Novel Translation: Tada, Sore Dake de Yokanttan desu(completed)

temporally lock can do so you can PM shio when you want to update it

 

Honestly, I thought of having a thread where I (and other translators) can just spam random translations of random series, ala what I did 3 years ago. Testing myself out in different genres really allowed me to improve as a translator, I feel.

Back on topic to the thread, I don't mind the comments here, as long as they really feedback. I just wish there's a way where I can easily compile all the chapters together in a thread. I know the Chinese translators did it by 'booking' a few posts in the thread, and then edit them later, but I don't think I'm able to do this here.

 

Maybe making a table of contents on the first post? It's the best solution I can think of...

 

I have same thought before cuz spcv net perhaps @Tony will you make sub forum for that on future?

 

*I'm going to pop by once in a while to update this one. Really depends on mood. Don't mind me*

Chapter 2 - Nobody else Knows.

There are few ways for me to become one with you.

Not because my life's really special, not because I have strange thoughts. It's just that I'm way too stupid. Of course, I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about myself.

In a corner of a certain classroom, I was spacing out nonchalantly, and so the day ended. Nobody spoke to me, and it seemed as though I was the only one abandoned in my own world. The bell chimed on its own. In the morning, everyone was chatting about the TV show the previous night; at noon, they were having delicious meals from the canteen; at evening, they decided which fast food restaurant they decided to head to on the way home. They all excluded me.

I'm alone.

The tables, the blackboard, the pencil case, the uniforms, the school bogs, the textbooks, the gym clothes, the notebooks; they all seemed to be residents living in a different world from me.

So, please mock me.

So that I can become one with you.

What I'm going to say next is a shameful story of mine.

All the 14 year old kids are idiots, but I'm the biggest idiot of them all. Maybe my brain was corroded in delusions, that I'm afflicted with an extraordinary illness.

So, please be condescending about my breakup, my setbacks, and at the same time, look at me.

See this shameful, indecent, stupid me, whose raison d'etre is to spite myself, start up a little revolutionary war.

My name is Taku Sugawara.


There are some things only I know.

For example, school curriculum gets really boring without any friends around.

So, I'm always alone in the classroom, seated at the window side, facing the sun, continuing to ponder about a scumbag's thoughts.

This time, my mind was debating, "Will you choose to be the most unfortunate person in the world? Or the second most unfortunate decision in the world?"

Decide on this in 2 seconds.

Everyone will agree to be 'want to be the most unfortunate person in the world'.

In that case, that's strange. Unexpectedly, the most unfortunate person beats the second most unfortunate person in this world? This fallacy does seem a little strange. Maybe, if we're unfortunate, we might as well go all out at being unfortunate.

Because, everyone would donate for the sake of the kids in Africa, but nobody will donate to me.

A middle school student, poor grades, poor athletic ability, couldn't possibly get a girlfriend, living a life of not speaking to anyone, not even my life. Even when living this kind of an unfortunate life, nobody will bother with me

They just think of me as some unimpressive existence.

I, who only lives in the classroom as 'air', is unable to get any love from anyone.

And so, I stubbornly transferred my vengeance over to those starving kids in Africa.

(No no, I know that they're really troubled. But they do get love from others. For me, even if I search the entire world, I won't be able to find anyone who loves me, and that's a fact. Ahh, damn it.)

Of course, it doesn't matter that nobody understands me. To summarize, this is just random rambling of a middle schooler who's not too bright.

And then, in October, my thoughts went wild like a scumbag would.

That was why I was the 13th last in the Human Power Test.

On that day, when I had a conversation with Kotomi Ishikawa.

That incident happened two months ago.

The Kuzegawa Second Middle School I attend is famous for the lots of group work.

Every Tuesday, every class would be divided into groups of 4 students, and they would answer a very simple question.

"The brand new tourist attractions in Kuzegawa City", "The things to bring when going to an uninhabited island", "A new commercial activity to replace Valentine's day", these are the questions not even our usual random talk would be about, and we draw lots to team up in groups of 4 . This is a lesson that is deliberately arranged for those stupid people who are really bad at talking to be able to talk up.

But I just could not bring myself to enjoy this lesson time at all, something I could not explain either. Maybe it was because I felt that teamwork here was just a scoring part of the Human Power Test. We think really hard so that others will vote for us. It just feels stupid.

Thus, I would never join in the conversation while the trio in front of me are talking about 'the newest products of a Hamburger store chain'. Even if the topic was thrown at me, I would only say "Look at the era", "Look at the occasion". I really am a scumbag after all.

The elite student Kanda Setogura was initially giving me polite smiles, trying to coax for my opinion, but finally chose to give up and ignore me. The one with the delinquent vibe, Ayaka Tsuda already viewed it a misfortune to be grouped with me, being spiteful in her words, and sometimes even glared at me.

"Hey, Sugawara. Please, say something."

Finally, Setogura gave me a blank look, saying that.

"I get the feeling that my remaining Middle School life will end without being able to talk to you, Sugawara."

At the very least, I uttered back, "Sorry...". If I apologize, I could let this pass, at least.

And as expected, Tsuda immediately told Setogura, "Enough already, Kanda. Ignore this bastard." With Tsuda pressuring, Seogura barely managed to switch to the next topic.

<em>Sorry.</em> This time, I secretly uttered in my heart. <em>Sorry for worrying about this scumbag here.</em>

And so, our group ended up deciding on a 'bashimi burger'. Of course, it was up to Setogura to present.
The one most able to get everyone in class excited was the group lead by Masaya, which decided on having a 'Waffle burger' with wafflers slapped between fruits and cream. A gleeful Ninomiya mocked him, saying, "This isn't a hamburger, isn't it?", only to be retorted by Masaya's nonchalant attitude, "Is there a rule that forbids using the side menu?" Ninomiya played with his long fringe, making exaggerated motions that made everyone in class laugh. Including Tsuda, the girls in class were staring at their dispute. It was the usual group work.

I too watched Masaya, <em>you bastard</em> and cussed quietly as I left the classroom.

&nbsp;

It was after our group work, after school, when I spoke to Ishikawa.

The location was the school library, where I often borrowed light novels to read. 14 years old, and I still skipped on all the Japanese literature greats, picking those easy to read. I'm the kind of person who would boast loudly, "My hobby is reading", and then softly add on, "But only light novels".

At my current middle school, the library contained quite a fair bit of light novels, and they were the best companion for a middle school student short on money. Besides, there were two shelves worth of them. I stopped thinking, and started from the right end of the neatly arranged pocket books, drawing them out from the bookshelf in order. If the illustrated girl on the cover isn't cute, I'll put it back. This is the way I chose it, seeking my entertainment at home.

It was after school, and there were many students around me, but it did not matter. Everyone else other than me are all background characters. Thus, I was really shocked to hear someone call my name.

I could say that it's headline news for someone to call my name except during group work time.

"Do you come by to the library often, Sugawara?"

There was a girl's voice.

Looking back, the classmate called Kotomi Ishikawa's standing behind me.

She's a lively girl with middle-to-long black hair. My memories of her was that she's always smiling elegantly in class. This girl was standing in front of me like a kid who found glass, and showed an innocent smile.

"Eh, ah, what?"

I stammered really badly as I asked. Such an embarrassing voice!

But Ishikawa didn't laugh at me, and serious told me.

"You've worked hard on that group work. I feel that the bashimi burger's good, but the class response isn't much. It's a little annoying, isn't it?"

And then, she starting talking away as though she's my friend.

What's with her?

It's true that in that group, there's me, Setogura, Tsuda, and another one, that's Ishikawa. I remembered her saying some really unrealistic answers like 'how about adding miso to the bread', or 'I think adding matcha sauce is a refreshing idea'.

To my classmates Setogura and Tsuda, who were grouped with me, who never intended to discuss, and Ishikawa who had been saying weird things the entire time, I don't have the right to say that, but, my sympathies.

"Well...I think they have bashimi burgers in Kumamoto."

Since she already talked to me, I couldn't just ignore her, and so, I mumbled back.

Ishikawa widened her eyes, "We overlooked that", and commented. She then looked at the pocket book I held in my hand, saying, "Ah, that's a light novel, isn't it...are there any recommendation's you like to make, Sugawara?"

"..."

My thumbs were exerting so much force, they appear to be on the verge of ripping the book, the color changing. It's not because I hated light novels, but that I reacted without thinking. I did not understand her intentions. Why would she, who was always chatting excitedly about bands and artistes, continue to talk to someone gloomy like me?

Like a hare being cornered, I got wary. However, Ishikawa didn't seem to understand the reason for me doing this, and tilted her head in confusion.

I was tucked between her and the shelf taller than me, the gloomiest corner of the library. For some reason, we remained silent, just staring at each other.

"...I just want to talk to you." The first to break the silence was Ishikawa, "I want you to take me in as your disciple, Sugawara."

"Huh?"

"Please accept me as your disciple."

I couldn't catch up to her rhythm, and while I remained skeptical, Ishikawa lowered her head deeply towards me, showing the beautiful back of her neck. What is this? Is it trendy for girls to do this kind of play? I don't understand at all!

"P-please, lift your head."

If anyone else was to see it, I'll definitely be misunderstood and hurt. After I earnestly begged, Ishikawa seemed bemused by this awkward me, and chuckled as she got up.

I could say, without it being a hyperbole, that I let out the deepest sigh this year, saying,

"What's going on...?"

And then, Ishikawa finally realized that she didn't make a proper explanation. "Ah", she cried out, and said,

"Because you're an amazing person, Sugawara."

"Amazing?"

"Yeah. Just now, during that group work. You have a really cool, analytical personality that watches everything from above, right? You didn't seem to care about how anyone else think about you. Is it to say that you won't just go along easily?"

"No...that's actually not it..."

"Not actually it?"

"I just don't have any friends..."

I said it, but it's a tragic answer.

But it's the truth, and I can't do anything about it. If I'm deemed someone really amazing, then Ishikawa's on the level of a once-in-a-millennium monster.

Ishikawa shook her head.

"Ah, no, you might have fewer friends, but that's not the case. Speaking of which, it feels like you don't want to make friends. I'll say that you won't really go out to get on anyone's good side. You ignore their opinions; Or something like that. Anyway, I find that cool. I really admire that."

You can praise me however you want, but even I wouldn't think that way.

It's rare for me to get a single praise in a year. Yay. I was quietly delighted. Actually, in other words--

"Actually, I do care about what others think about me." I answered.

"For example?" Ishikawa asked.

"Actually, I'm happy to be praised for being 'cool'."

And after I pointed that out, Ishikawa chuckled. She then hit my chest with her fist, causing me to tumble, and she said,

"You're not the type to get bloated by praise. But this is different. Isn't it? It's like dropping a 500 yen coin when walking on the road, isn't it? That's different from me, from us. So...I'm envious of you, Sugawara."

This metaphor I did not understand contained some vague self-reproaching. Despite this, her voice didn't get completely gloomy. She sounded as though she was joking when she said that.

And while I was intending to pursue this matter, I could hear a few girls behind the shelves. "Kotomi. Where are you?", "She got lost, didn't she?" It seemed Ishikawa came with a few friends, and she too seemed to be shocked as she turned around to the voices. Did she come by to meet me without telling them? Seems like she's really lost.

I raised my hand slightly, "They're calling for you. Bye bye." I said.

"I'll ask you about being your disciple again next time." Ishikawa waved her hand. "We'll chat next time, my master-to-be."

What's with that title? I retorted, and started to feel doubts about my feelings.

For some reason, I had some longing after bidding farewell to Ishikawa, or rather, a feeling to sigh. After talking with someone familiar, the fatigue set in. It's a really complicated feeling.

While she intended to leave, Ishikawa finally said something strange to me,

"Sugawara."

"...What?"

"If I let you touch my breasts, can you vote for me as repayment during the next Human Power Test?"

"Huh!?"

Did I hear that wrong?

Of course, I, being asked this out of a sudden, could not answer.

After some silence, Ishikawa gave a mischievous smile, saying "just joking", and she vanished behind the bookshelf.

&nbsp;

When I was in elementary school, I once spoke to a classmate, whose name I forgot, "Let's go home together."

His reply was, "I don't want to get involved with you."

Thus, Ishikawa definitely misunderstood. It really feels stupid.

She shouldn't envy someone like me.

It's true that I don't care about what others think. I only have a little interest in that kind of thing. Just a little. In other words, that's all.

But she didn't know the reason why I became like this.

She didn't know about my ranking on the Human Power Test.

If she didn't know, she could have just called me 'scumbag' all she wanted. She mustn't get on friendly terms with me.

Even though nobody knew that I was going to swap seating positions, even though nobody paired about with me during P.E. class, even though nobody asked me out during the culture festival, even though no girls actually knew of my first time, even though nobody would care for my help in group work.

Even so, even when I'm a scumbag, ranked 369th, as long as I ignored the stares from everyone else, I could continue to live on leisurely.

<strong>"Hello, do you hear me?"</strong> this message came in that night.

My parents were working, and often came back late at night.

Also, I have no siblings, so I would surely be alone when I reached home. It's no different from going to school.

Since elementary school, the adults around me were opinionated、 worried for me, but actually, I'm more annoyed by being pitied by them. Eating alone too is unexpectedly fine, as long as I'm used to it; especially when it's part of my daily life since young.

I added cabbage, onions, and pork belly into miso, frying them together, quickly added some green onions into another pot to cook chicken soup, and then serve with cooked rice. I wrapped my parents' servings, and put them into the fridge.

At the living room that was more than 20 tatamis in size and arranged in a unique fashion, I started reading light novels alone. Just like the usual days.

And right when I was halfway done with the novel, the computer opposite the TV let out a beep. I approached the screen, and it's a message from Sou. There's a very cheerful message on the chatboard.

"It's been a while, Sou. Didn't you say that you're busy?"

I put my pocket book aside, and touched without looking at the keyboard. Then, he quickly replied.

<strong>"No no. Let's not talk about me. I don't have anything really interesting going on. Anyway, tell me what you did at school today."</strong>

Just the usual, I guess.

It's been more than half a year, sorta, and though we would contact each other once in a while, Sou would never talk about his own matters. Thus, I don't know his gender, age or professional.

He (I don't know whether it's a he or a she, so I'll just use 'he' for the time being) was someone I met during computing practical class at school. Every week, during that one information class, I'll be lazing around on the internet, and suddenly meet him on the chatboard that suddenly appears.

It feels like he's trying to talk to me. After a few times, we got along.

It looks like he's interested in hearing other people's stories.

So, like usual, I told Sou about what happened today. It looks as though he's interested in Ishikawa. I couldn't mention her real name, so I named her as 'Miss I'.

<strong>"Miss I, huh? I can tell from your conversation with her that you're one to give up halfway through."</strong>

Written on the monitor's some merciless venom. Same as usual.

<strong>"You try to act as the kind of person who won't be rattled by what others think, but you're celebrating the fact that a girl in class talk to you. In any case, you're just an ordinary middle school boy. Ahh, this is embarrassing, embarrassing. If there's an art to being a scumbag, you don't have any artistic scene."</strong>

"I don't feel that I'm a special middle school student. I never pursued the artistic either."

Speaking of which, was I celebrating? No, I guess he was slightly correct on that.

<strong>"Well, it's not like you embarrassing yourself happened merely once or twice."</strong>

"You're annoying. I know that."

<strong>"Anyway, the most important thing is your feelings. What do you think of Miss I? No, I can imagine. You're delusional, right? Scumbags are scary. There's an excess of sexual desire, but nobody to target. You'll get excited immediately once you have a target."</strong>

"..."

I reread that paragraph thrice, and out loud once. I stood up from my chair, and drank a whole cup of malt tea. After that, I went to the washroom, opened the faucet to the maximum, and washed my face with lots of water.

The reason was simple. I was trying to hide the fact that I got rattled.

Sou's conclusion was almost entirely correct. Damn it, looks like scumbags are easy to read through. Such simple creatures. Am I an insect?

Left with no choice, I reopened the chatboard, and typed in "You got a problem with that?"

<strong>"Goodness. Aren't you going to work towards being a scumbag with artistic sense? What? Are you this spineless? You're scolded and don't intend to suck up to others. All you need to do is to slap back at a cute girl wooing you. You just need to be a person who grovels to power and money, trampling on the weak."</strong>

"Wait. What's artistic about that?"

<strong>"Everything."</strong>

"Are you serious?"

<strong>"Seriously, I'm worried about you. Which one are you? Do you want to be liked by girls, or not? Are you going to act cool for the rest of your life?"</strong>

"I get what you're trying to say. No, actually, I don't exactly understand half of it."

<strong>"I see, half. Well, your middle school life is already halfway over. Whatever you are troubled, you can talk to me. After all, you should be thinking about what you want to do with your life, right?"</strong>

"Mmm..."

You say what I want to do with my life, huh?

I stared at the screen, pondering. However, I couldn't think of how to reply. I got nothing.

"Speaking of which, how old are you, Sou? A high school student? Working? I feel like you've been watching from above." I changed the topic.

<strong>"I'm shocked. You're trying to change the topic."</strong> o the reply. I could sense a sigh from the other end of the monitor, <strong>"I'll talk about myself one day."</strong>

Sou avoided my question, and logged out.

Who's the one running away? I retorted to no one in particular.

†

Sometimes, I would wonder, if it was Masaya, what would he think.

Or, if I asked him, what suggestions would he give?

If possible, please tell me.

Tell me, who's on the same side as him.

†

It happened 5 days later.

Is there a specific term to it? Like, everyone experiences this kind of thing before, right? A particular phenomenon of not meeting a particular person before until a particular coincidence, only for the encounters to suddenly spike up.

Anyway, Ishikawa and I met again.

It might be surprising, but I would visit the Planetarium outside the city once or twice per month after school. What I want to say here isn't that I have interest in stars, or that I'll go out just to see the night sky; I couldn't remember how to use the Constellation plate. In other words, I just like the Planetarium. Don't ask me why. In the end, I can only contact those with the scumbag personality only I have.

Only when I'm in this round building can I forget everything.

And I'll even forget the wish to forget everything.

Thus, it was completely a coincidence that I met Ishikawa in the Planetarium.

She was on the other side of the projector. It was only when I was shown on it that I noticed. Maybe it's because it wasn't the weekend, because the science center was almost desolated, but there were few visitors. Ishikawa and I were the only ones in the Planetarium. The little hemisphere shown on the ceiling projected a countless number of stars, simply swirling around us.

The Milky Way passed by behind her, showing her face.

Something seemed to be refracting light on Ishikawa's face.

Pondering what that thing was exactly, the projection ended when I realized.

"Why are you crying?"

So I asked. Unlike at school, I did not stammer.

Ishikawa probably noticed me at a certain point, for she didn't look shocked.

"I wasn't."

She answered with a serious expression.

I couldn't understand her.

The tears are already trickling down her cheeks, and she still would not admit.

"You look like you're crying though?"

"Yo-you're wrong about that."

"Did you just hiccup?"

"Just your imagination."

"You dare swear to the Planetarium god?"

"Of course."

But she stubbornly refused to admit. I clenched my fists firmly, and put them hard on my knees, shivering.

I was the first to break. Even if I did prove that Ishikawa cried, it didn't do me any good. Ishikawa didn't cry. Isn't this good? Ahh, such a wonderful world.

So I got up from the stalls, went around the projector, and towards her. I then took out a slab of chocolate from my bag, and handed it to her.

"For you. You won't cry when you eat something." I added on.

<em>Couldn't I have said something more interesting?</em> I really wanted to retort.

Of course, Ishikawa didn't talk, merely receiving the chocolate from me.

Seeing this, I turned my back on her, and quickly left. It was too embarrassing to do something unbefitting of me.

But nobody could continue to do anything unfitting of themselves, right?

<em>I really did something rare,</em> I thought as I headed for the exit.

At this moment, she grabbed my right hand, and tugged at me. Her warmth reached my hand.

I turned back, and found Ishikawa with tears in her eyes as she stared at me. Then, she spoke with a teeny-weeny voice, like a ghost.

In this quiet dome, her voice alone echoed.

"I really envy you, Sugawara..."

That's a lie.

I quickly understood that it was a lie. She merely said it on a whim. Ishikawa couldn't possibly admire a scumbag like me. Of all the people in the world, even if they do amass a large sum of money for the kids in Africa, they won't care about me. There's no reason for me to be envied.

I'll be laughed at by Sou. As he said, scumbags are simpletons.

But, but even so, even though it was such an obvious lie.

&nbsp;

Ranked 369th on the Human Power Test.

A scumbag nobody will like.

And Ishikawa, who cried saying that she 'envied' me.

That was the encounter I had in the Planetarium outside the city, two months before Masaya Kitshitani died.

What did I choose?

 

Thanks again for translating this, this series is surely interesting!

Didn't expect the narrator to change the PoV to Sugawara's, suddenly the character seems a lot more believable than it was at first... Looking really forward to how this will turn out!

*hoping your moods for translating this come more often* No rush though, take your time.

(At times like this I feel really sad due to the existence of the like limit... *pouts*)

Edit: Yay! My likes are back!

 

Chapter 2 is done. Adding this illustration

http://imgur.com/a/sVCc1

Imgur doesn't seem to work for me for some reason, so...

The next chapter will feature a 3rd POV.

 

This is the most interesting jp novel i read in this year... thx for translate it.

 

Alright, looking at schedule, I think I can finish the entire volume in another 2 months.

(And no, I didn't post this because of the same old generalizations of 'JP novels are trash' threads)

 

Two months later, and I've still yet to go past first gear...

Chapter 3 - Secret Weapon

It's time for the secret weapon to show up.

"Sayopon, Sayapon, Sayopon, Sayapon, Sayopon, Sayapon, Sayopon, Sayapon, Sayopon, Sayapon." So I kept calling at the phone, probably about dozens of times, yet she didn't reply. Guess I'll continue call a hundred times.

That was because I was left with no other choice. I called all the students in the class register, and requested them to give me any possible clubes, but they all rejected me, which left me in a rut.

However, I compiled all the events I knew of in chronological, and realized that with the given information, I couldn't deduce the truth of the matter.

1. The Principal started this weird Human Power Test.

2. In November, there was a bullying revealed on the internet that was started by Sugawara, and his four classmates, Masaya included, were bullied.

3. The school and the mothers of the victims decided to punish Sugawara, supervise him, and tried their best to isolate him from Masaya.

4. In December, Masaya was mentally ill, and killed himself.

How am I supposed to deduce? This lack of information nearly had me lashing out.

Most inscrutable however is between points 3 and 4. How did Taku Sugawara drive Masaya to despair? Nobody should be able to tell Sugawara off if this isn't cleared up.

Left with a derth of options, I decided to ask the Secret Weapon Sayo, often known as 'Sayopon' despite being unable to contact her. Sayo and I went to different collegs, but we're childhood friends, and from elementary school, to middle school to high school, she often helped me out, since I wasn't good at studies.

"Shut up already! Stop leaving messages for me like they're curses, you idiot!"

After muttering Sayopon for a hundred times or so, she finally picked up. It's that usual coarse voice.

And why have you been calling me 'Sayopon' every time you called me?"

"Sayopon, listen, Sayopon."

"Are you ignoring me now?"

"You know about what happened to my brother, right? I'm currently investigating that thing now..."

After that, I told everything I learned from the paparazzi and my parents to Sayo. I just told her everything without sorting out my intel, and the more I said, the more I got confused, "I see." but Sayo said that once she heard everything from me.

"Well, I've been watching the news, so I have a rough idea of what's going on."

"I want to hear out what you think, Sayopon."

I said, but there was no voice from the receiver. It seems she's frustrated too, and soon, there was a heavy sigh,

"This is just a view from a normal outsider." Sayo added as a premise, <strong>"But logically, Masaya and the others shouldn't have been bullied by Sugawara, right?"

"...What do you mean?" I asked, feeling all confused.

"Eh, don't get angry with me. I just feel that someone like Masaya can't possibly be scared of a mere middle school kid. I'm guessing that Sugawara said the controversial line "Bullying is an invention" to pull attention to himself. The mastermind should be someone else, right?"

"Mastermind...there's such a possibility. But, there's something obvious weird here."

I didn't think it was a bad theory, but I have a doubt.

"Assuming that there's a mastermind, why did Masaya only mention Sugawara in his will?"

Right, and that's where things gets tricky. Assuming that Masaya never saw through the possibility of a mastermind, this boy, the representative called Taku Sugawara had been bullying them 'alone'. Also, this middle school kid was supervised heavily during the month before Masaya killed himself.

I was at a dead end, and sighed. Sayo too seemed to be the same, and she let out a bear-like grumble.

"Ah, I don't understand. Not at all. Hey, besides Masaya, the other three who were bullied did testify to the school, right? What did they say?"

"They said that they were bullied by Taku Sugawara, but weren't sure about what happened after the bullying, that's all. They seemed to be scared of something, and said that they could only reveal this."

"I see..."

"I guess we can only hear from the other students involved. I wonder if anyone's willing to tell me the relationship between Taku Sugawara and Masaya."

"Yeah...Taku Sugawara..."

Sayo paused for a moment, and silent down. Looks like she's in deep thought. There are moments where she would suddenly go quiet and retreat into her own world. I couldn't hear anyone else's voice, so I could only spend the time tapping the cover of my smartphone.

After some moments, "Alright!" There was a determined voice from the other end of the phone.

"Sanae, let me assist you in investigating this."

I could hear Sayo's breathing from the other end.

"I played with Masaya a few times myself. I can't just let it end like this."

"Ohh, what's the matter? I was about to ask you for help anyway."

"Eh...I do have some thoughts on this matter myself, and, it just feels that..." Sayo seemed hesitant to continue talking, and said, "Most importantly, I'm worried about you."

Given her usual feisty personality, these words were overly tender from my childhood friend, and it surprised me.

"...Sorry to worry you."

"...I am worried. How can I not, when my childhood friend's younger brother died? You're not forcing any smiles now, right?"

"Hm, a little."

"Don't force yourself. Anything you're unhappy about, tell me. You looked gloomy from your SNS tweets since last year. Hey, I heard you broke up. "

"Oh...thanks. But it's fine now. What's more important is about Masaya."

"I see...then I'll get a little serious."

I could imagine Sayo showing a fearless smile on the other end of the phone.

Right, I'm glad to have a friend who knows me so well. At the same time, I got a powerful helper.

I felt some warmth rising in my heart, and after thanking her, I hung up.
Since the day Sayo decided to help me, two days pass, and again, she called me,


“As expected, calling the parents will only get me rejected. However, it seems some kids are willing to say something.”

Sayo started talking without greeting me “Yo.”. However, what she’s talking about was what I was most hopeful about.

“Eh? That means?”

“Going smoothly. We’ll be meeting at the station after class today. Will you be going?”

“Of course! As expected of my secret weapon.”

I asked Sayo the details, and it seemed the student from Kuzegawa Second Middle School was the friend of her friend’s brother, Masaya’s classmate. I never expected that she could just get someone appropriate to ask. As expected, she had the social connections I never had.

“I never thought he would agree. If it was me, he would have been shocked and rejected me once I admit that I’m Masaya’s older sister…”

“Seriously, you’re way too honest here…got to watch your tongue there.” Sayo noted in surprise, “But we can ask him without any other adults around. Maybe the students in the class might know something.”

“Hm, so instead of a bullying that’s a complete mystery…”

“Leaving it to you. It’s your job to figure out the truth.”

I nodded, thanked her again, and hung up the phone.

I brewed some coffee, and walked towards the living, intending to sort out what I’m going to ask next. At this point, I’ve moved back from my apartment to my old house. There’s basically no lessons in the second semester of college junior year, and it’s better not to live far away from Kuzegawa Second Middle School if I want to investigate on Masaya.

So I thought as I tried to remember where the coffee beans at home where, and went downstairs. I found mom seated in the living room. She had her long hair combed behind her head, facing the computer, frantically typing something.

“Mom, what are you doing?”

I asked, and mom lifted her head, showing a fatigued smile.

“Internet.”

“What?”

“It’s a meeting on how to improve the school’s education, but the name’s undecided. We need to get Kuzegawa Second Middle School to work hard, so that sacrifices like Masaya won’t happen again. To do that, you know that I have to show up.”

It’s true that the mother of student who killed himself will be more than convincing enough. Mom’s intending to change this school, not even digging her heels into the fact that Masaya’s gone. She’s typing with much unfamiliarity. I can tell from her sidelong face that she’s a lot more aged than when Masaya died.

“We have to punish Taku Sugawara severely. Judgement of the devil is needed.”

She was muttering furious as she tapped at her words.

“Masaya’s definitely killed by him. However, my battle with the devil is not over yet. I’m definitely not going to forgive you. I’m definitely going to rip you apart, drive you to despair, kill you, and mangle you.”

Such words did not seem to come from my mom, and I was a little terrified.

This caused me to recall Taku Sugawara’s words,

“The revolution has yet to end.”

Has this incident ended already? Or is it just beginning?

I had a bad feeling about this.



The person Sayo introduced me to was called Kouta Katou.

The first impression of him was that he’s a beansprout. It’s the first time I’ve ever met such a person with a befitting nickname, and I really wanted to change the location from a café to a beef bowl rice shop. No, got to buck up! He has long, slender limbs, a face drained of blood, mouth half opened, and uneven glasses. No matter how I looked at him, he’s the Beansprout.

I brought him to an old looking café with lots of renovation. It’s a place that sells six hundred Yen for a cup of coffee. Inside the shop, we sat at a dim place where some light could shine into.

He ordered some hot lemonade, and I ordered hot coffee. Once our drinks were served, I ended the chat, and started asking,

“First, anything goes, but do you mind giving me your impression of those to? What are the impressions Kishitani and Sugawara gives you, Kadou?”

First, I started off with this. “Yes.” So Katou whispered.

I would first start asking from the easy one. I had a vague impression of Taku Sugawara’s horrendous personality, but I wanted to affirm this for myself. Also, I didn’t know how Masaya’s like at school.

“Masa, ahh, that’ Masaya Kishitani’s nickname. To put it simply, that guy’s very popular. If there’s any activity, he’ll definitely be the one organizing, and his grades are a notch above us. Everyone really look up to that guy. Ahh, of course, I really respect him too. I never thought that he would be a bullying victim. It just felt like he had nothing to do with the bullying, on either side.”

“Well, as to be expected.”

This was as I thought. It’s no different from when Masaya was at home.

“Then what about Sugawara?”

Katou frowned, and slowly said,

“Hm, no, Sugawara…to put it. He’s, not really a gloomy guy, but probably not a cheery one. I don’t think he’s really hated, but in any case, he just doesn’t have any presence. He’s probably the least impressive guy in the class.”

“Hm?”

It’s unexpected. From what I heard from the news and school, he should be a Middle School student who’s more arrogant, eccentric. I reached my hand out, cutting off Katou’s words, and said,

“What do you mean unimpressive? Is he different from the media’s portrayal of him being the demon?”

“Yeah, he’s really scary. We don’t know what he’s thinking. But he’s not some delinquent of a student. He’s dumb, bad at sports. He’s the type who likes to read manga and novels alone during noon break.”

“And…anything else?”

“Yeah, and also, he just seem uninterested in the people around him. Or I should say, he never had any interest in others. Even if we did talk to him, we would just get ignored. That’s different from anthrophobia. He might really be the devil. Just gives a bad feeling.”

After that, Katou emphasized on Taku Sugawara “He’s really disgusting”, and quenched his throat with the hot lemonade.

During that time, I kept looking at the notebook, and recalled the difference in the Sugawara depicted. Taku Sugawara should be the devil, “You alone won’t be enough to stop the revolution.” But was he really such an unimpressive person? What’s with this difference?

I was really curious about that. But I left the deductions for later—it’s time for the actual topic.

I merely took a few notes, and took a deep breath, inhaling oxygen into my brain, and decided to sort out the truth. I concentrated, and held my ball-point pen, saying, “Then…mind telling me more about the bullying?”

But compared to how enthusiastic I was, Katou’s answer was very vague. In an apologetic manner, he answered,

“…I’m not very sure on the bulying at all.”

Katou lowered his head, and muttered.

“What happened? Are you saying that nothing seemed to have happened ever since Sugawara hit someone with a water bottle?”

I tried asking with a more specific question.

But again, he shook his head,

“No, that’s not it. During that time too, nobody knows everything from beginning to end. Nobody actually saw the bullying, whether it’s before the bullying actually happened, or after.”

“…Eh?”

The notebook in my hands nearly fell off, but I barely managed to grab it in time. I leaned my body over the table, staring at Katou’s face.

And then, I blankly asked,

“What do you mean? The content of the online posts includes forcing people to eat dead bees, needles stabbed into the back…”

“I said that nobody saw all these. Nobody realized that anyone was bullied, let alone saw it. Before those contents were uploaded onto the internet, no, even after they were uploaded onto the internet, nobody realized it. Nobody in class figured out that there was bullying until Sugawara beat Kishitani up with a water bottle.”

What’s going on?

Even I got confused.

One guy bullied four popular people without anyone noticing? Is that even possible?

It’s really ridiculous. The students would have been worried the moment the popular ones showed even a grimace, and there should be a lot of people they could discuss this with. It’s impossible.

It was vexing. I took two sugar blocks next to me, and dropped them into the coffee. It’ll become really sweet, but it’s fine since I have a sweet tooth. At the very least, I could get my mind clear.

After a sip of coffee, I asked Katou,

“…Was there really bullying?”

“There are a few signs, so it’s possible. Masa’s gym clothes were cut up before…”

“Signs, huh?”

“Masa, Shun, Taka and Kouji all insisted that they were bullied, and Sugawara admitted it…given how the victims and bully admitted, I’m thinking that there was.”

At this point, all I could do was sigh.

I thought I could get closer to the truth, but I failed completely. Of course, it’s not Katou’s fault, but it was so deflating.

With that, I couldn’t figure out any clues in the victim’s house, the email, and the cellphone. It’s no wonder the police and school had given up on that. There’s no definitive proof that Taku Sugawara drove Masaya to despair.

Since Katou didn’t know anything about the bullying, there’s nothing more to ask about this. All I had to do was to affirm what happened. It’s like I’m cleaning up after the operation failed.

“Then, well, please tell me what happened after the hurting, after Sugawara beat up Kishitani with the water bottle. It’s said that Sugaara was isolated.”

“Well Sugawara was already alone. Ah, but it seemed he got bullied by some girls. He enraged Masa’s fans, or friends. But anyway, there’s something more painful there, right? The TV stations will air the bad parts of the school…”

“Hm? Bad parts?”

And then, Katou continued on, hesitant to speak,

“For an entire week, Sugawara was forced to kneel, and then paraded around the school.”

“Huh?” Again, I could only eke out these words, and remain rooted there. I didn’t know anything about this at all. It was an unexpected message. No, I should have heard about this matter, more or less.

It’s said that the school and guardians punished Sugawara severely.

But nobody told me it was so severe, so unjust.

“I heard these were all decided by the school, by the guardians. For an entire week, he was forced to kneel during noon break, from the classrooms of the third year to the first year. It’s sad, isn’t it? They paraded the bully around the entire school in front of the students.”

“Eh, but why did they do this? Ah, just tell me what you know, Katou.”

“They’re probably scared of Sugawara, I guess? He bullied four of our classmates without anyone noticing, anyone knowing. As long as all the students remembered how Sugawara looked like, everyone can watch over him.”

It sounded logically. I could get having the students watch over Sugawara, watch the bullying the teachers couldn’t tell. Was there a need to parade him in front of everyone though?

Was this reasonable? This was way too—

“Please tell me what happened after that.” I suppressed my feelings, and asked, “So, from the kneeling to Masaya, ah, please tell me what happened until Kishitani killed himself?”

“Nothing special, all I know is that Masa’s been acting strange. It felt like he was just hiding from others. He didn’t seem to smile much.”

“Was it because Sugawara did something?”

“I told you nobody else knew…everyone’s all Masa’s friend, Sugawara’s enemy. But nobody knew why Masa broke down. The only explanation is that Sugawara did something…”

Broke down. I didn’t like this description at all, but I wasn’t so impatient as to throw a fit here. I continued to ask,

“What did the people who saw it do?”

“Of course they got worried. The red wounds really appeared to be hurting. Everyone bullied Sugawara, and did their best to isolate Masaya and the others from Sugawara. The whole school was protecting Masaya, protesting against Sugawara.”

“Everyone…nobody stood on Sugawara’s side?”

“A-actually, it’s a little excessive to say that. There must be some who would pity that Sugawara.”

Pity? To Sugawara?

I tried asking, “Why?” my apologies, my tone’s a little rigid. I had a feeling there would be something big.

Katou seemed to have difficulty saying something as he lowered his head,

“Well, those seniors and juniors who didn’t know anything might think this way. The impact of Sugawara’s kneeling was way too shocking, so it’s not weird to have some misunderstand. Also, there are already some outside our class who hates Masa.”

“Hm, why hate Kishitani?”

Katou said,

“Masa’s mom is really famous in the school. She’s one of those monster parents who show up on the news. She often complained about the content of the lessons, how the exams are graded. Those that know about these are really disgusted by it.”

I never heard of this before!

“…Is Kishitani’s mother such a cruel person?” I did my best to suppress my feelings as I continued. This had been my feeling for much of today’s hearing.

“Hm, that’s because she’s the vice president of the PTA, you know? Masa himself seem to really hate her. She would grumble whenever the teacher criticized Masa for forgetting to bring something, or even a graze. That graze could have been inflicted at home, but it’s blamed on the sports department. Masa will hide some things from her, but if she found some excuse, she’ll come running to complain to the school.”

“…I see.”

And so, I heard such terrifying news.

My throat felt a little parched.

At the very least, when I was still in high school, mom was still normal. During the three years when I entered college and left him, mom’s personality changed after drastically.

My mind recalled mom grumbling at Taku Sugawara as she sat before a table a few hours ago.

What happened? Was the key involving my mom?

I had to ask her. To go to mom. She’s really involved in this incident; no way was she just someone normally involved. And more importantly, I had my own issues too.

I thanked Katou, and left the seat.

Then, he finally asked something,

“Erm, did I say something weird? You seemed strange midway through this.”

“It’s fine, you don’t have to mind about this. This big sister here acts weird once every five minutes.”

“Ah, I see…then can I ask another question? You’re investigating this incident, right? You should know about Masaya’s girlfriend. Did you hear anything from the news?”

I slung my bag over my shoulder, and said,

“No, all I know is that three days before Kishitani killed himself, she fell from the stairs…and hasn’t regained consciousness, right?”

“Yes…I too, only know this. Some said the culprit’s Taku Sugawara, but back then, he was being told off in the staff room…”

Right, I let this go as I didn’t know what had this got to do with Masaya, but there were a lot of mysteries.

Masaya’s lover rolled down the stairs three days before Masaya killed himself, and she lost consciousness.

This can be said to be one of the reasons why Masaya killed himself, but it may have been just an accident. In any case, my biggest priority would be to investigate Masaya.

I thanked him again, and left.



I didn’t head back home directly,

For I had yet to clear out my thoughts.

I didn’t get any clues on the bullying, but unexpectedly, I obtained a really important intel. Sugawara was forced to kneel in front of everyone as punishment, and the one who became the monster parent, Masaya and my mom.

So to sort out these messages, I went to the fashion shop I often visited in high school, the bread shop I really liked, the shopping area before the station, wandering aimlessly. It just felt that for every step I took, the venue changed, and I was wondering if I was even walking straight. Eh? Which side’s south?

What got me back to normal was a phone call from Sayo.

The moment I heard her voice, I started telling her everything I heard from Katou. Sayo listened listening, “Is it really alright?” and with a calm voice, she asked me.

“It’s fine. I feel a lot better after saying it out.” I answered. “Recovery ended. Time to begin.”

“If you can do such a stupid thing, I guess you’re fine.”

“I might not be suited to be a detective. My head’s in a complete mess.”

“We already know that centuries ago. Next, about your mom.”

Sayo calmly raised her opinion on what I said,

“…”

But I couldn’t bring myself to agree immediately.

“Sanae, what is it?”

“…No, it’s nothing. Hm, mom might have hidden something from me. There’s no way she would have done something so weird like parade him around as punishment.”

Rooted to the spot, I nodded firmly.

There’s a lot of mysteries.

—Nobody realized the bullying until the hurting.

—After the hurting, Sugawara gained attention as he knelt down in front of the entire school.

—And also, Masaya who killed himself.

Even so, I was slowly approaching the truth of the matter.

As long as I could unravel the mystery, it’ll be fine. I could start investigating from the contact I had with Katou. Since mom’s really involved in this, I could start here. I’ll get close to the crux from many ways.

“It’s just a bit, but the truth of this matter is going to float. You need to keep working harder, Sanae.”

Sayo’s encouragement came from the other end of the phone.

To be honest, I was really trying my best to be energetic, but there was some uneasiness. Whenever I approached the truth of this matter, my heart would churn out a feeling I should not have. I could only try my best not to mind about it.

Regarding this matter, for every little bit I knew.

I would know more about Masaya.

As this useless older sister, I would—

“Right, I’ll do my best.” But even so, I too made up my mind, “It’s for Masaya’s sake.”

If I kept thinking about the uneasy part, there would be no end to it.”

“Hm, nice attitude.” My childhood friend chuckled, “But before that.”

Sayo thought of something, and said,

“Sanae, send me the pictures. The pictures.”

“Hm?”

“Masaya, his bullied friends, and Taku Sugawara. There should be a group photo or something, right? I do want to have a look. If we’re talking about bullying, the appearance is also an important factor, right?”

“Ahh, right. Hold on. I’m hanging up.”

I sent the photo to Sayo. The photo of Masaya and friends laughing together, and in a corner of a group photo, Masaya looking bored as he looked at the lens. The contrast between them was accidental, but I sent the two photos over.

Sayo quickly responded.

I picked up the phone, and she spoke with a tone far more serious as compared to usual.

Which was,

“I met him before.”

She said.

Of course, I asked who she met. Sayo immediately answered,

“I met Taku Sugawara before…”

In other words, she was really involved in this matter.

Involved in the revolutionary war of Taku Sugawara.



It was the second day when the mutilated cat carcass was sent to our house

And the message ‘the revolution shall continue was attached.

As expected, that thing started.

Slowly, but surely.

 

Only found this now -_-' it's seems I need to lurking in thread more eh
Anyway thanks for translating this interesting LN

 

Chapter 4: Revolution

I knew nothing about Ishikawa.

Till the very end, I did not know why Ishikawa cried at the observatory.

I suppose there’s an emotion I can’t imagine, that if I interfered out of personal curiosity, I would probably be heavily involved.

Thus, I did not dig further into this, but left the scene. In other words, I ran away.

For I did not want to be hurt.

Trash.

This term was so appropriate in describing my actions.

†

If I have a chance to defend my action, I’ll say that I wasn’t like this all the time.

A year ago.

I took the same bus ride with Masaya.

Masaya Kishitani’s a genius everyone loved, and was already the central figure of the class the moment he entered middle school, males and females always smiling him. Back then, there was a sports festival, and as the last relay runner, he easily overturned the deficit and won. Back then, everyone was talking, “that’s Masaya of Class One”, and he was in his most popular phase. Nobody would have the sense to disagree here, right? Other than idiots?

Even I’m really awed by him. Not just once, but twenty five times of awed. To me, who’s untalented in any way possible, he’s someone I should be hating, but that’s not the case for him. Looking down on Masaya made me feel extremely small; he’s that kind of special.

It just so happened that I was seated next to Masaya on the bus.

“Oh, Sugawara. Can I sit next to you?”

I sat beside me, giving off the smell of some refreshing hair conditioner. With a very natural attitude, he just talked to me; it’s almost a supernatural art.

In other words, he intended to talk to me.

“Speaking of which, I hardly talked to you. We never talked at all since the Opening Ceremony, did me?”

“Well, yeah.”

He was overly casual, and I instinctively answered. He had a power I couldn’t ignore.

“Of course, isn’t it? Ahh, it’s really shocking and rare. We never got assigned to the same group, and you always vanish after school or during noon break. Club activities are on hold today, so I got this chance to talk to you.”

“Eh, but I’m just a weak existence that will vanish at any given moment now, right?”

“Don’t just disappear man. There are still people on this world who want to know you.”

“From which planet?”

“Earth. What’s with that answer? What are you normally thinking of?”

“Hungry kids in Africa or something.”

“O-oh, that sounds amazing.”

Of course, I wouldn’t say that as a resident living in a first world country on this world, I’m always hating this world.

But Masaya seemed to have misunderstood in thinking that I’m expanding beyond borders to observer history, and nodded away,

“You’re amazing. I got a different view of you now. If you’re thinking about such things since Middle School, someone like you is going to get a Nobel Prize award down the road.”

“You’re thinking too much into this, Kishitani. I heard that you feel anxious whenever you see people hold chopsticks improperly. Is that correct?”

“It is, it is. Well, to explain it, it’s probably because my sister’s very clumsy, and that I ended up really picky about it. OCD? Anyway, it’s a weird personality.”

He just seemed like a difficult person to deal with. As I thought about this, I suddenly noticed something.

I was conversing normally with a classmate. To others, it might have been something really normal, but it’s abnormal to me.

Thus, I couldn’t help but stare at Masaya; he tilted his head in confusion, but I kept staring at him. In order, I looked at his nose, eyes, ears, mouth, hair and mole, and understood something. It’s been a while since I got interested in someone, I guess?

Masaya Kishinitai had a special ability.

The definite god-given ability to attract other people to him.

“Hey, what’s with you? You saw a ghost behind me or something?”

I kept staring blankly at him until he spoke up. His ability itself startled me. Or rather, experiencing the ability to notice others left me really startled.

It’s like I’m making contact with aliens.

I couldn’t even call myself trash, and Masaya’s a genius from the moment he was born.



During the two months I conversed with Masaya on the bus, I reverted back to being a normal person.

If anyone spoke to me, I would try my best to answer, and as I ate proper meals, I would try chatting with the girl before me. During class, I would focus on taking notes, never forgetting my homework, and always submitting on time.

I suppose my feelings towards Masaya were jealousy, envy and respect, and that encounter with him left such a big impression on me.

But as I said, it just lasted for another two months.

“Those guys that get high scores on the Human Power Test get cocky and annoying as a result, right?”

It happened during noon, and I was in a corner of the classroom, and so happened to overhear a chat amongst girls.

I was really reading, and even though I was nearby, they never minded about this.

“Class three in particular, I heard someone just handed over her test card to others.”

“The test card for the Human Power Test? Wah, that’s pretty high, isn’t it?”

“Right right. 12th. She’s boasting around with it. How shameless.”

“Eh? What’s her name?”

“That Kotomi Ishikawa has a screw loose in her head, don’t you think?”

And the boring gossip started to veer off course.

“Want to tease her?”

Finally someone suggested this.

With a nonchalant look, she said such a cruel line, and it left my back shivering.

So I instinctively stood up. They widened their eyes, rooted to the spot, and I stepped towards them. To be honest, I was terrified by their stares. Ever since young, I was always given such condescending looks.

Perhaps I wanted to get rid of my nickname as trash, and become a hero like Masaya.

“You girls are horrible.” I summoned my courage to say that, “Just rumors, and you think up of such a stupid plan. It’s an eyesore.”

They held down the hems of their blazers, and appeared to be trying to say something, but with more stares gathered upon them, they could only scamper away from the classroom.

I thought I was fighting against evil.

(I was nervous, but I did express myself…maybe I might get everyone’s approval.)

So I had such an optimistic thought.

I stood in place, and had a deep breath, returned to my seat, and continued reading.

However, reality was not that pretty.

Days later, we had a Human Power Test at the end of the second semester.

During the first semester, I was 297th for the Human Power Test.

For the second semester, I was 345th.

It was the complete opposite. I was stunned by this slide in results, holding the Test Card that was given to me, and dumbfounded for moments.

I sat in a corner of the classroom, staring at this number. Suddenly a boy went behind me.

He peered at my grades, and I instinctively turned away. Kouta Katou gave me a look of pity.

“So it slid…” he said, “A few people suggested not to vote for Sugawara.”

How kind of them.

My response probably wasn’t too drastic, and Katou, feeling grieved for me, consoled me,

“You scolded a group of girls, right? That infuriated them, and they went about spreading unfounded rumors, like ‘you peeped into the girls toilet’ or ‘you molested them’, or something.”

“Just for that reason…?”

“Yes.”

“Oh…that’s stupid.”

“Right. But, I can understand their feelings, of wanting to bullying someone who gets high scores in the Human Power Test…” Katou added with sympathy. “I’m not talking with you again, Sugawara. I don’t want to get involved…bye then.”

Katou hurriedly left the scene, so as to avoid having others realize that he chatted with me.

His actions allowed me to realize something.

I see. No matter how much I worked hard or devoted myself, all I can appear to be is awkward, embarrassing, doing foolish things. I thought I was gracefully swimming freestyle in a lake under the moonlight, but I’m just an abandoned puppy struggling in the drain.

And after all I did, others found me repulsive.

Thus, I gave up on working hard. It’s pointless for someone like me to work hard. I should try my best not to attract attention, and become someone unimpressive.

In my eyes, the others have lost their luster.



And so, Masaya himself stopped the harassment of Ishikawa. I always felt that I was worshipping him. My courage would only stoke the flames of their malic, completely meaningless.

Through this incident, I learned two things.

One, I can’t be like Masaya.

Second, it’s better to be trash.

And so, I ended up not caring about others again.

I decided to continue living as trash.

Or at least, that was supposed to be the case.


“‘I’ seem to have some troubles.”

I spent two whole days thinking of the reason why she would cry, yet I had no idea at all, or rather, I couldn’t have, as my mind’s always thinking about random stuff. It’s no different from before.

I was a normal person for two months or so, but that was a year ago. After that, I became trash again. She’s someone of a different world from me, just like how Masaya’s an alien to me.

Thus, I asked my friend Sou, who might come in handy. Inside this lonely room, I awaited his reply,

“Hm, I’m not sure. I never knew her. If you want to discuss this with me, you can be more detailed.”

In the end, even he couldn’t help me out. I didn’t intend to spill the details. I didn’t want to talk to others about Ishikawa that easily.

Sou replied with a question mark, one that had a sigh in it.

“A troublesome personality you have. I can only say that you are becoming ever so conscious of her.

“So I guess that’s it, huh?”

“Right, to a point where you have a crush on her. It is heartbreaking though, to say the least.”

I showed no intention to refute. Crush, maybe he got it.

“But for your sake, I do advice you to know how to exercise restraint.” Sou’s words showed up on the screen. “You are living as trash, not caring about what others say, but that’s because you won’t get hurt, right? By becoming trash that goes nowhere, you try to guess her thoughts, and in the end, you’re the one hurting yourself. Looking at things objectively, the chances of her liking you is miniscule. Is there anyone who liked you when you don’t know how to dress yourself, held hands, and bad at sports?”

I couldn’t type back in refute. I recalled the foolish futility I did a year ago.

Over this period, Sou continue to say without holding back,

“It is time for you to make a decision. Sugawara, you should tidy yourself, dress yourself well, and while maintaining your personality, learn how to woo girls for her sake…if you want to be someone normal, you have to go all the way. However, if you never worked hard and selfishly hoped that she will like you, this is disrespectful to her.”

“…”

“You have to choose between being trash, and being a real human.”

Sou pleaded for me to make a decision. I knew he was right, but, it just felt so surreal. I couldn’t make a decision.

I felt breathless, and closed the chat window. I shouldn’t have discussed this with him.

So I told myself, and I left the computer.

After that, I started thinking to myself.

Kotomi Ishikawa had her own troubles.

Was there anything I could do for her? No, or rather, what was I trying to do for her? “You have to choose.” So Sou cornered me, but what was I trying to do?

“Wait, huh?”

Suddenly, I tilted my head,

“Did I tell Sou my real name?”

Whatever.


Even without Sou telling me so, I knew very well.

As long as I never bothered with the stares of the people around me, I can maintain calm without. This is the fate of the one ranked 369th in the Human Power Test.

As long as I ignored others, I won’t get hurt.

It’s easier to be trash.

I understood this better than anyone else.

So when she cried and went to the school’s garbage dump, I should have pretended not to notice. Back then, I was on the third floor, and even after seeing her, I could have pretended not to notice. It was stupid of me to run over to her.

But I couldn’t ignore her.

Right, surely I had fallen for Kotomi Ishikawa.

A trash like me who goes nowhere, and she said she ‘envy’ me. Those words alone left me falling for her.


She was cutting a dolphin doll in the dumps, and it’s a pink mammal the size of a palm. I remembered that dolphin hanging on Ishikawa’s bag, and she would shake it from time to time. However, it’s cut up heartlessly. The cotton inside was exposed like organs, looking really pitiful. Ishikawa continued to cut the body of the dolphin.

At first, I went towards Ishikawa, who jumped like a little animal, shivering. However, once she noticed it was me, she looked relieved.

“So it’s you, Sugawara.”

She said with tears in her eyes. It seemed she didn’t care about me noticing her.

“Don’t scare me. I was really shocked.”

“What are you doing here?”

I went straight to the point, and saw her show a grimace. However, she gave a nonchalant look, and said, “I’m dealing with something annoying.”

“Something annoying…”

I looked at the cut up dolphin; that should have been her precious thing.

But before me, she again cut stabbed the dolphin with the scissors.

“Life really isn’t smooth sailing. It’s scary, but with mind-reading, it’ll definitely be easy.” Ishikawa continued to trample upon the doll, and said, “I won’t need to do such a thing.”

I nodded,

“Yeah. With telepathy, you might become someone rich, smooth sailing in like.”

“Eh? No, I’m not referring to money.”

“I’m just joking.”

“Ahahaha, so you can joke too, Sugawara.”

The conversation ended; I didn’t know what to say. I seemed to have lost my ability to speak. I wanted to say some nice things, so that I would be worshipped, liked by her; such selfish desires twirled around in my mind, and I didn’t know how to console her.

Like a scarecrow, I stood still, and saw her throw the scissors to the floor. And then, she collapsed weakly to the floor, cupping her knees, crying.

“I was kept in the dark.”

She said this,

“I was kept in the dark. Everyone hid this from me! Everyone’s laughing at how I don’t know anything behind my back, looking down on me, gossiping behind my back. What have I done!? I thought everyone’s on better terms.”

“…”

“I’m suffering. My Human Power Test grades will definitely slide. If they’re hiding this from me, it means that they don’t want to share secrets with me, right? I’ve been abandoned.”

“Rather than dropping by 100 ranks.”

I expressed my doubt,

“You can’t stand having your Human Power Test rank drop by 10, right?”

“Of course…the peer pressure is heavy…so heavy that it can crush me.”

She picked up the scissors, and kept cutting at her doll.

“Everyone’s saying the same thing. Mom, dad, the teachers, manga, anime, everyone’s saying ‘treasure your friends’. Even if I’m smart, I have to treasure my friends; even if I’m strong, the most important things are my friends. In that case, everyone around me is telling me ‘I’m not willing to become friends with you’—does this mean that I’m hopeless? The Human Power Test—is just an indicator.”

“Oh, I see.”

“Why must I be treated this way? Penalized, envied, discriminated, I had enough of this! I don’t want attention.” She vented her frustrations, “I’m scared of being harassed like last year…”

“…”

“I don’t want to be treated badly, like being glared at, people clicking their tongues at me…they think I deserve having my Human Power Test slide, and they’ll look down on me…this pains me.”

Like a kid, Ishikawa gave a weak voice.

Seeing this, I was feeling peeved,

“I know this…”

I blurted this accidentally, but Ishikawa did not seem to have heard this. With a perplexed look, she looked up at me.

Why are you giving me such a look, Ishikawa? I know your suffering. I did summon my courage to fight that evil, but you didn’t know.

I had an urge to express my dissatisfaction, and thinking about the past, I felt pain insider my heart. However, I saw a few cuts on Ishikawa’s hands, and was left speechless. I thought it was because of inappropriate handling of the scissors that got her hurt. Ishikawa kept exerting force, and the wounds couldn’t help, her palms becoming red.

Looking down at this, I pointed my fingers at my chest, felt my heartbeat, and continued,

“In that case, just give up.”

I said the words that were stuck in my heart.

“What’s wrong with being trash? What’s wrong with being hated? If you’re going to keep being scared of others, living in pain, you won’t be able to come to school. You might as well ignore your friends; it’s easier for you to live on this world this way.”

“How can I do this?” She ignored my words, and shook her head in pain, “Over the past 14 years, I have been forcing a smile like a clown, making others laugh with silly antics, living for my friends.”

“But if this keeps up, you’ll crumble, Ishikawa. Didn’t you say that you envy me? I’m worried about you. I…” At that instantly, I was hesitant, but I forced myself to spoke, “But I like you. I don’t want you to continue suffering.”

I tried my best to convey my thoughts to her. My cheeks got hot, and I really wanted to dip head first into icy water. However, this wasn’t the time to think about strange things, so I turned my eyes to her.

For a moment, Ishikawa stopped cutting the doll, and soon intended to pick up the scissors. However, I picked it up, and threw it into the dump. She could only cup her knees and remained still. If not for her wide eyes, I would have assumed that she fell asleep.

I could hear the cries of the baseball girl, and soon, I could hear dribbling sounds from the basketball club in the gym. That’s the kind of space we were in, as we remained silent for quite a while. I sat next to Ishikawa, looking up at the sky; the sky was gloomy, like a photo of my youth. Argh, damn it.

After about three minutes or so.

She finally spoke up, “I did envy you, Sugawara…” she said with a vengeance, and then, she corrected herself, “But, I found that I don’t envy you at all.”

I couldn’t understand what those words meant, and could only remain rooted there. Ishikawa stood up, and then gave me a look of pity, saying,

“There’s no way I could have envied you. You’re Sugawara, and looking around the whole world, there’s no one who envies you. Who envies you when you aren’t popular, good at studies or sports, Sugawara?”

“But Ishikawa, you just…”

“That was what I thought, but I was mistaken. You didn’t see happy at all; you always appear to be in pain, living in hell.”

Then, she cried again, and left me,

“Goodbye, Sugawara.”

I couldn’t answer her, and remained rooted at where I was.



There’s a disgusting lone strider trash with autistic social handicaps who was dumped in a matter of moments, and that’s me, Sugawara; I never went home directly. I wanted to go sing alone, and I went to the food corner in the supermarket, begging the attendant, “I’ll pay up, so just throw the food away.” Ishikawa’s words were so shocking that they left me reeling.

“I never expected to be rejected so cruelly!”

Even I would need some time to recover. That’s why I didn’t want to become a normal person. I find that living as trash without hopes for anything as something more suitable to me. A year ago, half a year ago, even now, I realized it painfully.

“Ever since the Earth was created, countless creatures as many as the stars have sex already! Why am I the only one excluded?”

As the hopeless trash, I always grumbled about such uselessness, and tucked at the fried chicken chunks at the food corner of the supermarket with toothpicks. I had a plate of fried chicken sticks, dipped with mayonnaise, so much that it’s brimming from the container. I took a sofa for six, and stuffed the oily bits into my stomach like an interrogation. How am I able to taste anything? I grumbled as I kept cursing the world.

From the bottom of my heart, I was glad that I had no superpowers. If I did, a third of humanity would have died because of my wrath.

As I thought about such unrealistic things, I ripped the chicken chunks with toothpicks.

“Yo, boy.”

A voice called out before me.

I lifted my head, and found a tall and slender woman standing before me. I couldn’t tell if she’s a college student or already a member of society, but she did seem young. The first thing I saw were the long legs most Japanese didn’t have, and then, I looked up, cowed by the sharp eyes,


“E-erm…” her eyes looked harsh, and I finally realized something. I didn’t want any trouble, so I hurriedly apologized, “So-sorry, but I have this seat. Pl-please leave.”

“No no no, that’s not what I mean. Do I look like I’m angry?”

Her eyes looked more heinous than before, and she sat down before me. She just look angry anyway, right?

“I’m just worried about what happened to you.”

“Huh?”

“There’s no way I can ignore a middle school boy crying, right?”

I put my left hand on my cheek, and the water on my face was more than I thought, even somewhat sticky. It seemed I cried lots, and I didn’t dare to look into the mirror.

“Here, have some.” The woman handed me crepes. The pink packaging rolled up the skin, and there’s a lot of strawberries inside, “You’ll feel like eating something sweet after eating just salty stuff, right?”

The cream of the crepes nearly touched my chest, and I hurriedly accepted it, thanking her.

“I just got rejected. It’s common.”

I simply explained to her. I could ignore her, but I would just think of it as thanks for the crepes.

“Like I said, I was just naïve. Just failed at that.”

“Oh, so you’re so innocent.”

“No, the motives are thoroughly impure. We’ve only spoke once or twice, but I hardly spoke to the opposite sex, and had my own thoughts, got careless, and confessed, and then I got dumped. I’m just trash, feeling awkward talking about this.”

“Oh.” She seemed disinterested, and then said, “Right, the chicken you ate couldn’t sell at all. It seemed ramen alone would have been boring, so the owner came up with a new dish, but it’s not popular at all.”

“Oh…”

“I dropped by here every day in high school, and the owner always complained about this to me. It just feels like I’m the only one who likes coming here to have fried chicken every day.”

“Eh.”

“So today, I get to know a comrade who loves eating fried chicken too. I’m touched.”

Saying that, she looked back and forth between me and the fried chicken, “As proof of our friendship, can I have one?” She pleaded me. Did she just want one? I handed her a toothpick, and she picked a mayonnaise-dipped chicken into her mouth.

Looking pleased, she wiped her mouth with the napkin on the table, “In other words.” and added,

“Even if the motives are impure, the outcome tragic, it doesn’t mean that it’s all meaningless. I love fried chicken, and I know someone else who does. Even though the owner does think of it as a failure, this fact won’t change; so you don’t need to lower yourself.”

It seemed this was what she wanted to tell me. I didn’t know what she meant at all, but thinking hard about it, the logic was weird.

“Thanks for the encouragement…but unfortunately, I don’t have any lucky encounters like snatching other people’s fried chicken or something.”

“Isn’t snatching too much of a word? It’s a show of friendship.”

“Anyway, there’s nothing meaningful that happened to me.”

“Oh, but you’re crying because you got rejected. Don’t you find it meaningful too?”

She didn’t seem to mind as she continued,

But to me, it was an unexpected outcome,

“Over the past 14 years, I never had any hopes for others.” I said, “I’m bad at studies and grades, I can’t really talk much with people, never praised for anything I did. I don’t want to be hurt, so I continue living on this world without hopes for anything. How’s someone like me supposed to hope anything for others?”

“I don’t care about the motive or process. I just admit your courage.”

The moment I heard those words, I got up immediately. I wanted to get away at that instance.

“…You can finish the rest.”

“Hm? Really? There’s a lot.”

“it’s fine…you gave me crepes after all.”

After that, I asked a question I was always wondering about,

“Are you Sou?”

“Ah? Eh? Ah? I’m Sayo.”

So I was mistaken. Of course, that guy never treated me so kindly like this lady.

I bowed to her, and turned to leave.


I knew nothing about Ishikawa.

However, there was one thing I knew.

Ishikawa was harassed before. She was scared of gaining attention from standing out too much. Despite this, she summoned her courage to talk to this lonely me.

I did have impure thoughts. My mind’s full of sex, and who knew how many times I masturbated while imagining her. I’m just a hopeless trash of a middle school boy, who had feelings completely distant from innocence.

But despite this, the indisputable fact was that I hoped to see Ishikawa smile, to protect her as she cried and shivered. And even till this point, I harbored such thoughts, that nobody, including me, could deny this thought.

So I decided to launch the revolution.


“I want happiness.”

The world’s already dyed a scarlet red as I left the shopping mall. The skies remained cloudy, but the clouds seemed to be dyed with various colors. Under the scorching scenery, I continued walking in the middle of the road. The cooling wind blew at my hair.

And then, I said my thoughts out loud,

“I want happiness as trash. Even if I’m last in the Human Power Test, I want to keep smiling. I want to donate to developing countries from a position high up. I don’t want to be scolded, and I won’t bother others even if I’m humiliated. While I’m peer-pressured into strong-arming others, I’m just going to sit back and watch. If I’m cursed with misfortunate, I’m going to live a happier life. When I’m cursed by the entire world to be jailed, I won’t commit a crime. I’m going to live happily.”

This was the last time I cried.

I continued moving towards happiness. I gobbled down the crepes in large bites, and held the remaining packaging,

“And then, I’m going to create a classroom Ishikawa and others can smile it. I’m going to show that trash can be hurry. If Ishikawa said that school is hell, I’m going to destroy this. I’m going to destroy this Human Power Test.”

I recalled the cramped classroom. Masaya, Ninomiya, Setoguchi, Komuro, Tsuda, Watabe, Ishikawa, Katou, those friends.

And I made up my mind.

“I’m going to be real, authentic trash.”

This was the one decision Taku Sugawara made in life.


Right, let’s revise this again.

If you had forgotten, please allow me to repeat, my story’s to be read in a ‘mocking’ manner. It’s just that simple.

So please look down on the shallow hopes and dreams of this middle school boy. Just make fun of me.

If anyone tried to stop me at this point, the ending to this story would have been greatly different.

But I decided to start this revolutionary war.

No matter the price I have to pay.

Even if I have to be abandoned by everyone, even if I have to be an enemy to the entire world.

 

Thanks for translating this~~

 

Chapter 5: Biggest Happiness

“I met him before.”

That boy cried because he got rejected, and that’s all Sayo knew. She just so happened to meet Sugawara when she went to her hometown.

If her memory’s correct, it seemed it was a month and half before Masaya killed himself. At this point, I had yet to understand what had that got to do with this?

Frustration due to rejection? How’s that possible? If that was the case, there should have been proper investigations. First of all, the timeframe didn’t match.

How was one person able to dominate four middle school students, including Masaya?

Without anyone notice the bullying?

Taku Sugawara was monitored.

The will, the search details, the violence, forced kneeling, internet articles, there were lots of mysteries.

And then, the infamously strange education system called the Human Power Test.

“But there’s only one thing I can do now.”

I heard from my mother, Akane Kishitani.

She was the one person who knew most about what happened after the bullying, and the one who had been watching over Taku Sugawara.


I knew very little about Akane Kishitani.

After she graduated from high school, she worked as a manager at a SME, met an older man during her working days, and got married at the age of 23. On her 26th birthday, she bought her dream home, gave birth to her eldest daughter, and lived a happy life. She could be said to be living the dream. However, when her son was about to be born six years later, her husband died of an accident.

With her parents assisting her, she worked and raised Masaya and me. Her husband’s inheritance was sufficient for us to study till college, but it seemed she kept working to fill up the void in her heart. Following that, I had memories a typical model mother, sometimes strict, sometimes kind.

And after ten years, I, as the elder daughter, started living alone. Three years passed, and I would only return home at year end or O-bon, so I had no idea of the changes that happened to her.

According to Kouta Katou, it seemed she became a monster parent, always looking for trouble with the school.


I would say, rather than feeling tense about this, I was terrified.

Yes, it’s most appropriate to describe it as this. Ever since I started investigating, I had this feeling several times, but this time, it was different.

Because, maybe…

But, how’s that possible? I wiped my uneasiness with a smile. It’s for Masaya’s sake; how could I be backing away now?

“Hey, mom.”

I started grinding the coffee beans, and carefully poured two cups. The fragrance of the coffee lingered in the room, and with a hearty feeling, I had a talk with my mom, seated before the computer. She looked back at me, giving a smile.

“Oh, what is it?”

“I’ll like to ask you for something, mom; just tell me the truth you see. Just put the façade aside, don’t think much about it, and tell me. What did Taku Sugawara do to you, mom?”

Mom’s expression immediately froze up. Seeing this, I really couldn’t help but cringe. However, I forced myself to stop thinking, and gave up on this thought.

Mom pulled a chair slightly, and went towards me. I saw the words on the monitor, and as I expected, it’s a proposal for the PTA meeting, that there’s a need for heavy punishment to avoid victims like Masaya.

“Do you really want to know?” With a kind voice, mom said, “I know you’ve been investigating this. The truth might not be useful to you though Sanae, and maybe it might cause more pain. Is this really alright?”

“Yeah, it doesn’t matter. Just tell me whatever you heard; I’ll hang on until the very end.”

I said, and she showed a hearty smile,

“Alright. I’ll tell you, a failure, the process of the devil torturing the genius boy Masaya.”



I was mentally prepared, but once I heard these words personally, the shock I felt was enough to crush my determination.

Masaya’s a kid who’s a hundred times more talented than I am. Compared to me, mom had a thousand times more expectations on him.

I knew about this.

I knew I was imperfect.

And so, mom started talking,

“Actually, it’s the duty of the parents to talk about this, but I had enough, since he’s gone. You know that Masaya’s different from you, that he’s good at everything, outstanding grades, chairman of the sports club, and often helping with household duties during middle school. The dishes he cooked were really delicious. He’s handsome too, and the aunts nearby are all fans of his.”

Mom continued to narrate, as though trying to vent this frustration she had for a long time.

“Ever since my husband died, it’s Masaya who had been supporting me, and you always left me disappeared. You don’t have any special traits, study at a low-end college, got fooled around by some strange man, and got dumped. That Masaya has talent since young if we’re comparing to you, and is able to absorb double of what you can learn with only half of his effort. There’s no doubt he’s a genius.”

“Well, yeah. Masaya’s great at everything.” I chimed in, “Like how he had double my score for a maths test…”

“Goodness me. To a widow who lost her husband, her children are more important that she is. I don’t have any hopes of your future however. Masaya’s basically my everything.”

“So that’s why you kept complaining to the school?”

“So what about the complaints? Look at his grades; even without looking at it as a parent, he’s considered one of the rare geniuses in Japan, in the entire world. It’s not just the duty of the parents to protect this rare gem; it’s also the role of an educator.”

You never had such feelings for me at all.

I had such a thought, but of course, I kept it within me, and bit my lips.

Was my mom such a person? She’s completely different from before. Right, before Masaya entered elementary school, she never made many complaints, at most twice or thrice a year.

“I’m not saying this without valid reason.” Again, she started talking, “Until Masaya entered middle school, I was really uneasy. I was worried that he would be unable to handle the jealousy for being too outstanding. If he’s too smart, he might not be able to get along with his surroundings, and there’s a lot more things to worry about. But my doubts immediately vanished.”

“…Why?”

“It’s because of the Human Power Test. When Masaya got third in the year, I really believed he’s a rare gem of humanity. It’s a really wonderful test. Not only mentally, but socially, the test results proved that Masaya’s really outstanding.”

Akane Kishitani proudly continued, her face brimming with ecstasy as she smiled,

“And then, what do I talk about next? Ah, yes, that devil. I want to talk about that violence. When the school called and notified me ‘Masaya was beaten by a classmate with a water bottle’, I nearly fainted. I hurried to the staff room, heard of what happened, and realized what happened. First, two days before the incident, there was a bullying incident that resulted as a topic on the internet. A middle school boy bullied four other middle school boys with very cruel methods. “Was this written by one of you?” I asked Masaya, and he, left with bruises on his head, silently agreed, It’s Takayoshi who typed it into the computer.” So he said.”

At this point, I asked tentatively, “And you believe this, mom?” Mom’s unexpectedly calm, saying, “How’s that possible.” With a nonchalant look, she said, “I don’t think Masaya would be bullied. There has to be a catch, a person bullying four?”

However, she immediately switched to a grim look.

“But I immediately dispelled that thought.”

“Why?”

“I didn’t tell you? Masaya’s gym clothes got ripped up. Most importantly, when I met Taku Sugawara in the other classroom, he would smile and say, “I bullied those four. So what?” it’s a really ugly look on his face.”

“Taku Sugawara admitted it?”

“Yeah. That boy never showed a look of remorse. Also, he gleefully described what he did, basically narrating some precious memories, like how he forced Masaya to eat some slugs, and extorted money from the other three. “This is a revolution. The revolution will come with sacrifices.” So he smiled as he said.”

That description was different from what Katou described of Taku Sugawara. The Taku Sugawara he mentioned was someone so uninteresting. The only thing that matched was how he never bothered with others.

Thus, was this key?

Did he choose to live—as trash?

I haphazardly made notes in a corner of my notebook, and kept asking,

“Was it you who proposed to have him kneel before everyone, mom? Every day, during noon break, at every classroom.”

“Eh? Ah, that.”

For the first time, mom stammered.

“Now then, who proposed it? I forgot? The other guardians, the principal and Masaya himself agreed. Sugawara wasn’t willing at first, but it seemed he agreed at the very end. Everyone back then wanted to avenge against the common cause, to punish that devil.”

“Nobody objected? Hey, mom, Taku Sugawara might be the devil, but objectively speaking, this punishment’s way overboard.”

“The mood back then was the influence. If you were there and saw the arrogant Sugawara, Masaya with the bruise on his face, and the reveal on the internet, you would have agreed.”

Mom did not seem to be hiding something as she said this.

But this left me a little mystified. There seemed to be some force driving events.

“After that, most of the investigation was done by the school. It was said that Taku Sugawara was forced to kneel, and a lot of negative rumors about him popped up.”

“The school did notice that Sugawara was isolated, right…”

“Yes. In any case, Taku Sugawara was finally forced to succumb. He came to our house to apologize a few times, and not only our house, he went to visit the other victims. He came alone; his parents are always at work, not caring about their son at all. He’s trash created from his household. Then, he pleaded us, “Please don’t make me kneel down anymore.” I knew on first glance that it was an act, and he became a little forceful. He slipped up, and said, “Keep punishing me, and I’ll bully this trash with more savage ways.” There has to be a limit to how much he underestimates adults here. I recorded everything, complained to the school, and asked them to increase the punishment. Such trash should be given the death penalty.”

Once she was done, mom slammed the table,

“But as he said, Masaya finally couldn’t take it, and killed himself.”

And she continued to yell, as though driven insane,

“I WAS WORRIED ABOUT HIM! I WAS CONCERNED! MASAYA’S BEEN INCREASINGLY WEIRD! HE HAD NO APPETITE, AND EVEN PUNCHED AND KICKED AT HIM, YELLING IN THE ROOM! MASAYA HAD NO ONE TO DISCUSS WITH! HE ALWAYS SUFFERED ALONE! I DIDN’T KNOW WHY! HOW COULD I HELP HIM? I TOLD HIM ‘GO VISIT A COUNCILLOR’. I DID EVERYTHING I COULD, AND I DID SO!”

Akane grabbed her hair, and hollered,

“THAT DEVIL DID SOMETHING! HE CAME TO OUR HOUSE A FEW TIMES, AND JUST APOLOGIZED ON A WHIM! HE MUST HAVE DONE SOMETHING TO MASAYA! HE DEFINITELY PUSHED DOWN MASAYA’S GIRLFRIEND! SHE’S IN A COMA, AND LEFT HIM SHOCKED! THERE’S NO DOUBT IT’S TAKU SUGAWARA WHO DROVE HIM TO DESPAIR! THIS IS UNFORGIVABLE! MASAYA’S UNDOUBTEDLY AN ANGEL WHO GOT HIGH POINTS IN THE HUMAN POWER TEST, A GENIUS WHOSE PERSONALITY IS HAILED! I WON’T FORGIVE THAT DEVIL!”

She started coughing, and fell from her chair.

“Mom!”

I hurriedly ran forth, and patted mom on the back. But mom shook off my hand.

She stood up without a word, basically viewing me as a hindrance, and went before me, to the kitchen, poured a glass of water, and gulped it down. I saw the water droplets fall from her lips. With a vacant look, she looked, “Oh, right.” She sighed.

“You’re investigating on Masaya’s matter alone, right? Once the truth is out, please remember to tell me the truth. That includes what Taku Sugawara did, what bothered Masaya; investigate everything.”

“…Okay. But mom, calm down a little.”

“Calm down? Hah! How can I possibly calm down now? That devil’s still living; he’s trying to drive others into misfortune.”

Before I could comprehend the meaning of those words, she took out a bag she left on the table, rummaged through the envelopes, and tossed me one.

“It was placed in the mailbox today, together with a cat carcass in a bag.”

Why would someone send a cat carcass over?

I opened the envelop, and found a letter, with a line of words clearly printed,

“The revolution shall proceed forth.”

That was the line recorded.

“‘Revolution’…there’s no doubt it’s Taku Sugawara.” Mom said, “The devil’s still in this city, planning something…why send a cat carcass over…! He already condemned Masaya to death! Is he still not satisfied…?”

Saying that, she grabbed her own clothes.

And then, she appeared to be on the verge of tears, glaring at the letter with much hatred..

I might never be able to comprehend the pain of parents losing a child, but mom’s expression left me unbearable.”

“Last year, Masaya said this.” She muttered, “I made a friend, he’s called Taku Sugawara, undoubtedly a good friend.” I remembered how happy I was for him.”

“Eh?”

“Those two were good friends.”

Mom pleaded,

“Please, make yourself useful…you’re a failure compared to Masaya, so at least you should do something for me, take revenge on the devil who killed his friend…”

I couldn’t say anything, and stormed out of the house.


I was in an internet café at a street, lying like a zombie. In the cramped room, I closed my eyes, covering my body with a towel. I seemed to have left this world by doing this, and my soul gained peace.

After a while, my smartphone rang.

It’s from Sayo.

I picked it up, and the usual crude voice tenderly comforted my soul,

“Yo, you free now? I got something to report.”

“Say it…” I whispered.

My reaction might have been too different from before, and Sayo seemed taken aback on the other end of the phone, but she never continued to pursue the matter, and continued,

“Eh, besides Masaya, there were three others who were bullied, right? Ninomiya, Komuro, Watabe; I went to look for them.”

“…Were they willing to meet? If we can get those three to talk, that’ll be the fastest way to do this.”

“No, it’s just through phone.”

“Ah?”

I couldn’t help but raise my voice.

Due to mass coverage in the media, Shunsuke Ninomiya, Kouji Watabe, and Takayoshi Komuro moved away from this town, and their mothers remained hushed on this matter.

I thought Sayo might have something, but I never expected her to be this quick. As to be expected of this secret weapon.

“Eh, but they never revealed anything now. I tried various methods to call Takayoshi Komuro.”

“So how was it?”

“Eh, I failed.”

Sayo coldly stated,

“He wouldn’t say anything at all. He just insisted that he got bullied by Taku Sugawara, and drove Masaya to despair. He wouldn’t reveal why, and how the four of them got dominated. Till the very end, he was vague.”

“After that incident, Taku Sugawara was supervised. How did he force Masaya?”

“He said he didn’t know.”

“I see…”

“So I couldn’t keep asking. He seemed to be hiding something, but I’m not a police, and I can’t interrogate him. There’s something in the answer that left me curious though.”

“What?”

“Eh, I asked what’s his relationship with Masaya, and he was serious with that.”

Sayo said,

“An unshakeable friendship.”

“What do you mean?”

“Middle school kids like to beautify their relationships with others, I guess. It’s just that there seem to be something else to his words, so strange.”

So ended Sayo’s report. She never got down to the crux of the matter, but she managed to ask of their relationship.

But their words left me a little confused,

“Wasn’t Masaya’s friend Taku Sugawara…?”

“Hm? What do you mean?”

“That’s what my mom said. That’s what Masaya told her excitedly last year.”

“Ah? No, but Kouta Katou never said anything about Masaya and Sugawara being friends, and the media never reported it, right?”

That should be the case. I was stunned to know this fact.

What’s the relationship between Masaya and Taku Sugawara? Good friends others know of?

I pondered over the relationship between Masaya, Sugawara and the other three. “Hey.” Sayo called out,

“So? What did your mom say, Sanae?”

Those words were direct, but very kind.

“You asked her about that incident, right? What did she say?”

“…”

Of course, I couldn’t keep it a secret from Sayo, who had been helping me out, so I decided to explain to her. I didn’t go in order, and there was no basis of them, but Sayo listened to everything silently.

Mom’s disappointed in me, and pined all her hopes on Masaya, but she never got to protect Masaya, was devastated, and had a deep grudge against Taku Sugawara—I expressed a lot of my feelings.

As I continued talking, I grabbed the towel firmly.

Once Sayo heard everything, she sighed,

“There’s definitely something wrong with that.”

That was the first thing she said,

“I don’t want to say too much about other parents, but this is really weird here. She actually said such a thing to her own daughter?”

“Don’t blame my mom. I know how she worked hard to make it here when I was still young.”

“But still…”

“It’s fine. I still love my mom.”

At that moment, I felt my eyes heat up. “Ah, damn it.” Even though I had this thought, I couldn’t stop my tears from flowing. I grabbed the towel I borrowed, and covered myself from the top. The tears were absorbed, but I still couldn’t stop crying.

Sayo called out worriedly. She couldn’t see me, and I kept shaking my head, saying,

“But I guess it’s a little hard to take. The more I investigate, the more I see. I see how outstanding Masaya was, even the principal praised him, and the classmates too, and that’s why mom’s personality changed greatly. As for me, I’m basically nothing.”

“Why blame yourself? Logically, the strange part should be your family.”

“Yeah. It’s probably caused by Masaya being too outstanding, and me being too useless.”

“No, your mom’s the biggest issue.”

Even though we’re bosom friends, even if it’s from Sayo, there were some words I didn’t want to hear.

Sayo stopped talking, and I could hear her sigh from the receiver. It seemed she wanted to say something, but she gave up.

Even my good friend had given up on me.

“Sorry.” I apologized, “I’m a little drained. I don’t want to say anything.”

“Wait.” Sayo said, “For what reason did you begin the investigations?”

“For mom and Masaya.”

“If your mom tells you ‘Kill Taku Sugawara”, what will you do?”

“…You’ve been overly protective of Taku Sugawara.”

I said something colder than I expected.

“For the time being, don’t call me.”

And so I hung up, engulfed in silence. I sat alone in the internet café suite.

I laid down on a large space, not moving at all. I didn’t have any drive to read manga, and didn’t want to switch on the computer. I tried to sleep in this little pocket of brown wooden boards. However, my brain kept running, and I repeatedly thought about the truth mom told me.

I had an argument with Sayo.

I knew I was immature. Even at 21, I was still immature.

I switched off the lights, and closed my eyes, “Mom.” I muttered,

“I’m…not a good older sister.”

Sanae Kishitani lacks love. When did I have such a thought? When did I realize the difference in treatment between Masaya and me? Mom doesn’t love me, yet Masaya grew up in a loving environment. When did I start ignoring reality, that to earn my mom’s love, I started pretending to be a good older sister to Masaya? When did I become an older sister so lacking in love—an unfilial older sister?

I curled up in the single suite of the internet café bar like a little animal. I have no place to vent my frustrations, and slammed the wall, but nothing happened except for the pain in my hands. I could imagine opening my eyes to ten years back, but it didn’t happen.

The tragedy I suffered kept multiplying endlessly.

Ahh, I hated this.

But the bad things just continued one after another.

And then, I was attacked by the ‘biggest happiness’.


At 8pm, I left the internet café, and was attacked by somebody.

I shouldn’t have chosen to leave this road with few people. However, I never expected to be strangled from the back, and smashed with an ice pick. I tried calling for help, but there was no one.”

“Don’t move. Don’t make a sound. Don’t resist.”

It’s a male who said this, no, a boy who’s going through puberty. Sounded like a middle school boy, with a muffler wrapped around him, sounding vague.

He hooked my neck with his right hand, pressing the ice pick with his left hand, and grabbed me to a corner. I could only abide.

There was a silver needle shining at my neck, and the fear caused my rational mind to crumble.

Stop, will I die?

Like how Masaya died at the hands of others.

“Don’t interfere. Break way from this.”

The assailant said to my ear.

He shoved the tip of the ice pick to my eyeball, and threatened me.

“Don’t obey, and I’ll kill you. You’re an eyesore.”

Give up on the investigation.

This boy hinted to me. So, I instinctively blurted,

“Are you…Taku Sugawara?”

Behind me, he was shaking, and it seemed he was shaking. Maybe I was right.”

The one behind me was Taku Sugawara?

The devil who drove Masaya to despair?

“I’m…not.” However, he denied with a vague voice, “I’m not that trash. I’m the biggest happiness. I’m the biggest happiness. I’m a believer of happiness representing japan, the school, the class. You’re changing my position.”

“Biggest happiness…?”

“Enough questions, or I’ll really kill you.”

He grabbed my neck, and I fell backwards, losing my balance. He swung his right fist at my belly.

Right in the solar plexus.

The sharp pain that came caused me to lose consciousness.

I laid on the ground, groaning, and he began kicking at my arms, knees, neck, waist, shoulders and thighs, tormenting me over and over again.

It hurts! It’s scary! Somebody save me!

No matter how I prayed for help, nobody would save me. As long as I intended to cry out loud, the assailant would use the weapon, so I could only let him attack me.

Once he saw that I was covered in bruises, “Goodbye, social cancer.” He went away.

What’s going on?

There’s another mastermind other than Taku Sugawara?

I didn’t know the situation at all.

The closer I got to the truth, I started to be hurt, I received a cat’s carcass at home, I got into an argument, cried in sadness, and got attack. Did I still want to continue figuring out the truth?

I had no idea at all.

What was he terrified of? Biggest happiness? Social cancer?

“I want to run away already…I don’t understand at all. What should I do, Masaya?”

I couldn’t get up due to the excessive pain, and laid on the road, thinking about it.

Sudenly, I received an SNS notification from my phone.

Who’s it? I wondered as I checked, and found it to be someone unexpected.

“I know who the real culprit is. From Kotomi Ishikawa.”

The message was from the classmate who fell down the stairs three days before Masaya killed himself.

And also, this girl was Masaya’s girlfriend.

 

Chapter 6: Murder

I’ve decided to quickly explain this revolution.

It’s a little tiring, but keep up with me.


During break, after finishing the meals that aren’t too bad but not very good either, everyone would just do whatever they wanted.

I was always at a corner of the classroom, reading, so I never once paid attention to all my classmates. On a closer look though, I would find everyone doing all kinds of things happily.

Masaya, Ninomiya and Watabe were playing poker cards with several girls, while Ishikawa’s watching on from the side happily. Komuro’s trying his best to copy Masaya’s homework, the other girls are chatting away on the corridor, giving annoyed looks at Katou and the others as the latter talked about some degrading stuff. The more otaku oriented ones were discussing the anime airing that night, while calm people like were reading.

What I wanted to express was that back then, I was not enraged.

When I attacked Masaya with the filled water bottle, I was not that agitated.

So once I made up my body, I attacked Masaya with a swift, fluid motion when he turned his head around. Of course, it was to be expected; if I was really angry, I would have attacked him with a chair, and even Masaya would have been sent to the hospital. With my feeble muscles, I should have been able to do it.

In any case, it was due to kindness that I chose to attack with a water bottle, and left a bruise on Masaya’s face.

“What’s with you…Sugawara?”

Every classmate of mine stopped, and there was instantaneous silence in the classroom, with only Masaya remaining calm.

That really impressed me.

So I said, “This is really a good day.”


In early November, I began my revolution.

Once I was done with the preparations, I attacked Masaya, as I had described.

And chaos came.

I explained to my class teacher-in-charge Toguchi-sensei, Masaya’s mother, and the parents of the other three, and their lashing would have rendered me deaf. A few times Masaya’s mother wanted to hit me.

In the center of the classroom, several adults were surrounding me, agitated emotions lashing out.

Like a hare mistakenly entering a lion’s den, I was left with a terrifying, pitiful experience.

But I never apologized.

I couldn’t give up easily, for it’s a revolution.

Everyone subjected me to ridiculous punishments, and during noon break, I had to go to every classroom in the school, to kneel down before everyone.


That day, I returned home at 8.

And before I slept, I finally met my father, who made it home.

He took off the heavy coat, took out a can of beer from the fridge, “Don’t do anything stupid.” And merely told me this.

Just that.

He never asked me anything.

Masaya’s mother went berserk like Asura himself, and I was suspended from school for three days; including Saturday, I spent five days on break. During this time, I went to the school a few times, and visited the homes of Masaya, Ninomiya, Watabe and Komuro. “Get your parents here!” A few of them called out to me, but so I could only answer, “Please tell my parents yourself.” I was not trying to fool them, I was being earnest; however, I got lashed at instead, and I appeared to have been thunderstruck.

I could understand this much.

The problem was that after suspension, I was forced to kneel before everyone.

(Is this the Edo Period!?)

During noon break, I went to kneel before every classroom, regardless of year. Is this permitted in education? MEXT, explain this!

…Well, that’s to be expected.

After the first day of kneeling ended, I grumbled inside my heart, and finally gained peace. I patted hard at my dirtied knees and hair, and said.

The feeling of pity and condescendence from strangers lingered in my heart. Everyone was having lunch happily, and I showed up with the teachers, my head grovelling onto the floor. Everyone was stunned, and unable to say anything; the curious looks became condescendence. I never saw their expressions, but that, I felt, was the atmosphere filling the classrooms.

It’s one thing for all the students to understand that bullying isn’t right; at the same time, it’s for everyone to know that I’m trash.

I guess this school won’t have any bullying again. Congrats.

(Masaya’s mom is really scary…)

I sighed, and heard Toguchi-sensei’s voice. He’s my teacher-in-charge, the adult who accompanied me as I kneeled.

“Hey, Sugawara.”

The young teacher of approximately thirty years old scratched his head.

“You don’t seem to have taken this hard…”

“Really”

“No, it’s not like I want to increase the punishment, but I’m curious. What are you thinking?”

“It’s nothing. I’m just reflecting on how I bullied Masaya.”

I never expected Toguchi-sensei to figure it out, so I tried my best to give an arrogant attitude, a mocking smile, and turned my eyes to a completely different direction.

At the very least, until the revolution ends, I can’t open my heart to Toguchi-sensei.

So I mocked,

“Any worse? As long as I kneel down, things will end up well. Are you intending to get Masaya’s mom here? I did visit her during my break, but her rage just increased.”

“…Well, you’re right.”

Toguchi-sensei seemed to have given up, and sighed, hurrying back to the staff room. This teacher was criticized for being spineless and afraid of trouble, very unpopular amongst the students, but at this moment, I really was relieved by this.


When I returned to my classroom, I found my pencil case thrown into the dustbin.

It was very unnatural, and I figured it out on first glance. All the contents was spilled out, and thrown along with the pencil box, several mechanical pencils are sticking out under the grey plastic bag.

I never expected it to begin so quickly.

I felt stares from all over the classroom, different from when I headed out to kneel before every classroom; there’s a sense of justice. The proof is that several stares are looking at me, and not averting away. They showed no shame in their ugly inner hearts, and thought that throwing my penil case is an act of justice.

It’s nauseating.

“Is the Human Power Test that important…?” I muttered.

I thought as I glared back at them. I really had a lot to say.

You guys don’t have the right to be trash. You’re scum. You want approval from others? You want to be praised by Masaya? Or be one with the surrounding atmosphere? You throw away other people’s stuff for some stupid reason? How many people have you harmed over the past 14 years, harking on the term friendship you do not understand?

But it was pointless to tell them this. First, I don’t care about these things; even if they’re stupid, buffoons, so what? It’s just my pencil case thrown away. Just a waste of a minute.

Real trash won’t be hurt.


And that’s what I saw during the initial phase of my revolution.

The revolution’s proceeding unexpectedly well, you know?


“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I’m tired!”

In any case, once I returned home, I yelled.

I attacked Masaya, faced Masaya’s mother in the staff room, visited the victims during my break, kneeled before everyone, my class and school judged me; it’s easy to write this, but every single event caused tremendous stress to my mental state.

I snacked on tidbits in the living room, soothing my tired soul. The baumkuchen I bought behind my parents’ back was unexpectedly nice. I started peeling the layers and eating them; it’s a unique way of eating I came up with. I collapsed on the sofa, “Uuu.” I murmured. Even trash like me will have a mental collapse.

“I should say that I haven’t done anything decent in a while. My head hearts. They’re cruel. They just tortured this weak kid in the Heisei Era like this!”

Even so, I couldn’t give up.

If not, I would forever have the infamy of being ‘the guy who bullied four classmates and beat up a classmate with a water bottle’.

The die has been cast.

I can only continue on.

I decided to grumble before heading to sleeping, “Beep.” There’s a sound from the computer. I approached it, and found the message was from Sou. It’s the usual message.

“Hello, you hear me? Did anything interesting happen today?”

I didn’t intend to tell him “I was forced to kneel during noon break as punishment.” So I made a harmless lie. It’s very easy to make up a lie. My day’s basically the same schedule, almost a staple. Go to school, don’t pay attention in class, head to the library, and head home.

I couldn’t tell Sou about the bullying and incident, but I just wanted to discuss something a little more stupid with Sou.

“Oh yeah, I found that cooking meat buns in soup is nice. It’s easy to complete a Chinese dish.”

At this point, I only need a change of mood, so I started getting greedy, and made a stupid joke.

Just to note, I never had meat bun soup. This should be enough to make a Chinese soup dish, right? I don’t know.

The conversation continued somewhat, and we chatted away,

“So, in that case, if you use red bean bun, it’ll become a red bean soup, right?”

“Really? Sounds like it’ll be really bland.”

“Try making it. I’m looking forward to your results.”

“You should try experimenting it yourself, Sou. This is despicable.”

I joked, and awaited his reply.

After a pause, Sou sent me a message,

“Anyway, why did you beat up Masaya Kishitani, Sugawara?”

At that moment, I stopped thinking.

I kept reading that message, and then checked through my chat log with Sou. There was proof that I never revealed my personal information to him.

I felt thirty immediately, and was unable to say anything.

But Sou kept sending messages to me on the computer.

“I apologize for saying this out of a sudden, but do you mind sharing this with me? I might be able to help you out. Why did you hit Masaya Kishitani? Why did you act so arrogant before Masaya Kishitani’s mother? How did you dominate the four students?”

What’s going on? I inadvertently explained,

“I know you, I have hopes for you, and I am worried about you, so please tell me your objective. Taku Sugawara, that classmate of yours called ‘I’ is Kotomi Ishikawa, right?”

I instinctively switched off the computer.

My breathing got hasty, and I frantically unplugged the computer internet cable before leaving the living room.

Why did that guy know me?

Who exactly was he?

I felt something breaking apart, and had an ominous premonition.

Just in time, the doorbell rang. It’s not my parents; it’s impossible for them to be home at this time.

Someone’s here.

With my heart pounding, I sneaked to the window, and peeked at the entrance.

The guy standing outside was someone I didn’t expect, someone I didn’t want to meet.

(Masaya…)

Masaya had a bandage on his face as he stood at the door. Seeing that figure, I backtracked, and wanted to leave the scene,

“Taku, you there?” he called out to me through the window, “Why did you do that? What did you intend to do?”

Masaya called out to me, and I covered my mouth, holding my breath.

But a genius’ really scary, and Masaya seemed to have realized my presence. He turned the door handle, saw that it was locked, and said,

“I know you’re hiding behind the door. If you don’t want to come up, it’s fine. But please, tell me, what is your aim?”

I couldn’t answer.

And Masaya said,

“You don’t have to kneel anymore. I don’t hope for you to do this. I’ll tell everyone in class not to be so narrow-minded and throw your pencil case. This is all I came to tell you. Hey, say something already, please.”

Even though he was being kind to me, I couldn’t answer. Only silence engulfed us as we were separated by this 3cm thick door.

“Hey, Taku…” Masaya muttered, “We’re still bullies, right? Allies, right?”

“Yeah…but, sorry.” I said. However, I was thinking that once everything ended, we could go out and eat together; of course, I couldn’t just invite him out.

He’s an ally member of the TakuMasa alliance.

But at this point, I couldn’t be his good friend.

So after that, I chose to remain silent.

Several minutes later, and Masaya stood at the door, several times about to say something, and finally gave up as he kicked the door in frustration, turning away to leave.

I closed my eyes, remaining at the corridor.

I had to keep torturing Masaya until the revolution ended.

For my own happiness.


I was worn out, and laid at the entrance; this time, the doorbell rang again.

It was probably after about ten minutes or so, and I got wary again, wondering if it was Masaya again. I was curious as to who the visitor was, and returned to the living room, and peered through the window; I saw the standard deep blue bag of our school, with a grey ribbon on it. Just the ribbon? There seemed to be something else tied to it. Yep, got an impression.

To see it clearly, I reached my head towards the window, and hit the glass accidentally. The visitor turned over upon hearing the hit, and our eyes met.

It’s Kotomi Ishikawa.

This was the first possible timing. She was the one person I didn’t want to see, more than Masaya. Things were going bad. The grey ribbon was a leftover of that doll. I couldn’t pretend not to be at home however, nodded, and went to the entrance. At the dim entrance, I switched on the white fluorescent lights, unlocked the door, and it was shoved aside, almost eagerly. She ignored the entrance I would typically clean up, and rattled away,

“Why did Masaya visit you, Sugawara?”

She asked. It’s a harsh expression I had never seen before, as though I was interrogated over the sins of my past incarnation.

I averted her intense eyes, and said,

“Did he? I wasn’t sure.”

“You’re lying. I saw Masaya leave your house, Sugawara. Please tell me. Why did Masaya come here?”

“…I didn’t see him.” I tried to be as careful as I could as I answered, “I ignored him. He was yelling outside the house, but I didn’t know what he was yelling. Probably the New Testament.”

“Masaya isn’t a Christian.”

Ishikawa’s rebuttal sure was typical of her, and I was dumbfounded.

“Then it’s probably the Old Testament.”

“Again with that attitude…you’ll get bullied, Sugawara.”

It’s a tone of pity and rage; over the 14 years of my life, this was the first time I had heard such a strange way of speaking.

“Everyone hates your guts, Sugawara…because you beat up Masaya. So, please tell me honestly. This is my one request…did you really bully Masaya?”

“…I did. Komuro spilled the beans of what I did on the internet, and Masaya has to bear the responsibility, so I beat him up. That’s how it is.”

My tone was colder than I thought. However, what I said could never be taken back.

Ishikawa shook her head before me.

“That’s a lie too. Even though I’m not smart, I know Masaya isn’t the type to be bullied.”

“In that case, why didn’t Masaya deny it before the teachers and the parents? If he had said ‘I wasn’t bullied’, I wouldn’t have anything. He never denied it, because he couldn’t, because it’s a fact. You should have asked Masaya, right? What did he say?”

When I rejected Ishikawa with words, I felt a sharp pain in my heart. I had a strong urge to apologize immediately and embrace her. I was mentally prepared, but I never expected being enemies with Ishikawa to be so painful.

While I was wondering if I made her cry, she unexpectedly gave me a slap. It’s weak, but it’s enough to send this weaker me sprawling on the floor.

Her breathing’s as frantic as a wild animal as she looked down at me,

“Why…wouldn’t you tell me?”

Her eyes are filled with tears, and she lashed out at me,

“Please tell me honestly! What should I do!? Whose words do I believe? Please tell me the truth…or…I’ll have to bully you…Sugawara…”

“Shut up…!!!”

While on the floor, I retorted back with all my determination, pushing back Ishikawa and my first love with determination.

“Stop trying to act goody-goody and say what sounds nice already. What you see is just others; you don’t hate me, right? You’re just scared of being treated cruelly again, hoping to be accepted by the other students. Stop determining other people’s crimes with that kind of motive. Stop running away from reality!”

“—!!”

She let out a verbal sob when she heard those words, and looked down at me in tears. She appeared to have something to say, but she seemed unable to say anything.

I guess I was right. Such an obvious response helped me out; it’s because of this that I started the revolution.

This is fine, so I convinced myself. Even if I was hated by Ishikawa, I couldn’t get her involved. This would be fine.

I felt the cold from the marble floor, and to avoid her gaze, I looked towards the pottery plant at the entrance. The dark green leaves were shaking as I kept waiting for Ishikawa to leave.

Finally, Ishikawa said in pain,

“Please shut up…you don’t know the suffering others have. You won’t understand.”

“Maybe.”

“You aren’t reflecting on this at all right, Sugawara? You spilled ink on Masaya’s textbook…just like you cut up Masaya’s gym clothes in September…you kept bullying Masaya…you’re horrible.”

“…Eh?”

I turned back, and asked, but she had already left.

I wanted to give pursuit, but my train of thoughts couldn’t catch up, and my body couldn’t move for the time being.

Again, I was left alone on the corridor.

But unlike before, I had clear doubts in my mind.

“Did I spill ink on Masaya’s notebook? Did I cut up his gym clothes?”

Those weren’t me.

Some people did these behind my back. I recalled Masaya’s anguished look.

Was I thoroughly mistaken about something?

Something laid hidden.

And was progressing to a place different from my revolution.


I have few wishes.

To fulfil these minimal wishes, I had to start this revolution.

To ease the burden of my friends.

Even if it’s a little, I hoped to ease Ishikawa’s burden.

I wanted to wreck the Human Power Test, and get happiness.

So I had such expectations as I started this revolution alone. And then, even if it wasn’t at me, I hoped she would show a hearty smile again.

It’s fine for us not to be loves.

Trash won’t hope for such unrealistic things.


However, a month after I beat up Masaya, my wish wasn’t fulfilled. Instead, it appeared before me in a twisted manner.

Even I wasn’t sure of what happened during this time; I could deduce from the shown information and rumors, but deductions are just deductions. Of course, the one thing I could be certain of, was that the source of everything was me.

My revolution started creating turmoil, affecting various people; there’s no doubt about these.


Ishikawa fell from the stairs, and lost consciousness.


Once I heard those news, I stopped thinking. However, the worst possible outcome happened three days later.


Masaya Kishitani killed himself.


When I heard of this through the phone call, I collapsed to the floor due to hyperventilation.



Ahh, please, just mock me.

Laugh at this shallow me.

This is the one thing you can do, my hope.

For I look down on myself, more than anyone else.

So when you make fun of me, our emotions will become one, and we’ll be kindred soul.

Following this is the real hell.

 

Interlude - Youtube 'TK's easy cooking' Freetalk on December 5th

TK: “Thank you for tuning in to TK’s cooking like you. I have to apologize for these news though. While I have been introducing food recipes once every three days, I shall became a little busier due to work, and have to do so once a week. I do apologize greatly to all the audience.”

George: “I do look forward to seeing the 100-yen world cooking series. It’s a pity, but please do your best in your work. Anyway, what is your profession?”

TK: “It’s a secret. To do with education though…”

Himuhimu: “Is it about the Kuzegawa bullying and suicide incident?”

TK: “No, it’s just a coincidence. Just so happened to be of similar timing.”

George: “Thank goodness, I’m relieved. That scared me (laughs).”

Sou: “No, aren’t you the teacher-in-charge of the class in question? His name can be written as TK as an acronym.”

TK: “It just happened to be a coincidence, right?”

Sou: “Once a week? Are you kidding? Your class has issues, and you had no intention to investigate. You’re just not concerned at all, devoted to your social website. Are you even a teacher?”

TK: “I said that you’re mistaken.”

Sou: “There are people who know your voice and fingerprints, and that’s enough. I’m going to report this to the media, and have you, the irresponsible teacher be the number one enemy of Japan along with the cruel mastermind S.”

TK: “Are you kidding me!? Who are you!? That has nothing to do with me, right!?”

Sou: “You figured out something, didn’t you? You are the adult closest to them, and you couldn’t prevent the suicide.”

TK: “What could I do!? There wasn’t any bullying! No witnesses! No signs at all! It’s all that devil’s fault! I’m the victim!”

Sou: “You’re so incompetent, acting like an outsider. Farewell.”

 

@Hell_ping did you catch cold?
3 chap on 2 days?
thank you for your hard work~

 

Chapter 7 - The Final Puzzle Piece

It’s an obvious action, nothing to be proud of, but I summoned my courage and replied to Kotomi Ishikawa.

Of course, I was scared of knowing the truth, and terrified of the assailant. Despite this, there was a reason why I couldn’t give up. It’s pessimistic, but I decided to begin investigations.

She was the first girlfriend Masaya made in life.

What did she see in that classroom? Why did she fall from the stairs?


Kotomi and I agreed on a time to meet.

I contacted her through SNS, but it seemed she really wanted to meet me, so we arranged a time for me to meet her at the hospital, and I visited her at a ward.

Her ward room’s a nicely maintained single bed room. She was seated on the bed, and the whole room was complete white, like white pain; there was a suffocating feeling, but it emphasized more on her beauty. Strangle, the middle-length black hair and tense face was the same as before.

However, she did not have proper nutrition, probably as she had passed out for days, and lacked lots of flesh, giving a holy presence as a result. The youthful vibrance befitting her age when I met her had vanished, and she seemed exceptionally mature.

She sat on the sofa, holding a large Narcissus flower.

I entered the room, and she looked at me, smiling peacefully,


“Hello, Sanae.”

Her tone is filled with pity and merciful love. It’s so unlike a 14-year-old.

Surely she had known that Masaya killed himself.

“To be honest…” she pointed at the chair, probably intending for me to sit, “I already recovered a long time back, but I wasn’t allowed visitors. Isn’t that too much, you think?”

“…You took a hard hit though, so of course, isn’t it? There are still some parts unclear about the brain in medical research.”

After hearing my answer, she answered, “I see, it’s a blind spot!” She chuckled, and looked at her hands with a serious look,

“So…I had enough time, to sit here, to think of what happened till this point.”

She was holding something in her hands. On a closer look, I found that it was a cellphone.

With an adorable look, she stroked her cellphone, saying,

“About the class, Masaya, Sugawara, the Human Power Test, and myself. Like an idiot, I was just thinking about friends. I was wondering, what would I do when I got shunned from others? If I can’t catch up in topics or grades, and if I get bullied, what do I do? It’s no wonder that Sugawara mocked me, “What you see is just others.”.”

“Are you familiar with him?”

“No, but before the incident happened, we talked a few times, rather in-depth. So I decided to follow Sugawara’s words, ignore others, and take some time to think. After thinking about it for a while, I realized that Sugawara’s caring for me through his own way.”

“What else did you think of?”

“Like why Masaya pushed me down the stairs.”

She put the cellphone to her chest.

“I’ll tell you the truth, who actually killed Masaya. The sins Ninomiya, Watabe, Komuro and I did.”


There’s no doubt Kotomi’s one of the central group in the class; she’s third in the Human Power Test, and her popularity’s obvious (to note, of the 35 in the class, Masaya’s first, while Taku Sugawara was 34th). Her cheerful personality was such that it wouldn’t be discomforting to be with her; whenever anyone was with her, there wouldn’t be a dampener.

However, she expressed that a year ago, she was harassed by some girls. She accidentally showed her friends the Test Card of the Human power Test, and due to her high rank, she was envied. Before the malice showed from the others, a certain popular person said something that easily solved this matter.

That popular person was Masaya. Both of them got on good terms, and two months later, they started dating.

I once asked about Masaya’s girlfriend, and he looked really disgusted, but he did introduce his girlfriend to me. “She’s good at easing the mood, so I guess she gets along with you well. She looks silly, but she really cares for others.”

However, I could personally sense that the way she treated others was due to her past fear.

“So when Masaya started hiding things from me, I was really hurt. I was scared of being abandoned by Masaya, that I had to face the naked hatred myself.”

Slowly, she said,

“I didn’t know what to do, and I vented my frustrations on the dolphin doll Masaya gave me…I was an idiot. It’s the precious doll Masay gave me for our first date…but it really shocked me. Masaya, no, he, and everyone else, including Ninomiya, Watabe and Komuro, all of them are hiding something from me, isolating me.”

“When was that?”

“About two weeks before Sugawara triggered that incident.”

“Do you know know what they hid from you?”

“Yes.” She nodded back at my question,

“I think Ninomiya, Watabe and Komuro were bullying Masaya. To be exact, it’s Masaya and Sugawara.”

She slowly elaborated, and then, suddenly, she hastened her words,

“They bullied them behind everyone else’s back, without anyone realizing. It’s more convincing that Sugawara alone bullying four people, at least. Masaya’s gym clothes were definitely slashed thanks to them. I knew something was amiss, so they planned something.”

“…They had Sugawara attack Masaya, and let Sugawara be the scapegoat.”

“Yes, you’re right.”

She affirmed my words, and hastened her words as she said,

“The reveal on the internet was faked by them. After that incident, Sugawara and Masaya lost contact. Masaya started to act strange. Was it because those three’s bullying got out of hand? Was it because Sugawara, who was bullied, was isolated from everyone?”

“Good friends…” I muttered,

“After Sugawara beat up masaya, I saw Masaya run over to Toguchi-sensei. Sensei didn’t have any enthusiasm, and only cared about himself, so surely he did ignore Masaya. But Masaya did ask others for help. He visited Sugawara once, keeping it a secret from his parent. I didn’t know what his objective was, but it’s enough to prove that he and Sugawara were once friends.”

“Hey, in that case, what sin did you commit?”

I asked, and she closed her eyes, stating the truth in pain,

“After Sugawara’s incident, I bullied him along with the rest of the class…everyone threw his pencil case, and badmouthed him before him. They added rubber scraps to his meal, and hid the homework he was going to submit.”

With tears in her eyes, Kotomi hugged at the white blanket, shivering,

She continued to confess her sin,

“Back then, I didn’t know what to do…I didn’t know what to believe. For Masaya, no, Sugawara may be angry if he hears this. My mind’s just thinking of how to improve my ranking in the Human Power Test, how not to let it slide, so I punished Sugawara, to him, who used to be Masaya’s friend—”

“…”

“And that’s why Masaya pushed me down the stairs, maybe because I bullied the one person who could have been Masaya’s emotional support.”

Finally, she cried and exclaimed,

“That’s why I feel that I caused Masaya’s death. I never realized the truth to this, and drove him to despair. Ninomiya, Watabe and Komuro all bullied Masaya, and I bullied Masaya’s friend—that’s the truth to this.”

In my mind, I reflected upon her anguished confession.

Suddenly, I had a thought in my mind. Right, a thought. No matter how contradicting it was, how shocking it was, there was something unsurprising yet unimportant.

I looked at her,

And then, I said, “You have the courage to admit your sin.”

She wiped her tears, feeling confused,

“Eh? What do you mean?”

“Ah, no, I just feel that you’re different from others. There’s the principal who started this strange education system, Masaya’s mom who’s next to me, and the classmates who should have noticed the bullying; nobody wants to admit their responsibility in the matter. Eh, whether they do have responsibility, I’m not sure.”

All of them pushed the responsibility to Taku Sugawara and stated their innocence by saying “I don’t know.” But she didn’t.

With a firm will, she opened her eyes, and held my hand firmly, stating the truth.

She didn’t try to be a goody-goody before me, but instead, she analysed the situation in an abnormally calm manner.

Upon hearing my words, Kotomi chuckled,

“Someone told me ‘not to run away’.” It’s the first time she showed such a kind smile, “Don’t care about how others look at you and forget the real important thing. So I decided not to run away. I can’t run away from reality anymore; I won’t run away from the fact that I doomed Masaya.”

“Who said that to you?”

“My master.”

“What do you mean?”

Kotomi seemed bemused, and smiled,

“Sugawara.”

With a blushing face, she said,

“Surely Sugawara wanted to tell me something important.”

She again held her cellphone, and tossed it to the ceiling. It spun in the air, and landed on the bed.

I imagined Sugawara in my mind. The unpopular guy the principal talked off, the devil child mom said, the unimpressive student his classmates said, and the sage-like existence she said. Which one was it? Which one was the real him?”

“Don’t run away.” Sugawara once said this.

Ah, that was the case. I couldn’t just run away. Even this girl who’s younger than me by seven years figured out the cruel truth through her own hypothesis, that “I’m the killer.”

So, I—

“Hey, Kotomi, let me figure out the truth first. What you just mentioned, like the teacher being unenthusiastic, Masaya discussing it with the teacher, after the incident, Masaya visited Sugawara at his house, that after the incident, you all bullied Sugawara. It was Masaya who pushed you down the stairs. That’s a fact, right?”

I lined up the facts I had known for the first time, got Kotomi’s affirmation, and jotted it down in my notebook, comparing it to what I heard.

“E-erm.” With a worried look, Kotomi asked, “Was my deduction wrong somewhere?”

“I don’t know. But I’ve decided not to run away, and keep fighting on. Let me continue investigating this a bit; there’s something very suspicious in your deduction, Kotomi, about how ‘Masaya was bullied’. Hey, how is it possible to control that genius? I’m not boasting, but Masaya’s capable of fighting and studying. It’s a little difficult for others not to realize.”

“That is a blind spot…let me think.”

“Let’s think of this another way, maybe he was threatened. There was a ‘prevent eavesdropping’ search record in Masaya’s computer, so he’s definitely scared of something. Do you have a clue?”

“Eh, I remember he has something he’s hiding from me, but I’m not sure what it is…”

Saying that, Kotomi lowered her head,

“Sorry, I don’t have definite proof. I can’t be a famous detective.”

“No, I didn’t really have any hopes for the evidence…this is different from a murder or theft, there won’t normally be any traces or murder weapon left behind.”

“I see, that makes sense. This is a blind spot.”

“Is that your mantra?”

I chuckled. What Kotomi said left me curious,

‘Blind Spot’? A possibility of being excluded?

Th-there’s not just one? Blind spots nobody thought of?

I flipped through my notebook before Kotomi, and checked through all the intel I got.

Even if there wasn’t any conclusive evidence, it was fine. I could deduce the current situation through imagination and logic.

Grades, popular person, Taku Sugawara’s family conditions, prevent eavesdropping, unenthusiastic class teacher, no signs of bullying, the PTA vice president infamous for being a monster parent, friendship—

I started to slowly understand the environment Taku Sugawara and Masaya were in.

All kinds of elaborate plot became the truth, floating to the surface.

“—!” I shrieked.

It was a bone-chilling truth, the demonic truth.

I didn’t think it was a coincidence. It was a completely perfect dominion.

“Sanae, your phone’s ringing.”

Right when I had a hypothesis,

I could hear a familiar ringtone from my bag. I never noticed it at all.

“You can hear it here. They allow people to use phones here.”

I was grateful to Kotomi for telling me this, and picked up my phone. It’s from Sayo,

“You got a park near your house, right? Hurry there.”

With a stern tone, she said,

“Taku Sugawara’s there now.”

“I’ll be right there.” I answered, and hung up.

Next to me, Kotomi showed a curious look, so I said to her, “I’m going to meet Sugawara.”

She probably realized the seriousness from the words, and nodded towards me, pointing at the Narcissus by her bedside. The white flower was blooming brightly, and the ward room had a faint fragrance lingering.

“It’s from Sugawara. He asked the nurse to give it to me.”

And then, she held my hand,

“Please unravel all the mysteries. I too want to know why Masaya died. Why did Sugawara beat up Masaya. Once everything is clear, please guide them, let Masaya die in peace, and Sugawara be happy.”

I didn’t need her to remind me that.

I held her hand back, and left the ward room.

†

There was a mistake in Kotomi’s deduction.

So, it’s time to clear up everything.

I had to meet Masaya’s killer, and personally talk to him.

Since the revolution is yet to end, I’ll end it right there.

†

Taku Sugawara just so happened to be seated at the bench Masaya and I used to sit at.

It’s a spacious park with a large grassy place, and during the holidays, kids will come to play baseball. There’s a large playground at the higher-up place, and at the back, I could see a wilting Sakura tree. There’s rubbish thrown into the lake, and the plastic bottles floated on the surface like a boat.

The scenery before me was completely dyed orange.

It’s a really pretty evening hue.

The orange light tenderly wrapped around me, engulfing this world. It’s the park I’m so familiar with, but it just didn’t seem to fit in.

For Taku Sugawara appeared right before my eyes.

How could I describe my first impression of Taku Sugawara?

It’s different from the impression others had described.

Of course, as they had said, his appearance wasn’t impressive, and he’s not tall. He seemed weak, a lot gloomier than I thought. He had the appearance of an ordinary middle school student; this simple describe aptly fit him.

But even so, there was some pressure from him, unlike his appearance. He came here with some determination, or maybe it was because I was feeling tense.

At the very least, I couldn’t help but gasp.

Those were the feelings I had when I met Taku Sugawara.

Taku Sugawara was seated on the bench by the park, looking at me,

“You’re Masaya’s older sister, right? Both of you look alike.”

He said before I could speak up.

“Yeah.” So I could only answer.

He averted his eyes from me, his upper body leaning forward as he started to say. His voice was a little deep; perhaps his voice was breaking,

“I don’t have anything else to say. I bullied him and drove him to suicide. Looks like you’re investigating the truth to this matter, but this is the truth. I do feel sorry to you, his older sister, but have another way to redeem myself, so that’s it for today, right?”

“But Sayo told me “You’re going to tell me everything”.”

“Sayo? Oh, the tall one? Sorry, I change my mind. There’s nothing much to say.”

“Tell me. I’m not going to run away from the truth.”

“Like I give a damn about you.”

He was arrogant, speaking with uppity. No wonder mom didn’t like him at all.

“…”

But it’s all an act. He didn’t sound like what his classmates said about him, and looking closely, he seemed really stiff. He’s just an ordinary middle school boy acting tough.

So, I said; to fish out the truth from him, I told him the answer I got,

“You were the one bullied, right? By Masaya Kishitani, Shunsuke Ninomiya, Kouji Watabe, and Takayoshi Komuro, the four of them.”

I linked all the clues together, and that was the only answer I got,

“And it wasn’t just bullying. It’s perfect. Four vs one, let’s not talk about that. Nobody else realized, there’s no records in the email, they were careful about not being eavesdropped, and your actions were controlled during that time. Even if you did try to report the bullying, your parents aren’t interested in their child, and the class teacher has no motivation. If the report succeeded, you’ll be facing the monster parent, the PTa vice president, and then the most popular in class, nobody else will stand on your side. You’re alone, so everything’s pointe to you. It’s a perfect layered planning…no, so perfect that it was basically calculated.

I said.

The strange force that did whatever it did from behind the back, the true identity would be—

“The devil was—Masaya Kishitani.”

“…”

“Tell me, how did you fight against the devil? What happened between you and Masaya?”

I stated my hypothesis, and for the first time, Sugawara’s expression showed a change. The condescending look vanished, and he looked up at me with shock.

His mouth moved twice, thrice, becoming an inaudible cry. He suddenly started covering his mouth, and coughed, shaking all over like a clock. He then fell from the bench, panting hard.

He finally smiled happily, “You’ve passed.” He said.

However, he never told me the significance of those words.

Once his breathing eased, he said,

“Please give me some time to buy some cocoa. I’ll tell you the rest later.”

There’s no doubt he had a smile on his face.

But something was amiss. That smile was way different from ‘an ordinary middle school boy’. That expression could only be described as ‘evil’.

And this was the final step.

 

Damn that cliff.