Discussion Share me your thoughts about this >.>

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Martialegg, May 8, 2020.

?

Do you think the thread is too long?

  1. Yes.

    6 vote(s)
    42.9%
  2. Nah, It's okay. I can handle that much.

    8 vote(s)
    57.1%
  1. Martialegg

    Martialegg [World's most powerful Egg] [HazyPrecise's Senpai]

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    Yet another Looooong thread from me xd
    This one is about relationship, so I guess the girls would prefer this one than the guys.
    Since the last thread leaves me quite satisfied, I plan to also ask fellow Nuffians to give me your insightful thoughts xd.
    Read the bolded words to skim through~

    When you have an outstanding junior that doesn't want to leave your side because she enjoys being my assistant, rather than becoming a leader of a separate team in a different place.

    Her reasoning is quite simple. Because she's not really looking for a higher career, she doesn't want to move out of the city (Far away from family), and she's comfortable working with me. I also given her a lot of monthly bonus, since she deserved it. The higher ups also like her a lot, hence why they always pushed me to make her to become a leader of a separate team.

    My relationship with her actually goes a long way. She's actually my neighbor and I always treat her like a genius and reliable little sister/cousin. Our age is 5 years apart.
    Our parents often hanging out together, so we often play together when I'm still in elementary and early middle school.
    It changed after I had a gf and stop seeing her since then. Maybe occasionally, but never to the point of hanging out together. We still chat once in a while, although it's more like a greeting or message to our parents.

    We've only met her irl once again, when she called me that she's nearly graduated. At that point, I was already broke up with my ex and I'm still working as a low-level manager.
    As if it was fate, I was just going to be transferred to a branch office without much manpower, so I have the green light to recruit new people. The timing is uncanny.
    So, I send her the heads up and personally interviewed her with my HR colleague.
    To be honest, I was completely impressed with her report card. It's overwhelmingly high spec. 90% of the number is higher than 3.5 points (Maximum is 4.0). Compared to mine, I think my average is around 2.8 or so xD
    It makes me wonder why she wants to work with me with that kind of spec. Several seniors actually asking her whether she wants to work with them, yet rejected because she prefers to be with someone she knows. Well, the reasoning is legit, so I guess I'm quite lucky to have a competent subordinate.

    So, I trained her from zero personally and the results are mind-blowing. I can always feel my inferiority complex each time I've seen her work and presentation quality '-')
    After just one year, she's basically surpassed my capability. I think it's stupid for me to even think of holding her as my subordinate.
    She's on a completely different level than me. She's on the level that will leave me in the dust, were she wants to pursue career. Calling her a superwoman is not an exaggeration.

    Whoops, I think I've gone off-trails and omitted too much details xd

    Well, back to the topic. When she refused to be transferred and promoted (A few times), I have a suspicion that the reasoning is centered on me somehow.
    The reason why I always denied it is because she had a BF. She told me herself and has a lot of evidence that it is the truth. I even heard it indirectly from my family that she brought him to her parents. So, I just treated it as 'Ahahaha There's no way~' kind of attitude.
    The closest thing in my mind is 'What kind of monster can handle a girl like this?'

    And then I've heard that she broke up with her BF last week. I dunno about the details and I can't ask.
    I've heard about it indirectly from my mom. My mom heard about it from her mom.

    She's acting as if there is nothing happened and working like usual.
    For the sake of work, I've been putting up with it for the past week and I can't hold my curiosity anymore.
    What do you think I should do, If you were in my position? Should I ignore it, or should I just ask about it?

    Thx for reading (y)

     
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  2. lichdeath

    lichdeath undead meatbun ^^

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    so you have the fabled childhood friends go die you raijuu

    (go for her cuz shes most likely interested in you)
     
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  3. otaku31

    otaku31 Well-Known Member

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    Stay away from office romances, especially when you're her direct superior, more so when she has, apparently, just broken up with someone. :sweating_profusely:

    Don't delude yourself! Join our singles club; somehow it's very lonely here, even with so many members. :blobpensive: Wonder why? :blobconfused:
     
    Last edited: May 8, 2020
  4. ExcitableFoci

    ExcitableFoci Well-Known Member

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    It depends on how well you guys get along tbh.

    She might like to talk about breakups or might take it badly, I don´t know.

    As for the possibility of her liking you... Its improbable. Real Life doesn't follow the rules of a romcom. But there is no way to be 100% sure of that. Just continue getting along with her and you will discover the truth someday. Pushing for the truth isn't always a good choice even if curiosity tickles you.
     
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  5. LAOG

    LAOG Well-Known Member

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    Shoot your shot. Date her. Marry her. Have a kid with her, and then let us know if she likes you or not.
     
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  6. asriu

    asriu fu~ fu~ fu~

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    fumu
    childhood friend check
    imouto vibe feel check
    smarter than you check
    glue to you like mouse trap check
    fumu
    go explode
    cough that aside just act usual
    if you really wanna know her feeling toward recent event just talk with her outside work time~
    you're an adult no? so go figure out how to do that~

    anyway go explode~
     
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  7. 0000000

    0000000 I B SMILING!

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    Go for it and tell us the results, if it is bad, we will laugh at you non-maliciously, if it is good, we will cheer for you.
     
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  8. Zaroz

    Zaroz Existential Lurker Demonic Calamity

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    Firstly, whatever the case, I would advise against a workplace romance.
    Secondly, even if you are thinking that her reason for refusing to transfer is related to you, it may not even be due to romantic reasons. You said that you are childhood friends. She could be thinking of you as a platonic sibling-like relation. Anyways, we could speculate for hours, but probably won't get any closer to an answer.

    In any case: If she wants to talk to you about it, she will probably try hinting at the topic or steering the conversation towards it. If she doesn't want to talk about it now, then wait and see.

    P.S: Go Explode, Riajuu! XD
     
  9. Green Apple

    Green Apple Actually I'm secretly an orange.

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    Don't hope to much. She probably has another reason for that. If I were you I'd just have a small talk like "you have an opportunity for career growth, why don't you go for it? is there something holding you back bla bla bla"

    It might even be something as simple as she earns enough for her lifestyle and doesn't want to be bothered with stress.

    P.s. if she was interested in you, she would give you hints tbh. So it is much more likely in my opinion that she is content with her current position in terms of time, effort, money and stress.
     
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  10. LNreader

    LNreader Courting Death

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    She's gonna crack open your egg shell and suck out your martial essence.
     
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  11. aegis062

    aegis062 Chaotic Demon Emperor

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    Honestly I don't think she is interested it's more that she is comfortable having you as a boss instead of having to move up and have more responsibility with a job that will only pay a bit more. I hate leading I can do it I know I am more qualified to lead than my current manager everyone in my team and around know, but I try to do the least amount of work possible. if I can delegate task I will do so in a heart beat.

    back to the topic, if she really was interested in you im pretty sure she would have invited you out a few times not just talk to you. rule 1 an interested woman will move heaven and earth to make her self available to you. asking for you number or more indirect would be your facebook, snapchat or instagram. invite you out to eat if she is more direct in her approach. women flirt when she is interested. from my experience she would have already dropped hints if she was interested. my other experience is when someone is that close to you and you have known each other for years she probably see's you as a big brother or really close friend it's hard to develop feelings for someone that close. I grew up with 2 girls living in my neighborhood their parents and my parent would always get together for all kinds of activities fishing, camping, BBQ, sports. one of them would come every chance she got to come hang out the other was in her own little world and would sometimes come and hang.
     
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  12. Donutmindme

    Donutmindme [dounut][Zodiac:Golden snake][PROcrastinator]

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    First, don’t assume anything.

    Second, you’re her superior so I’d stay away from office romance like other are suggesting.

    Honestly, idk waht else to say.
     
  13. AliceShiki

    AliceShiki 『Ms. Tree』『Magical Girl of Love and Justice』

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    ... Isn't this a pretty straight-forward situation?

    If you have romantic interest on her, you can try flirting with her and seeing where it goes.

    If you don't... Then you don't. Do nothing.
     
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  14. Jden

    Jden Well-known Dorse

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    Kyaa is this the legendary childhood friends romance~~ <33 but in all seriousness, only time will tell. If she gives you any signals from now on and if you're down you should just go for it. Also, if she's refusing to leave then it probably means you're a good manager..?
     
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  15. Coffea to Ell

    Coffea to Ell 【⚘ Sleepy Bunny ⚘】

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    Mmm.... I think its normal. When you feels comfortable with fellow coworkers and environment where you working.
    Mmm.... I think its normal things too...
    A lot people prefer a comfortable career, and too lazy to seek higher career with decreased "me time".
    Why?? If she's the type who prefer to be around people she feels comfortable, i think thats not a problem....
    Not every woman with high spec enjoy being a leader, usually they dont even care about their spec....
    So what?? Is she always flaunting her high level in front of you or anyone else?
    Or its just you're too aware of it?? Have higher self esteem. Everyone have their own value.
    thats just some probability. If you're really want to know, find a way to know the answer.
    First of all, are you in love with her? Or you just consider her as your sister or your neighbour? Answer that first with certainty. :blobpeek:
    If you're in love or very attracted to her, you can ask her.
    If you're not in love or just consider her as your sister, dont ask her anything. Just being there will do. If she really want you to know, she will give you sign.:blobpopcorn:
     
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  16. GDLiZy

    GDLiZy Wise Deepsea Mermaid

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    Man, I feel like all the old-time Nuffians are getting married and departing into a happy place, while I'm still here feeling absolutely nothing to no one, except my undying love for solitude.

    On topic, I highly advise against office romance. Bias and favouritism will be the downfall of your career. Either you treated it with absolute caution and understanding from the other party, or you shot yourself in the foot, as well as your other party, as well as your boss.
     
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  17. imK

    imK Artful Dodger

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    It wasn't too long. If I can wade through 1000+ chapter plus filler-filled webnovels a short post isn't going to break my mind.

    Firstly, I think it's better to hold to the status quo. You're in a good position with her. You're a childhood friend and you have a positive professional and personal relationship with her. Before making decisions, ask yourself two things:

    - What do I hope will happen?
    - What is likely to happen?

    If you understand both your reasons for doing something and accept the potential outcomes that may occur as a result of you taking action then do as you will.
     
  18. Martialegg

    Martialegg [World's most powerful Egg] [HazyPrecise's Senpai]

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    Indeed. I guess before I'm curious about her, I should've ask myself what I really want first.
    I'd be lying if I'm not attracted to her, but It just felt weird because I always treated her like a little sister.
    Also, I have this nagging feeling of inferiority when I compare myself to her. People would tell me that I'm a lucky bastard if I had her as a wife, but then It's a complex feeling in regards of having a pride as a guy. She looks up to me and always tell me a lot of good points, but I know she's just being nice about it.

    And I think she also not interested in me in that way. I think she just prefers to lean on someone that she could trust.

    I guess I'm being swayed too much by my colleagues, especially the men. e.e

    Thx for the insight imk, It's really helpful ^^
     
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  19. imK

    imK Artful Dodger

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    You're welcome brother. It's not a sin to be attracted to people. Feeling inferior to someone we see as superior to us is natural, but don't let it rule you. It'll suck the life out of you if you let it. Pride in being a man comes from what a man accomplishes himself. It's not up to other people to give us that pride by being lesser than us. Women and men are equal as humans. Same, but different. Feeling less of a man because a woman does better stems from seeing women as less. They're not. That kind of thinking makes us enemies when we are naturally suited to be allies. I hope it doesn't come across as a judgment on you when really it's only my own thoughts and observations of people in general. Make the decisions that get you the results you know you can live with and you'll be all right. Or at least that's my interpretation of life.