Go read Road to Kingdom, or if you want something really convulated look out Daniel Queen Steele novel 'When We Were Married'.
I read about 200 chapters. I didnt find it match All the homoerotic undertones didnt help either. The only novel I have enjoyed that fit my tastes perfectly is Reverend Insanity: The protagonist has lost a lot of times but the most important is that he tried being kind and that got him killed. It is not your usual edgy emo crap