This is an idea I've had kicking around in my head for a while that I just wanted to get written down. This is going to be rough-draft, unedited format since I'll just be writing it as I think of it, but I'll make sure it at least has proper spelling and grammar. It's just something I'm going to do for fun to rest my muse between bouts of working on a novel I actually intend to sell. But I'm going to put as much heart and soul into it as I do my more serious works, so don't underestimate it! Title: Platinum Queens Genre: Other-world Game Fantasy Synopsis: Rosa wants just one thing out of life; platinum. No, not the metal, we're talking achievements. No matter the genre, no matter the platform, as long as a game has trophies Rosa masters it. She considers a day wasted if she can't go to sleep knowing she has one more plat under her belt. So, when a strange e-mail asks her if she's '100% serious about 100%?' she answers honestly that she's a complete completionist. 'Good,' a little goddess tells her, 'then you're a perfect fit for my world.' Now Rosa is in her version of paradise; a fantasy world where achievements and trophies are woven into the very fabric of reality. With a book of challenges in one hand and a spear in the other, Rosa is ready to take on everything this new world can throw at her. She'll claw her way to the top, face every challenge, unravel every secret. She won't rest until she's the very first to taste sweet victory when the, Ultimate Trophy, the Omega Platinum is hers at last. Wait, is one of the challenges really 'Get Married'? 'Have a child with your spouse?' This might be a bit more complicated than she thought... Chapters Chapter 1 = Post 11
Love this Not this though. Don't like the idea of a goal/task being to have a child. children in real life and stories, should come naturally. And if you'd try to show 'love' it would feel too forced for me to enjoy that aspect/subplot of the story. You're shackling the champ; don't shackle the champ. 8/10 Would read.
this novel seems like it would be dragged out beyond measure. you have to consider the amount of achievements and what the achievements are which can severely drain your creativity. Also, the ending would be strange because the story is literally just complete achievements, how would it end? and this novel seems it might be a slice of life from the last few lines of text. you're going to want to create good characters too. if the MC wants to complete achievements, is she really just going to marry a guy and have kids with him? the achievements will probably create a lot of 1 dimensional characters. the main problem to me is the achievements. it's kind of like one punch man where the only purpose of the story is for the main character, saitama to find a powerful opponent. it seems like the same story to me, the main character, <name> wants to complete all the achievements in the world. this also seems to be a problem for world building.. does everybody else in the world want to complete achievements? and why even care? if achievements and trophies is what makes the world go around, why bring her in the first place? you might have to explain the goddess' reasoning as to why she brought her in the world. i feel like "because my world is your dreamworld" would be incredibly bland, almost as bland as hero summoning novels. good luck.
i agree with this. i think this would off the romance if the character either only wants to get married and have kids for the achievement, or if she goes off course and sets achievements to the side.
Though I wouldn't mind if she showed up in that world 5 months til and married. It just comes down to the execution
Stop right there. Rosa? Really my nigger? Change your character name and I'll read it. You sound like those Japanese naming every western maids Maria. And give the standard for Maria a big boobs and booties. Basically MILF.
lol, i don't really care about the naming but it kind of sounds weird. its like Linley in coiling dragon lol
Chapter 1 - Otherworld Summon Get! Hi! Call me Rosa. I actually go by WMRosa on most forums (it's a reference to my favorite retro game) and GameFAQs. You may even know me from Plat Cats, if you're into the cheevo-hunting scene. Normally I'd be bringing you a 100% Trophy Plat Guide for the latest game, but this time I've got something a little different for everyone. First things first; I'm a platinum queen. It's all I think about, day and night. For the noobs out there, 'platinum' is (generally) the highest level of trophy/achievement you can earn in most modern games. It's a sign that you beat that game inside and out, that you climbed every mountain, forded every stream, follow every rainbow until you find your dream kind of thing. Basically, you experienced everything that game had to offer, you saw the entirety of the makers' vision. To me, you can't even say you've experienced a game until you've got the Platinum Trophy. Well, today I'm going to tell you a story about the biggest trophy, the biggest platinum out there. It's called the Ultimate Trophy - Omega Platinum. It's not from any game, and doesn't even exist on the Earth that we all know. Interested? Well hold on because you're in for a ride. It all started with an e-mail. I don't usually open e-mails from folks I don't know, but this one had this written in the subject: TO THE GREATEST PLATINUM HUNTER - A NEW CHALLENGE. I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I like to consider myself one of the greatest trophy hunters I know. Okay, maybe that's a little prideful. Anyway I opened the e-mail. It just had one question: "Are you 100% serious about 100%?" Below that there were two buttons marked 'YES' and 'NO'. At first glance I thought it was just a spam message, since it didn't make much sense. But then I actually thought about what it was asking me. How serious am I about getting 100% completion in my games? Would I say I'm 100% serious about it? Absolutely, I am a complete completionist. I clicked the YES without any further hesitation. "Well then you'll be perfect for my world," said a child's voice from behind me. I wasn't in my room anymore. My butt was still parked in my cushy rolling computer chair, but my computer was gone. As were the walls, the floor, the ceiling... You get the picture. My chair was (floating?) in an empty white space. I swiveled it around to look for who had spoken. There was a kid standing behind me. She was dressed in a very simple white one-piece dress and had white hair hanging all the way down her back. Her face was soft and she wore a big, friendly smile, though I saw something strangely mischievous in her eyes. "Welcome, challenger," she said, her voice reminded me of the tinkling of a small bell, clear and high. "Thank you for responding to my message." "Am I dead?" That was my first question. I mean, you can see where I'm coming from, right? I figured I must have had a heart attack or something. "Oh, no no no," the girl said, quickly shaking her hand and even waving her arms to dismiss the idea. "No I just summoned you here to my world. Is that okay?" Was it okay? loliono kid you tell me. "I don't know, I guess that depends on what kind of world we're talking about here," I said, taking a look around. Of course, I couldn't actually see this 'world' of hers, since we were just in that blank space, but I've watched my share of anime, I know what happens when gamers get summoned somewhere. Call me crazy, but I had this secret thrilling hope that I was getting caught up in one of those 'gamer sent to a game world' things. Could I make a request? FF4 world, please. Cecil is my bishi. "It's a world for challengers like you. People who won't rest until they've seen it all, done it all. Some of the people I gather are like you; those who seek trophies in the games they play. Some are adventurers from other worlds who are looking for the greatest quest of their lives. Some simply have the right personality. I have created a world just for you; a world full of dangers and tests." Her eyes shone with passion. It was clear, hearing her talk, that she also had this 'personality' that she was talking about. I sensed a kindred spirit. She gestured with one hand and a thick book bound in black leather appeared in the air in front of me. "This is the book of my world, the Book of Challenges. In it you will find every quest and test I have prepared for you. By completing all of them, you will be awarded the Ultimate Trophy - Omega Platinum," she said, with gravity in her tone. I reverently took the book and began to flip through it. The instant I saw the contents, I felt at home. 'Climb to the top of Mt. Fangspike' 'Defeat a Galleytrot' 'Obtain your own housing' All of the entries were generic things; stuff that multiple people could do. I guess in a world where everyone is trying to get the same trophies it would be unfair to have challenges to kill something there was only one of. But just reading the words made my blood start pumping. I wanted to get out there and start checking some boxes right away. A few of them made me pause, though: 'Experience death' "Woah, I'm supposed to die for one of these? How does that work?" I asked. The girl flashed her teeth in a impish grin. "Don't worry, it hurts but it's not the end. When you die you just pop back up at the nearest church and your equipment will be roughed up." Cool. I guess. I'm not emo or anything so I've never thought death would be something I wanted to try out, but as long as it wasn't permanent I guess I'd just get it done for the cheevo. Then my eyes went wide. "Woah woah woah hold up 'Get Married'? And what's this one below it: 'Have a child with your spouse'?" Her impish grin got bigger, but she didn't respond. She didn't even blush! I was there with scarlet cheeks trying to think of what kind of questions I could ask a kid like her about... well, that kind of stuff. Then a thought struck me. "Do I have to marry a guy?" I asked. She shook her head. "No, feel free to just marry anyone," she said, in a way that made it pretty clear she didn't actually think much of the whole marriage thing. She probably just thought it was fun forcing people to pair up. But, that caused an even bigger problem. "But, wait, what about having a kid?" I asked, wondering if a kid her age even knew how that all worked. "Just go to the Stork Station with whoever you marry and ask them and they'll give you a kid," she explained, and I let out a relieved sigh. Thank goodness. It was just some kiddy version, like something out of a game. She continued: "And it won't be a baby, that wouldn't work. Your kid will just be another player who's younger than you and the person you married." Huh. Suddenly the two challenges that had made me the most nervous were sounding pretty good, actually. I had pictures in my head of partnering up with another trophy hunter who would have my back through my adventures, and we could get ourselves a little Rydia and have her nuke stuff with magic from behind us while we... wait, magic? "Oh, hey, what kind of... um... system does this place have? I mean do I get like pick skills or..." I asked, not really sure how to put it. The girl just nodded and explained: "Everyone in the world has fairly equal stats, and you can do anything you have the right tools for, including fighting. You won't get any 'experience' or 'levels'. Everything in this world is about what kind of equipment you can get and how talented you become at controlling what you have, be it magic, tools or weapons. You will find that combat in this world has its own rhythm and rhyme. Your ability to understand and master it will determine how 'strong' you are in this world. Everyone has an equal chance to succeed and excel." So, less FF and more MonHun or one of the Souls. That actually sounded pretty awesome. Everyone started from the same part and worked their way up in the same way. "When you first awaken, you will find yourself in a tutorial dungeon. It will help you understand the basics of the rhythm of battle and it will also provide you with your starting equipment," she said. Okay, it was all starting to come together in my head. Honestly, at that point I just wanted to get started. All thoughts of the life I had before flew out of my head, I was already looking forward to the new sights, new fights, new- "One more thing," she added, and it seemed to me like she was hesitating, like she wasn't sure if she should say anything or not. I raised an eyebrow and waited, and she continued: "If you obtain the Omega Platinum, you will become a Goddess, like me. That is the reward for completion of all the challenges this world has to offer. You will be given the power to move on and create your own world, where you alone will rule. Like me, you can craft your own new challenge, and bring souls in to attempt it. Sounds nice, doesn't it?" I was thunderstruck. If I achieved everything in the book I was holding, I would become a Goddess? I was, frankly, speechless. I just nodded without a word. "Good. Then, please don't lose sight of your goal," she said, and there was something vaguely threatening, and something vaguely sad in her voice. There was something there, and I couldn't let it go. "What do you mean by that?" I asked. "You said you were 100% serious about 100%," she said. "That's all I want from you. That's all I want from everyone in my world. But, you are not the first or even the hundredth challenger I've brought here and... Well, like them, you will be tempted." She was being careful, choosing her words. I was lost. "I don't understand," I said. "It's okay, just please don't lose sight of your goal. No one else I have summoned has managed to clear 100% of the challenges yet. Make sure you are the first. That's your goal, right? First to reach the top, to clear it all." I shrugged and nodded. I didn't understand what she was getting at, talking about temptation. What could be more tempting than the greatest trophy of all time and the chance to become a Goddess? She seemed satisfied with my response, and the smile returned to her face. "Very well then. I will begin the transfer process. Good luck, Rosa," she said. Then, with a slight falter to her smile, she added: "Please don't go astray." With that my vision was filled with white light, and then faded to black.