You're misunderstanding me here , let me give you an example, when little girls are selling girl scout cookies and they are really adamant about selling those cookies that they get really up in your space and keep insisting , you get turned off and just want to get them out of your face .Similar thing here, no matter the idea, or the validity of the idea, if the approach is a constant in your face approach, you inherently get turned off. So its not some stigma I'm referring to, but I'm referring to a concept of being pushed into discomfort. Anyway done deal.
I am a straight White male who would rather be poor! I am would imagine a gay guy might say a similar thing vs. having to be straight.
Since I won't even feel attracted to the opposite sex anymore I don't see why I should be born poor Homo any day. Might get discriminated, but the same applies to if I was poor.
Also from your poll I can assume that guys are even more insecure about being regarded homosexual as compared to girls. Why? Dude if you were poor would you even get a wife who looks anything more than a beggar? As for you, you won't even feel attracted to women, I am impressed, men consider women more valuable then money? For real? Irl? It's all lies. And it's 500+ years future we are talking about. There might even be no discrimination.
I find this in poor taste. Aren't u pretty much discriminating against poor guys? And what insecurity? Unless u can read minds, how exactly did u ascertain that not choosing homosexuality is due to insecurity? And being poor at birth doesn't translate to being poor all ur life. And neither does it mean u can't marry above your social status. Being a poor heterosexual doesn't just boil down to valuing women more than money. It's the fear of the unknown/change, of choosing to be what u may find unpalatable right now. Men do possess a complex psychology, u know? I feel we r judged for our so called inflexibility, but people, esp. women need to realise that men function/behave differently than them, and as long as it's not hurting anyone, it should not be judged by their standards and found wanting. Basically, if men are more rigid in their own sexuality, let them be. It's their right. Sincerely, A man. Edit: I didn't mean to come off as rude.
Yes I didn't deny it. I am discriminated against them. It's easy to say I am not discriminated. If it's someone not as well to do, maybe I would respect them. But honestly, their lifestyle is not what something I want to live. I can't live in fear of not even being able to satisfy my biological needs like food and water at the end of the day. And ideally you can say a poor doesn't need to be poor all his life. But have you seen the reality? Do poor have the chance to get education or health? We are not talking about a world of nobel peace prize winners here. If not through education then how will you live a better life? The very statement "below poverty" means you have no access to good education. Would have time to *think* of anything other than how would you feed yourself today? It's ideal if your life could really change. (And I don't understand about the rest)
Like I said, different people value things differently. U need to take that into account and respect other's choices. It's not like they are forcing their choices on u, is there? And as for someone dirt poor making a name for oneself? That's my uncle-in-law's story. P.S. We r not talking reason/logic here. Just discussing why, for some, (the idea of) being gay might be worse than (the idea of) being dirt poor. I emphasize idea bcuz this is a fantasy Q. Choices in reality may differ. P.P.S. Your choices might be subconsciously influenced by your flexibility regarding sexualities; mine are, similarly, affected by my rigidity.
Just like I can't question someone's choices in preference of sex? But i have questions and will ask them. This is a concious decision that's why. Especially because I know it's the last paragraph. Unconsciously they will choose to be rich and gay any day over being poor. Being gay makes little difference for someone who has power and demeanor. And you shouldn't bother answering. Glad for your uncle btw. As for me? I don't like going to my maternal uncle's place. I like the environment and all, but I don't like the lifestyle. It's not dirt poor tho, but fairly low average.
I felt the tone in your first post was judgmental and derisive, not questioning. That's the only reason I replied. And yes, I won't bother answering hereafter.
I think we misunderstood each other then. I thought we were talking about a parent’s insecurity towards their own kids. I can see why you might be annoyed by this thread (or me who is functioning as an advocate), but this is different from the issue at hand and the question that you initially raised? Mhm, there’s another reason that I often hear too. Your example is something that I more typically associate with religious families where homosexuality is a sin, if I’m assuming correctly? In my (Chinese) ethnic culture, kids are often regarded as a reflection of the parent. Consequently, the misbehavior (or status) of the child is taken as an insult onto the family — so essentially parents see kids as an extension of themselves. For example, when my brother came out as LGBT, some of the reactions I distinctly remember were along the lines of: “Where did he get it from? It certainly didn’t come from us!” I think from parents perspective, the notion of a child coming out as gay presents an affront on their own sexuality — because the assumption is that it’s either genetic or derived from a “bad influence” (which they interpret as “bad parenting”). So suddenly there is this extremely awkward interaction when the two parents suddenly turn to each other and start accusing/probing if each other is gay — or who’s fault it is — it’s really nasty and ugly, and they’re not even talking about the child at this point. And I think it’s really sad — and it’s somewhat the motivation for this poll too — and part of the reason why I think self-flexibility is a component of this overall concept. The inflexibility/disgust at the idea of seeing it up close (or inside themselves/family) ends up rebounding as something many objective observers (at least in American culture) will regard as homophobic behavior — although the parents themselves may not inherently hate or take actions that go out of their way to discriminate against gay people.
Or they might be simply shocked that their child is not what they were. They might worry that he/she would be discriminated against. When it concerns people u love, things tend to get messy. A father might be averse to his daughter getting a boyfriend- would that mean he is heterophobic? I think the focus should not be on the initial reaction, no matter how averse, but the consequent decisions/acceptance, b4 we judge. We all hv a bit of inherent bias (which flares up when loved ones are concerned), after all, but that (IMO) shouldn't be made the sole criteria of judgment. Not that I'm denying there are extreme cases like u said. But I feel... NO.. hv experienced how people tend to jump the gun on declaring others homophobic. And it irks me.
Yeah, I agree with you too — I hate this too. I really 200% agree with your statement “we all have a bit of inherent bias”, and I really think it’s useless to think of “homophobia” as a binary, because it plainly isn’t. When used that way, it purely becomes an incendiary political term. It’s not true at all that one person is homophobic and one person isn’t. Most people have some amount of it, and even many gay people can feel disgust towards themselves. I grew up with a lot of “homophobia”, and I’m still processing it too this day. I said a lot of cringeworthy and hurtful things to people in the past, and I’m still learning, because there are a lot of loved ones around me who are LGBT. That said, regardless of intentions, the impression made on the recipient matters. I talked with my little brother about my parents afterwards, and their reaction was extremely hurtful to him. That said — it doesn’t mean that my parents don’t love him — it just becomes a very complicated and strained thing.
Maybe they went too far. I was only talking about 'a bit of bias'; some may hv stronger, deeper rooted prejudices which makes the situation very ugly, lengthens the time taken to digest and accept, and ends up scarring the recipient irrevocably.
This poll is seriously problematic. I know you're trying to quantify people's homophobia, but it's inherently equating that being gay it's a disadvantage/bad/a poor choice. Its not. Love is part of being human.
Don't worry about it and one of the most unfortunate things of the internet is not being able to know a person's emotions when typing behind a keyboard . I wasn't upset in anyway dw. I merely just wanted to ask something and I had no intention to make anyone upset or step on anyone's toes .So if anyone did get offended by my probing and questions I apologize
500 years in the future if we saved the planet and continued to progress there wouldn't be poverty. Only extra commodities for those that have achieved and worked more.
I think... I would go with money... lots and lots of money... and if I couldn't accept something about my self, I would use some small fraction of that huge amount of money and buy some "services" to change the things about my self that I didn't like...