[Poll] How Easily Do You Make Friends?

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by lychee, Sep 17, 2019.

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At the end of the four week period, what is the likelihood you will be friends with your roommate?

  1. 100%! I could be friends with everyone in the world!

    2 vote(s)
    3.6%
  2. 99.9%

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  3. 99%

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  4. 95%

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  5. 90% I could be friends with 9/10 people in the world

    3 vote(s)
    5.5%
  6. 80%

    3 vote(s)
    5.5%
  7. 70%

    2 vote(s)
    3.6%
  8. 60%

    5 vote(s)
    9.1%
  9. 50% I could be friends with half the people in the world

    6 vote(s)
    10.9%
  10. 40%

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  11. 30%

    2 vote(s)
    3.6%
  12. 20%

    1 vote(s)
    1.8%
  13. 10% I could be friends with 1/10 people in the world

    4 vote(s)
    7.3%
  14. 5%

    5 vote(s)
    9.1%
  15. 1%

    4 vote(s)
    7.3%
  16. 0.1%

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  17. 0.01%

    1 vote(s)
    1.8%
  18. Less than 0.01%

    2 vote(s)
    3.6%
  19. 0% Making friends is impossible for me in this situation

    1 vote(s)
    1.8%
  20. 0% It’s impossible for me to make friends with anybody

    1 vote(s)
    1.8%
  21. I wouldn’t be able to last four weeks

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  22. I wouldn’t agree to go to the island

    5 vote(s)
    9.1%
  23. I’m not interested in making friends to begin with

    3 vote(s)
    5.5%
  24. I do not wish to answer

    5 vote(s)
    9.1%
  1. lychee

    lychee [- slightly morbid fruit -] ❀[ 恋爱? ]❀

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    I dunnooo, are you hiring by any chance~? :blobReach::blobReach::blobReach:

    Even villains can have days when they are nice! Doesn't mean they aren't super evil and bad on their day job!! :blobcat_knife::blobcat_knife::blobcat_knife:

    Yeah, I think this distinction between a casual friend and close friend is pretty nice!

    I like to think that I can get along with most people well casually speaking, but we've talked about before that I'm really bad at staying in touch with friends after we're no longer in the same location!

    As for my own answer to the poll.........

    I think some of it depends heavily on my mood and how hard I'm willing to try to make friends, because honestly it can vary from the day to even month. There are some periods of time that I'm just in a super introverted mood...

    That said, frankly I often believe there are many people who could potentially be good friends if I was willing to put in the effort more. I think this is true of NUF too! Maybe in another lifetime, if I decided to talk to someone else more, maybe I'd end up with a totally different friend circle and be close to different people.

    Actually, to some extent I've already proven this for myself -- in the sense that my clones developed different friend circles sometimes.

    But even still, I think it's fascinating to think there are all these people around you that could potentially be a good friend.

    It's just that we don't always put out the effort.

    For instance...

    :blob_teary::blob_teary::blob_teary: This just makes me so sad!

    Hey hey! Did you know that I think you're really interesting?? I kind of have a good feeling about you and I'm kind of curious! :blobpeek::blobpeek:

    By any chance would you consent to me trying to get to know you a little bit better?

    I promise it wouldn't be filled with too much stabbing, although I am a little curious about what's inside your brain!! :blobspearpeek:
     
  2. AliceShiki

    AliceShiki 『Ms. Tree』『Ophi-kun's Survival Teacher』

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    Oh, that's true, I remember back when I played around with clones a bit and got close to some people that I really had never gotten close to with this acc... Rather, some of the people I got close to plain annoyed me when I talked to them normally, but... Somehow it was fine through a clone's lens.

    It's quite mysterious, but I overall agree~


    I'm now remembering back in my last year of HS, it was like... Mid-December or something, all schools were already on vacation, but ours gave optional classes to anyone that still wanted to study for uni entrance exams, and I was there.

    I remember talking a bit to a colleague in the bus going back home a bit at around this time... And he was one of the "annoying people" of the class, the type I avoided like plague... Well, just taking some time to talk to him in the bus made me realize he was quite fun to be around, I just didn't like the stuff he and his circle of friends did in class, but I wouldn't mind being friends with him.

    But that was like... 1 week before Christmas or something, so we only met one or two more times before the optional classes ended (technically, they still offered more classes in early January, but I didn't attend those) and that was the last I ever heard of him. Had we gotten closer a bit earlier in the year, we might have actually become good friends.

    It's surprising how much your view on someone can change just by letting yourself know them a bit better~
     
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  3. lychee

    lychee [- slightly morbid fruit -] ❀[ 恋爱? ]❀

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    Right! Also I have this hypothesis that for introverts, there is a "maximum number of friends" they can manage at once.

    After an introvert reaches their limit in social interaction, they're saturated in their social interactions and not interested in looking for more.

    Consequently, people who are satisfied with their existing friends wouldn't spend as much time looking for more -- or at the very least, they're less open-minded to the idea of it.

    I think this was the case when I just started uni (and graduate school) -- most people made their friends within the first two weeks, and after that it was really hard to break into different friend circles.
     
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  4. AliceShiki

    AliceShiki 『Ms. Tree』『Ophi-kun's Survival Teacher』

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    Mmmmmmmmm, for me it was kinda different during my introvert days... It was more that I didn't know how to approach people and make friends than anything, it was one of those things that just kinda happened with time.

    What ended up happening was that I made roughly 1 friend per year throughout most of my school life, but rather than a feeling of not needing to spend much time looking for more, it was more of a feeling that I didn't even know how to look for more anyways, so I never bothered with trying.
     
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  5. lychee

    lychee [- slightly morbid fruit -] ❀[ 恋爱? ]❀

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    Haha, I guess we are different! :blobxd: I often feel like I have my hands full with too many friends.

    Actually lately since I've been spending so much more time on NUF, I've been ignoring the omegle friend I talked about on that last blog... :sweating_profusely::sweating_profusely::sweating_profusely: Or at least I've only been messaging them maybe once every 3-4 hours instead every 10-20 minutes...
     
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  6. AliceShiki

    AliceShiki 『Ms. Tree』『Ophi-kun's Survival Teacher』

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    Yeah, I never felt like I had too many friends! xD

    Though astonish me a bit when I realized my group of friends that entered uni together with me and usually did stuff together had like... 14 people. I was like... "I'm used to making 1 friend/year, and now I made 13 in a few months!? >.<" But I didn't dislike it... They weren't very close friends though, and we more or less drifted apart after a year or two and I stayed closer with 4 or so of them... And eventually I stopped talking to them all once I left uni... >.>

    Still, I considered them my friends and it never bothered me too much to have many people close by~

    Though well, I kinda got over my introvertness once I got into uni and especially once I got on NUF, I'm quite extroverted nowadays, so... Maybe I was more introverted when I was younger because I didn't know how to get close to people, as opposed to not wanting to get close to too many people! >.<
     
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  7. lychee

    lychee [- slightly morbid fruit -] ❀[ 恋爱? ]❀

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    I don't know if this is really bad, but actually sometimes I struggle with coming up with exactly what a friend is to me.

    I think in my brain there are people I like... practically speaking they are my friends if they like me back.

    And then there are people I want to know more about... for instance some time ago I really wanted to know more about @DCLXVI nee-sama and was really really really curious to the point that I made @villain to interact with her from a different angle. It's common for me to pry, ask questions, and borderline stalk these kinds of people. (note: yes I know! I'm evil! :sweating_profusely::sweating_profusely::sweating_profusely:)

    And then there are people I like spending time with... and this is primary interest driven. For instance, I think these polls are really good examples, and I've had really good conversations with some people. Also there's the entire community games section of NUF. However, for me I think this can shift a lot because my interests can vary wildly from month to month.

    Also there are people that I admire... although right now it's hard to come up with a lot of examples, maybe @Moonpearl!

    And lastly there are people I'm in love with... and want to be next to them all the time... which right now is only Haru, but occasionally there can be bouts of passion here or there.

    But despite all of these concrete feelings...

    ...I feel like it can be difficult for me to boil this down into what exactly is a "friend"...

    At least in the sense that I seem to have a huge difficulty in maintaining friendships over the years. It feels like for me, I almost inevitably always grow apart to the point that I've never had a friend survive past one of us moving to a different location. Once we are in the different location, it feels like most of what used to be there evaporates somehow.

    I feel like with time sometimes I can develop anxiety about my old friends too... almost like fear that our relationship wouldn't be the same since inevitably we all change, and maybe they wouldn't like the newer version of me. I think this is especially the case online because sometimes I pick up different personas on different websites, and maybe on the last website I was a "prickly frog-loving cactus who is a little too enthusiastic" but on this site I'm a "morbid asian fruit who's sometimes tea" and on a different site I'm a "optimistic easter bunny who wants to overflow the world with love!" -- I'm mean thinking objectively the roles can be wildly different!

    The personas can sometimes feel like a barrier to maintaining friendships between the different settings, particularly in the sense that online, we all get to know each other through our personas first.
     
  8. Momoyuki

    Momoyuki Snow bunny「Hibernating」

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    Humm...
    I cannot say much for online friends since I don’t have a lot of experience. But I can spend months without texting my best friend in the far side of the world and still take a picture of a random thing on the street that reminds me of her and send it immediately.
    And then we’ll ask each other random daily things like what did you have for breakfast and so... our personal thing right now is me spamming her pictures of K-POP idols every once in a while. Before that it was print screens of Otome games. And there’s the time she adopted a doggie and I got tons of pics. I have a group rant thing with my closest friends in college just to rant about random stuff like how their pets ruined theirs plants when they were away. It’s been 15 years since we met each other for the first time and almost 4 years since I hugged any of them (I really miss them) but we still try to keep each other in the same wavelength? I guess that’s what I consider friendship...to connect with people who reciprocate the same feelings?
     
  9. lychee

    lychee [- slightly morbid fruit -] ❀[ 恋爱? ]❀

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    Mhm... Thanks for your insight! It's really helpful! :bloblove:

    I wonder if this is what I'm struggling with.

    Maybe it's that I don't connect with people very well?

    Or maybe that I'm usually relatively personal and don't talk a lot about what I do on an everyday basis. I mean, Haru likes to, but actually I tend to forget about the small things of what happened to me during the day. :notlikeblob::notlikeblob::notlikeblob:

    Uhh... like if I think carefully... today my coworker showed me how to use a machine I've never used before! Also I went to the supermarket to buy dried mangos because I was craving them and wanted to eat only fruit-related things for dinner since I'm trying to lose weight. Oh and this morning I woke up with a strange dream.

    ....I wonder if this means if I'm boring? If I can't think about very much small things to talk about?
     
  10. AliceShiki

    AliceShiki 『Ms. Tree』『Ophi-kun's Survival Teacher』

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    I don't think there is much need to define friendship? I mean... I just think of some people as friends and I'm good with that~

    It's tough maintaining relationships as you move though... I feel like having a group of whats app or something to keep communicating helps keep the relationship alive though, it's a lot easier to maintain the connection when we talk daily after all. Even if we're quite far apart.

    As for the personas... I dunno, I feel like I'm quite good at finding out your clones when you make them, so I think I already saw past them to some extent, at the end of the day I care a lot more for you than your persona, so... I dunno, I just never tried thinking too much about friends, for me a friend is a friend! >.<
    That's not being boring, that's being bad at small talk at worst! xD

    You're still very fun to be around, I can assure you this much~
     
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  11. Traveling Chef

    Traveling Chef ⁽ʕ•̀ω•́ʔ╯.+:。Professional Unichef~

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    haha~ all joking(I hope:sweating_profusely:) knife stabbing aside, while I normally wouldn't mind, this name of mine, "Traveling Chef" was created to distance myself from...myself. it was created in a way that was far removed from my other myriad usernames and as such, I wish to keep them separated sorry~ I give out small details about myself here and there but for the most part nothing specific enough to track me to me, yanno? for instance, I don't know how "Traveling Chef the Unicorn" comes off here on NUF, but I assure you it's nothing like what I am irl~~

    and it's not like I have no friends irl, just only enough to fit on one hand and me and my friend circle like it that way~
     
    Last edited: Sep 18, 2019
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  12. Momoyuki

    Momoyuki Snow bunny「Hibernating」

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    I don't think it's boring! I find it very amusing and fun! Or maybe I'm just weird... but I can forget about telling "big" stuff like getting a job promotion and text my friends just to inform I managed to fold all my t-shirts KonMari style and how they fit wonderfully in my drawer, sending a picture of it, feeling super proud of myself.

    Well... most of the time my whole family is like that too. I found out my brother got accepted in a post-doc program through a cousin but he would send me pictures of the chicken curry he made for dinner. And my father sends me pictures of trimmed plants or blooming orchids back home because that's what we used to do together. He just...sends them...without text. But they still make me happy when I remember they are thinking about me while they go on with their lives.
     
  13. Xigua

    Xigua Unknown member

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    Meanwhile, my dog is scared of her own farts and has to be cuddled before she calms down. Sometimes it's the little things that make life worth it~ (*´꒳`*)
     
  14. Anon Ymous

    Anon Ymous Well-Known Member

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    the answer is quite easy to figure for most people on NUF,
    we all lost that game along with the memory, our dissappearrance went unoticed by ourself and our family
     
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  15. Cascadian Rex

    Cascadian Rex Well-Known Clone

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    I am a duplicitous piece of ne'er do well!

    where is the option "I am 100% confident I can pretend to be someone's friend for at least 4 weeks."

    I think this happens a lot when I am working... it's easier to get shit done when you are on good terms with co workers... I think the longest contract I had, where I had to stay on friendly terms with a freelancer was... 8 months?~ish
    it was a bit trying by the end coz I really didnt like the way he viewed the world...
    in the end, either he was also pretending or we left the relationship acting like bffs.
     
  16. Clozdark

    Clozdark "Kuma chan \(≧◡≦)/ "「airhead」「nonsense speaker]

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    They just become somebody i used to know
     
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  17. lychee

    lychee [- slightly morbid fruit -] ❀[ 恋爱? ]❀

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    I'm okay with this and would respect it! I'm also a very deeply personal person, and I hold a lot of things to myself privately. It would be really rude of me to invade all past that!

    In a sense, I'm also interested in getting to know you as a person -- whether "nothing like IRL at all" or not doesn't matter as much to me -- in my view the heart of a person is very much the same no matter what kind of skin they where! So even talking about nothing (and silly things!) has a lot of meaning to me!

    On the other hand, if don't like the idea of me trying to approach you virtually, I'll definitely stop and give you your space. >.< I don't know if I'm an idiot but in your last response I couldn't tell if you were ultimately okay with me or not okay with me approaching the wild unicorn... :blobpeek::blobpeek::blobpeek:
     
  18. Traveling Chef

    Traveling Chef ⁽ʕ•̀ω•́ʔ╯.+:。Professional Unichef~

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    approach all you like, just because a question is put forth doesn't mean an answer will show itself~~:cookie:
     
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  19. AliceShiki

    AliceShiki 『Ms. Tree』『Ophi-kun's Survival Teacher』

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    Oh, that makes plenty of sense, it's easier to work when the interpersonal relationships don't stress you and the coworkers are collaborating~

    I don't think I have ever been in the situation that I feel like I need to pretend to be friendly to someone myself... >.>
     
  20. iampsyx

    iampsyx 『 Slowly, steadily — one step at a time 』

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    50% chance I'd be friends with my roomie at the end of a month. For someone who keeps to herself 95% of the time, I often find myself being quite chatty in a one-on-one setting. :blobrofl: It would also be somewhat uncomfortable to live with someone I can't at least get along with, so barring some circumstances, I would definitely make an effort to get to know them better. A friend is...hmm...someone I like or someone who has more characteristics I like than dislike.

    One factor that would make it difficult to be friends with someone would be if they dislike me, and it would be an instant no if they've actively tried to harm me or the few people I'm protective of.