ORIGINAL NOVEL: I need some serious opinion

Discussion in 'Author Discussions' started by Jinnai.l, Dec 3, 2018.

  1. Rosver

    Rosver Well-Known Member

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    There should be something interesting you could offer that isn't going to ruin the story right? The synopsis/description is pretty much like a movie trailer. Just think of, say, the trailers for Ralph Breaks the Internet. They show the Disney Princesses, they show Ralph and Vanellope going to the internet, meet various characters, etc.

    Maybe, give us the stakes of the story. What are they going to lose if they fail. This is not something that ruin the story for knowing in advance since it is one of the very first thing a reader would know.

    You could also tell some of the more direct result when Earth got booted up into the magical world. What are the immediate consequences? How did the people reacted? Things like that.

    Really, just present something about your story that tells your readers how great it could be. Something that would interest them. Something to differentiate your story from the other stories. Just something that makes them want to read your story.
     
  2. Rosver

    Rosver Well-Known Member

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    Okay. I'm not actually interested with the story because of how bland the synopsis makes it to be but I did read the first chapter and … It was not good.

    I really don't like this nameless guy. How the heck could he act like that in that situation? And why do he keep spouting nonsense? I just don't find him appealing at all.

    The chapter starts with infodumping. Why use such a boring method to start the story?

    That Goddess is cringe inducing. I think the goddess is supposed to be a megalomaniac or something, but how she do it is just …

    And the grammar is not quite right.

    The dialogue is not quite right either.

    I'll be honest. This story is terrible. Well, I just read the first chapter but … it was just horrible. It is just not good.
     
  3. Jinnai.l

    Jinnai.l The Jerkaiser, Ruler of 108th dimension,Jinny

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    Any suggestion
     
  4. Rosver

    Rosver Well-Known Member

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    A rewrite I guess?

    I may actually have to read more of the story to actually suggest something but the first just isn't promising. I'll read a few chapters more and see what could be done or it really needs to be scrapped.
     
  5. Jinnai.l

    Jinnai.l The Jerkaiser, Ruler of 108th dimension,Jinny

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    Yeah I kinda get your point...his character in the first arc was not fresh out and no one give me any suggestion on how to make him more compelling so I am stuck trying to keep his character afloat...

    So how do you think I should write him...

    To be brief Rem Breaker like every character in this novel was define by his past. I try to make him as human as possible.

    He is talent, smart and wise but he fall short in many term compare to the insanely talent. He is good but not good enough with his one and only weapon is his imagination and creativity.

    The thing is his Mom, who he is closest too, want him to be the great. His dad was obsessive and demeaning who is to narrow-mind and self-centered despite meaning well and a cousin that was half-step aggressive on the level of the SJW and half-step ignorant and self centered as his dad. This result in a repress bundle of emotional issue who tried to trick himself into thinking he had no issue with that severely dampened empathy, he lied to himself that everyone is below him to cope with his fear of failure and expectation despite knowing deep down it is bad for him.

    It like drinking alcohol. You know it will kill you but you are to depress to care.

    But twist is that, he is wise enough to notice this. He knew exactly how he was wrong but by the time he notice it. He couldn't keep any of his friends, one he admit he never close too, another turn her back on him and another one follow her. He wise enough to know he could fix and that he is too late and now he is lying in the bed he made. The only thing that kept him moving forward is the ideal of one character: Superman the ideal of Optimism and Selflessness itself.

    Rem was ultimately define by his wisdom and self-introspection which is his ultimate power but also drown him in the innumerable flaw he has. And he is driven to spite the hell out of the cynicism mindset that got him into this mess and the cynical world that took the ideal ultimately save him, the ideal he is forever grateful toward and love to uphold, and fuck it up as naive.

    By the time the story start Rem was trying to pull himself from that, oh so above it all mindset. He ready to sold his soul not to the devil but to the idea of Heroism for a chance to redeem himself...that selfish kind of selflessness is the major crutch in his character and it is an obstacle he need to overcome or else he will self-destruct with a selfless smile as fake as Artificial on his face...just to prove that the world is ultimately wrong and true selflessness can exist.

    Any idea how to write that as a character... because I am trying
     
  6. Rosver

    Rosver Well-Known Member

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    Interesting backstory, but that is it, it is backstory. This isn't a character.

    Backstory explains the character, but isn't what the character is. You can meet a person and get the feel of the person's character without knowing about the person's history/backstory.
     
    Last edited: Dec 3, 2018
  7. Jinnai.l

    Jinnai.l The Jerkaiser, Ruler of 108th dimension,Jinny

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    So how do I make it into a character
     
  8. Rosver

    Rosver Well-Known Member

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    This is actually difficult.

    You have a backstory but that doesn't make a character.

    The easiest way to think about this with be personality traits. Is he kind? Pessimistic? Curious?

    This isn't exactly complete, but it does form the baseline for a character. Then you build from there including things like habits, behavior, knowledge, intelligence, etc.

    Really, this isn't something that could be explained with just comments. You actually have to study. Read books and stories and analyze them and the like. Study actual people and incorporate your observation into your writing. This is just too deep and complex a subject to be understood by simple explanations.
     
  9. Jinnai.l

    Jinnai.l The Jerkaiser, Ruler of 108th dimension,Jinny

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    And as for Ishtar she is an unrepentant self-center maniac... She is basically Aphrodite everything is about her.

    In her view those who hate her is just jealous. Only one person is exempt from that view thought and the moment that person arrive she turn into a cowering wreck
     
    Last edited: Dec 3, 2018
  10. Jinnai.l

    Jinnai.l The Jerkaiser, Ruler of 108th dimension,Jinny

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    Newest Update:

    Ever wonder what would happen when Earth got booted up into the magical world several league above us?


    I mean literal assimilation. Someone just plops the seven continents of Earth onto a massive world several time the sizes of our planet.


    This Horizon Record #1: About 100 days after Earth was assimilate into Phantasia in the event called Casualty Limit...

    To all my friends from our fair planet that might be reading this. I know things look desperate. I felt the same terror you felt when the Demonic Continent and Emma Enterprise took over the Middle East and half of Asia.

    Admittedly, I am not on one our continents right now. I am currently traveling on an endless journey with my new comrades... the goal of our Odyssey is far from over...

    Phantasia is a buffer against World Enemies-- Monsters from the realm between existences hell-bent on wiping everyone and everything from Multiverse. As the citizen of Phantasia we have a duty to keep them at bay. And we, to my dismay, was heading toward complete annihilation.

    The Demonic Continent will not rest until all other races is subjugate or wipe out. On the other side, the Holy Order will burn all that reject their world wield in hell of holy fire. The elves of Lightwell had allied themselves with Emma Enterprise and the Isle of Knowledge in an attempt to obtain monopoly over all wealth and power Phantasia had to offer. The other empires are steeped in corruption with the inevitable war between the factions of nobles and Liberator threatening to tore our society and security to pieces.

    And with Earth being largest landmass assimilate in a hundred year, all those eyes and claws are aiming upon our world.

    Meanwhile, the World Enemies got stronger every year. Unless something was done, Phantasia will be destroyed and the rest of the Multiverse will follow.

    So bring it on. We might be small and helpless but heroes had to come from somewhere. We made an oath to save all we can reach... call it naive or stupid but we will not allow any sacrifices.

    If absolute power was require to save everyone then we just have to achieve that absolute power and show all the worlds that heroes and knights still remain...that this is simply a beginning.


    Now watch us hard-carry this idiotic yet wonderful toward better future.

    This is Hikma De Darwin-- the 5th member of Horizon Dawn and the Chronicler of Magic...and this is our story...of not only me but the Horizon .
     
  11. Jinnai.l

    Jinnai.l The Jerkaiser, Ruler of 108th dimension,Jinny

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    I go over chapter 1 now... and made some improvement...is this okay now. I try to add a bit more personality into his mental monologuing.
     
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2018
  12. Jinnai.l

    Jinnai.l The Jerkaiser, Ruler of 108th dimension,Jinny

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    Thank you very much... How does Burning Edge Archipelago sound like.
     
  13. Feng Tian

    Feng Tian Well-Known Member

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    Honestly? Pretty bad. Its a name for the location but not the kingdom. The kinggdom itself would call itself Burning Edge, or a slightly altered version of it.
     
  14. GDLiZy

    GDLiZy Wise Deepsea Mermaid

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    It seems that our protagonist is a righteous hero. So, I say, beware of the hypocrite, we are very sensitive towards these things.

    Also, I sensed Burning Legion vibe here.
     
  15. Jinnai.l

    Jinnai.l The Jerkaiser, Ruler of 108th dimension,Jinny

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    I just edit chapter one...but here is a thing... he knew perfectly well what is wrong with him and that the reason why he is far from hypocrite.

    Every member of HD knew that they are signing up for the most impossible mission ever exist in the realm of fiction: save everyone. No protagonist can do that so far and this is the story of how a group for ragtag odd ball gain enough power to do exactly that against opponent who basically apocalyptic gods. And the impact it left the world

    If normal wuxia said that the world need cruelty and dog eat dog is a thing. The member of Horizon must be strong enough to spank the dogs and taught them to behave. Because human are not dogs so heir are no need to lower yourself to dog level
     
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2018
  16. Jinnai.l

    Jinnai.l The Jerkaiser, Ruler of 108th dimension,Jinny

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    I just up date chapter two...it will like give the first protagonist more detail and character

    Here is the link
    Rework CH1--Chapter 1: How Goddess Broke the End of the World as We Know It. (Rework)
    To be honest, crash landing was pretty new.

    This morning I woke up in a crater in a pretty unfamiliar land.

    Most people would panic. My cousin Jeane, the exhibit #1 of average pathetic denizen of modern society, would fly into inelegant rage at whatever put her here. At least it would be better than a group of people. People as a group will try to kill each other outright. Human was a cowardly being when drop into the unknown situation. Any trace of mercy and civility will be lost the moment one survival was at risk.

    Utterly pathetic, selfish and short sight. Good thing I was better than that. First, I need to keep calm. How? What? Why? and When? I need to get the story coherently. First, I have to find a clue

    'Welcome the beautiful people of Earth! I am your most beautiful and most beloved Goddess! The goddess of beauty and love Venus is here! Since I am both wonderful and merciful I will even allow you to call me by my eldest name: THE LEGENDARY ISHTAR!'

    I stared a the bodiless voice from the sky. Don't ask how can I stare at something bodiless. All I can assume is that annoyance tend to give me a strange power to look annoy. Please note that I was not panicking. Panicking in this situation was counter productive. My heart-rate might get a little jumpy and several dozen way I could die ran through my head but I was not panicking. My action was perfectly undercontrol.

    'My dear citizen, I am sure you are confused. But never fear, for I, Venus, shall explain. Your world had reached Causality Limit. With this accomplishment, your world gained the right to merge with Phantasia! Every member of Earth are now citizens of Phantasia! Welcome to the plane of the limitless world and new opportunities that await you! Welcome!'

    Oh great. Divine abduction. So the gods have nothing better to do other than abduct a 7 billion helpless people and their properties for nothing but short-live entertainment. Guess, the critic were right about the god being an immature man-child with no marriage counseling. Maybe they would love some death-stick.

    Anyway, I could almost guarantee that Jean and the folk back home was asking for a refund for this deal. Most of those self-obsess bastard live in the cage of normalcy and rhythm. Their view was not wrong but its too close-minded, inflexible and stagnating. Seriously, they're the one who need the glory stick of tipsy land.

    You see normal was overrated and the faster you accepted that fact the better you move on.

    When your freaking plane break because the engineer didn't know a thing about stress concentration point of the square windows, crying and blaming the pilot wouldn't help. All you can do in that scenario was curled into the safety position and think about how much you were going to sue the company if you survive. Stuff happen, bed was made, now lied on it like a grown up and sleep like a man. Jonathan Joestar did it. Itachi Uchiha did it. Martin Luther King Jr. did it. Stop being a big baby and followed their example.

    Well, that also meant accepting there would never be certainty in life and your entire life was a lie. It probably took a special kind of sociopath to chillingly accept that. You probably be depress to death by that fact alone...welcome to my world.

    To those of you who had XX chromosome. This applied to you two. Want to complain...oh almighty warrior for social justice. Let me tell you: JUSTICE IS A TWO WAY STREET YOU IMBECILE--EQUALITY AND RESPECT APPLY TO YOU TOO.

    While I was mentally monologuing, Venus/Ishtar/Whatever proceed to proof my point.

    'To those children who crying about getting their life back. Sorry to say that Earth had merged with Phantasia. In a certain way, Phantasia and Earth is one and the same. Do not fear children! The administrators of this world, spearheaded by the great me, know that you will need some transition time. We, as your benevolent gods, are offering a membership in our esteemed community for Earth and your government for the time being. You will soon need to get used to your new responsibility and benefit as a member of Phantasia. In front of you will appear your Status ID that will detail the rule and obligation of this world. FAREWELL AND PRAISE ME!'

    The voice cut off.

    In front of me, a growing card appeared. From it shined a list.

    1) This Status ID symbolised a citizenship of Phantasia grant to all Sentience Race.
    2) This ID measured and recorded ability and occupation of its owner.
    3) Criminal action will be registered on ID and reported directly to the administrator who will issue your bounty. Upon being kill or capture you will be placed in Phantasia's court for trial and punishment
    4) As long as the action does not break the administrative law, it was not considered Criminal Action. But you can still be tried and imprisoned by the local community.
    5) Criminal Actions are: intentional murder and robbery of the innocent, Betraying the world and joining with the World Enemy, Abusing animal that doesn't possess any threat level, hate crime, Baseless and groundless punishment, withholding the right of sentient species without consent and finally raping of both gender especially underage girl and married woman.

    I skimmed through the rule, tapping my shin and contemplating.

    So killing was bad. Corruption was bad. Good to know that rape was still a special kind of evil. I'd to say the rule is not perfect but at least the maker had his heart in the right place. But the World Enemies part was suspicious--too suspicious.

    'OWW!! I get it Athena. I, the all-powerful Ishtar, have returned. To the citizen of Earth, in case you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, never fear, this happens due to the fault of world-merging causing the shift in reality. If you are crying from fear, then rest assure. Experts are already dispatched to help this individual transition. Ishtar out!'

    So Athena was real too. What a surprise...not.

    Here was a thing about god. They're an immature brat with too much power and too little humility. Like all bad things in the world, if you saw one coming, then you had to suspect that 100 more was hiding under the floor board planning to douse you syrup before tossing you into a river with honey-addicted Anaconda. If Venus and Athena is real, the other time bomb would soon follow. I pitied the gentlemen and ladies who had to come up with counter plan in case Angra Mainyu appeared in the middle of Central and murder everyone.

    I, being me, had a counter plan for that particular scenario...one involving a revolver loaded with one bullet. At least suicide is better than suffering eternally in the grip of all evil in the world.

    Speaking of the critical detail... did this also apply to me?

    I looked around. With a sigh, I confirmed that I am really in the middle of nowhere. To my side was a wall and at my front and back was a canyon. What should I call this? E-rank luck in it finest? Well, complaining didn't do anything. Should I started reciting line from Shakesphere to curb the panic. Hey, just because I cannot feel panic didn't mean I didn't need to resist it.

    That sentence made perfect sense! Thank you very much.

    To be honest, I've never been this lost since our homeroom teacher got the class lost in a local forest during the field trip. I grimaced in my bleeding heart. The entire class got out of that mess by starting a fire. I tried to warn them it was a bad idea but like usual they never listened. It seemed like idiots never heard of smoke signal or emergency flare. In the end the teacher managed to get himself fired and the class got themselves a hell of detention. That would be fine and all if I was not dragged into that mess too.

    Remember kid, collective responsibility was a a lie.

    ...

    After a while of waiting and staring at rocks and resisting the pointlessness of life by humming the tune about all the stupid way I could kick the curb, I decided to play with my new toy namely the so-call Status ID.

    Rem Breaker
    Job
    Stat
    Str: 30(E)
    End: 29 (E)
    Mag: 38 (E)
    Wis: 101 (D)
    Dex: 35(E)

    Skill

    Active
    Arrival of Dream (N/A)

    Passive
    Reality Breaker(Ex)
    The Way of Optimism(N/A)

    The format was something rip out of a typical RPG. Let use Jeane as an example. Cousin had their used, especially the cynical loud type with nothing better to do.

    In this case Str(strength) was physical ability. Jeane being a power house with no brain would excel in this stat given that should could punch hard and lift stuff hard. End(endurance) is how much hit you can take. Jeane, admittedly, excel at this no matter how many time she fell down she got up again more persistence and more rabid than ever. Mag(Magic) is a measure of your magic output. Using Jeane as a measuring stick against 1 Gandalf, I can create my theory. Assuming that both of them had equal amount of fuel, which I would name the X-energy, the magic would be amount they can put out. If they both used the same spell Gandalf's Mag of 100 would utterly decimate Jeane's Mag of 5. Gandalf still used more energy but Jeane on the other hand would lose handily. I don't know how much Magic someone had but I guess that would likely relate with Wis(Wisdom). Dexterity was obviously the speed and reaction time. Someone as quick to respond as Jeane will likely got a high value in this case.

    The letter like E or D in the bracket could be compared to the rank or mastery of the skill. The higher the mastery the more ability you can pull out of the spell at less power. Given that I just land in this world, E-rank as a stat sound about right. I would go out of my way and said that Ex-rank was completely broken.

    But the question was how did I got the Ex-rank skill. What was N/A meant? Is it read as no rank? How does that work? How did I activate the skill? To many questions and no way of answering.

    No, I have to calm down and lied in the bed the answer will come to me. Most of all I would not panic.

    Crash!

    Some people often said I am too cold. I agreed because I felt practically no panic what so ever when a visibly large mountain bike crash landed next to me creating another crater. Guess the 'I-shall-not-panic-mantra' work after-all.

    But today had simply been too weird. As weird as it is it also pretty simple. Once you think about life hard enough, the prospect of getting crush by falling bike ceased to be as terrifying as its sound. It either heaven existed and I spent an afterlife chilling with Micheal Jackson or, assuming that the atheist was right, then I face vast unexciting void free from pain of any kind including, but not limit to, boredom.

    Death was a kind of release when you think about it. What was so precious about life under the mountain of stress and expectation any way? Yeah...stress and expectation...it sap everything away.

    And by saying that I just invited the fanatics into losing their inhibition and starting a murder spree, stupid humanity and their stupid self-destroying tendency. That why we couldn't have nice thing!

    "I am going to die!" Said a tide up blonde hair girl on the bike.

    "Shut the hell up useless goddess!" A furry animal dropped from the bike driver seat. "If Athena didn't force me, I wouldn't even be here. Just because you are Artio's niece and the snake goddess's student didn't mean you can act like a spoil brat in front of me."

    "Shut up you honey badger," the girl yelled. "I will tell aunt Artio about this. Master and grandma Gaia will know about it too."

    The badger pulled a large ball out of nowhere and forced it into the girl mouth and started spanking her with a flying pan. Speaking of the flying pan, isn't the satchel that produce it seemed to be too small. Space magic perhaps.

    But anyway, anyone please call a child abuse hotline and gave me a golf club. I had a pathetic goddess to save and misuse frying pan to report! Anyone! Oh yeah, Earth, and by extension, the nearest social service was mile away. I couldn't even have a gold club.

    Prolong exposure to such absurdity caused the light of logic in my eyes ceased to function. My brain went into the mayday mode. I tucked away my Status ID and stood up proud. There was only one thing to do now. I couldn't run away. I need my answer. Now only one thing came to my mind.

    "Excuses me, sir," I looked at the duo. "Where can I find the information boot in this canyon?"
     
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2018
  17. Jinnai.l

    Jinnai.l The Jerkaiser, Ruler of 108th dimension,Jinny

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    In fact I think Chapter 2 will give you an idea with how badly our protagonist willing believe in that idea.
     
  18. Jinnai.l

    Jinnai.l The Jerkaiser, Ruler of 108th dimension,Jinny

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    Well the it was an Island Kingdom rule by a dragon kin family...do you have any suggestion
     
  19. Jinnai.l

    Jinnai.l The Jerkaiser, Ruler of 108th dimension,Jinny

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    Note I just edit the first 2 chapter to improve the characterization. What do you think about it?
     
  20. Jinnai.l

    Jinnai.l The Jerkaiser, Ruler of 108th dimension,Jinny

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    Rework of Chapter 2...any feed back

    Chapter 2: The Noob Goddess and Wisest Honey Badger (Rework)

    Hi, Rem Breaker was here. After brief introduction let say that I and my new conversational partner. The Honey Badger got along like a chum. Did I find this weird? Of course it was but weirdness then and there made life interesting. Do you think I am someone like Jeane who couldn't comprehend the thing above mundane. Or my father who stagnate in the close-mind model of life. Do you think keeping thing logical and mundane led to excellence?

    No! No! No! No! NO!

    Divergence and specialization is the key of life. Pablo Picasso taught us that. Every inventor and artist need to pull every trick they had to reach excellence. Generic mindset and inability to separate yourself from the mud of pre-conceptualize mold is some of the greatest weakness of sentient species. Humanity in general reject difference so let reject that mindset and be more than a human.

    Let talk to the Honey Badger like it is the most natural thing in the world!

    "So you are an Earthling who got lost during the transmigration," The Honey Badger said.

    "Yes, to be corrected, I am not lost, it is the world that lost me." I answered back. Yes, that was right. You should not despair from those glass-half-empty rumors. Wise men always knew that the glass always half full.

    "Just from that sentence alone you catapulted yourself to the top fifty if the most interesting man I've ever met." The badger chuckled in amusement. "I expected you to be panicking when you meet a talking badger."

    "Panicking didn't change anything," I sipped the drink. The taste was pretty great. "And I made going out of my comfort zone my Chrismas Resolution."

    "Good for you."

    Something bumped into my leg, knowing what it was, I elected to ignore it.

    "So what do you plan to do next?" The Badger asked curiously.

    "I will answer your question with another question," I asked back. Damn I always wanted to use that line. "What would you do if you find yourself transport to another world in the middle of nowhere with no resource nor clue of what going on?"

    "Well..." The Badger looked guiltily at Rem. "I will admit I will probably used my survival skill to survive in the desert but I don't think you have that option."

    "Yes indeed," I nodded. "I can always chose go crazy as an option. But since I am the most civilize man within this few kilometers, I picked a slightly better option. As the Count of Monte Cristo had said--'wait and hope'."

    The badger snorted.

    "That a stupid choice young man. Hope cannot feed you or solve your problem. Only power can."

    Heh...wow...that mindset was pretty much everywhere isn't it? Is it that fun? Tearing down each other until nothing remain. Killing hope and optimism and slowly burning its to oblivion. It must be fun right, laughing as people breakdown when they fail to live up to expectation. Killing dream with cruel reality you help created. Laughing as you deconstruct hero and hope... turning it into a killer and a joke. Messing with something so sacred because you never understand what it meant. You all take that pedestal, that guide of humanity, that seemingly impossible dream, and hammer it into smithereens before gluing the piece back together as satirical joke. What type of people turn a saint into a trash.

    The evil kind of course. The one who willingly let the world burn as the brainless mass copy your example.

    To those who laugh at honor, at the sacred men who held principle and morality, I will ask you this. Burner of this world and its beauty, do you feel any shame?

    If you don't maybe you will do when I turn you into a joke.

    "Well you are here aren't you?" I said malice leaking from my voice. "An answer to my problem landed in front of me. You can't argue with the result right?"

    "The method is wrong!"

    "Yep, but what is 'wrong'?" I said, burning with inner fire. "If I sacrifice one innocent man to save one innocent woman, am I wrong?"

    "There are no right answer to that question. No matter what you do, you did nothing wrong at all. The concept of 'right' and 'wrong' is based only on social norm and can be easily overturn throughout the era." The Badger said.

    "Incorrect. Killing that man is totally incorrect. Whoever did it should be shoved in the pit full of salt and slowly baked by the combine saltiness of the entire canine race."

    "Are you trolling me?"

    "Not at all, it is only that man happened to be a doctor holding secret to a procedure that could save million of lives. Moreover, one of these lives happens to be a man who is the main pillar in peace-movement between two largest countries on the planet. By dooming him to die, you literally kill a thousand of innocent people and, may or may not, sparked a war which will lead to extinction of humanity."

    The Badger stared at me.

    "This is ridiculous." The badger glared at the young man. "No matter how could I know significance of the man life?"

    "Oh by the way, the woman happened to hold a way to stop a weapon of mass destruction heading for a country."

    "This means that no matter the choice it will be wrong none the less!" The Badger grabbed her hair in frustration.

    "Yes, you will be wrong." I glared at her. "You are wrong the moment you pick sacrificing one to save another as an option. Idiotic thought experiment isn't it? You don't get to chose. You don't know the future. How can you sure that saving one life will guarantee the safety of many? Are you going to chose one world over another next? Are you sure there won't be a butterfly effect? Want to hear a story, once upon the time a man had to decide whether or not to let a trolley kill five people or to divert the track and let it ran over one man. He chose to let one die and the twist is that the man happened to be an electrical engineer responsible for a family of six with two elderly, a pregnant wife and three kid. The mother kill herself from grief. The grand parent pass away from starvation and the kids grew up traumatize, one ran into the street and died in a violent death, the daughter become a prostitute and die of drug abuse, another one become serial killer that responsible for at least 20 murder. One to save many? What a joke! You save five but kill twenty-seven."

    "You never tell me the detail..."

    "And you never ask for it?" Rem said. "You don't have time to ask. You don't even try when you chose. Do you know the man and woman in my previous scenario was strap to doomsday machine that ran on life force to prevent the destruction of a planet? You can just re-arrange a circuit and hook it to a chicken farm and it would still work, maybe hook it to a tree or maybe hook it to yourself until they got a replacement, or share the load. You are so convince it either kill or be kill that you couldn't think of the third option or the emergency stop button that would stop the rail. Maybe you should start being more hopeful. With that cynical outlook you are going to need it."

    The Badger's eye twitched and glared at me as if trying to read my thought. Her eyes widen when she realized how bloody serious I am.

    And the Badger burst out laughing.

    "Goddammit," She laughed. "A kid manage to make me speechless. To think that there are someone so spiteful and pessimistic yet believes in hope and idealism to the point obsession. A believe on the level of steel to boot. If that centaur knew about this argument I will never hear the end of it."

    Centaur huh... it appeared that mythological god from Earth was interlinked with this world. Although they contained some grain of truth, those myths could not be trusted given that Ishtar from ancient Babylon and Venus who originate from Greek are one and the same. If I had to throw a quick theory, it would seem that being from this world come to Earth at some point and get worship by human as gods. Speaking of 'Centaur', she would likely be talking about Chiron--the infamous teacher of half-heroes in Greek mythology.

    "Oh so you know about the horse too." the Badger pouted. "That grouchy old man got the perk of being famous. Too many of his student ascended. How annoying?"

    So it appeared the ancient heroes in mythology ascended into the god hood.

    "Not exactly true. In the past when the ancient heroes of Earth surpassed the limitation of casualty they are reincarnate into Phantasia as ascended being. From our side, we can manifest ourselves or send avatar to enjoy life in your world. It's like an RPG for us." The badger answered the question in my brain.

    Mind reading...that was a dangerous ability...calm the hell down Rem. You had nothing to hide.

    "You are reading my mind?"

    "Just mental probing," the Badger said. "You know what kid. You are interesting. Most of the idealist I know is naive as a kid and need to be taught a reality. But you, you know how hard and corrupt reality could be yet, within you is a worship of idealism and principle that was almost unshakable. Want to be my student?"

    Suddenly, out of nowhere a tied-up blonde girl struggled up and cough a ball out of her mouth. It appeared she finally got fed up from bumping into me over and over.

    "WHAAT!" The girl looked at the Badger. "Are you serious? You picking this no name mortal with no combat experience as your student! This can't happen. No way. You still have to mentor me! You can't pick a human apprentice while mentoring a goddess!"

    I sincerely hoped the Badger still read my mind and shoved the ball back into her mouth. What with it with the gods. Are they all immortal representation of immaturity with too much power? Did they even feel shame that human of all races is more mature than them?

    "Cytortia , the only thing you have is good relative and excellent master. You are the last person who could criticize him. If everyone had Nu Wa as their master, they would be as good as you."

    The girl huffed. No wonder she was arrogant little brat. Nu Wa was considered the creator of mankind in Chinese myth and an equivalent to the empress of heaven--given that she wedded the Heavenly Emperor. If the myth was true, she's no slouch in combat department. Given half the thing Nuwa accomplished in her myth, it was a no brainer to say she would wipe the floor with the like of Venus.

    "But we have no time to look after a mortal. I need to recruit someone like a dragon-kin or something." The girl pouted.

    "That why the other imperial princess is knocking you around like a ping-pong ball!" the Badger yelled. "They have as much potential as you but they sure as hell know how to advertise! Plus, they wouldn't get dupe by a five years old! You already have a high stairs to climb don't increase the height girl."

    "Please don't remind me..." She sulked. Her eyes gazed in the distant horizon.

    Wow, that was one quick mood change. Did she had a bipolar or split-personality disorder.

    To be fair on the girl, she didn't look half bad. Golden hair styled straight with a tiny lock covering her ears. Her face was sharp with round adorable forest green eyes. Basically, she was beautiful but just too immature. Sure her chest and body could be called curvy but more like a moderate curvy. If her opponent fell into the school idol, class president or the flat chest little sister type she was going to a hell of a wrangle (all Japanese men a lolicon after-all) .

    "Speaking of which you must be pretty high on a totem pole to mentor Nu Wa's student. Who are you?" I asked the Badger.

    "Well I will give you a hint," the badger gave me a toothy smile. "My true form is quite a lady and I have trained quite a few hero in the wildest part of ancient Ireland in your world."

    "Basically the Celt," I said. England was more associated with Arthurian myth which is the source of concept for Chivalry. The wild hero was more associated with Ireland and Scotland. Only one name came to mind when you factored in the woman part into equation. She was the teacher of the hound of Ulster who was the greatest warrior in the Celtic myth. I am not an expert in said myth but even I knew her name.

    "Well, to think that I am about to be taught by the legendary Scathach herself. Or I could totally be wrong and you are her sister Aife. But why are you a Badger?"

    "Don't worry kid I am Scathath alright," the badger, Scathath, said. "As for the Badger, it drew less attention than my true form. It would be bad is someone tracked me while I mentored this kid."

    "Her competitor I guess." Given that the god from myth loved bickering more than their breakfast, it was a smart move to take a disguise while teaching a goddess who was basically in a drama war with factions of antagonistic students. Seriously didn't they have anythingg better to do? If Steve Job live as long as they do, we will already have Virtual I-Tech V 300 Ex. Immortality was truly wasted on them.

    "So do you have a knighting ceremony or something when taking a student." I asked

    "You seriously think she would accept you! This is lady Scathath we are talking about!"

    "Gave me your Status ID," Scathath ignored Cytortia's complaint. Wow, for an Imperial goddess taught by Nu Wa, she sulked pretty fast--bipolar disorder confirmed. "We will just give you a title of
    Squire of Shadow. Once you graduated you will achieved the same rank with Setanta as a Knight of Shadow."

    I handed her my Status ID. She scrutinized the stat. The face she made was down right disturbing.

    "How is it? In fact why did some of my skill rank (N/A)"

    Scathath showed me my ID.

    Rem Breaker
    Job
    Stat
    Str: 30(E)
    End: 29 (E)
    Mag: 38 (E)
    Wis: 101(D) >> 302 (B)
    Dex: 35(E)

    Skill

    Active
    Arrival of Dream (N/A)

    Passive
    Reality Breaker(Ex)
    The Way of Optimism(N/A)

    "Wait my wisdom just tripple," I looked at the stats in disbelief. "How?"

    "The card always strive to adapt to the current user limit," Scathath explained. "My guess is you normally hide your wisdom away but unleash a full force of your thoughtfulness during your condemning."

    "There is nothing wise about my answers."

    "Is it? Deconstructing the establish norm and staying your course in the believes that better solution exist despite knowing the hopelessness of situation. Your talk like a man ridden with hatred and despair yet every word from your mouth was directed toward the dream of hopeful future--reconstructing hope and idealism while other people tore it down without backing of. That require both moral fortitude and wisdom above even most of the god themselves."

    I nodded. Scathath was one of the greatest master in ancient world for a reason and her assessment was spot on.

    "But what is disturbing is your skill." Scathath said.

    Cytortia snatched my ID from Scathath paws and looked at it. The girl was without a doubt lacking in both grace and manner. She had moderately attractive body but an immaturity that more than cancel out its benefit. What a shame?

    "Wow, the stat is down right average for a mortal," Cytortia exclaimed excitedly. Personally, I believed that in this case she was too excited. Meanwhile, Scathath smirked. This couldn't end well for the noob goddess.

    "E is everywhere. Average Bloodhound will make a mince meat out of him. His endurance is a point below average human. His dexterity, magic and strength is around average at best. Wait. What with this absurdly high wisdom?! It even higher than mine? Hell, I guess only some among the high-rollers can match it. And his skills...no combative skill like fencing or martial art, unsurprising given that he is a new meat. I guess some will appear once he learned mana-control. And what is...eh"

    Then she shut-up. The next time she looked at me with one emotion was there that was never seen on her face--fear.

    "Hey Master," the girl said on the verge of freaking out. "This puny mortal have an Ex-Rank skill and what is N/A. Even Silver and Chuang don't have a Ex-rank skill. How...how can he had it. He just a human right? Is he some kind of stealth demigod."

    "Ex-rank? It is that impressive?"

    "Kid, Ex-rank is on the scale of King of the Gods. It's a skill that defied the very law of the Universe itself. And that N/A meant the the skill is impossible to measure. The only way to know anything about it is too awaken your mana and used it."

    Scathath scampered down on the ground and drew a circle on the sand.

    "In fact we are actually send here to do this. Every new citizen of Phantasia undergone mana awakening when they arrived. Your peers already undergone this process hours ago and now it is your time."