Ranting a bit about mother, ok, I know I’m rude but just like how many more times do I have to endure her attitudes? And yes I’m complaining about her making excuses over many things...I want to take my exam form as early as possible from the ministry and yet she’s just like ‘I’ve many things to do..’ ok so what about before when she was free?? I’ve been asking her to accompany to get the form since the first time the date to take the form was announced. She just make up many excuses.. This isn’t just the only thing that boiled me to rage, she made up excuses about meeting grandmother, her mother. Not just me, my siblings also feel unsatisfied about her attitude..It’s just like, grandmother misses her so much and wanted to see her more often than before especially after my late grandfather has passed away like 2 weeks ago...Mother didn’t even come to my late grandfather’s 7th day of his death anniversary like how many more excuses does she have to come up??!! It’s like she doesn’t have the effort to meet her mother and her siblings, they’re looking forward to see her... well ya, she make up excuses like almost all the time which annoys me... Ok, since grandmother wanted to see her, I told mother if we could just drive for her so she won’t feel tired of driving and yet, she still made up excuses like why??? I’m so over with her excuses, she just make up excuses about this and that, she said she’s busy but my sister did most of the job..uggghhhh, how many more time do I have to endure with her attitude? I just got the feelings that I’m suffering from depression and so many disappointing things happen
So maybe your mom doesn't want to see her family? As for accompanying you to get the form, is it necessary for her to go? There is also the possibility that your mom is depressed.
give you cookie as for the form, why does she have to go with you to collect it? there may be reasons why your mother is behaving this way, it would be good if you could talk to her to find out what is wrong maybe discuss with your sibling about what is up and what to do about it.
How often does she exercise? If she does not exercise often, chances are high she is really out of energy. And like others said, is it necessary for her to collect the form with you? And does she work? If she does, there is also a chance that she is burnt out from work too. When I had to do OT, very often I end up going home and just crashing. And I mean it literally, smash right into bed and fall asleep with work clothes on and all.
Not really necessary but I would say that she's the most reliable person in the house that's why I asked her to accompany since she has been gone to the city for so many times last week and this week, leaving me behind again and again and say "you can take the form on another day" I can't drive that's why I need her to accompany me, my older siblings have works so can't accompany me, unfortunately We've done so many things for her and said so many stuffs to her, yes, we've tried so many things but she listened to none of them, that's why I don't know how to be patient.. Ya, I'm aware of that that's why my sister, who can drive, offer her a ride so she can meet her family without being weary but still..She didn't even visit her family during the school holiday, I might say that she had lots of free time during that time but still..I just don't know how to persuade her..
You might have to settle for visiting family without her. Ultimately, the relationship between her and her parents and siblings is not for you to fix, but shoudn't stop you from enjoying your relationship with family. Since your sister can drive, go there by yourselves. Just check with your mom if that's alright and if there isn't a hard truth on why she doesn't want contact with her relatives. Is there no public transport you can take for the form? And this might seem random, but lack of vitamines, like vitamine D, can cause a lack of energy, low mood and less positivity and it might be good to check that out. Where I live we don't get enough sun so we need to take vitamin D, it's the same if her work mainly happens indoor.
So maybe your mom is depressed or doesn't want to visit her family. When an older family members dies a lot of drama tends to pop up. That may be what she is avoiding. Is your mother the type to tell her children if there are problems? Or do you only find out after it is delt with or if it becomes to be or by accident? Finally if her father just passed away as you stated, maybe she is grieving, and is dealing with it. In such a case you or your siblings cannot fix the problem and to expect for your mother to be better after 2-3 weeks is unrealistic. Finally does she normally get along with her family members? It sounds like she doesn't usually go to see her relatives. Perhaps she doesn't get along with them or there is some history that you don't know. In such a case she could not want to see her relatives and fill guilty for feeling that way, which would push her into acting the way she is acting. As for your form, ask her the days she is going and say she can drop you off then pick you up afterword. Though if it's really out of the way from where she is going, then that would explain why she has been putting off taking you. Your other option is to wait for your siblings to have a day off or get a ride with someone else.
Just like you said, she does tell us her problems, mother isn't the type of person who hide things (even if she does, I still can tell what they are)..her relatives are kind, I would say, way better than my father's side..perhaps it's because of the 'barrier' that avoid her from visiting her family, we forced her to see her family because they really² want to see her and we feel bad that they keep asking about her whenever we come to visit them(mother is always and always contact them so don't worry, I know how much she loves her family, I don't know if contacting then through WhatsApp can fix everything, perhaps that's how she think)..what did mother say when we visited her family, "you guys are better than your cousin, at least you guys came to visit them.." I'm not saying she's a bad mother though since we're very² close but I just fed up with her excuses...she always come up with excuses, that's why I made this thread to ask for some advices to reprimand her..well, we also tell father sometimes about mother's attitude and he said "advice her properly, and she'll listen"..but she still makes excuses over everything, I don't think making excuses is in her blood cause I don't inherit such habit (sorry for mentioning this, wth?)..ok just that, she's no problem, she's a happy person, a bit naïve but always make up excuses over everything...s attitude and he said "advice her properly, and she'll listen"..but she still makes excuses over everything, I don't think making excuses is in her blood cause I don't inherit such habit (sorry for mentioning this, wth?)..ok just that, she's no problem, she's a happy person, a bit naïve but always make up excuses over everything...s attitude and he said "advice her properly, and she'll listen"..but she still makes excuses over everything, I don't think making excuses is in her blood cause I don't inherit such habit (sorry for mentioning this, wth?)..ok just that, she's no problem, she's a happy person, a bit naïve but always make up excuses over everything... P.S. I don't want this 'barrier' to be her main excuses to not see her family..If my siblings don't want to see me one day, I'll be mad at them.. P.S.S.. I don't think depression is the main reason, she always come up with excuses since many years ago when we ask her to visit her family, I hope racism isn't the main reason..
It sounds like you guys like her side of the family but she doesn't very much. There is a difference between loving them and being able to be in the same place interacting with them. Just because your family does not mean you can enjoy meeting up with them. It sounds like talking to them over WhatsApp is her limit for interacting with them. From some sub contexts, it sounds like your mom might be an introvert, so she is going to be less social in general. What you call lazy or free time is actually important time for her to calm/ reenergize/ stabilize herself. It's not right of you to force her too meet her family if she doesn't want to. She has made her choice to see them less often. Whether you agree with it or not, you have to respect it. Forcing your opinions and your choices onto her is not the way to go, and she's not going to respond to that. For the form, when is the last day you can pick it up and turn it in? See if you can find out anything you can about it to prepare in advance. For example letters of recommendation, scores for tests, fees that need to be paid a certain way, copies of documents and proof of addresses/education. Unless the form is new, information will be available online. So prepare what you can so that you have less to do when you do get the form and are not as rushed.
eh it mean she not wanna see them~ just say that to your family, it kinda tricky tho so it not offend the other side~ well if you patience enuf you can keep trying~ worst case until she die (yup such case exist personal experience), best case soon..... dunno when~ family problem is complicate, complex, yet simple~ it about feeling and logic.... and stubborn..... and other stuff~ as for form if you really need it, here practical advise, abandon hope to get help from your mom and search help from other~ if she ask why you do that (just possibility) say 1. you don't wanna bother her cuz she seem too busy 2. you already did and give her multiple chance so time to move on~ well, the barrier is the problem so unless you know what is the barrier scold, advise and stuff will goes to one ear then out from another~
Some things your mother won't tell you. For example, my father keeps pushing me to meet up with one of my old friends but what he does not know is that guy is a creep that likes to "tease" people by sexually harassing them. He still thinks we are "good friends" when I want to try avoiding him so that I don't get groped (and I'm a guy, that other guy doesn't mean it sexually but guy groping guy is still sexual harassment). You really shouldn't assume that you know everything about the relationship between her and her family just in case you end up pushing her into such a situation. As for the form? Take the bus, go to school yourself and collect it, it's obvious that getting her to go with you is more effort than it is worth.
Uweeeehhhh??!! That's creepy!!! Man harassing another man??!! As for the form, I would say that it's just an extra testimony telling how mother makes up excuses, it doesn't matter actually, I just mad that she went to the city for some times and refused to give me a ride to get the form (the city is way too small so you can go from one place to another place in a very short period of time, don't know if I can call that city actually, its way too small) She went to the city again today and she forbid me to come along
Yeah, being the same gender has nothing to do with it. That 10000000% sexual harassment. Its always awkward to tell people to stop or say you don't like it. Then you become the too person who is too sensitive and can't take a joke. Sucks your dad still wants you to hang out. Good job removing your self from the situation instead of enduring it.
Forget it and go by yourself then. If you are old enough to complain about your mom, you're old enough to DIY lol. Yeah but the context in this case might be that his/her mom has something against the family and her pushing her mom back in might be harmful. For all we know, touch wood, her father might have been sneaking into her bed every night or her mom might have been doing "adult checks" on her. She won't be telling everyone, just quietly avoiding them but some "heroes" might decide to "help her connect to her family again", unfortunately in ways they don't expect. So sometimes it might be best to step back a little because you'll have no idea about the situation.
No need to be patient, you gonna attend a military school anyway you'll learn eventually on how you could cope up with things like this. If she doesn't want to go, get someone else. Ask if you sis can take a day off and accompany you or take the form urself and fill it up. You can always take public transportation or taxi ride there, i mean it should be common and easy. Then if they need signature just sign them up at home. Oh and you need to rely less on ur parents starting from now on since family matters could be too toxic for us sometimes NGL. I stopped caring about my parents decision to divorce like for ages now so u shouldn't then too and always listen to people when they say leave ur parents stuff to ur parents