Is it the first recognition of hard work? That the little voice of self-doubt might actually not be true? Is it proudness? Is this what it feels like to watch you children go to school? Constantly worried about how they might perform, but still inwardly proud? So yup, I'm feeling good. I wanted to share my joy. So I wanted to brag. It might not be a big deal to you guys, but it's huge to me How'd you guys do, when you uploaded your novel?
My first novel was shit. My second novel was shit. My third novel was shit. My fourth novel did really well. Until I dropped it. My fifth novel was shit. My sixth was meh. My seventh was shit. I forget about the ones after that. I really need to go back and rewrite them now that I have a bit more experience with writing in general, but the combination of my anxiety and low self esteem prevent me.
Just wait for the first person to come in and give it .5-1 stars. The voice of self-doubt and crushingly low self-esteem comes back with a vengeance.
Congrats! As someone who has never written novels, I cannot claim I completely understand your joy, but I imagine it must be somewhat similar to how I feel when my fav. novel gets [high ratings and recognition] x 100.
I know she does Does your mom love you too? Keep at it senpai. If you want critique or just an honest opinion, then give me PM Aw shit... Don't tell me about it. I know it will happen. It's like when your kids get a bad report card at school. You simply refuse to believe that it can be true. But then you should remember to come to terms with reality; you simply cannot cater to everyone.
My friend somehow found out about how I wrote my novel and visited the page just to give a 1-star rating. I snatched his NU account and delete all of his reading lists. Just rating is not enough, wait until someone reviews your novel and you'll know the true ecstasy. I discovered my sadistic tendency through writing so hope you unearth your inner self too!
*Puts a hand around your shoulder and while suspicious eyes darts all around* Whispers, "I've thought about it... But it never seemed like the... appropriate time."
My first story that i wrote was about a terminally illed boy who gave up on life. Yet was being supportive by a mute girl who one day gave him a bit of hope. In the end however was that he died and the mute girl started talking and thanking him. My teacher scolded me because we were supposed to write a happy story and i just told the reality of life. I felt bad since i tried my best to make a good story but ended up making my teacher cry. My first written novel was about a guy who was popular at everything but was bored of life, until he was introduce to the world of DOTA. Only a few were interested in it but because of my terrible writing skills that it wasn't that good and it was only basically copy pasting one of the girl's way of storytelling(she writes reverse harem and BL). My first online novel was about a guy who was hated by everyone in his village because he was a cursed child(dragon child which hybrid was a taboo, especially being born with a blood of a strongest species). He was in a guild and receuited a girl who he slowly fell in love. I was pretty nervous because my writing is bad, scared of bad reviews and was a bit anxious that it wasn't gonna be popular. Turns out that aftee 3 days, i only had 2-3 viewers and finally gave up on trying to impress others and decided to write what i like the most.
In year 9 (ages ago), I also wrote a story for my exam. My teacher scolded me for copying it off the internet somehow. She refused to believe that I wrote it myself because it contained a poem that made her cry. This is how you become a better author, I've heard. Don't get hung up on getting recognition (even though that's nice and can serve as motivation), just as you should get feedback, but in moderation. I've told myself not to be afraid to write what I want. After I'm done, I can garner some feedback, and if people don't complain about my grammar, pacing, setting, or characters, then I'll be over the moon. If they complain about the plot, then I'll listen to advice, but I may not change the storyline unless they have a very valid point (i.e., logical argument) or the like).
"So yup, I'm feeling good. I wanted to share my joy. So I wanted to brag. It might not be a big deal to you guys, but it's huge to me How'd you guys do, when you uploaded your novel?" I felt really proud and happy at how many readers were commenting and viewing my chapters. Even when I didn't feel like it, I forced myself to write, because my readers would be waiting for the update. But then, one day, I received a 0.5 star + a very harsh review. I was annihilated. After that, I only paid attention to the negative reviews/comments and started doubting myself. Thinking that what I was writing was shit. There were still readers that continued reading my first draft despite my complaints about the poor quality of my story. I finished the book and couldn't write anymore. I've spent so much time writing for others without realising it, I had been addicted to the instant gratification when people commented and gave me good reviews when they told me they liked it. So I kept giving them their daily dose, while also receiving one from them. It took me months to get over it, my self-confidence was low, I kept doubting myself. Wondering if writing was really for me. Now, I only write for myself. If people like what I write, I'm happy for them. If they hate it, I'm sorry for them. I take much more pleasure now that I don't have the apprehension when going to write, thinking if what I'm writing is good enough (for others). Another lesson I've learnt is: don't publish your draft!
Sadly I can never feel that joy I'm just too afraid the stories would be too much for the mortal world. *Sigh* Sometimes it's a punishment being too good. But I totally understand how my dear friend Midas felt like. Cherish your mediocrity for that is a boon in itself PS- just the mere thought of writing more than a page frightens me, it's talent to complete a full book, don't depend on your readers too much