Share the most absurd novel quotes you have found

Discussion in 'Novel General' started by AliceShiki, Aug 12, 2022.

  1. AliceShiki

    AliceShiki 『Ms. Tree』『Magical Girl of Love and Justice』

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2016
    Messages:
    23,903
    Likes Received:
    94,577
    Reading List:
    Link
    :facepalm::facepalm::facepalm::facepalm::facepalm::facepalm::facepalm::facepalm::facepalm::facepalm::facepalm::facepalm::facepalm::facepalm::facepalm::facepalm::facepalm:

    Why else...?
     
  2. ToastedRossi

    ToastedRossi Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2017
    Messages:
    3,224
    Likes Received:
    3,013
    Reading List:
    Link
    Nope. It's Finnegans Wake and it was written in 1939.
     
    AliceShiki likes this.
  3. Avgust

    Avgust —That sinking feeling you get—

    Joined:
    May 29, 2022
    Messages:
    769
    Likes Received:
    4,236
    Reading List:
    Link
    Modern setting. I forgot when it was mentioned, it was on my old collection of quotes.
     
    AliceShiki likes this.
  4. AliceShiki

    AliceShiki 『Ms. Tree』『Magical Girl of Love and Justice』

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2016
    Messages:
    23,903
    Likes Received:
    94,577
    Reading List:
    Link
    Oh... Well, that definitely doesn't sound like English.
    Yeah... Then it's an absolutely dumb quote. Or downright insane.

    It can make some sense when talking to neuro-divergent people when specifically trying to tell them that they shouldn't immediately take the blame for anything and everything that they had some involvement in and ended up going wrongly, but that's completely different from telling people to not apologize at all...
     
    mir likes this.
  5. Anra7777

    Anra7777 All powerful magic grammar hamster queen pirate.

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2018
    Messages:
    3,671
    Likes Received:
    30,824
    Reading List:
    Link
    Um… boy, do I have news for you!
    [​IMG]
     
    mir likes this.
  6. Avgust

    Avgust —That sinking feeling you get—

    Joined:
    May 29, 2022
    Messages:
    769
    Likes Received:
    4,236
    Reading List:
    Link
    I'm surprised you manage to find scenarios where it is even possibly correct. "It was twisted," that were my first thoughts when I saw it and unfortunately, some people do think that so I found it absurd.
     
    mir and AliceShiki like this.
  7. AliceShiki

    AliceShiki 『Ms. Tree』『Magical Girl of Love and Justice』

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2016
    Messages:
    23,903
    Likes Received:
    94,577
    Reading List:
    Link
    I had honestly forgotten Hebrew and Aramaic were languages.

    Greek surprised me though~

    Anyways, the point was that the Bible wasn't written in English, but then Toasted clarified that it wasn't from the Bible, so... That was that~
    Ah, that's because of a questionnaire that my psychologist asked me to fill some months back.

    It had like, a bunch of questions and possible answers about how the patient would react. Each answer had a specific grade attached to it, and it was a questionnaire aimed specifically at neuro-divergent people.

    One of the questions was about being involved in a car accident, and like... (Grades go from 0 to 4, with 4 being the highest grade) The Grade 3 answer was something along the lines of "Go out of the car, keep your calm, try to make sure you're safe and trying to help out anyone who is in danger" while grande 4 answer was like "Go out of the car, keep your calm, try to make sure you're safe and trying to help out anyone who is in danger and don't take the blame."

    And I was really confused about why I would not be supposed to take the blame in that case, because like... If I caused an accident, then why wouldn't I take the blame? I prefer to be honest about things and take the blame when I'm at fault.

    Then my psychologist explained that it was specifically because neuro-divergent people often had the habit of taking the blame far too easily and to start apologizing even when it wasn't their fault. So this question takes this into account and tells you to not start taking the blame, because like... Especially in a car accident, where there are a bunch of variables you can't be sure of due to how fast things happen with cars and stuff, you have a high chance of not being at fault, so you shouldn't start apologizing and should instead try calmly accessing the situation and stuff.


    So well, I took that into account and I could imagine a scenario where this kind of advice made sense specifically because of this conversation with my psychologist, but well... I basically agree with you that it is a totally twisted advice, and I'd also add that it could backfire badly and ruining relationships and stuff, so... Horrible and absurd stuff.
     
    mir and Avgust like this.
  8. Avgust

    Avgust —That sinking feeling you get—

    Joined:
    May 29, 2022
    Messages:
    769
    Likes Received:
    4,236
    Reading List:
    Link
    I love that advice. There are people who apologize too easily. I don't like it but I know they can't help it sometimes. There are also people who hated apologizing even when they are clearly wrong. I don't understand them at all.
     
    AliceShiki likes this.
  9. AliceShiki

    AliceShiki 『Ms. Tree』『Magical Girl of Love and Justice』

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2016
    Messages:
    23,903
    Likes Received:
    94,577
    Reading List:
    Link
    Yeah, I'm also someone who apologizes way too easily tbh. There were even times that I thought I was in the right, but decided to apologize anyways just to stop the fight and make up with the other party (which was wrong IMO), so like... I think it's an important thing to learn! Apologizing is not always a good thing! >.<

    ... I still prefer apologizing whenever I feel like I'm in the wrong though. I don't have dumb pride that stops me from doing that.

    And well, acknowledging your mistakes and apologizing for previous stances where you previously thought you were right is also important~
     
    mir likes this.
  10. Avgust

    Avgust —That sinking feeling you get—

    Joined:
    May 29, 2022
    Messages:
    769
    Likes Received:
    4,236
    Reading List:
    Link
    Way too common. Sometimes, I just agree along when I know they won't even change how they think or feel just to get them to stop talking.
     
    mir and AliceShiki like this.
  11. mir

    mir 『Has a Bad Memory』『currently inactive』

    Joined:
    May 17, 2016
    Messages:
    3,667
    Likes Received:
    5,033
    Reading List:
    Link
    @AliceShiki @Avgust The car accident example is familiar, I was specifically given advice for that exact situation. I was told to be careful not to apologize before figuring out what happened because it could be used against me in court (not sure if true though). I was given this advice since I say sorry very easily, and many times will be told 'You don't have to be/say sorry for that' and immediately respond 'oh, sorry' and then be given a look, want to apologize again but cannot and not know what to say. This happens often. (Didn't know it could be connected to neurodivergent stuff. I'll be reading/researching more about it in the future, thank you for the info/idea.)
    The quote could be useful to some people in some situations, but it's still insane because of this part 'Nothing is really a mistake until you admit you're sorry for it.' It's just denial.
    example: Burnt food while cooking? -> "I wanted it to be this way, it was not a mistake, it was intentional" *bites into charcoal*
    Maybe it's a 'technically correct' sort of thing? Still crazy.
    I go now, I have no quote to add. Have nice day.
     
    AliceShiki and Avgust like this.
  12. otaku31

    otaku31 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2015
    Messages:
    6,277
    Likes Received:
    24,233
    Reading List:
    Link
    A Portrait of the Artist was enough Joyce to last me a lifetime. I admire anyone who managed to finish Ulysses or took upon himself to go through Finnegans Wake. :blobsalute:
     
    asriu likes this.
  13. Raven Evernight

    Raven Evernight But they never just accepted me for the way I was…

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2020
    Messages:
    3,635
    Likes Received:
    12,488
    Reading List:
    Link
    Hmm there’s this part in novel about how Chinese people are all alien cultivators from immortal world that went to live on earth and everyone else is evolved from animals or the one with sex scene between mc and fox girl that has her use her tails to give him tail job I can’t find the quotes cause it was ages ago in novel and don’t remember chapter numbers
     
  14. evelynannb

    evelynannb Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2022
    Messages:
    26
    Likes Received:
    33
    Reading List:
    Link
    “Twenty minutes later, the group of examinees taking cover inside the woods saw a particular great master in the distance walking a dog……no, an arm.”
    -Global University Entrance Examination

    "with a harem innumerable one need not be an incel"
    and
    "Though Great Master Liu was Cang Qiong Mountains number one straight man across all space and time, so straight it was evident to all the heavens and earth, his straightness as certain a fact as the light of the sun and the moon-"
    -Scum Villain's Self-Saving System
    (anything from scum villain's taken out of context honestly)
     
    mir likes this.
  15. AliceShiki

    AliceShiki 『Ms. Tree』『Magical Girl of Love and Justice』

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2016
    Messages:
    23,903
    Likes Received:
    94,577
    Reading List:
    Link
    I didn't even consider the whole court thing tbh! >.<

    And it also happened to me before to like... Have someone say I shouldn't say sorry, and I'm like "Ah, sorry about that..." and then I totally have no idea what to say next! >.<

    *hugs* And yeah, the quote takes it way too far, like... Geez~
    A... Tail-job? o.0

    Okay, uhn... >.>
    The entrance exam was made in the woods and had them find a teared off arm!? o.0

    And the straightness knows by the heavens seems... Weird.
     
    mir likes this.
  16. Raven Evernight

    Raven Evernight But they never just accepted me for the way I was…

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2020
    Messages:
    3,635
    Likes Received:
    12,488
    Reading List:
    Link
    A753D8A1-A71A-4BFA-A261-CB8419780A56.jpeg
     
  17. AliceShiki

    AliceShiki 『Ms. Tree』『Magical Girl of Love and Justice』

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2016
    Messages:
    23,903
    Likes Received:
    94,577
    Reading List:
    Link
    mir likes this.
  18. Raven Evernight

    Raven Evernight But they never just accepted me for the way I was…

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2020
    Messages:
    3,635
    Likes Received:
    12,488
    Reading List:
    Link
    It goes on for like 3-5 chapters
     
  19. Rumby

    Rumby Rumbly Tumbly

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2017
    Messages:
    980
    Likes Received:
    802
    Reading List:
    Link
    Not absurd but made me chuckle...


    Kr novel i was reading yesterday
    “I am married to Items. I'm in love with items... … !”


    And came across this one today
    ‘She was just making a hundred layers of cake in her body.’
    out of context sound funny but it’s cultivation novel gotta describe it with food since it’s supposed to be a cooking one too lol
     
  20. AliceShiki

    AliceShiki 『Ms. Tree』『Magical Girl of Love and Justice』

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2016
    Messages:
    23,903
    Likes Received:
    94,577
    Reading List:
    Link
    Those are... Pretty weird indeed.

    Can't say I ever read a cultivation novel, so I'll just assume it makes sense in context and leave it at that! xD