[Poll] Would you get married to an Internet friend in virtual reality?

In a faraway distant future, virtual reality technology has advanced to the point that it is indistinguishable from reality. Everything is hyper-realistic, and sometimes you forget whether you are in the real world or online world.

There is a parallel Earth that exists on virtual reality, and many people go to work/school entirely in virtual reality. There are also games, VRMMORGs, and pretty much anything that you can imagine. Nearly everyone in the world owns a VR console, and they are as ubiquitous as cellular phones.

Virtual reality is similar to the Internet. People have usernames, use avatars, and they are generally careful to protect their personal information.

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You are 31 years old and you work as a shopkeeper for an independent small business in real life. Virtual reality is your main hobby outside of work, and you've been online ever since you were a teenager. It is common for you to spend 5+ hours online every day.

Most of your friends are online friends, and you have known lots of them for many years.

You are single and your love life (IRL) hasn't been great.

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You have one online friend "Fran" who is more "special" than all the others.

Fran is your best friend and you've known them for over a decade. You talk to each other every day and you are extremely close with each other. Your chemistry is extremely good, and occasionally you even flirt (jokingly) with each other. Fran's gender matches your sexual orientation, but the flirting is almost never serious because Fran is usually in a relationship with someone else. Fran is more popular than you and has better social skills than you do. Nonetheless, Fran always makes time for you and they spend a heck of a lot of their free time with you.

Recently, Fran has been having extremely bad luck with their relationships. For the past 3-4 years, all of their relationships have ended horribly or been short-lived. They recently had a bad breakup that traumatized them heavily around five months ago.

One day you were hanging out with Fran, when they suddenly dropped a bombshell:

"Hey, do you want to get married?"

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So one thing about Fran is that they are a deeply private person.

Despite the fact that you have been best friends with them for over a decade, they are extremely cautious about their personal information. You don't know their real name and you've never seen what they look like IRL. The only things that you know are: (A) their birthday and approximate age, (B) their job, (C) the country they live in, (D) their family situation, and (E) all kinds of non-identifying personal details related to their personal life.

Before, you've mentioned the idea of getting to know each other's "real" selves a little better, or potentially even meeting up in real life, but this was declined by Fran.

Fran has told you before that they believe that virtual reality and IRL should remain separate, and they didn't want to hear any of your personal information when you offered to share some of your own.

That said... you are mutually each other's best friends... There just happens to be a little bit of typical Internet anonymity floating over your close friendship, but you are used to this because this is the way it has always been... for over ten years!

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During this conversation, Fran talked about a lot of things.

Fran confesses that despite the fact that they're often in a relationship with someone else, they have very poor self-esteem. The one they actually like is you, but they've always felt like they weren't good enough for you. They didn't want to ruin their friendship with you by tainting it with something impure, and actually you are one of the most important people in the world to them. They have had feelings for you for many years, but they've been trying to distract those feelings for you by dating other people. Furthermore, they always saw you as a kind of "impossible relationship".

Fran also talks a little about their age (similar to yours: ~31 years old). They are beginning to feel like conventional love (IRL) is impossible for them, and they're getting disheartened by the fact that none of their relationships have lasted longer than a year (even though Fran has been in a lot of relationships). However, they think that if it's you — it will definitely work out.

Fran also jokes that people get married for much stupider reasons on VRMMORPGs — for instance, game bonuses — but Fran tells you they are genuinly serious about their feelings.

They seriously wish to get married with you.

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You ask Fran about their philosophy: "Virtual reality and IRL should remain separate"?

Fran responds that this is different. Fran's feelings for you are absolute, and even if a virtual reality marriage might not have any legal meaning IRL, Fran believes that a marriage is a marriage. Their feelings for you are real, and Fran intends to treat this as seriously as an IRL marriage. They also intend to remain monogamous to you, and they want to spend every day with you.

You also ask Fran about their resistance towards sharing personal information (e.g. IRL photos, names).

...However this causes Fran to pause, and they look very conflicted.

Fran ends up responding that they need to think about it.

Fran explains that they've known you for 10+ years as your virtual reality avatar (they've gotten used to seeing you that way), they're familiar with your online name, and they're attracted to your avatar's appearance. Fran confesses that they think it would feel weird to have all of that change suddenly.

Fran also reiterates that their self-esteem is very poor. Fran straight out tells you that they're genuinely afraid you'll think they are ugly if you see the "real" them — and they're terrified of the idea that your long 10+ year friendship/quasi-romance with each other could possibly disintegrate if you're dissatisfied with each other's IRL appearances.

They ask for the entirety of your marriage with them to exist only online.

Given current highly realistic virtual reality technology, there is no problem with this in theory. You can get a virtual house together, have virtual sex, and be a virtual couple in every way — and it would feel no different from being a couple real life. Furthermore, an IRL marriage probably isn't that realistic anyways since you live in totally different countries.

Fran says they will share their personal information with you if you absolutely insist on it...... but it would make them feel very uncomfortable if you demanded it... and they really hope that you understand where they are coming from.

It is mainly their preference to keep everything digital.

Note: Assume that you think Fran's virtual reality avatar is attractive.

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1. What are your thoughts on a marriage that is completely digital? Could you live with this?

2. What would your response to Fran be? Do you have any concerns?

3. Do you need to know everything about a person to get married to them? Or would you be comfortable with not knowing some things (e.g. their past, a deep trauma)?

4. If virtual reality was equally as realistic as the real world, do you think you would spend more time online or offline? Would you treat your online friends differently from offline ones? Would you ever date online?

 

Might as well marry my PC and smartphone. They'd be more fun and I'd hv a harem.

 

How do you have so much time for all this polls really?Are you a rich young master or an A.I developed by NSA or something?

 

Too much uncertainty in this situation... How would I know if Fran isn't a long time scammer that'll sue me for my virtual goods after virtual marriage and eventual divorce? What about our virtual little children? Our virtual dog? The virtual nights we shared together or the virtual hugs we gave each other? I would say thanks but no thanks to Fran.

 

I'm always sleep deprived

lol

 

No, because i dont believe online marriage. There's a lot pc game feature something like that when im still on school and my friend was basically one of the scam victim.

My best friend are one of them, he got marriage thing in seal online with a real girl in same city which she said she's single and want to serious with him, basically turn into LDR too. He was spend much money, as show how much he like her (welp its before adultery) and bought anything for her in that game (even scamming his parent smh). Then he got 'hot wind' about the girl from someone which assumed to be the girl 'irl bf' and turn out to be true when they meet at rl. My friend was mad and frustated but he cant do anything about it. The girl itself said she doesnt feel even bit remorse what she does when they meet.

Talk about getting cheated lol.

 

I got married in Skyrim if that counts... XD

But no personally, but I have seen people getting married in Runescape, Mabinogi, and Aura Kingdom.

 

When I read it first time, I thought she was a yandere proposing me with that red text...almost give me goosebumps

*Tho, I have weird yandere-fetish recently

 

We can chat and ‘roleplay’, but there’s no way for me to do baby-making ritual or any intimate action. But maybe someday I’ll grow curious and try it out.

 

wall of text

 

nah, you can get a virtual baby... like SAO things

 

The story is too confusing for me is it just me that confuse? What i understand i didn't know Fran in real life AT ALL right? Never met him before...only know his relationship got bad recently and trying to get marry with me in virtual reality? So... My first answer is i can get marry to him in virtual reality but it will be nothing serious huh then i realise that there's no different than usual hmmm thus my 2nd answer is i would reject marry him in virtual unless i can met him in IRL
Idk man I personally hate complicated relationship
If it is just friends then stay friend if he wants to be with me i can be with him but he needs to man up
This situation make me want to ignore him in virtual and real life but the character you give doesn't seem to be a cold character like me

 

1 I can. I don't I think I need to have a realistic virtual reality for that. People just need a bit of right moral support to live happily. Welp, it's not as easy as it sound.
2 Yes. Her serf-esteem cannot be worse than mine. The only concern will be people around us may not approve.
3 I believe that everything should be shared. Also, while I believe we don't need to live together IRL, it's better that we meet at least once.
4 I don't think I need to answer this one

 

1. I think it wouldn't work. First of all, if something happen to any of us irl we can't inform each other or be there for each other. It's also questionable whether parents would agree to this kind of marriage.
2. I want the marriage to be irl, even if fran's appearance may not be to my likings. It's not like i am handsome either, my appearance would definitely disappoint her.
3. It's okay not to know everything, but do tell me things that might affect our lives.
4. I would spend time more offline i guess since i need to work? I wouldn't treat my online friends any different from offline ones but i wouldn't date them if we can't meet irl

 

*patpat*

 

1. What are your thoughts on a marriage that is completely digital? Could you live with this?
In this situation, sure. In a rl no VR situation? No.

2. What would your response to Fran be? Do you have any concerns?
Nah, I'm good. If they want to, and I trust/know them enough, sure.

3. Do you need to know everything about a person to get married to them? Or would you be comfortable with not knowing some things (e.g. their past, a deep trauma)?
It's best to know about theae things so you are in a position to help them overcome stuff that's holding them back. I think it's impossible to know everything about someone, but I certainly think you should spend 3 years or more getting to know them before starting a relationship.

4. If virtual reality was equally as realistic as the real world, do you think you would spend more time online or offline? Would you treat your online friends differently from offline ones? Would you ever date online?
Offline probably, you'd be able to do more risky things and be fine. And no, probably not? If I can physically see them, I'd probably treat my online life as real, just with less consequences and more fun. And maybe, if someone I was close to wanted to take that step with me.

 

1. What are your thoughts on a marriage that is completely digital? Could you live with this?
Ehhhhhh!? M-maybe it could work!? But I feel like I'll always have a nagging feeling in the back of my mind that this isn't real... I could probably accept it for a time but eventually we'd have to level up the relationship to a RL one. Yeah.

Ah, but in case Fran isn't actually real and is an AI or something, then 100% digital is a-ok (tho I have mixed feelings about them liking my Avatar's face lol). Not a likely possibility, but fun to think about.

2. What would your response to Fran be? Do you have any concerns?
If Fran is someone I care about that much, then I'd say yes! On the condition the relationship eventually makes its way into RL... It doesn't have to be immediately but like, if there's not enough mutual trust to open up about personal information then this relationship will only be a "dream." Like two strangers playing pretend. I understand appearances matter when trying to find a partner, but if you can't like me outside of my face then I don't think this relationship will survive in the first place.

In that case, what's wrong with keeping the relationship platonic? I can only think of a few perks that come with upgrading to a romantic relationship, and they aren't of extreme importance... Maybe I'm just weird tho lol

3. Do you need to know everything about a person to get married to them? Or would you be comfortable with not knowing some things (e.g. their past, a deep trauma)?
Well I've never considered marriage with anyone (never been in a relationship either) but I don't think I need to know everything, just enough. That, and we should have mutual trust, genuine respect and consideration for one another. I think that's the most important.

4. If virtual reality was equally as realistic as the real world, do you think you would spend more time online or offline? Would you treat your online friends differently from offline ones? Would you ever date online?
Online... but I think the anonymity of the internet is something I value a lot. It's because I can hide behind a screen, take time to think about what I say and face limited backlash that I can act the way I do. It's similar to how people can open up to complete strangers about something traumatic but won't say anything to close ones. In short, if Virtual Reality feels too life-like then I would find it hard to break out of my shell. Which moves into the next question, depending on how real everything feels I'd likely treat my online friends the same as my real life friends? Maybe a little more distance though, since they are more strangers than not.

I've yet to rouse my desire to date (relationships are too troublesome/tiring) so I probably wouldn't... But might be more open to dating online in VR because, again, anonymity. Rather than date a real person, I'd rather date a NPC tho!!

 

*patpat*