or the Demon Queen could just be a socially awkward dude who feels responsible and mature.

    What I am getting at, is...

    Do you think most relationships can be rewritten into Straight/Gay/Lesbian/Other with almost no problem?

    Or do you inherently think that since it isn't straight love, then there has to be something different?

    And I am being honest here. I don't know, therefore I ask.
     
  2. Hotato

    Hotato Eternally Confused

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    Love is love so there is no gender difference and I think this is a stupid question.
     
  3. CripplingDepression

    CripplingDepression 『Professional Loli Appraiser』

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    Dear sir, are you perhaps high right now? :hmm:
     
  4. campfire

    campfire Well-Known Member

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    I think it transcends species, when your dog humps your leg.
     
  5. JadeWhiteSkin

    JadeWhiteSkin please rescue~

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    swapping genders is no problem in love. swapping sex would be bad though, not that it is possible in reality....
    In novels the problem is the ability of the author, if the author writes a lesb relationship as if its a straight one than yes you could just change the sex of the characters and nothing happens. Unlike in reality you have a limited amount of information in novels therefore the subtle differences that will have an effect in long term will not be able to be witnessed when the characters have a sexchange.
     
  6. Lazybum0

    Lazybum0 Cheers darlin'

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    I think there are many kind of loves , but it has more to do with the type of person than their gender or ,em , genitals.

    There's realationships that are short lived and sexual and free of compromises.
    There's the more conservative ones , where there's a need for possession of your partner , he or she is yours and you're not sharing.
    There's there modern ones where there is no such strong sense of possession and they can experiment "new things" from time to time.
    There's other kinds: polyamorous , harems and I'm sure there is some things that would surprise me. Anyway I think I'm , em, digressing?

    I think love is some kind of reasurance you look into your partner , but this can differ from person to person , some look for something stolid and solid , some for trust and comradeship , and some for adventure— that spark of creativity , sensuality and those kind of things.

    For the topic , yes , I think most relationships can be rewritten to whatever , with some minor adjustments.
     
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  7. Tilgarial

    Tilgarial [Chaos Tiger] [Paradox] [ded][Houseplant]

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    A relationship is between two people.
    People are always weird, and there might be things that fit one gender better than the other, but i dont think that there is anything that isnt possible at all.
    And as such, 'switching' a characters gender should not make much of a difference.
    Here i say should, as there are some things that are affected by gender. Like, a man always walking around topless or some such, would need some adjust slight adjustment.
    I kinda forgot where i wanted to go with this, so I'll just stop here.
     
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  8. Evil_Ginger

    Evil_Ginger 『Lawful Neutral』『Cheese Master』『安德鲁』

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    that is just the image. i can think a girl in a training bra would have the same effect.
     
  9. xluferx

    xluferx [The writer who writes for fun][Meme lord]

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    Ofc people have to voice long arguments that are more emotional rather than scientific.
    Is not love, but a hormonal reaction if there is a gender swap usually the gender swap stuff the guy or girl become a sexy girl or guy so their friends get attracted as a natural response like any of us would react if we encounter a very beautiful or handsome person. Attraction being the keyword here.
     
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  10. Meloman

    Meloman My dog is lazier than me

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    There is something “off” in your question but I’m not sure what.

    In novels I sort of agree with you. I read yaoi stuff, and I did notice that quite often one of the MC/MLs could be swapped for a female.

    But at the same time I tend to drop yaoi stories that have “overly feminine” male character. I sort of feel like “a man needs to be a man” - whatever that means in my brain.

    Stories at some point are based on real life, at least a tiny bit, I think. So as a real life example, in a straight (heterosexual) relationship if both partners were acting a little more like the opposite gender roles, then in my experience - sooner or later that relationship is likely to fail.

    Hence it’s probably similar to how readers in yuri/yaoi stories can portray the characters as a different gender to what the author has written, and it just feels a bit weird. I think.

    But in real life it’s not like a novel, you know? A novel is written through the experience of the author. Hence each author views their characters in their own way. An author can imagine what it would feel like in such and such situation but if they had not lived it personally- then it will probably not feel as “real” when it’s written or read. Not just relationships, but even death of a loved one, or taste of food etc.

    So it’s probably hard for a straight person write a proper homosexual romance. Or it could be hard for a person who has had many relationships and breakups to write a story of trust and everlasting love. Hence your feelings of swapping character gender when you are reading yuri novels is not wrong, as it was probably “unrealistically” written.

    Or we, in general, might have strong preconceptions of gender roles.
    Like it still feels weird when a woman works and man sits with a baby at home, even though it’s getting more popular in some countries now.
     
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  11. sal880612m

    sal880612m As I thought, love was a status effect! ~ICDS

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    It really isn't and treating it like it is, is a problem. A lot of issues can be solved by gaining an understanding, and you're spitting on someone who not only realized they might not know, but is making and effort to learn and grow. All too often when it comes to things like homo and hetero sexual and black and white and whatever and whatever else everyone focuses so much on how things are different that it gets all too easy to forget that just as much if not more is the same. It's one thing to be accepting of others differences, but it's another all together to understand them. Acceptance can be forced, understanding can't.

    Edit: Ask yourself this, why are you attracted to whichever gender you're attracted to.
     
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  12. Moonpearl

    Moonpearl Professional Yuri Girl ❀ [Yuri Garden Creator]

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    The love in "Mage & Demon Queen" doesn't have much to contextualise it in the story right now. Malori's love for Velverosa is only really known to her friend and the demons inside the tower, and the stigma of liking demons is all we know. It might turn out that gay relationships are completely accepted in that world but, if not, there's a big difference between having a straight pairing whose only barrier is human/demon relations, and a female/female pairing where they also have to contend with the challenges that typically face same gender couples.

    In stories where there's actually conflict surrounding their gender, switching them to a straight pairing might leave all sorts of plotholes or turn genuinely good story pacing into mush.
    In particular, gay couples are justified in taking a much longer time to realise if the other person likes them and getting together, as they might have to do the whole "Are they gay, or are they friendly?" dance. If they do that and you turn one into a man, they're just being needlessly slow.

    In terms of real life relationships... It's different. Putting aside the whole conflict with society and general angst that can come with it at times, being with a woman as a woman is different to being with a man.
    Female/male relationships have a lot of tradition and expectation behind them that can be really heavy baggage... Your boyfriend is expected to protect you and be assertive, and there's this shame around letting the woman be dominant, even for a little while. Sweeping a boyfriend off their feet therefore becomes so hard. It's much more fluid with a woman; sometimes she spoils me, sometimes I spoil her.

    There's also a difference in our interactions. Shopping dates are a real thing that we can both enjoy, and we can spray each others' perfumes on things to take home and keep as mementos. We can also borrow each other's makeup, or share clothes if you're the same size, and go with each other to public bathrooms to keep chatting while you touch up your makeup or whatever...
    You could do that if your boyfriend was really into perfume, makeup, and skirts and the like (not the bathroom bit, though). But then that's probably not what you were thinking about, right? And that would change the dynamic again.

    TL;DR: Love is the same but dynamics aren't.
     
    Last edited: Oct 1, 2018
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  13. Amaruna Myu

    Amaruna Myu ugly squid dokja (●´∀`●)

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    Yes. But generally, characters in novels are different from real life. I doubt you can find a harem of handsome guys that easily. The kind of all natural handsome rich guy
     
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  14. Cutter Masterson

    Cutter Masterson Well-Known Super-Soldier

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    Are you really asking us. What love is?


    Love can’t be quantified. It can be as simple as pie or complex as the universe. Can a person truly understand another person? We could experience the exact same event, but come away with two totally different stances. Empathicly speaking you may have an idea, but that’s like describing the colors of a painting without realizing the depth of the shading.
    Be the person straight, Bi or gay doesn’t matter to me. Have they hurt anyone in living their life to the fullest? A person should have the freedom and choice to decide who they wish to spend the rest of their life with.
    At least that’s what I think.
     
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  15. Hotato

    Hotato Eternally Confused

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    I didn't spit on their ignorance, I just think the question is stupid
    I guess I should state which to be specific
     
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  16. Evil_Ginger

    Evil_Ginger 『Lawful Neutral』『Cheese Master』『安德鲁』

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    kinda steppin toes there, huh? lol, i meant in novels but i am not changing the OP. more responses this way. :blobowoevil_horns:

    :blobpopcorn: Not what I came here for, but I'm willing to stay.

    Hmmm...i like your thinking. it is rational and something i can understand. i want the ship between best friend and lamia general to happen already, dammit! :blobhero:

    novels, anine, games, they are all fake and there is no way we can ever get that perfect image to ever come true. That is why we enjoy them, we escape from this boring life.
    I asked because I don't know love. I have a general concept of appreciating people like my family and friends, but when it comes to girls, all i ever do is crush on them hard in my mind. loving someone enough to marry them or live my life with them forever...i just dont get it unfortunately. :blobconfounded: (que the I Wanna Know What Love Is~~~)
    Yeah. i probably should have reworded it. But oh well. what exactly was wrong with it, might I ask?
     
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  17. DXHaseoXD

    DXHaseoXD [Forever Alone] [Person who tries to translate]

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    Where's my potato harem?
     
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  18. Hotato

    Hotato Eternally Confused

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    just the way the question is phrased and my idea that love is love
     
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  19. Evil_Ginger

    Evil_Ginger 『Lawful Neutral』『Cheese Master』『安德鲁』

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    The way I am coming from it, love is a relationship, thus there are also different types of love. Of course, as I stated above, this could be because I don't really know what love is. So when I called it 'straight' love, I meant it as the relationship between heterosexual people.

    Sorry if I confused you or sounded ignorant.
     
  20. Evil_Ginger

    Evil_Ginger 『Lawful Neutral』『Cheese Master』『安德鲁』

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    Potato+harem+_beab038084f6937a8249479e7611b336.png