I'd leave that for a later chapter, what I'd do at the start would be something like this: >>I could see a man's back, he wore a raged red robe, it looked like it would fall apart soon moment. Something intrigued me, I knew him! So I creeped closer, to see his face, but something else caught my attention, on his hands layed a woman, dead. Dead, on my own arms. Straw ceeling... a nightmare. "Loa Mae..." I mutter.<< Note out that that's what I'd do, ignore it, take it, modify it, do what you want with it. PD: Basically, you should leave more intrigue at the start, what you wrote didn't have enough, what I wrote instead leaves a few things to think about; are they friends or enemies? How/why did she die (comparing to yours were you describe her injuries)? Why does he care so much? Is he/she a cultivator?