Discussion Question For The Females Of NUF.

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Prolux, May 1, 2019.

  1. Chiiiiiiiii

    Chiiiiiiiii >Daoist Thirteen Bears< >Hero Astral Saber<

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    Pretty sure she is on her period (or almost)!..... which is why she might get pissed easily...... and rather than too shy to talk, she was definitely ignoring you......
     
  2. Prolux

    Prolux [Specifically Lazy] [Weirdly Motivated]

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    Just for some games with her and a friend of mine and hers. So i didn't really want to leave as we were also playing with another friend... Plus im literally just looking to play games, nothing else matters to me really.
     
  3. SageRozenburg

    SageRozenburg [Not a pervert][Not Suspicious]

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    From the converstations i read in this post, youre playing moba right? 1 game and you play with 9 other people, my last moba game is DOTA 2, and the main matchmaker(arranging games are a hassle, i play in the random queue, and im most people are) is a randomized game with 9 other people, in a day i play 4 games per day and thats 36 people a day, maybe ill remember 1 person and then a couple of days i forget about them. These kind of games arent about socializing.

    Edit: Maybe she took it like, you guys played together in a park for a day, and you remembering it 5 years later when you saw her in a coffee shop, and approached her, claiming you are childhood friends
     
    Last edited: May 1, 2019
  4. Kaminomikan

    Kaminomikan 神のみ感

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    you failed the moment, you answered with a lol, when that other person was asking you a serious question.

    just read out loud this conversation. if you don't feel something wrong after intonating it, then you probably have communication problems and need to talk more with other people (face to face)
     
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  5. Truerror

    Truerror Well-Known Member

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    She sounds pretty toxic. Just ignore her and move on.
     
  6. King0Mik

    King0Mik 【An Actual Idiot】

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    Here's a play by play for you. Her words in []. Your words in {}.

    {play?}
    [yeah]
    {im back btw}
    [um remind me who you are. sorry]
    {We played a while ago}
    {When i first got introduced to league, you and Heartlace played with me}
    {i was the Sona main} <-- still ok
    {Who you were too shy to talk too lol} <-- questionable because you're assuming her feelings
    She may have been less social. I personally don't really interact with other players in multiplayer games. Some people prefer more minimal interaction. She wasn't necessarily shy; she may not just not seen the need to talk to you. It's possible that Heartlace is close to her in real life or something, so she would chat a lot with that person, but not you, who is a stranger to her or perhaps just some person on the internet.
    [oh]
    {"oh" lol} <-- this is where you dun fucked up, bruh
    Whenever you put quotations about a phrase, especially if it's one word, it seems like you're mocking it to an extent.
    Compare: (This is milk.) and (This is "milk.") The second sentence implies that the item the speaker is pointing out isn't really milk, but possibly something similar to milk or something that may be considered to be milk by some but is not considered to be milk by the speaker.
    Also compare: (He is an intellectual.) and (He is "an intellectual.") The second sentence implies that the man isn't truly an intellectual, but perhaps only claiming himself to be one.
    She also misinterpreted this because although it may be clear from your perspective that you were just quoting her words, generally people don't quote each other's words with quotation marks in casual chats like this. So in the medium, for her, the quotation marks seem to more imply mocking than imply a quotation of her words.
    Moreover, the "lol" part of your response furthers this idea of the quotation marks being there for mocking. LOL is generally taken to mean "laugh out loud." Thus, the "lol" part made her think that you found her response funny in a manner that would elicit laughter.
    [oh as in i remembered]
    {haha ok} <-- also not that great
    Here, it seems like you're just brushing off her explanation.
    The phrase "haha ok" could also be taken as a disinterest in the conversation as if you didn't care for her explanation.
    [but yeah please be a jerk about my reply] <-- she might've taken it a bit far here
    {hehe} <-- also kinda not that great
    Similar to the phrase "haha ok."
    Both phrases also make it seem as if you aren't taking her seriously.
    {Though i wasn't trying to be a jerk though if you are actually offended} <-- this ok IMO, but you already fucked up, so she's probably not viewing you in a good light
    [then don't reply like that...that was a dick move]
    {ummmmmmmmmm, ok} <-- another fuck up IMO
    This could be so many different things depending on how it's said.
    She probably interpreted that as disinterest in what she has to say.
    Probably interpreted as spoken something like this.
    [... nvm okay.] <-- nvm or nevermind generally means that the person does not want to talk about the current issue that they are arguing about
    {Curious though, was it the "haha ok"? As that is what i just send as a reply to everyone. Perhaps it was something else? If it was the first one then, uhh, idk, sorry i guess? Guess it could come off}
    {as offensive}
    Here, you are continuing the topic even though she just wanted to put it behind.
    [no it was the "oh" lol reply]
    {ummmm, yea, now im confused}
    [nvm then]
    {ok then}
    {If anything i'm used to the endless hhh in oh "ohhhhhhhh" or some shit... IDK, to me the "oh" means dissapointment}
    Again, you are continuing the topic.
    [....end of discussion please]
    {k}

    Basically, you guys have different ways of "speaking" in a text medium. However, text can be interpreted in many different ways, especially in English where a change of emphasis could change the meaning.

    To be honest, when I want to end a discussion about a particular topic because I am getting upset, I will also say "nevermind." It's super annoying when the other person keeps talking about the topic even though I would like to move onto a different topic or end the conversation. I get angry enough that I will interrupt them by shouting, "Nevermind!" By continuing the topic, you probably just made her more upset.

    Even though you wanted to understand why she was upset over something you said, it's probably better to end the conversation on the topic when the other speaker says, "nevermind," and instead consult someone else on what you did wrong instead of trying to ask the person you upset while they are upset.



    TL;DR you were misinterpreted bc your replies could have many different interpretations depending on how it's spoken -> misunderstanding
    you also unintentionally exacerbated the problem by failing to recognize that she wanted to stop talking about it



    EDIT: looked at some other replies. I agree with the idea that if you make another person upset (especially in an online community like LoL where people may only know each other for a short period of time), it's better to just apologize and state that it was not your intent to upset them even if you are uncertain about what upset them. As I stated before, ask someone else (probably even someone who knows the other person who got upset) why the other person got upset if you didn't understand.
     
    Last edited: May 1, 2019
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  7. Vladarius

    Vladarius Active Member

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    well imo u just got her at a wrong time not everyone has a good day and u might have triggered her in some ways probably with those dumb questions and stuff. u seem liek ur forcing urself onto her and she even got annoyed at you cuz she thought u laughed at her reply that why that jerk thing comes from her. dont take offense fellow friend next time just chill and dont expect all teh girls in the internet to be liek guys who dont care about stuff like{ "oh" lol } there might be some pussies out there who get offended but it up to them so... my only advice from an experience bastard is that next time think before writing. i mean dont get paranoid and start overthinking but be reasonable.
     
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  8. listener

    listener Tony's Friend

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    nah it's the code , it's mean don't talk to me, it's the type of expensive peoples, :blobphone:
     
  9. Rumby

    Rumby Rumbly Tumbly

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    Hmm honestly when you started saying she 'was too shy to talk to you 'was unnecessary... and posting ' "oh" lol ' it went downhill.

    Usually convos where ppl cant remember the other can be awkard/embarrassing so i think you just wanted to laugh it off, but it didnt work out since you just "oh lol".

    Probably if you said something else to her "oh" like "yeah missed playing with you, let's play if you got time & feeling up for it? " i think it wouldve been salvaged.

    However im not a gamer and def not convo expert >.<" So yeah...

    But relates to ya somewhat, since i use 'lol' a lot and some ppl hate it cuz sounds like not taking them srsly, but without 'lol' ppl think im being mean/not friendly because I'm rather frank. So yeah be mindful of use of 'lol'
     
  10. listener

    listener Tony's Friend

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    yup, maybe they are feel like something disrespect / rude , but well it's depends on other people personality though.
     
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  11. Finalbeta

    Finalbeta Science Nerd

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    It can't be just period
     
  12. Rumby

    Rumby Rumbly Tumbly

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    Yeah.
    Def personality is part of it.
    Some ppl take it very far with expectations and assumptions....and when the response is different from what they imagined; they explode.
    Like rejection.. >•<"
     
  13. listener

    listener Tony's Friend

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    i really can't handle this type :sweating_profusely:, more prefer the easygoing one:blobhighfive:
     
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  14. Ai chan

    Ai chan Queen of Yuri, Devourer of Traps, Thrusted Witch

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    Dude, when girls say "nvm", it means we don't want to talk about it. It essentially means "Nevermind, let's not talk about it anymore" but that's a handful to type and phone chats are annoying.

    What you should've done was change the subject into:
    1) So are you getting into a game soon?
    2) Anyone from back then is still around?
    3) Who's the top dog in the game now? (This is kind of risky, as she could've just said, "I don't know". In which case, change the subject to something else)

    And also, ""oh" lol" IS rude. It's like you're saying you don't believe her when she said she didn't remember you. It sounds sarcastic, like when you say, "'daddy' lol" referring to 'not father'. What's wrong just saying "oh lol"?

    If it was Ai-chan, Ai-chan would've cut conversation as well. Except instead of telling you to change the subject, the polite girl she was, Ai-chan would've just left you and if you keep sending Ai-chan messages, Ai-chan would've blocked you. That was how annoying you sounded like in that conversation.
     
    Last edited: May 2, 2019
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  15. SoulZer0

    SoulZer0 Heaven Refining

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    The way you explain it, 10/10
     
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  16. SummerForest

    SummerForest Well-Known Member

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    nvm
     
    Last edited: May 2, 2019
  17. Sakuratea

    Sakuratea A Cup ot Tea

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    >"oh" lol
    I'm not an expert on women's feeling but you don't jest sarcastically if you are not that close with someone. It will make you look sarcastic and negative (even if you really are sarcastic and negative, please don't make that kind of impression. It's bad)
     
  18. dulich123

    dulich123 New Member

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    Follow me. my guess is she didn't want to socialize in the first place; short sentences, bluntly pointing out she didn't know who you were, etc. when she did remember it was just a single "oh," showing a lack of interest. when you kept pressing she got annoyed.
     
  19. susanty.smile

    susanty.smile [Insomniac]

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    that 'oh, lol' is definitely killed you

    never ever repeat other people word without comment (actually, if you wanna comment, you don't need to repeat the word....just comment)

    she definitely thought you were making fun of her...

    imagine, a male stranger suddenly chat a woman feeling friendly whatsoever...that arouse suspicion
    then he went to do what seemed like making fun of you...it was truly not a good impression all right

    i don't blame you tho... some female have this kind of tendencies...probably from unpleasant experiences
     
  20. Living Dream

    Living Dream Well-Known Member

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    I really dont get it tbh. I would be so confused if that happend to me. Gamer girls seems pretty scary.