(Monthly) Short Story Writing Prompts Submission Thread

Discussion in 'Community Creations' started by AliceShiki, Oct 22, 2016.

?

June's Topic!

Poll closed May 21, 2018.
  1. Fictogemino

    6 vote(s)
    60.0%
  2. The Hero Proposed to me, but I'm the Demon King (or queen!)

    1 vote(s)
    10.0%
  3. Lights Out

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  4. Sinners

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  5. Continue A Story (Feel free to choose any of the 3)

    3 vote(s)
    30.0%
  1. Action

    Action Well-Known Member

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    Last edited: Jun 17, 2018
  2. Deleted member 41274

    Deleted member 41274 Guest

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    oh sh*t

    *teleports out quickly before someone beats me up here* TT^TT
     
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  3. MangoGuy

    MangoGuy Rambling Mango

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    Thank you for the input!! I agree with you. I had a simple plan but I got hit by writers block in the middle. I decided to just directly post my draft because I want to compare my progress. As for the ending..I was not able to write exactly what I had envisioned. Love the feedback!!
     
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  4. AliceShiki

    AliceShiki 『Ms. Tree』『Magical Girl of Love and Justice』

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    I don't mind if you talk a bit in here though? I'd frown at purposeful hijacking, but as long as it's just talking about what each person has written, rather or not it was here. It's good IMO!
     
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  5. NZPIEFACE

    NZPIEFACE Leecher

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    让我猜一猜,你的母语是中文?
    Things I found good:
    End open for interpretation
    Nice twist

    Things I found bad:
    English
    Flow of the story, the protagonist seems to get used to things too fast

    Plot overall is fine, as it seems to make even a tiny bit of sense, though it never does explain why the head honcho's son was killed.
    The raid could be more... Realistic is how I would say it, from how they managed to kill their way to the boss without being noticed.
     
  6. Recouer

    Recouer Well-Known Member

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    Yeah i know about the many discrepancies and the lack of information however, when writing this, i had in mind to continue the story, so the why the protagonist was so willing is a choice i made from his background.
    Also the pov couldn't allow me to explain how they infiltrated the the HQ because, well you wouldn't say it to someone that may reveal their plan.
    The fact that the fights are so little explained is also a choice from the pov and circumstances i had in mind while writing this but sure enough, it feels like it's poorly written if it's just the short story.
    Also if you could say what is bad about the english would be nice, since i'm not a native speaker any feedback is more than welcomed.
     
  7. NZPIEFACE

    NZPIEFACE Leecher

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    Diction, capitalization, syntax, punctuation, grammar, spelling. Not too sure about tenses, as I read this yesterday.
     
  8. Recouer

    Recouer Well-Known Member

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    Just enumerating everything that could be bad won't help :giggle: or is my english this bad:ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:
    Anyway i don't think there is any spelling mistake as i did use word, i'm at least sure of that:p
     
  9. NZPIEFACE

    NZPIEFACE Leecher

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    "grec" isn't a word.
     
  10. Recouer

    Recouer Well-Known Member

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    Ah... guess that counts as a mistake:ROFLMAO:
    Grec stands for greek but it's french:p
     
  11. NZPIEFACE

    NZPIEFACE Leecher

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    English dude.
     
  12. Recouer

    Recouer Well-Known Member

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    Yeah my bad but i was too lazy to translate and before i knew it i posted it on nuf :p
     
  13. Action

    Action Well-Known Member

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    Last edited: Jun 17, 2018
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  14. NZPIEFACE

    NZPIEFACE Leecher

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    Others said highs are too high and lows are too low.
    I kinda see what they mean from what you're saying now.

    When I was writing it back then, I wanted to keep it short and interesting.
    Guess that kinda backfired in satisfying some things.
     
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  15. NZPIEFACE

    NZPIEFACE Leecher

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    I'm cringing at reading my story again.
    Fuck, should've put at least a bit of exposition in somehow.
     
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  16. Action

    Action Well-Known Member

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    Last edited: Jun 17, 2018
  17. NZPIEFACE

    NZPIEFACE Leecher

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    Eh, I'll rewrite some parts and include some more stories of the underworld later.


    Later
     
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  18. AliceShiki

    AliceShiki 『Ms. Tree』『Magical Girl of Love and Justice』

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    Genre: Comedy, Parody.
    Word Count: 1213
    Title: There are no Borders When it Comes to Shipping!

    And so, they lived happily ever after...

    ... Happily ever after!? What about Shizuo!? How dare they kill my beloved Shizuo for this bacouple! He was definitely a better pairing for Izaya than this girl!

    It's absurd I tell you! Absurd! Give me back my last 10 years of shipping that were sunk in a single episode!!!!

    *sighs* Why is it that the authors can never see the love of introducing a BL ship between their main characters... It's soooooooo better than the mainstream handsome boy x cute girl thing...

    Whatever, let's just go back to-

    "You right there, come with me!"

    ... Huuuuuuuuuuuh?

    "You know, invading a girl's room is bad by itself, but could you at least come from the door, and not from... A hole on the wall... From the outside... At the 16th floor... Eh?"

    "No time to explain! Come now!"

    Okay, let's try to recap... First, my favorite character died, then, his perfect ship ended up with another girl. Okay, so far so good and... Then, a guy appeared on my room's wall telling me to come with him... Okay, I got it!

    "Wait wait wait wait! Why are you running!? We need you!!!"

    "Who the hell wouldn't run if a weirdo suddenly appeared from the wall on the 16th floor!? There is no way I'm- Kyaaaaaaa!!!"

    "I am sorry, but your help is needed, now, let's go!"

    ... Alright, let's continue our recap, after doing the obvious decision of running away, I was chased by the man and caught... Then... Uhn... I'm on a beach with girls shooting cannons at one another...? Uhn... Where is the button to wake up from the weird dream? No, none? What do you mean talking in a monologue to an imaginary other self as a method of running away from reality won't work? I'm trying my best to make sense out of this, alright!?

    Let's... Try to start by asking then...

    "Can someone explain to me why was I suddenly throw in the middle of a Kantai Collection game? I don't think it's the best joke you could come up with, I need to go to work tomorrow, you know?"

    "Listen, we need your help, you're our only hope!"

    "... Hope? Me? For what? I'm pretty terrible at KanCo, you know?"

    "You need to sink the battleship Yoshitsuna! There is absolute no hope of survival if you don't do it!"

    "Again, I'm not-"

    "Look! Our ships are being massacred at its wrath!"

    I turned to look at it and... Well, that was unexpected, why is there a spaceship attacking girl-ships... Isn't that like, totally unfair? They can't even fly!

    "Please! You gotta help us!"

    "How...?"

    "By doing what you always do!"

    "... Please elaborate."

    "Look, we don't have time for jokes! We need your help urgently!"

    "... Yeah, right... Can I just go back home? The girls will be fine, look, they're having fun and- oh, another one sank... I guess it happens?"

    "Yo-yo-you! Do you have no heart!? Can't you see that they're dying to protect this country!?!?"

    "And what the hell do you expect me to do!? Don't go suddenly kidnapping me and tell me to sink a frigging spaceship out of nowhere! It's impossible!"

    "But you're the only one that could possibly have a chance! Who else would be able to sink the great Yoshitsuna!?"

    "How would I be able to sink that thing!"

    "The same way you sank all other ships! You're a sinker shipper well known in the entire multiverse! If someone can do it, then that someone is you!"

    "... Come again?"

    "Please don't play dumb, we're really desperate here! Your record is flawless, there isn't a single unsunken ship in your entire history! You ought to know some way to sink that monster!"

    "...
    ...
    ... Got it... So... If I just do what I always do, and... If it works, or fails... You let me go home once I'm done?"

    "If not even you can do it, then all hope is lot."

    *sighs* "Okay, I'll do it."

    "Hooray!! You heard her men! We have hopes! It can be done!!!!"

    "Yeah yeah, give me some space, will ya?"

    "You heard her! Give her as much room to move as you can!!!"

    The guys all started spreading out... Good grief, I can't believe I'm doing this...

    I walked towards the sea, at least until the water was almost hitting my feet that is... Well, here goes nothing.

    "Hey! Yoshitsuna!!"

    Is it my impression or the spaceship turned towards here... No no, it's definitely my impression, there is no way a ship would hear me that high up in the sky... Besides, Yoshitsuna isn't a girl-ship, it doesn't even have ears, so... it should be fine, It's definitely and absolutely fine...

    "I know you're from another franchise, and that you shouldn't even have a personality, but... You know, I think you'd make a great yuri ship with Fubuki."

    "Hey! What are you saying!?"

    Deciding to casually ignore the girl's shouts, I continued.

    "Think like this, just imagine it! You, Fubuki, the both of you holding each other while watching the sunset, on the beach, with a beautiful red sea on the background... And then... A kiss, it would be wonderfully perfect, wouldn't it!?"

    I could see the girls on the sea looking at me with a flabbergasted face... No no, let's ignore them, they're just battleships...
    ... I think I don't need to look at the guys behind me as well, they're probably praising me in their hearts aren't they? They definitely are. *nod nod*

    Hmmmmm... Seems like the strategy was a failure though... Oh well, I was never that much of a fan of Yuri ships anyway, I'm more into BL, let's just go home and... Why is Yoshitsuna going red...?

    "I-it's not like I like Fubuki or anything! Baka!"

    ... I just saw a tsundere spaceship... May god be witness to this moment, so as to it never be told, that there is any impossibility on this world.

    "Yeah, right, did you see that new R-18 doujin featuring Fubuki and Mutsuki? You need to step up your game, you know? Or she might be stolen~"

    "Shu-shu-shu-shut up!"
    "Wha-wha-wha-what are you talking about!?!?!?"

    Oh, the poor girls, don't worry, your noble sacrifice will not be in vain, it's all for the sake of me returning to my peaceful everyday life! I salute you in my mind!

    "I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I I DON'T READ THAT KIND OF THING BA-BA-BA-BA-BAKA!!!!"

    "Oh, then let me go to the bookstore, I can get you one in a heartbeat."

    "No-no-no-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo!!!!"

    ... Eh? Why is this... It's falling... Did it just... Faint?

    Oh great, screams of terror from the girls that were below it, and... Oh look, a tsunami... Yeah, definitely great... So... What now? The plot armor teleport gets me back home?

    ... As if. Well, I guess I saw something amazing at the end...



    ... Holy, this really was a dream after all? Well, I guess I learned my lesson, no KanCo marathon to get rid of my sorrows due to a sunken ship. I wonder why a ship from Makai Kingdom appeared of all things though...

    Oh look, a new Rouroni Kenshin chapter! Come on Saitou, you'll definitely win Kenshin's Heart~

    Uhn... This was weird, I thought I'd easily have an idea for this topic, but there was nothing coming at all, so... I decided to just go wild with it and be as mad as possible!

    I hope the ending wasn't too lackluster though.
     
    Last edited: Aug 4, 2017
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  19. Action

    Action Well-Known Member

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  20. AliceShiki

    AliceShiki 『Ms. Tree』『Magical Girl of Love and Justice』

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    Teehee, glad it was! It was pretty fun writing that!

    Hmmmm... I'm feeling like my recent stories here have been taking a turn for comedy... I wonder why, it wasn't really intentional...

    Rather, I always thought I was more of a romance writer... *curious about my own behavior*
     
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