I've thought a male coworker about non romantic skinship once xD the whole concept and benefits and all, the he was just slightly amused at the extent of my passion on the subject xD but i don't think he was convinced~ I'm a touchy person, so i like hugs and handtoshoulder touches a lot~~ to both guys n girls~ but in both sexes, there are those who like touches, are tolerant, and aren't tolerant~ Tho of course the standard (?) is lower for guys. Also cause I'm female and we were taught growing up that if a male and female touches, that's teasing material xD What's interesting to me tho, is that the best platonic hug I've ever gotten (as in firmest or strongest) was with / from a guy, despite girls more openness to touching each other.
Is it possible to be "friends" with a girl without being romantically interested in her? Sadly the answer is no. Our hormones etc prevent that from being the case, it is mentally impossible for a guy to be close friends with a girl and not be romantically interested in her. However naturally this depends, and sadly it's human nature to like the beautyfull. If the guy already has a girlfriend the only way for him to have a different girl as a close friend and not girlfriend is if shes ugly. That way the girlfriend wont worry about the guy cheating and the guy wouldn't want to cheat, he likes her personality as a friend sure but is not romantically interested in her. But thats a very rare scenario, usually its simply impossible for a guy to be friends with a girl and not be romantically interested in her, as if you're friends with someone you like them, and if that person is a good looking girl too then our hormones will give rise to those thoughts or feelings themselves. Its a little different for girls due to the difference in mind set and upbringing, not to mention male hormones are a lot more possesive and agressive than the female ones. Which is why some girls only like guys as a "friend" #friendzone whereas if a guy is friends with a girl its almost impossible for him not to be romntically interestet in her unless she's ugly, the guy is gay, or had a different upbringing that affected his mentality somehow tho even in those cases the hormones win over most of the time. Can a guy be "just" friends with girls? Sure, just know that on the inside he wants more. He always does simply because it's in human nature, don't hate the guy for it as we were born this way.
I'm not a guy but I don't like physical contacts cause it makes me uncomfortable unless I initiate it which is rare, actually.
Hmmmm... I crave for physical contact quite often, but at the same time I rarely seek it... I think I'm quite extroverted online, but I'm really introverted IRL... It's a troublesome issue, I feel uncomfortable with seeking physical contact, even if I want it... *hugs Lychee-chan*
since the answer is hormones, id argue as you get older and less hormonedriven, the answer becomes a yes~ I'm a person who naturally gets closer to males more easily than females, and i can testify~ Because romance becomes less about the impulsive hormonal lust, but more about some sort of beautiful commitment and understanding. This, you can control / direct. apache helicopter would be an option
Generally skinship - and if don't consider shaking hands the one - among men (if they are not parent or son) was considered gay. I mean you were more likely to see hugging girls than men (except if they didn't see each other for a long time). But it was due to gender specific behaviours or so. So generally men are not into touching other men. With a tendency to more neutral approach, you will be the weird one if you don't like it. We are moving towards more emotionally open or maybe "feeling" society.
I slightly disagree with you. In my case I have been really close friends with three girls at different points of time and with one I never got attracted to her, but I think it was due to how she was. She felt a bit distant somehow, like she still had some barriers with me, so maybe we weren't really as close as I thought. For the other two, while I was really close friends with them I wasn't attracted to them, but after we stopped being that close I did have a crush on them for a while haha. The way I see it, you can be friends, really close friends with a girl (when you are a man) and be just friends, but at least for me, if there is an opportunity where I could go past being normal friends, I would (with normal to pretty girls.) I don't see it as love but as physical attraction. She is good looking so I want to kiss her, get kinky, etc with her, but I doubt I would want to be in a relationship with them. Maybe I'll find a girl who is wife material in my eyes, be her friend and then fall in love, but that hasn't happened and it would be a rare occurrence. I have no idea if that happens to girls as well (being physically attracted to a male friend), but I guess it does happen to them. They aren't just a pure, white and unblemished flower. Some are even more kinky than us... If you say that you can't be friends with someone of the different sex and not be physically attracted, then I completely agree. But you can be friends with a girl, without falling for her. "I want to smash her," isn't love (but that's what happens to me, no idea about others.)
Well are we talking about skinship like hugs-caresses? or boy/girls (male/female) interactions? In the first case i like to be on the receiving end and i don't care what others may think. If a beautiful woman wants to hug me why would i care to stop her? From a male perspective you had to take instinct into consideration. In general male have more malice in contact with the other sex. That being said it's totally possible to have a friendly relationship with the other sex, why not? Things can evolve i'm not deny that possibility but it's not that we man are all evil and perverted...
I disagree. I've never been interested in any of my female friends (not that I've had a lot, but a few here and there over the time I've lived). My taste is very specific so I tend to know within the first few interactions if the girl is someone I might be romantically interested in, and rare enough that I've only really felt compelled about three over my three decades of life. When it comes to fleeting fancies, that goes under the category of "fantasy" for me, and I've made it a habit since puberty to completely separate fantasy from reality because I hated feeling like a creep. In fact, some of the people I've felt most relaxed around were people (who happened to be girls) who are super friendly with everyone. Because their friendliness aren't aimed specifically at me, there's no pressure when interacting with them. On the other hand, I've had a rough time in the early years of my puberty dealing with the pressure of getting called out when I was in my social group by girls who seemed specifically interested in me. So sure, I was friends with those friendly girls, but there was never any tension so there was no "sparks". The other category of girls I was friends with were more or less the ones you consider to be "one of the boys". anyways onto the prompt and these questions : "I mean, I get that part for sure -- I was just curious if guys ever crave physical contact (given that I'm assuming they don't have a lot of it?)" "Are guys more likely to emotionally depend on their significant others (or romantic interests) when they are upset?" I've never had my mind drift to skinship or my lack of it, and I think it has to do with the environmental norms when we're growing up. It's hard to miss something you've never had, and though it might seem pitiful to those who're accustomed to it, there's simply no emotional response to the subject when it comes up. Similar to my lack of skinship growing up, I also grew up with a lack of holidays or celebrations. Thus when I explain to people how holidays are simply like any other day for me, they give me the pity look even though the lack of meaning attached to the holidays isn't something I care about to begin with. Perhaps if these are things we've had early in our lives that we lost due to various reasons, it'd be a pitiful tragedy and we might have feelings regarding not having them anymore. Given the way people develop though, for many of us, it's simply our "norm". In terms of emotional dependence in times of hardship, I feel like an example is probably the best way to convey the "guys" side of things. About four years ago, a friend of mine lost his brother in an accident. When me and the other friend (we hang out as a trio) probed his feelings a bit, he withdrew into his shell. Mind you, it's not even like had a good relationship with this brother : it was quite complicated. So since he was obviously trying to avoid the issue, we just went about things as usual aside from not joking about anything related to "brothers". Later down the line when he finally came to terms with everything and sorted his mind out (a few years later in fact), he finally decided to tell us his complicated feels regarding his brother and his death and how he appreciated us keeping things "normal" since it helped keep his mind off of it. I think that's more or less the "normal guy" response. Aside from the stereotype of getting drunk and sobbing your feelings away as your friends escape one by one.
I guess this makes plenty of sense, there are tons of things I never cared about that some people find it weird when I say it... The moment I start caring, is when I experience the other side of the spectrum, and want more of it... If I never thought about something, there is just no way I'll crave it... It makes sense. *nod nod*
Preety sure by romantic he means what you described, a feeling of wanting to "get it on" that's also what i was talking about. If we are talking about LOVE then that's a whole nother topic as there are people like me that can't feel love, so i guess if by romantic he means love then yeah sure i could be friends with tens of girls and not have "romantic feelings" but that's simply because i can't feel that feeling at all, however i would still want to smash 99% of em. I just kinda assumed by romantic skinship he just meant the feeling of wanting to well, y'kno. If he meant love then ofc people can be friends with girls without being romantically attracted to them, the term "friends with benefits" exists after all, but like i said it is however impossible to he friends with a girl as a man and not have thoughts of wanting to fuck her unless you're gay or have some other mental dissability.
I will have it with family members that I love (familial love) . With best friends occasionally like a normal hug, causal pat, horsing around by slapping friends on the back to pay attention but no hand holding or anything like that. Younger family members also just a hug or holding their hand so they do not get lost when we all go out to eat dinner. so since I live near my extended family and a few friends I would say frequently since I take care of my extended family kids and my friends kids. with strangers though hell no. Not really close friends? also hell no.
You can like, you know, not find some members of opposite sex attractive. You can sometimes think about doing inappropriate things, but then again, we all sometimes think about murdering people and such. It's called intrusive thoughts and its natural.
I can't even begin to imagine what it must feel like to be walking around being physically attracted to everyone................... Seems kind of nightmarish to me.
I mean, occasionally, I develop feelings for the people I'm close to, but the emotional closeness comes before the feelings.
*nod nod nod* I can't understand the feeling either! >.< I mean, I can get attracted to someone once I become friends with them... But even then, I can discern romantic attraction and physical attraction in a few seconds at best... And it only happens to people I'm already close to and that have looks that suit my taste! I really can't comprehend it at all!!! Like... If I like a man as a friend and he is "hot" that's okay, I guess I can feel attracted to him on a physical sense... On the first few days. After that it just becomes someone I'm used to, the feeling kinda fades after a while, and it doesn't even appear if I'm not close to the person in question... At least that's how it happens to me. Same here! If I'm not close emotionally (doesn't need to be too close in my case, just enough to "know" the person a bit...), feelings of attraction come only after I have some closeness! I really can't understand feeling attracted without being close at all...
you don't get moments of "ooh he has a cute butt" with strangers/loose acquaintances? or being entranced by that one guy's form as he takes a shot in basketball? or etc?