Poem [PARTNERS IN RHYME] Pyoo Poem Pool

Discussion in 'Community Creations' started by Pyoo, Jun 21, 2016.

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How should I structure or order this?

Poll closed Aug 10, 2016.
  1. Chronological

    12 vote(s)
    54.5%
  2. Thematic

    10 vote(s)
    45.5%
  1. Lucky Charm

    Lucky Charm Well-Known Member

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    Is that so?
    I think I just read for the enjoyment, rather than to see the thought processes, but to each their own I guess.
     
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  2. Action

    Action Frederic Leighton - Flaming June

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    @Pyoo

    Dear Ms. Poet Prolific,
    Your anthology's quite terrific
    But what you penned,
    Does it have an end?
    Sincerely, Ms. Unoptimistic

    I'm still reading all your poems lol ... SO MANY

    --

    I finished! You've definitely improved since you first started. The poetry battles are fun to read and damn are some people good. What I love about your poems, is how they've inspired other people (including me) to also write poems. Thanks for reminding me of the beauty of poetry <3

    But I don't fully get a few of your poems. Makes me feel dumb OTL. Clearly, I need to cultivate my poetry level. Or I could just stick to limericks. Limericks are life!
     
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2017
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  3. Lady Luck

    Lady Luck <The Goddess of Love and War>

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    Cool! XD
    Yesss!! Their past experiences and beliefs are also reflective in that
    Did you read them all? There's so many @-@
     
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  4. BlancFrost

    BlancFrost ❄Middle child: Carm & Dev + Sio's FSIL ❄

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    Nope not yet~ I have read the first half I think. Will read the rest later today. There are a lot but seeing the improvement is nice \o/
     
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  5. Pyoo

    Pyoo <Shopabirdy> <The Melody of Summer>

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    Oh you switched the colours?
    Super nice, I've never tried this concept before, but merging 2 poems to one is always an interesting one
    *nodnod* I would love to do that but damn there are a lot
    Have you seen @Poetic Hall of Reflection ? And the some people like @Risus and @Accidentally poem on their own profile. some like @Lonelycity poem in other people's profile (I forgot who his partner was)
    I mostly do this too cause there's simply too much
    But the poems that make you think are nice~ I like those more I guess, makes you pause and ponder~ and think of their beliefs and thought process~
    XD that's a nice poem
    but WHOAAA you read them all!? *hugs* thank youuuu
    You're the second person I know of to do so XD

    Hm~? Improved in what way~? What did you like most and why~? Which came to you (at you?) most~?

    Whoa >/////< Thank youuu! You honestly just made my day~! So you write poems now?~

    Haha no, no, different backgrounds and spheres of mind (as in you're exposed to different things from me and what the poem convey may be lost on you), which were they?
    Limericks are fun~ Tho I free verse most of the time XD
    WHOA~
    Tell me what you think of them as a whole and individually \o/
     
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  6. Bielt

    Bielt 『Planets Eater』『The Sin of Animosity』

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    Hahaha~
    Yeah I did~
    @seven taught me some color codes to make it better~ ^^

    Thank you~
    >W<
    It's was a sudden idea that came up~
    But I think it's something nice~
    A bit hard but nice ~ XD



    Hehehe~
    Pyoo always inspire new poets~
    As your poems are nice and interesting~♥
     
  7. Pyoo

    Pyoo <Shopabirdy> <The Melody of Summer>

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    ayee
    Oh since ur startong to poem more, u should rly consider making ur own pool
    Oh i never rly heard ur take on my poems, have i? Like the whole of it
    Totally not forcing u to read everything~ :whistle:
     
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  8. Bielt

    Bielt 『Planets Eater』『The Sin of Animosity』

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    hahaa~
    I will start to consider it~ ^^
    It will be a bit difficult to find the older ones~ >w<

    hahaha~
    you haven't XD
    hahaha~
    okay~ ^^)7
    I will read them all~
    and tell you my take on them~
    *wink*
     
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  9. BlancFrost

    BlancFrost ❄Middle child: Carm & Dev + Sio's FSIL ❄

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    There are a lot, we just need more time lol

    Oh thanks for that Pyoo, I will check out those profiles and read their poems when I have time~
    Alright o7 I will tell you when I eventually finish them all~ \o/
     
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  10. Action

    Action Frederic Leighton - Flaming June

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    I think your flow has gotten better. I feel like at the beginning sometimes, you felt like you had the obligation to end-rhyme, leaving some parts feeling forced. Though later on you still rhyme, it feels less forced. Your imagery has always been pretty solid. Your stresses have gotten better. I feel like at the beginning, they were all over the place. I also love the metaphors you use. That's my general impression anyways.

    Favorites:
    Humor category:
    - Mt. Tai: As someone who reads Chinese novels, how could this not be among my favorite?
    - I died when I read SoloFlame and got to "I lied, I have a secret unknown / There's this site called rhymezone". HAHAHA so true
    - Necromancy: when the guy whips out the special ointment lmao

    Cute:
    - Be a Poet Too
    How I would recruit (AKA pressure) soon-to-be poets:
    Yo whaddup
    You into rhyme?
    Well too bad
    It's poetry time!​

    Serious:
    - I like A River Flows and Commitment and Dreams, which felt like an answer to the prior
    - I loved some lines you wrote (too lazy to list) and think you wrap up some poems really solidly

    I didn't fully get Red. I also don't understand what's going on in Tainted, and why the other person's heart is hurt. I also didn't get Dead Crypt.

    I've always been an on and off poet. One whenever inspiration strikes. I typically write poems with strict rhyme and stress schemes, mainly because I'm too scared to venture into the free verse territory. No rules and anything goes? Too frightening, someone hold me.
     
  11. Lady Luck

    Lady Luck <The Goddess of Love and War>

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    New Wars with @BlancFrost and @Carm
    Sweet
    Don't turn around,
    Let me look at your back.
    It is more reassuring,
    Then the smirk you just had.
    I can do this myself,
    Without any help.
    One step,
    Two steps,
    Crash.
    I hold in the cry,
    But you turn at my gasp.
    Watching me fondly,
    Before coming back.
    Reaching out and giving me a hand,
    I take it eagerly,
    Blushing red with shame.
    My first steps were wobbly,
    You are to blame.
    Dirt
    A misty morning
    Lingering dew
    Freshening the earth
    Sticking closely
    Giving life to the ground

    A glistening leaf
    Rustling under the sun
    Shading the earth
    Rooting firmly
    A life born from the ground

    A joyous deer
    Leaping among the grass
    Tending the earth
    Playing carelessly
    Its life upon the ground

    A wise man
    Sitting on tender soil
    Gazing the earth
    Its everlasting company
    Life that'd return to the ground
    Winds of Change
    Passing by each other,
    Like strangers.
    Not glancing,
    Not acknowledging.

    Change was too sudden,
    As the storm rolls in.
    Splattering across the sidewalk,
    Not letting anyone in.

    Sun shines through,
    When it has a chance.
    But the storm rages on,
    Holding its stance.

    She comes in,
    Sweeping across the clouds.
    All is now well,
    Peace at last.
    xxx
    Liar
    Deceit,
    A mistruth to oneself,
    As they continue to look away,
    Run away,
    From reality,
    Continuing to make delusions,
    Create illusions,
    And lie.
    Running Out of Time
    Rushing past
    Leaping fast
    The rabbit ran
    As fast as it can

    Oh no! It held tightly its watch
    Running out of breaths to catch
    On this important day its late
    Hope it won't lead to bad fate
    Unnatural Tidiness
    Sweep left,
    Sweep right,
    Sweep left,
    Sweep right,
    A speck of dust shall not escape my eyes,
    A cleanliness that will not be undermined,
    My broom will sweep,
    And those dirty shall weep,
    As cleanliness engulfs them,
    And order is restored,
    Sweep left,
    Sweep right,
    Sweep left,
    Sweep right.
    Why do birds fly
    Dance along the wind
    Shift from breeze to breeze
    Run through the sky
    Feel the air rush by
    Live like a bird should

    Conquring the skies
    Crossing the seas
    Soaring through the land
    Freely, without limits
    Fly like a bird should
    Whispers of the night
    The wind caresses the land,
    Following it a silent melody,
    Overhead the moon shines bright,

    As you walk across the sand,
    The gentle echoes of the breeze come forth,
    As the whispers of the night.
    Bliss
     
    Last edited: Oct 14, 2017
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  12. Pyoo

    Pyoo <Shopabirdy> <The Melody of Summer>

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    Oohhh~ I guess so~
    imagery eh~? *nodnod* I guess cause at the beginning I poem to poem, but now there are intentions or stories or something behind the poems?
    Hm~? you're the second to comment on my metaphors~

    XD
    welp~ they won't be a poet too that way XD

    Oh~! Commitment and Dreams is something I never expected to have a mention. Cause it's like a collection of shorts and it's kinda all over the place (?)
    Yea I gues it's related
    So you like the theme of A River Flows the most~? (Since it's continued in Commitment and Dreams? iirc?) Why so~?
    yay thanks~

    Red was made with self harm in mind. The exhilirating cuts and the death in red.
    Tainted, well it's about someone who cares, empathizes, or dramatizes about someone else's hurt, enough for the person hurt to have to be the one acting strong for the other person. Something like that. I'm the one tained but you're the one hurt. I'm the one who should be crying yet I can't. Cause you won't let me.
    Dead Crypt.. Guess that's an inside, context relevant joke. It's on discord tho, so there's no link to the context.

    Ooo~ You have some poems here~?
    Strict stress schemes?
    Hahaha~~ I don't like it rhyming (unless I'm feeling like having fun (?))
    Tho even as I free verse, I find it fun to stick to some patterns and self-imposed rules
     
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  13. Action

    Action Frederic Leighton - Flaming June

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    for the commitment and dreams, I was referring to the latter half:
    Somewhere along the line
    Somewhere in the river of time
    Drifting about
    I am lost
    - - -
    Where am I going?
    Time will tell
    Floating about the river
    But the river flows uncaring
    - - -
    Uncaring of the destination
    Uncaring of the journey
    Uncaring of your desires
    Uncaring of you
    - - -
    Fight the currents
    Gather your strength
    Make the choice
    You’re braver than you think
    - - -
    The river may not care
    But it’s your life to care
    And you’re the captain
    The steering wheel is yours to take
    - - -
    A youngster in life still has much to learn
    Much to earn, much to yearn
    A spirit of youth still has much to go through,
    Much to fight through, much to cry through

    where it takes the "river flows uncaring" and turns it around

    I think the phrase "flows uncaring" is chosen well. For the "A River Flows", I liked the how you started the first 3 stanzas with different themes (river, time, crowd). Also, the title reminds me of River Flows in You by Yiruma.

    I think what made these two poems really stick out for me, was the narrative and the message. It really resonated with me.

    It starts by painting an apathetic world. A person is but a grain of sand on a riverbank. But a minuscule footnote in the annals of history. But a turning cog in the wheels of society. E pluribus unum. Out of many, one.

    Not only are we small to the point of indiscernible, but meek to the point of futile. What are we in the face of time? in the face of nature? Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust.

    But I don't think the message was pessimistic. Jaded maybe, but not negative. It simply rings true. There is as much solace as dismay to be had in knowing that the river flows uncaring.

    The second poem gives the jaded voice of the first poem a resounding exuberant answer. So what, if I am small in the eyes of time and weak to the might of nature? So what if I am but one? So what? My life may be nothing to you, but to me? It's everything.

    ===

    I don't have poems here ... unless you count the poem I wrote the other day in some massive poem/rhyme thread ...
    He started out weak but with intellect
    Then trained in the Dao to the best effect

    Now power so strong he can sweep the sect
    Got family and friends that he must protect
    Plot armor so tough he can resurrect
    His harem so large he gets girls unchecked
    His schemes so deep that you can't detect
    Yup, he's the Mt. Tai that you don't suspect
    You'll court your own death if you disrespect

    It's still a work in progress because the last line bothers me and I still have some lines I want to add ;-;

    I'm a slow poem writer. I don't know how long it takes other people, but poems usually take me many hours, spread over many days, to get right. Plus, I would rather spend time reading than writing so I usually average less than 5 a year. RIP ME. I'll still try to post them somewhere (maybe my profile) when I'm done with them.
     
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  14. Pyoo

    Pyoo <Shopabirdy> <The Melody of Summer>

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    OMG I have even forgotten I wrote something like that XD
    Thank youuu!
    Well the river is a reference (metaphor?) to life anyway (most specifically time), life goes on after all~

    Ah your words for it are nice~
    But yes that was my thoughts as I wrote it~
    <3 i'm so happy you chose this ^^
    My favourite ones are I guess this and Charmed (Old Man)

    Hmm? Those count don't they? After all I started here, as an amateur poem in a random profile post~
    XD that's a fun poem~!
    haha good luck if you end up doing that~

    Ooohhh sometimes i have ideas I want to explore and put that in draft
    but those usually get forgotten lol
    and the feeling is lost
    so i like poeming on the moment more~ also means I get inconsistent in terms of frequency
    when the inspiration hits, it hits hard after all~, then just exploring the words i like more or the message i want to show more~
    hahahaha i'll look forward to them! I always like it if and when more people poem here ^^
     
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  15. Pyoo

    Pyoo <Shopabirdy> <The Melody of Summer>

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    VIVA UPDATES!

    (source, replies to Peony)
    Must the change be of heartache?
    You'll reminiscent of the old times
    A nostalgic feeling with soft smiles
    Since your change makes you grin
    As you tackle the world with gritted teeth
    And a laugh to fill the void
    - - -
    Sing your hope and dreams
    The bubbles doesn't come from outside
    Seek warmth and comfort within
    The success of breaking through
    Sparks the joy and laughter
    - - -
    A youngster looking for a laugh
    Cozy beds only luls to sleep
    Step outside and bask in the storm
    The greatest adventure happens there
    At the rough seas the sails are jolly
    - - -
    The forest sings of hopes
    Dreams it brings towards lost adventurers
    They may be lost forever in dreams
    Or get out with riches and tales of glory
    Better brave through with their swords in hand
    The forest sings of hopes
    And I'll sing for the future

    (source)
    Basking under the sun
    Breathing in the chill air
    Walking along the pavement
    Skipping my steps lightly
    Humming a random tune
    Ridding myself of thoughts
    Letting any chains go
    Enjoying the moment as it is
    Living life weightlessly
    Looking almost like flying
    Freeing myself to spend the days
    Smiling at each passing moment

    (source)
    She took up a pencil and puts it on the paper. Quiet, she kept her pencil still.
    A line, a circle, random scratches on her paper as she wonders what to create.
    She took off the pencil from the paper and left the "drawing" be.
    She came back with some water color. Picking her favourite colors she made her strokes
    Yellow petals over the circle, green to cover the line.
    Then she took off and left the "painting" be.
    Washing away her paint palette, she decided to use the crayons instead.
    Taking a brown one, she filled the circle. With a light and dark green color she colored over the green watercolor.
    Without fully coloring it in, she stopped. She pondered whether the watercolor would have been a better choice.
    She tried adding a few strokes to make it better. But she stopped in her tracks.
    She picked the paper up and looked at it. Before finally deciding that she's unsatisfied by it and left it behind.
    What she can't see, is her mismatch of colour and tools bloomed a unique and beautiful sunflower. One that inspires warmth in others.
    And none of her strokes were for naught

    (source)
    Wind gently blew
    Swaying the soft brown hair
    Sitting among the colors
    Enjoying the flowers
    A girl donning a white dress

    Wind tenderly flew
    Spreading the sweet floral scent
    Caring for each one
    Showering with love
    The lady tending the garden

    Wind quietly shew
    Taking your breath away
    A magnificent landscape
    A marvelous sight
    A flower brimming with beauty

    (source) (source)
    Slowly peek through the door
    Careful to open a little more
    The barrier from uncertain future
    The shelter where we were nurtured

    Through the gap, chilly winds blew in
    Harsh light as far as can be seen
    A scene welcoming dread
    A view making you afraid

    Taking a step back you look
    The memories which made you shook
    To the scene when your heart cracked
    To days when you feel like a wreck

    You hands tighten to a fist
    A clear direction without any mist
    Your watery eyes shines its light
    A step with all her might

    Dearly hoping for the best
    A little bird leaves its nest
    Without any life vest
    Looking for a little rest

    (source)
    Breathe underwater
    Floating weightlessly
    Where the current flows
    With the light shining through

    Black and white world
    Filled with silence
    Cold deadpan eyes
    Seek excitement

    (source, reply to Accidentally)
    A story of a little girl destined for more
    A story of an orphan boy taking up sword
    A story of kings, their fall and ruin
    Different worlds and different people

    (source)
    Emotions like a swirl of currents
    Crashing against your skin
    Pushing your body aside
    Drowning your soul in it
    Yet you let it stay
    You give yourself to it
    Volunteers to be consumed
    You enjoy your powerlessness
    Indulging in the waves of the ocean
    - - -
    Letting myself drown in an ocean so deep and heavy
    Letting myself be, accepting the tears as it flows without resistance
    Letting myself get carried by the currents and torrents of emotions
    I was indulgent
    - - -
    Drowning, I find myself somewhere I don't recognize.
    Drowning, I find myself someone I don't recognize.
    Drowning, I find myself someone I don't want to be.
    The river cares not who you are.
    It cares not where you hope to be.
    It cares not what you will be.
    But it's my life.
    And it'll be my regret.

    If I hope to soar like the bird I am, I must swim.
    And thus, I'll swim.

    (source, reply to BlancFrost on A Frost Flower)
    A weak smile
    A warm heart
    All it has hoped
    Has finally come

    Teeming with life
    Her barren land loved
    No longer alone
    A frost flower bloomed
    Beautifully as its last

    (source, reply to BlancFrost)
    Fleeing the frigid winds
    Fleeting glimpse of your shine
    Flying closer in admiration

    Seeing your petals of ice
    Sitting carefully beside
    Saying my weak hello
    - - -
    Peeking out to the white land
    The view the storm has sent
    Remnants of the storm gone past
    Who came and went just as fast

    The bird nuzzles the frost
    Who was there when she most
    Safely protecting her from harm
    An ice crystal who made her warm

    A fire bird found warmth in winter
    Without needing to go hither and thither
    The unlikeliest friendship grew
    From meetings so rare and few

    (source)
    Singing my song to the sun
    Whose shine is reminiscent of yours
    Singing my song to the stars
    Who tenderly watches over your nights
    Singing my song to the sea
    Who connects my voice to you
    Singing my song deep within
    Where you reside close to me

    (source)
    Each move makes a gait
    Each step leaves a mark
    Each walk shows yourself
    For others judgement

    (source)
    You make me sad
    Over and over again
    Geez
    I miss you!
    Hurry and come back

    You make me cry
    Over and over again
    Geez
    It's tiring!
    Yet I can never get tired

    You make me lose sleep
    over and over again
    Geez
    I'm tired!
    But I still want to talk

    You make me hot
    Over and over again
    Geez
    I'm feeling embarassed!
    You better feel the same

    You make me fuzzy
    Over and over again
    Geez
    You flirt!
    Kiss me more

    You make me warm
    Over and over again
    Geez
    I wanna hug you tight!
    Come and cuddle with me

    You make me safe
    Over and over again
    Geez
    I love you!
    Take responsibility!

    (source, made inspired by and in collaboration with Shad12ow)
    Holding a cup
    Meeting you
    Each with their own
    Each sharing theirs
    Every drip, a new story
    Every drop, a new experience
    And I'll continue meeting more
    And I'll continue sharing mine
    Drops from my own life
    Drips from others life
    For their learnings
    For their sharings
    - - -
    You gave me inspiration
    Each meeting a different story
    Here and there, him and her
    I hold my cup forward
    Receiving parts of you
    Your thought and experience
    From here on I'll still hold my cup
    And I'll share it
    With everyone I meet
    And everyone I will meet
    Share the story
    Share the experience
    Share my meeting with you
    Maybe they can get something from it
    Maybe they can give it to someone else
    Maybe they can inspire others as well

    (source)
    Open your umbrella!
    Ready your bikini!
    It's summer time
    I want to play
    Let's have some fun
    And meet at the beach!

    (source)
    Let the sun shine on you
    And keep your days bright
    Let it envelope you
    And keep your body warm
    Let it send my love over
    And keep your heart snuggly

    (source)
    What a kid
    Wanting to join
    Yet only sulking
    Feeling lonely
    All on my own

    Such a kid
    Trying to follow
    Not undersanding
    Seeking attention
    All on my own

    I'm a kid
    Breaking into tears
    Just want pampering
    Hating to be
    All on my own
    - - -
    I'm a kid
    Breaking into tears
    Look at me, spoil me
    I don't want to be
    All on my own
    - - -
    Oh a little naive
    Oh a little trusting
    Full of hope
    Full of joy
    Protect them
    Shelter them
    Don't let them see
    Don't let them know
    The world we live in
     
  16. episod3ux

    episod3ux Azuka's Sole Nii♐Azu's Saint♒Azuka's♐(\_/)Pillow

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    ....i feel like eating bird tonight.
     
  17. Pyoo

    Pyoo <Shopabirdy> <The Melody of Summer>

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    eh why?
     
  18. episod3ux

    episod3ux Azuka's Sole Nii♐Azu's Saint♒Azuka's♐(\_/)Pillow

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    All of those nicknames in that poem
     
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  19. Pyoo

    Pyoo <Shopabirdy> <The Melody of Summer>

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    Easily the cutest thing I've ever posted here. It makes me all warm and fuzzy to see you guys come and participate >w<
    There was only 3 poets or something when I first started poeming on NUF, @Risus @Autumn Wind @Pyoo
    Now when I call upon 'poets' so many showed up >w<

    Tagging the writers @Accidentally @Land Of Tea @Mindless-Genius @Bielt @Trent @Yurika @Zone Q11 @Osamaru @Fabulist Ed @hatoyin97 @Aster Anemone
     
  20. Bielt

    Bielt 『Planets Eater』『The Sin of Animosity』

    Joined:
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    Hehehe~
    We all come to the call of the cutest bird~
    Who sings stories and rhymes~
    As she is a important presence on our lives~
    On our stories and songs~

    *Glomp*
    I am glad you are happy~♥
     
    Pyoo likes this.