So I had a random story pop to mind and decided to write it down. Here it is, just to share if anyone wants to read an amateur One-Shot then feel free to just enjoy, critique (kindly please), or not read at all. -This is NOT made for any events, competition, or for it to be posted on NU officially. (Would be cool though, but that’s not my intention in posting this.) -If this is in the wrong part of the forum or it violates any rules then please message me about it. I won’t learn if I don’t know what I did wrong. -Again, please be kind. -I’m unaware if this takes after any specific story, it literally just popped to mind and I just wrote it down: no preliminary searching to see if it was original at all. Synopsis: An interaction between a couple that somewhat involves the patrons and workers in a coffee shop. Spoiler: The Story Scene between a [shy romantic girlfriend-girl] and a [bluntly romantic boyfriend-boy]: The two are both drinking the same kind of coffee at ___ Coffee Shop in one of their windowed booths that view their small town’s busiest and singular two-lane street. [Girl] had set down her drink and looked out towards the street, where snow started piling up at the edge where it’d melt into the city’s drainage system. She’d been mesmerized by an inexplicable beauty brought about by nature’s interaction with humanity’s creation, but she kept the sight to herself as she knew [Boy] would never truly appreciate this simplistic visual masterpiece. She shifted her gaze to him, and as per her expectations he had a languid face plastered on with eyes closed while taking another sip. He had placed the drink down to where it had originally been and looked at [Girl]. [Boy] “Is there something wrong?” [Girl] “No, nothing’s wro... wait. Is that...?” [Girl] slowly looked at her cup that [Boy] had placed back. [Boy] “Ah, it’s yours. I picked up the wrong one.” [Girl] “...why...?” [Boy] “I thought it was mine, but I realized it was actually yours. Still good though.” [Girl] “You’ve realized that and didn’t put it back?” [Boy] “Well it was sweeter than mine so I was curious.” [Girl] “Are you...” Before she had finished her sentence, [Boy] had reached his hand to her cheek, leaned forward and pecked her lips. As [Girl] had yet to properly react, [Boy] went further and pushed his tongue between her lips, to which she subconsciously separated her teeth to receive him as had been done numerous times prior. [Girl] had temporarily short-circuited, only to recover with a furious blush and lean back to see a glimmering silver string connecting their now-separate lips. [Boy] had sat back down composedly, resuming to drink from his coffee as if nothing happened. In contrast, [Girl] stayed seated while flushed and in a daze, heated breaths, a feverish gaze directed at the man who just kissed her as if demanding more. Seconds passed but she felt as if she’d been staring for eternity, and when she pieced everything together her blush heated further. [Boy] “Huh, it’s sweeter now.” [Girl] looked at [Boy] with tears in the corner of her eyes, only to realize where they were. She looked around to see the other patrons in the shop slightly blushing, averting their gaze, or squealing in delight (mostly the women) at the couple’s interaction... including some of the people who stopped and were watching through the window from outside on the sidewalk. With [Boy]’s words, the other customers realized what he’d thought and the squeals resounded once again. As [Girl]’s face continued to heat up, [Boy] made a bold statement. [Boy] “As I thought, it was sweeter because of you.” [Girl] “Wha-wah-wh-wha-whatareyousayingthisisntthetimeto-“ [Boy] swiftly sealed her lips with his once more to continue their previous action as if resuming what was paused. He separated once again, sat back down while looking at [Girl]. Her gaze was even more feverish, eyes unfocused, face completely flushed, with hot sighs slowly leaking out and her body going limp. Everyone watching was spewing out sugar, someone could be heard saying “now my coffee is sweet too...”, and the waitresses were watching the couple with heartwarming eyes laced with envy while conversing amongst each other. The shop owner came over with and settled the couple’s tab with [Boy], and he went to the waitresses while giving them a reprimand as they weren’t serving the other customers, but only lightly as everyone in the shop was otherwise focused on the couple. [Boy] finished his coffee, stood up and held [Girl]’s coffee in front of her. She looked at the drink, timidly grabbed it with both hands, and shifted her unfocused gaze towards her boyfriend who had leaned towards her. Only the shop owner knew what was going to happen next while nodding his head and giving the couple a thumbs-up. [Boy] “Let’s go. Can you get up?” [Girl] didn’t reply, just continuing to look at him while holding her cup with both hands. She didn’t respond while he reached under her, lifted her up with his arms, and carried her out of the shop. The onlookers stared in fascination with some squealing once again and others murmuring things like “how nice...” “it’s a bridal carry” “so bold” while directing a warm or jealous gaze to the couple, but [Boy] just continued on. [Girl] kept her sight on [Boy], disregarding everything else as she only saw him and heard an echo of his voice from earlier saying “-it was sweeter because of you.” The whole time she kept her hands on the cup, unknowing if it was heating her up or if she was heating it up, until [Boy] drove them back to their apartment. When he carried her in, he set her down on the couch, took the drink from her to set on the table, and as he sat down besides her while looking towards her, she wrapped her arms around the back of his neck, leaned towards his ear and whispered “More...” The next day [Boy] had woken up on the bed with [Girl] on his chest, bare body against bare body. He smiled while looking upon ‘his woman’ who was slightly stirring while clinging to him with a relaxed expression. Time passed until she woke up while one of his hands was gently going through her hair, the other holding the small of her back. She awoke to see ‘her man’ smiling and responded by giving him a light peck on the corner of his lips. [Man] “Good morning.” [Woman] “Good morning... dear.” [Man] “Hahaha, you’ve never given me a pet name before.” [Woman] “After what happened... last night... I thought about it.” [Man] “About what?” [Woman] “Us” [Man] “Ah well...” [Man] shifted [Woman] off of him, got off the bed and searched through the nightstand. Curious, she shifted from the center of the bed to looking over the side and watched over him while paying attention half to his actions and half to his physique that was completely to her preference, then her cheeks blushed when he stood up and his pelvis was not a foot in front of her face, but she never looked away. With something in hand he urged her to sit down on the bed. She complied, and he took a knee. [Man] “It may not have been the best time to do this but...” [Woman] *gasp* [Man] “Will you marry-“ [Woman] “YES!” [Man] “...” [Woman] “...yes I will!” Both laughed at how they stumbled the proposal. [Man] stood up, walked towards their bedroom closet, and slid open the door. [Woman] gasped and held her breath upon seeing the tuxedo and wedding dress hanging up with a box holding their respective accessories beneath each. Tears were streaming down [Woman]’s face while her breathing was slightly erratic and her hands held together in front of her, holding the box that held their engagement rings. [Man] held out a couple of pamphlets towards her, each designating places where they could be wed or stay for their honeymoon. He’d prepared almost everything... almost. 2 months later their wedding was held, [Man] became [Husband] and [Woman] became [Wife], but it was very brief as another month passed and [Wife] was found to be 3 months pregnant. 6 months later, [Mother] held their daughter in hand and [Father] held their son in hand. They left the hospital for their house that they’d purchased a few months back. Half a year later, [Father], [Mother], [Son], and [Daughter] all went to ___ Coffee Shop that had the same owner, sat in the same seats, spoke with the same waitresses, and took the same order. This time though, there were double the people at their booth, a happy and slightly noisy family. As some of the waitresses played with [Son] and [Daughter], the two spoke nostalgically. [Father] “How funny.” [Mother] “What is?” [Father] “If you think about the timing, our kids were conceived that night.” [Mother] “Oh shut it you.” [Father] “But it’s true.” [Mother] “...yeah. You know what though?” [Father] “What is it?” [Mother] “I want more.” [Owner] “Just how many more do you need??” [Mother] “Hmm... a dozen at least.” [Patrons, Waitresses, and Owner] “WHAT!!!???” [Father] “Shh, you’re too loud.” [Mother] “Aww calm down you two.” [Son and Daughter] *Crying* (After everyone calmed down) [Mother] “The two of us talked about it on our honeymoon. We can support a large family and have been preparing properly. Our parents approved as well.” [Waitress 1] “That timid and shy girl from back then is so bold now...” [Waitress 2] “I know right?” [Owner] *Wiping tears* “She’s grown up splendidly since a decade ago when she first became a regular.” [Father] “She doesn’t have this composure when it’s just us two though.” [Mother] “HEY! Don’t talk about that.” [Father] “But you’re so cute though when-“ [Mother] “DON’T YOU DARE...” [Father] “Ok ok, calm down. You love it though.” [Mother] “...yes I do.” [Owner] “So earlier you said something about your kids?” [Father] “Ah, yeah, looking back on it, it seems like they were conceived that night after we left this shop.” [Waitress 2] “Ah! So that means you two...” [Mother] “Yes... and the morning after he proposed to me before we even got dressed.” The female patrons and waitresses all looked at [Father] and imagined the proposal, saying “oh my” or “wow” while blushing. The male patrons looked at [Mother] and imagined the night scene while being glared at by [Father] and their respective partners. [Son] and [Daughter] both cried for food, to which [Mother] began breastfeeding the two while being covered from prying eyes by [Father]. The owner urged people to mind their own business and the waitresses to get back to work. Later on, [Mother] and [Father] would tell all 14 of their children about how the two met, how he proposed, when they brought their first children out, all of it happening at that coffee shop.
Not bad not bad (despite me reading it from the end which resulted in a atrocious reading quality). 14-15/20 Post it on ScribbleHub as a oneshot if you want, but don't expect a lot of readers.
Reposting because I originally posted under the wrong forum category: So I had a random story pop to mind and decided to write it down. Here it is, just to share if anyone wants to read an amateur One-Shot then feel free to just enjoy, critique (kindly please), or not read at all. -This is NOT made for any events, competition, or for it to be posted on NU officially. (Would be cool though, but that’s not my intention in posting this.) -If this is in the wrong part of the forum or it violates any rules then please message me about it. I won’t learn if I don’t know what I did wrong. -Again, please be kind. -I’m unaware if this takes after any specific story, it literally just popped to mind and I just wrote it down: no preliminary searching to see if it was original at all. Synopsis: An interaction between a couple that somewhat involves the patrons and workers in a coffee shop. Spoiler: The Story Scene between a [shy romantic girlfriend-girl] and a [bluntly romantic boyfriend-boy]: The two are both drinking the same kind of coffee at ___ Coffee Shop in one of their windowed booths that view their small town’s busiest and singular two-lane street. [Girl] had set down her drink and looked out towards the street, where snow started piling up at the edge where it’d melt into the city’s drainage system. She’d been mesmerized by an inexplicable beauty brought about by nature’s interaction with humanity’s creation, but she kept the sight to herself as she knew [Boy] would never truly appreciate this simplistic visual masterpiece. She shifted her gaze to him, and as per her expectations he had a languid face plastered on with eyes closed while taking another sip. He had placed the drink down to where it had originally been and looked at [Girl]. [Boy] “Is there something wrong?” [Girl] “No, nothing’s wro... wait. Is that...?” [Girl] slowly looked at her cup that [Boy] had placed back. [Boy] “Ah, it’s yours. I picked up the wrong one.” [Girl] “...why...?” [Boy] “I thought it was mine, but I realized it was actually yours. Still good though.” [Girl] “You’ve realized that and didn’t put it back?” [Boy] “Well it was sweeter than mine so I was curious.” [Girl] “Are you...” Before she had finished her sentence, [Boy] had reached his hand to her cheek, leaned forward and pecked her lips. As [Girl] had yet to properly react, [Boy] went further and pushed his tongue between her lips, to which she subconsciously separated her teeth to receive him as had been done numerous times prior. [Girl] had temporarily short-circuited, only to recover with a furious blush and lean back to see a glimmering silver string connecting their now-separate lips. [Boy] had sat back down composedly, resuming to drink from his coffee as if nothing happened. In contrast, [Girl] stayed seated while flushed and in a daze, heated breaths, a feverish gaze directed at the man who just kissed her as if demanding more. Seconds passed but she felt as if she’d been staring for eternity, and when she pieced everything together her blush heated further. [Boy] “Huh, it’s sweeter now.” [Girl] looked at [Boy] with tears in the corner of her eyes, only to realize where they were. She looked around to see the other patrons in the shop slightly blushing, averting their gaze, or squealing in delight (mostly the women) at the couple’s interaction... including some of the people who stopped and were watching through the window from outside on the sidewalk. With [Boy]’s words, the other customers realized what he’d thought and the squeals resounded once again. As [Girl]’s face continued to heat up, [Boy] made a bold statement. [Boy] “As I thought, it was sweeter because of you.” [Girl] “Wha-wah-wh-wha-whatareyousayingthisisntthetimeto-“ [Boy] swiftly sealed her lips with his once more to continue their previous action as if resuming what was paused. He separated once again, sat back down while looking at [Girl]. Her gaze was even more feverish, eyes unfocused, face completely flushed, with hot sighs slowly leaking out and her body going limp. Everyone watching was spewing out sugar, someone could be heard saying “now my coffee is sweet too...”, and the waitresses were watching the couple with heartwarming eyes laced with envy while conversing amongst each other. The shop owner came over with and settled the couple’s tab with [Boy], and he went to the waitresses while giving them a reprimand as they weren’t serving the other customers, but only lightly as everyone in the shop was otherwise focused on the couple. [Boy] finished his coffee, stood up and held [Girl]’s coffee in front of her. She looked at the drink, timidly grabbed it with both hands, and shifted her unfocused gaze towards her boyfriend who had leaned towards her. Only the shop owner knew what was going to happen next while nodding his head and giving the couple a thumbs-up. [Boy] “Let’s go. Can you get up?” [Girl] didn’t reply, just continuing to look at him while holding her cup with both hands. She didn’t respond while he reached under her, lifted her up with his arms, and carried her out of the shop. The onlookers stared in fascination with some squealing once again and others murmuring things like “how nice...” “it’s a bridal carry” “so bold” while directing a warm or jealous gaze to the couple, but [Boy] just continued on. [Girl] kept her sight on [Boy], disregarding everything else as she only saw him and heard an echo of his voice from earlier saying “-it was sweeter because of you.” The whole time she kept her hands on the cup, unknowing if it was heating her up or if she was heating it up, until [Boy] drove them back to their apartment. When he carried her in, he set her down on the couch, took the drink from her to set on the table, and as he sat down besides her while looking towards her, she wrapped her arms around the back of his neck, leaned towards his ear and whispered “More...” The next day [Boy] had woken up on the bed with [Girl] on his chest, bare body against bare body. He smiled while looking upon ‘his woman’ who was slightly stirring while clinging to him with a relaxed expression. Time passed until she woke up while one of his hands was gently going through her hair, the other holding the small of her back. She awoke to see ‘her man’ smiling and responded by giving him a light peck on the corner of his lips. [Man] “Good morning.” [Woman] “Good morning... dear.” [Man] “Hahaha, you’ve never given me a pet name before.” [Woman] “After what happened... last night... I thought about it.” [Man] “About what?” [Woman] “Us” [Man] “Ah well...” [Man] shifted [Woman] off of him, got off the bed and searched through the nightstand. Curious, she shifted from the center of the bed to looking over the side and watched over him while paying attention half to his actions and half to his physique that was completely to her preference, then her cheeks blushed when he stood up and his pelvis was not a foot in front of her face, but she never looked away. With something in hand he urged her to sit down on the bed. She complied, and he took a knee. [Man] “It may not have been the best time to do this but...” [Woman] *gasp* [Man] “Will you marry-“ [Woman] “YES!” [Man] “...” [Woman] “...yes I will!” Both laughed at how they stumbled the proposal. [Man] stood up, walked towards their bedroom closet, and slid open the door. [Woman] gasped and held her breath upon seeing the tuxedo and wedding dress hanging up with a box holding their respective accessories beneath each. Tears were streaming down [Woman]’s face while her breathing was slightly erratic and her hands held together in front of her, holding the box that held their engagement rings. [Man] held out a couple of pamphlets towards her, each designating places where they could be wed or stay for their honeymoon. He’d prepared almost everything... almost. 2 months later their wedding was held, [Man] became [Husband] and [Woman] became [Wife], but it was very brief as another month passed and [Wife] was found to be 3 months pregnant. 6 months later, [Mother] held their daughter in hand and [Father] held their son in hand. They left the hospital for their house that they’d purchased a few months back. Half a year later, [Father], [Mother], [Son], and [Daughter] all went to ___ Coffee Shop that had the same owner, sat in the same seats, spoke with the same waitresses, and took the same order. This time though, there were double the people at their booth, a happy and slightly noisy family. As some of the waitresses played with [Son] and [Daughter], the two spoke nostalgically. [Father] “How funny.” [Mother] “What is?” [Father] “If you think about the timing, our kids were conceived that night.” [Mother] “Oh shut it you.” [Father] “But it’s true.” [Mother] “...yeah. You know what though?” [Father] “What is it?” [Mother] “I want more.” [Owner] “Just how many more do you need??” [Mother] “Hmm... a dozen at least.” [Patrons, Waitresses, and Owner] “WHAT!!!???” [Father] “Shh, you’re too loud.” [Mother] “Aww calm down you two.” [Son and Daughter] *Crying* (After everyone calmed down) [Mother] “The two of us talked about it on our honeymoon. We can support a large family and have been preparing properly. Our parents approved as well.” [Waitress 1] “That timid and shy girl from back then is so bold now...” [Waitress 2] “I know right?” [Owner] *Wiping tears* “She’s grown up splendidly since a decade ago when she first became a regular.” [Father] “She doesn’t have this composure when it’s just us two though.” [Mother] “HEY! Don’t talk about that.” [Father] “But you’re so cute though when-“ [Mother] “DON’T YOU DARE...” [Father] “Ok ok, calm down. You love it though.” [Mother] “...yes I do.” [Owner] “So earlier you said something about your kids?” [Father] “Ah, yeah, looking back on it, it seems like they were conceived that night after we left this shop.” [Waitress 2] “Ah! So that means you two...” [Mother] “Yes... and the morning after he proposed to me before we even got dressed.” The female patrons and waitresses all looked at [Father] and imagined the proposal, saying “oh my” or “wow” while blushing. The male patrons looked at [Mother] and imagined the night scene while being glared at by [Father] and their respective partners. [Son] and [Daughter] both cried for food, to which [Mother] began breastfeeding the two while being covered from prying eyes by [Father]. The owner urged people to mind their own business and the waitresses to get back to work. Later on, [Mother] and [Father] would tell all 14 of their children about how the two met, how he proposed, when they brought their first children out, all of it happening at that coffee shop.
honestly... why the fuck not make a novel based on that. Your plot is better than many japanes novels, this natural change of calling of MC and MF is nice done also this "[Boy] “As I thought, it was sweeter because of you.”" is really umm good and i would said the best way to kiss in public. Well don't ask for grama impresion from me but it was nice to a eyes so thank you for the meal
Thank you for the advice, but as for making a novel I’d be a bit reluctant on making it too long. I can imagine it being 5-6 chapters at most but that’s way too short really... unless I make it a series of short stories like that one?
well many books become bad because of how long they are but you always can make web novel or long one shot and your time idea of many stories in one book is nice since you can make every story difrent and if you can then make them in the same world and with each one of stories reader will gain more information about world but that would be difficult.