I hope no one gets offended with this question. So in professional setting how should you address our LGBTQ friends? Should it be based on what they feel or based on what they are born to? I've been bothered by this since I work in a professional institution and you don't always have the time to ask them what they prefer to be addressed with. I was thought it should be based on what they are born with but I think some still gets offended when I call our gay friends sir and ma'am to our lesbian friends.
It doesn't hurt to ask the person intended for addressing really. It differs from person to person. But if you're really in a pinch then defer to them with their work position or Senior/ Junior, use nouns that aren't gender specific. Hope this helps
Why use Sir or Ma'am for anyone? It seems an unnecessarily subservient thing. I get it in the military you are under the command or out ranked, but outside of the military it's seems weird. I'm pretty sure I had to use it as a kid in school and in cadets/military, but I can't remember needing to use it in 30 years now. I don't think a professional setting means you need to raise people above. It's perfectly polite in English to say "Hello, here's the report you asked for", you don't need "Sir, here's the report you asked for." That said, I've no idea how I'd feel if I was Japanese. I feel like I'd avoid saying Senpai, etc. as much as possible but who knows.
it or thing, the lgbtq in my country don't want to be addressed as sir/maam, so much that they originaly wanted to pass a law fining anyone addressing them as such.
Best to ask the person what they prefer to be addressed as if you have the time, but since you’re meeting with a lot of people and don’t have the time to actually ask them about it, it will be quite hard to think of anything since it has to be formal and fit well in a sentence. Though some might still get offended, they can’t really blame you since the most common greetings that are formal ends with a gender specific word (ex. How are you doing sir/madam?).
Well in service / retail you got to have a subservient attitude. Sure, there a words and ways around using gender specific ones, but I do get OP. On that note, I generaly go with what the persons "seems to be"
Uhmn no in our case we are required to call sir/ma'am to anyone and I really meant anyone whether they have a higher or lower position even if they don't have any. It's how you show them with respect.
Hi, corpo gay here. If you can personally ask their pronouns, use what they give you. You can usually guess during the first meeting but If they correct you saying they use a particular address for themselves, use that. You could also use the conjunction mamsir (ma'am/sir) used by service industry members in our country when addressing potential customers regardless of the actual gender identity of the people being addressed. source: Jollibee
I usually just refer to them how I see them, not trying to be uncaring or anything. But if you have masculine features even if you're gay I'll refer you with masculine pronouns UNLESS you correct me otherwise. I've encountered a few members of LGBTQ+ that immediately get offended by being referred incorrectly ONCE without being clear on which pronouns they want to be referred to.
I use the magic word called "Ma'amsir". Jokes aside, I would probably use pronoun based on their biological sex if not then whatever comes to my brain first, I don't really wanna waste my time pondering what pronouns should I use to this or that person, Heck I would call a straight man, "she" if I felt like it and there's nothing they could do about it. I do not know why westerners are so obsessed with this thing tbh. I've been called Ma'am a few times before even though I'm clearly a guy, it doesn't really bother me that much.
However they want to be addressed. If they want me to use certain pronouns, I will endeavor to do so. If they don't say anything, going by their presented gender identity is also appropriate. It's all about respect. Also, just because they're gay doesn't mean they're not cis. I'm sure most gay men are still perfectly fine being called "Sir". Likewise with the lesbians being called ma'am. Just because they're a woman who likes other women doesn't make them "not a woman". I would hope that if they felt differently, they would tell you.
If it's an absolute written requirement at your job then you do it and blame any problems on managements orders like any good front line employee should. Same as in the military. If your job has a mandatory need to use the terms, then they should have a policy on who to use it with, along with a policy on dealing with rejection by the other party of the term or general discontent at both pronouns. If they don't then you can pass the buck up and ask management to make up a policy. Because unless you are the only employee or deal with few people, it will eventually need to be sorted out. The obvious problem is that unless you explicitly ask then you'll eventually be wrong at some point no matter how well meaning you want to be. And some people will be mad that you asked them. So your employer is putting you in a lose/lose situation.
I encountered an email from one of the clients I have. He's in management position and in his email signatures, they add their preferred pronouns. I think this is only an American thing. I've never encountered the same from UK, Aus, NZ, Asia, Middle East or EU. Use what they are first, if they correct you, then change it from then on.
Couldn't help but notice "call gay friends Sir and lesbian friends Ma'am", their sexuality doesn't have to do with the pronouns they prefer. If you have the time to learn that they are LGTBQ, don't they tell you which pronouns they use in the same breath? Or if it was obvious from external signs, maybe they have a pronoun pin? If they don't say it, just avoid gendered nouns (folks, people instead of ladies and gents), use their names and they/them, or go with the look.
For me, it starts with their voice or looks or what they're wearing. If we're in an environment (like in a service/store where no queue or not in a serious quiet meeting) where we can ask them of what should we call them, I'll ask. But if we cannot, I might call them when I heard their voice, whether to call them mam/sir. If they are angry and complained to/about me, I'll say my reason and apologize and proceed to ask what I should call them. We are stranger who do not know each other, we wouldnt know what to call/say. Misunderstanding and some sort of annoyance are unavoidable unless they tell me first or I have the clearance to ask them that.