Is prenuptial necessary?

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Tsukkin, Feb 9, 2020.

  1. Tsukkin

    Tsukkin [is currently lurking]

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    So i was reading about marriage thread somewhere here, and one of the member said that OP should get a prenup agreement or something b4 marriage. And i was like, is it really necessary?

    I know that ppl sometimes isn't fair, and nowadays we should be careful enough with our asset but imagine that your beloved partner mentioning a prenup b4 marriage, it somehow feels like umm..how do i put it...umm like there's a chance that you might split up for whatever reason in the future, it's just kinda sad.

    I honestly have mixed feeling for this thing, how about you?
    Oh fyi i'm not talking about super multimillion dollar conglomerate, i'm talking about us, the peasant lol.
     
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2020
  2. Zone Q11

    Zone Q11 『The Gas Mask』『Monochrome Plebeian』

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    Well, for those who believe that they will live happily ever after, it may not be necessary. However if you believe that "somehow" you might break up, then I believe that it is a rational choice.
     
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  3. UnGrave

    UnGrave I really like Nanahira

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    I probably wouldn't. I have confidence that even in the case of a divorce, I would still be able to resolve things fairly since I'm a reasonable person. As long as I get to keep my light novel collection, I'm good with anything.
     
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  4. otaku31

    otaku31 Well-Known Member

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    In two minds about prenup, but what I'm absolutely sure of is the necessity of a preen up before the wedding. :blobpeek:
     
  5. Sea Dog

    Sea Dog 『Rabid』『Mad Dog』

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    It being a touchy subject to address before marriage is, i think the reason most people don't. (That, or them just not being in a position to even think about getting one.) But i also kinda think that it's also the only reason not to get one. If you don't split up it'll never tome into effect and if you do 9 times out of 10 at least one of the parties involved would be glad to have had one in place before hand, while they where both on good turns and not out for blood.
     
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  6. Jaded

    Jaded Majoring in Erology

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    Necessary? No. But it's not a bad idea. No matter how much people love each other, there's no guarantee that you'll continue to be in a relation forever. Career choices, sexual incompatibility, differences in opinion, troublesome personality changes, etc... there are countless reasons for a divorce to happen. Prenups can reduce hassles in divorces, something that's stressful for both sides.

    That said, talking about a pre nup is definitely going to be... troublesome. In my country, if you bring up talks about a prenup, you'd probably be kicked out by the other side. Marriage is viewed as sacred, something I find ironic seeing that most people here get into arranged marriages and people treat getting finding a partner and married like a job... troublesome, stressful but inevitable.
     
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  7. ReadOrDie

    ReadOrDie already dead

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    When you have 10 houses you won't mind losing 5 but if you only have one. Then you're fked.
     
  8. YoriMei

    YoriMei (ㆁᴗㆁ✿)

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    It’s not “necessary” unless one is richer than the other or you’re famous. I do think it’s an idea to consider before marriage though. No one expects or wants to get divorced but the future can be unexpected and it helps smooth things along. For example a divorce is never going to go smoothly if one person was cheating on the other, it’ll just be tons of arguing and buying lawyers. If you never need it, great but if you do need it, it helps immensely.
     
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  9. Westeller

    Westeller [Maid] [Cat boy] [Girly] [Watchu Looking at?] Staff Member

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    I mean, a prenup is basically irrelevant for 99.9999% of relationships. Because you’re both dirt poor and there’s nothing to fight over. At least nothing significant enough to merit a prenup.

    Prenups are for when one of you is bringing a hell of a lot more to the table than another, and is basically an agreement saying that if you split up with them, you can’t take their shit with you. Nothin’ wrong with that - you weren’t entitled to any of it from the beginning.

    ...

    Please note that a prenup can’t get you out of messy things like child support.

    That may sound like a minor issue compared to your overall finances, but it isn’t. As an example, my sister in law’s home and living expenses are not paid for by her or her boyfriend, neither of whom work. Instead, they’re paid for by her ex-husband, after she cheated on him while he was overseas, serving in the Navy. And a prenup wouldn’t change anything.
     
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  10. Cutter Masterson

    Cutter Masterson Well-Known Super-Soldier

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    I agree. If you have money to burn be prepared. As to us regular Joe’s. What’s the point half of nothing is still nothing. Besides I’m not in to complicating my life and a prenup sounds like a hassle.
     
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  11. Kalto

    Kalto [Somewhat meticulous]

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    Whoever said that must have noticed something on their partner or is simply preparing for worse case scenario, like what if the partner decides to cheat and break up the marriage and the partner of the partner is someone with power (think of ntr, the original partner is unaware till things are too late) it would be good for the wronged person to get their stuff back when everything is over.
    A prenup might seem sad or wrong in this situation (before marriage) but hey, no one is sure what future is hiding for them, what seem like the perfect romantic relationship can easily be shattered if one of the 'lovers' decides it is time for 'more' for some reason
     
  12. ludagad

    ludagad Addicted to escapist novels

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    I say keep romance and finance separate. Definitely get a prenup, and this is coming from a woman. Mainly men get screwed hard in a divorce, but it's not unheard of for the woman to get the short end of the stick. So, get the prenup and agree on your assets first. Then feel free to struggle in the married life.
     
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  13. Zomula

    Zomula Well-Known Member

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    I would say a prenup is necessary. Nasty divorces can do a lot of damage to those involved (kids, friends, parents, and the involved parties), and a prenup can limit that. Of course no prenup is foolproof, but having clauses in it that prevent a former spouse from screwing you over during the divorce help a lot. Especially if you have clauses about cheating in it.

    I hate using this since it is based on what happened to someone I know, but it shows the danger of not having one. A caught B cheating and pregnant with another person's baby and A divorced B. Since they didn't have a prenup, and B was feeling vindictive, she refused to settle and started making up crap about how A was abandoning her. B got the house, car, and half the savings because the judge felt that she was the one that needed them more. After that she got custody of their kids because he hadn't found a new place to live yet, and she was the one with a house and transportation.
    You may be reasonable, but what if your partner isn't as "reasonable"? A lot of divorces can be nasty with one side or both not wanting the other to have anything.
     
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  14. Matteus

    Matteus [潜んでいる] [Com Fome]

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    Man, that's complicated. Think about a really long marriage (+10y) the structure of the family is that the man brings the money and the woman takes care of the kids and the house, then they divorce, the man is pretty fine because he has a job and experience but what about the woman? She invested 10y of her life in the family as a housewife and has no professional experience, she has no financial stability at all so in my opinion it's pretty fair for her to get at least the house or something.
     
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  15. Tsukkin

    Tsukkin [is currently lurking]

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    I mean umm how to discuss this with your partner in the first place? (Fyi not that i'll get married with anyone anytime soon lol my poor single dog heart wuwuwu QAQ)
    Like in my country it's quite rare to have a prenup especially when your fam/your partner's fam is quite an old-school conservative one?
     
  16. Boredgasm

    Boredgasm Well-Known Member

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    I’m surprised I had to scroll this far down before finding someone in favor of prenups. I 100% agree, and would definitely think to bring it up as soon as possible into conversation in a mature and clearly communicated way.
     
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  17. ludagad

    ludagad Addicted to escapist novels

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    This should come at the dating stage. Basically, you get together with a person who shares at least some of your values, not a total stranger, I hope. If it's someone you get along with and love, you can discuss the prenup before you even bring up marriage. If she/he doesn't agree to it, I'd rather leave that be and go for someone else or maybe live together and never marry them. A prenup is like a safety net you prepare before you dive into the marriage. If things don't work out for some reason - falling out of love, cheating, getting fed up with each other, etc, then at least you'd have made separating easier without financially burdening the other party. Also, the marriage might be a matter between two families, but the problems you gotta face will be left to you two alone - family not only doesn't help, they further complicate stuff when they meddle. So keep the prenup between you and the lawyers and treat the family with respect and the distance they deserve.
     
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  18. livorino

    livorino Well-Known Member

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    This is actually happening to my father right now. His girlfriend with whom he has 2 kids. Just suddenly left to her mothers house in the neighbouring country. This caused a ton of problems because he had to give it up as kidnapping. Before she left, they were actually ready to move to another house which was bought by the girlfriend. My father and me also put a lot of money and time into it because we had to complety renovate it. Imagine dissapearing with the kids, a couple of days before moving. Apparently she is going to sell the house, which also has our money into it. So yeah, people can be kind of disgusting.
     
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  19. Katsurandom

    Katsurandom [The One That Does Nothing][Villager C]

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    Its only necesarry if you have more assets than your partner, since lets be honest nowadays marriages last either 3 months, 3 years or 20 years.
     
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  20. Overclock

    Overclock Well-Known Member

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    It's not necessary, but damn it should be. Any man or woman who says no can't be trusted as a marriage partner. It's only stupid people "In Love" who think it'll be sunshine and rose being together will say it's a dumb idea, only to be surprised later with harsh reality if unlucky.

    How I see it you should marry for love and not financial security, so signing one is proof you love each other and not the others money.
     
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