Outer Space Aliens are Relocatees

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Didact, Aug 29, 2021.

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  1. Didact

    Didact Active Member

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    Calm down, calm down, y’all. Before rushing to bring out your pitchforks, at least hear me out, k?
    Now, to further elaborate on this:
    1. You rarely ever hear about any alien sightings outside of the US. Why? Because obviously, aliens are immigrants from a third-class world looking for greener pastures, and what better place to settle than US (I mean, if you’re gonna go for it, at least go big)
    2. UK is a no-go (weather and football fans), can’t go to Canada and Russia either (too cold), China doesn’t tolerate non-communists, Japa will try to fuck them, Australia’s too dangerous, India’s too dirty and congested (Aliens need to breathe too #Alienlivesmatter), and who even goes to the South America’s nowaday (hey hey, aliens have standards too)
    3. They need a good, stable job to feed their children too, so only settle for a place where basic minimum wage is guaranteed (nobody ever said that feeding 20 mouths was easy [5 each])
    4. They need a place where their rants about humans are actually being listened to on twitter, so what better place for an alien rights debate than US, am I right?
    5. They like attention.
    6. They like fast food chains
    7. They like the Hollywood sign.
    8. They like feature films starring famous aliens from their planet

    Now that you’ve all of that, it’s basically a done deal to settle for America, innit?

    (Just as a reminder, if you’re not able to get it till now, this is just a lighthearted thread, not to be taken seriously. This does not reflect the views of the op, so no coming after my life for saying anything controversial. Take it with a pinch of salt, and move on, hmm k?)

    So now that I’ve planted this cured thought into your mind, sweet dreams!
     
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  2. otaku31

    otaku31 Well-Known Member

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    And politics is frowned upon. If you had steered this discussion in the direction of the other definition of alien, your thread could've found shelter here much as third world immigrants find haven in first world nations.
     
  3. Mr Popo

    Mr Popo A genie that don't grant wishes

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    Agreed, Americans themselves conquered the actual native Americans and killed many of them only to settle in their land and claim it as their own, it does make sense for aliens to aim for such great land after all, they are not the first to do so XD
     
  4. Didact

    Didact Active Member

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    My dear sir, how could you even… *gasps* I might need to talk to a manager here for the slanderous filth you’re spreading about me here. Bring me your incharge here asap!! *karen stomps away to the corner* *keeps glaring at you*
     
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  5. Aachiin0914

    Aachiin0914 Full-time NEET✿

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    I thought it's about alien talk.

    When I saw the title I became thoughtful and then nodded in agreement.

    Aliens are really immigrants.
     
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  6. Kemm

    Kemm Custom title

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    Correction: YOU rarely ever hear about any alien sightings outside of the US. Alien sightings are a fad and tend to happen around a point in time. Several places I know have seen their fair share of alien sightings have been the whole of South America, particularly Brazil, during most of the mid-late 20th century, Spain during the 70s, France every couple decades or so, not to mention some places in Norway where they still have UFO sightings even now.

    Personally, I believe that they have an explanation other than extraterrestrial spacecrafts, but US ufologists and aficionados tend to be very US-centric.
     
  7. Delirious

    Delirious [Code of conduct]

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    Well, fortunately, Americans weren't the only ones to do so; and they won't be the last.
     
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  8. SerialBeggar

    SerialBeggar Hate your family? Got no friends? Gimme your stuff

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  9. Marvin

    Marvin The Man who realize love

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    This topic is all fun and interesting till you bought the politics.... Shame this is topic that i'd liked to discuss....

    Shame, Shame, Shame
     
  10. anotherAniket

    anotherAniket Well-Known Member

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    In case you haven't seen it. District 9 is a great alien movie.
     
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  11. Nightow1

    Nightow1 Well-Known Member

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    You know, I actually once saw a "UFO". It was even the classic shape, inverted dish bottom, dome on top etc. Well, I was not a believer of UFOs, or at least I know that any species with any intelligence does things for reasons and trolling UFOs in front of the public would not make sense so I waited a bit and the "UFO" turned. It was apparently the rear 3/4 view of a blimp from afar, the "dish" at the bottom was actually the back of the tailfins while the "dome" at the top was the top curvature of the blimp. I suspect some of the "classic" UFOs are actually blimp sightings, given that the image and what I saw matched so closely that it was uncanny.

    Yes it was.

    As another "Murica Numba One!!" thread, it's kind of cringy. Didact, if you're not embarrassed, I'm embarrassed enough for you lol.

    Real bragging is when someone else brags about you. Self promotion is cringe.
     
  12. Anra7777

    Anra7777 All powerful magic grammar hamster queen pirate.

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    Here in America, legally speaking, immigrants are considered aliens. Colloquially speaking, it’s a negative term that’s not quite a slur,* because it is used legally, but is used to dehumanize immigrants outside of the legal setting. I had an immigrant co-worker tell me once that he’d been called an alien and he asked me what it meant.

    This is a bad shower thought.

    *”alien” in terms of space aliens is a neutral term. It’s only negative when talking about Earth people.
     
    Last edited: Aug 29, 2021
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  13. Didact

    Didact Active Member

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    Well, if wasn’t already made clear enough, I didn’t intend this to have any political, or derogatory interpretation in any way (legally or colloquially). It was just a light-hearted jab at existing stereotypes, and if you’ve felt insulted or attacked in any way, since I seem to have touched a sore spot, then I would like to apologize for that. Clearly, making a joke is not my cup of tea, so I’ll try to abstain as much as possible. Here, take a dogeza from me.

    As a clarification, again, this post just refers to OUTER SPACE ALIENS, not be considered as anything else. No more, no less.

    If you still have a problem, drag me to a space alien court then.


    And P.S: I’m not even from US, so yayyy ‘Muerica numba one. Does this validate it as a real brag now, hm? Although this does seem like a kindergarten comeback, it is what it is. Knock yourself out with the cringe. May the cringe remain forever strong in you.
     
  14. Parth37955

    Parth37955 NU #3, [Dead Inside], Mid-Boss, Dark Dealer Staff Member

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