Share the most absurd novel quotes you have found

Discussion in 'Novel General' started by AliceShiki, Aug 12, 2022.

  1. AliceShiki

    AliceShiki 『Ms. Tree』『Magical Girl of Love and Justice』

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    Disclaimer: Please try avoiding absurd quotes that exist only due to obvious translation errors. "sky was full of skies" may be funny, but I think it's a bit obvious that it meant "sky was full of stars".

    So well, I'm reading a novel rn and the author has baffled me many times with their amazing writing skills.

    Let's not dwell on why I haven't dropped it yet, and instead focus on the wonderful and amazing quote I found on a given chapter~

    Behold!
    Okay, that's what I wanted to share, and I made a whole thread for it. Share yours too. The more absurd the better~
     
  2. Gandire Alea

    Gandire Alea [Wicked Awesome Translator]

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    What do you mean "play with fairies"??
     
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  3. AliceShiki

    AliceShiki 『Ms. Tree』『Magical Girl of Love and Justice』

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    There are fairies in the setting. It's a medi-fantasy setting and whatnot. MC is a friend of the fairies, so she plays with them.

    I have no idea how that is supposed to educate her fetus, but hey, I'm not one to question the author's childraising skills, they sure know what they're doing~
     
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  4. Gandire Alea

    Gandire Alea [Wicked Awesome Translator]

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    You'd be surprised, parents will actually do this. I've heard that some expecting mothers in Japan will go to english private lessons for the still unborn child. I don't think you can push this one on just the author.
     
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  5. otaku31

    otaku31 Well-Known Member

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    So I guess the best time to get pregnant is when one is pursuing one's PhD? :blobpeek:
     
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  6. AliceShiki

    AliceShiki 『Ms. Tree』『Magical Girl of Love and Justice』

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    :facepalm::facepalm::facepalm::facepalm::facepalm::facepalm::facepalm::facepalm::facepalm::facepalm::facepalm::facepalm:

    Well, human stupidity at its finest, I guess.
    [​IMG]
     
  7. Gandire Alea

    Gandire Alea [Wicked Awesome Translator]

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    Considering how long a Ph.D could take, that's going to be quite the number of children
     
  8. Avgust

    Avgust —That sinking feeling you get—

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    Not a translated novel.

     
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  9. Marvin

    Marvin The Man who realize love

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    Chinese novels are full of this especially "Mt.tai" or "Jade-like beauty"
     
  10. Daoist Ghoul

    Daoist Ghoul Well-Known Member

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    not absurd but 'Not enough to reach the Apex' is still my one of the faves.
     
  11. Aachiin0914

    Aachiin0914 ☼Sunnyshies☼

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    Mine was...it's not really absurd, but it's really funny
    It was a scene from a BL novel I read beforem forgot the title but it's an e-sport turn to VR game. It's was a touching scene actually, since mc was about to die in that scene. He just wanted stop the treatment and that's what he said in excuse, and he was refuted by his brother just like that. And it made me laugh instead of crying.

    This has been in my head since I read it. I can't forget about it.
     
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  12. otaku31

    otaku31 Well-Known Member

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    There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, which specified that a concern for one's safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind. Orr was crazy and could be grounded. All he had to do was ask; and as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy and would have to fly more missions. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to he was sane and had to. Yossarian was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of this clause of Catch-22 and let out a respectful whistle.

    Yossarian goes AWOL (absent without official leave) and flies to Rome with Milo in search of the vulnerable kid sister. The rebel has come to hate flying and is blamed for harming army morale.
    Morale was deteriorating and it was all Yossarian's fault. The country was in peril; he was jeopardizing his traditional rights of freedom and independence by daring to exercise them.
     
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  13. AliceShiki

    AliceShiki 『Ms. Tree』『Magical Girl of Love and Justice』

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    Tbf, I think this can make sense when teaching royalty or something in a medi-fantasy setting.

    In a real life scenario it's crazy though~
    Aaaaaaaaaawn, this is so lovely~
    I think the part that baffled me the most was "Yossarian was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of this clause", because it doesn't sound simple at all! xD

    This one was also pretty baffling though~ "The country was in peril; he was jeopardizing his traditional rights of freedom and independence by daring to exercise them."
     
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  14. otaku31

    otaku31 Well-Known Member

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    Going AWOL is made akin to desertion, and desertion harms military morale, i.e., the confidence of the remaining troops. But what is the military fighting for? Obviously, for the preservation of nationhood, of self-determination, of the fundamental rights of its citizens, the chief being the right to the very same freedom and independence which Yossarian was then exercising!
     
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  15. AliceShiki

    AliceShiki 『Ms. Tree』『Magical Girl of Love and Justice』

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    Yeah, it makes sense, but it's also pretty crazy to read it like... "How dare he exercise freedom when he should be fighting for freedom!?"
     
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  16. otaku31

    otaku31 Well-Known Member

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    Yes, as it's a novel on the absurdity of war and military commands. It is the origin of the term catch-22.
     
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  17. Spfere

    Spfere [Tea sampler] ༺ Ruyi's father ༻

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    ppfffffffffffft what? xD
     
  18. ToastedRossi

    ToastedRossi Well-Known Member

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    "a way a lone a last a loved a long the / riverrun, past Eve and Adam's, from swerve of shore to bend of bay, brings us by a commodious vicus of recirculation back to Howth Castle and Environs."
    For some people, this is one of the greatest books in the English language. And for some other people, they refuse to acknowledge this book as being written in English in the first place!
     
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  19. AliceShiki

    AliceShiki 『Ms. Tree』『Magical Girl of Love and Justice』

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    Is this... The bible?

    Well, it was originally written in Latin IIRC, so it's a translated text and not a text written in English.

    I have to wonder if the original Latin was as nonsensical in this passage as what you just sent...
     
  20. sakyuya

    sakyuya 【Villain】【The Hermit】【23:11】

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    I don't remember which novel this is, but it goes like this.

    "What!? Why are you so angry when all I did is killing your children!?"