Non-Romantic Skinship

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by lychee, Sep 6, 2017.

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Do you ever seek/miss non-romantic skinship in your life?

  1. I'm Male - Never

    24 vote(s)
    38.7%
  2. I'm Male - Sometimes

    14 vote(s)
    22.6%
  3. I'm Male - Frequently

    4 vote(s)
    6.5%
  4. I'm Female - Never

    5 vote(s)
    8.1%
  5. I'm Female - Sometimes

    7 vote(s)
    11.3%
  6. I'm Female - Frequently

    8 vote(s)
    12.9%
  1. lychee

    lychee [- slightly morbid fruit -] ❀[ 恋爱? ]❀

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    Something that I've always noticed was that guys typically are more reluctant about hugging and other kinds of non-romantic physical contact.

    So the question I have is: Do guys seek/miss it less? Or do they just express it less?

    And if you're a guy who doesn't express it but seeks it, why don't you express it?

    I have a scenario that you can imagine, if you're up for it:

    Imagine that you are in the hospital. You've been hospitalized for 6 months, and you don't have family or friends that come to visit you. You have people you can talk to, like other patients on your hospital floor, but you haven't had physical contact because you're in an isolation bubble.

    You haven't had physical contact for the past six months.

    Physical contact like -- the casual pat on the shoulder, or a hand touching yours -- even the most trivial of physical contact that nobody thinks twice about.

    Would you miss physical contact at that point?
    How long do you think you could go living without physical contact before you start to miss it?

    #lycheesrandomquestion
     
  2. elengee

    elengee Daoist Ninefaps

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    lol, the only difference is that boys when they're young tend to get physical comfort less often. Girl cries, gets a hug aww baby. Boy cries, gets told to man up, boys don't cry etc. For previous generations of parents it was especially awkward having to hug your child if it was male, so a whole generation of boys feel incredibly awkward with physical contact other than sex. As well as with expressing emotions, or even tolerating them in others because they themselves have been repressed since childhood.

    Just look at how accepting we are of lesbians, as opposed to gay couples. Women are even comfortable taking showers and sharing clothes with each other, while men are always punching each other in the shoulder and just making fun of each other.
    We just connect differently because of it all.
     
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  3. Kurotsubaki

    Kurotsubaki Reincarnation of the Seven Deadly Sins

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    That poll though....
    More male to never and more female to frequently.
    That means male here are more romantic type and the female is..... You know?
     
  4. Crash-san

    Crash-san Well-Known Member

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    I'm a guy and I'm addicted to physical contact since i was around like 16. It can literally put me to sleep because of the comfort i feel. Doesn't even matter if it's from girls or other guys. I'm just a cuddly person.
     
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  5. Exterial

    Exterial @pocketbear ,much oneesama, very friendly, kawaii.

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    I see no value in non-romantic skinship, guys dont hug guys because its gay, at least thats what it would be seen as. When you see 2 guys hugging you don't think "oh how cute" or "they must be best friends" instead your mind automatically screams "gay".
    It's different with girls, because it is.
    That's how our brains and culture has developed over the centuries, don't argue with it.
     
  6. lychee

    lychee [- slightly morbid fruit -] ❀[ 恋爱? ]❀

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    I mean, I get that part for sure -- I was just curious if guys ever crave physical contact (given that I'm assuming they don't have a lot of it?)
     
  7. SirPinha

    SirPinha #Vaporwave

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    I hate almost everyone so... No.
     
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  8. Alkion

    Alkion Well-Known Member

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    I am okay with skinship, but I am alright without it. Probably wouldn't miss it.
     
  9. erowarrior

    erowarrior Well-Known Member

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    I wouldn't cause I hate every physical contact.
     
  10. 12300

    12300 [How many sheep can Snorlax count?]

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    Why would you miss touching someone?
     
  11. Yukino

    Yukino Well-Known Member

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    Isn't it's more like, guy who never seek or miss (since there's no chance to begin with or didn't notice so didn't know they missed it) both romantic or non romantic skinship. Most people here are busy reading novels to have time for pesky RL and skinship with other human.
     
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  12. janvaldes21

    janvaldes21 Active Member

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    I didn't know, or I never thought of it because I always hold my phone......
    NOVELS IS LIFE, NOVELS IS DRUGS
     
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  13. Exterial

    Exterial @pocketbear ,much oneesama, very friendly, kawaii.

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    Of course we do, all humans crave contact.
    However it's mostly romantic skinship that se crave, i wouldn't wanna hug a guy but i wouldn't mind it if a girl gave me her shoulder to lean on from time to time y'kno?
     
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  14. AHKoT

    AHKoT [FA sect] [2nibyou] [ReverseEpi] [Htrap]

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    Well if you are a guy and you hug a girl who is not your girlfriend even if you don't mean anything romantic it would be considered as extreme foolishness and depends on the situation you might earn a kick between your legs :sweating_profusely::sweating_profusely::sweating_profusely::notlikeblob::notlikeblob::notlikeblob:.
    BTW it fine if it's occasionally but if 2 guys hugs each other often then at least one of them is gay
     
  15. lychee

    lychee [- slightly morbid fruit -] ❀[ 恋爱? ]❀

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    So essentially, it's the gender that matters more than anything else?

    So this is always what gets me confused.

    From a guy's perspective (@Exterial too), is it possible to be friends with (or close to) a girl without being romantically interested in her?

    Because it seems to me that guys commonly view those kinds of friendships in a romantic manner (e.g. the so-called "friendzone"), whereas shouldn't it just be fine to remain close yet stay friends?

    I mean, when I think of people that I emotionally depend on, it isn't necessarily the people I am romantically interested in.

    Are guys more likely to emotionally depend on their significant others (or romantic interests) when they are upset?
     
  16. Senros

    Senros Well-Known Member

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    Well, I don't miss physical contact with people aside from hugs. I mean, touching someone in the shoulder, hand, back, etc is whatever to me. Heck, if you are in a crowded area you will touch a be touched in many places, so for me it is too normal or unimportant, yeah, that explains it better.

    But I rarely hug people. I'm not really sure why, maybe it is because of my dog when I lived with my mom was too adorable and cuddly, so I would pick him up and hug him for some time or maybe squeeze him for a bit. Then again, though I can't quite remember it happening, but one of my aunts said that my hugs felt good somehow. I'm not quite sure but I think it was because she could feel my love. There are different types of hugs. That quick hug good male friends give each other after not seeing each other for quite some time. That awkward hug because you know you or the other person are tense and it feels quite awkward. One of you don't fully hug the other and it feels weird. Then you have something like a present/in the moment hug. By that I mean that it is a full hug and you are just hugging, instead of waiting for the moment to end the hug and do something else. I guess I fell into that last type of hug.

    I also remember a friend of mine (a girl) saying my hugs were pleasant. I'm from Latin America and around 7th-8th grade there were a lot of hugs in my class for some reason.

    Still, I can hug anyone (guys, girls), but with guys it has to be a quick hug with that pat on the back. I haven't hugged a guy longer than 2-3 seconds and I feel like a long hug with a guy would be awkward. Family is another thing. I hug my aunts and uncles. I got used to hugging them when I greet them so it isn't awkward. Then again, there is also those "free hugs" things and when it is a guy doing it, sometimes other guys hug them for a while. At least that happened in one or two videos I saw.

    In short, I miss hugs mostly due to my squishy dog. Sometimes I feel like hugging/squeezing someone, then I remember I don't have a girlfriend and my dog is in another country and I get sad. From time to time I do seek hugs, but it feels kind of awkward and I'm kind of shy, so it's even more awkward for me to go hug some girl I know.
     
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  17. lychee

    lychee [- slightly morbid fruit -] ❀[ 恋爱? ]❀

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    Ah yes! This feeling! I can definitely relate to this. Thanks!
     
  18. fuzor100

    fuzor100 Standby mode...

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    I need to get myself hospital for 6 months without any contact first in order to found out if I will miss it or not.

    But I'm sure I'm not the type that want hug too much.
     
  19. Tramsloof

    Tramsloof Quarter Erudite

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    Handshake is the best you will get from me most of times, and I give the firm one.

    Hug is reserved for really close friends, and there very few whom I hug. And just because they are my really close friends that doent mean they will get a hug everytime. On reunion after a long time only.

    I hate pats on my shoulder or an arm on my shoulder, while I love doing this to other people. My friends have a lot to complain about this, because I always put my weight on them while we walk.

    If I am in a hospital, I would rather have minimal physical contact. God knows how many germs they have on their hands and on themselves, and I am weak, how will I wash myself and my hands. Friends will be taking revenge of my firm handshakes when I wont be able to muster strength.

    Generally I am very uncomphortable with physical contact of any kind unless there is a purpose or it is initiated by me.
     
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  20. AHKoT

    AHKoT [FA sect] [2nibyou] [ReverseEpi] [Htrap]

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    I don't know about other but I personally think that it's really hard to just have a girl as your friend without anything romantic involved. It's so strange since if it's when I don't have a girlfriend I can talk to them normally but if I have one it just feels not right and I ended up avoiding eye contact.

    Most guys would probably depend on alcohol when they're upset and prefer to be alone. Well at least that's what I often do when I'm upset.
     
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