I need help with my novel. I'm looking readers who enjoyed read similar novels before and readers who are not actually fond of the trope. I think, both opinions are necessary. TITLE: Villainess Syndrome (Previously Merge Riot!) SYNOPSIS: How to dig your own grave? —and other life snippets about a villainess who eats death flags for a living. *** Coco is a trash-like existence. Her attitude just makes people around her cough blood. It's Earth's blessing that she died. And her descent is her next world's misfortune. She realized that she transmigrated inside an otome game she used to play as Colette Corliss, the villainess. Nothing to worry about. She can just use her game knowledge to avoid death flags or something, right? It’s just that the plot became nothing but fart. All because she transmigrated in a world where numerous otome games co-exists. A world with plenty of protagonists with different tiers of heroine halos. A bunch of Rival Characters. Love interests confusing who their heroine was. There was only one word to describe her current circumstance. Chaos! But it isn't necessarily a bad thing. She smirked to herself. "In chaos, I thrive. Duh." --------------------- To guide you, here are the most important things for me right now: Title - Is it confusing? Does it grab attention? Is it suitable for my novel? Synopsis - Is it interesting? Does it make sense? Main Character - Any thoughts about her? Is she even likeable? First Chapter - Does it make you want to continue reading the novel? Are there issues or things that irks you? Much better if you can give me a detailed feedback on chapter 1 Opening Line - Any thoughts? Narration - Is it clear? Are there sentences that are too long or caused you to pause because you have no idea what's going on? Is it interesting? Flow - does the scenes flow naturally? Dialogues - Are there too many unnecessary dialogues? Are there dialogues that sound unnatural (especially for native english speakers)? Pacing - Does it feels draggy? Or is it just right for a chapter 1? Characters - Are they distinguishable from one another? Can you visualize them? End line - Did it end naturally? Any comments. Overall - Does it make you want to continue reading the novel? Why? Also, if you have thoughts on the grammar, and if there are other technical concerns, I will also appreciate it. Please harsh on it.
I didn't really read the whole thing but I just wanted to ask does she transmigrate at the end? So you have to read through 6 pages to get to the part where she ends up in another world? I don't really want to. Also what is the point of having her get abused by people in real life if she is just going to transmigrate, she can't even get revenge. The concept is really interesting so is she evil or just the mc? Thoughts on the MC- she a thot. Overall there is just too much, I couldn't get through it, was it fun to write this, for me writing something like this would feel like work but that might just be me. Also disregard everything I said in this post and just write your story. You don't need feedback or other people's opinions, good job.
I am currently editing it because I realized the same thing. But thanks to your feedback, I realized I haven't really showed her personality on the first chapter. Also, what made her appear like a thot?
Its not a bad thing that "shes a thot" I just was making a joke lol I think the hash tags, her personality and other stuff- that is good, that's like your own creative ideas, that's what people are reading for And also it looks like you changed chapter 1 so it has more of a purpose I like it. Agreed, writing an MC's personality is so hard, that's why every MC feels cliche/reincarnation is always used. One thing you can do is not worry about it and just make the MC more of a spectator to all the things that happen, let other characters drive the story Another thing you can do is pile on the conflict and just make survival so difficult that the MC can barely keep there head above water(although this isn't easy to pull off)- at that point your MC will have a personality regardless of what you do