Novel The Blind Wanderer

Discussion in 'Community Fictions' started by koddychi, Jan 2, 2017.

  1. koddychi

    koddychi [RPG slayer] [Great Sage] [Dao of Cuteness]

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    So as one of the promises i made for this New Year, I am going to post (and hopefully finish) a novel that has been in my mind for about like 5-7 months. I hope you do please enjoy and comment anything that you think that can be made better and/or something you dislike.

    The motivations I made this novel is thanks to the many cultivator novels that i read along the past year and made me think: what if i mix cultivation elements with fantasy elements (ranks/guilds/subjugation).

    I promise I'll try to post at least 1 chapter every Sunday.

    Synopsis: Even if he can't see, even if he can't be accepted by the world the way he was born, facing tribulations that would make one wish he was dead, he decides his own path. Not being shackled by the laws of the world and being rejected by the heavens, he who can't see walks a path no one can tread. The path of freedom.

    Genre: Action, Adventure, Fantasy, Violence, Mature, Tragedy (may change on further chapters).

    Table of Contents

     
    Last edited: Jan 22, 2017
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  2. koddychi

    koddychi [RPG slayer] [Great Sage] [Dao of Cuteness]

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    Chapter 1 – Birth of the Fateless One

    “Aaaaaaaaah” – were the woman’s scream that resounded to the whole floor.

    “Ok now breathe deeply” – said a middle aged man. He had short White hair but that didn’t make him any inch older. His green eyes were deeply filled with excitement and a hint of anxiousness, fearing that the woman would get hurt during childbirth.

    Yes, the woman who was screaming was giving birth to her child that was about to be born. Even though she was in pain and screaming out loud, she still holds on, hoping to give her child a safe birth. This act, simple, yet painful, occurs every day, in any location of the world.

    Emperors losing their empire in one night, beggars raising to power and ruling over countless citizens, nobles losing their life in wars but returning to their homes after years of their announced death, explaining that their lucky was great to have someone treat their injuries as severe as having an arrow pierce your heart. All this is the fate of men, a fate which is decided on birth.

    If fate is decided during birth, how can man change one’s own fate? There is only one answer, and that is changing their fate on their birth! The Heavens are fair and give equal chances to all man.

    When a child is born, he has nine seconds to decide his fate. During these nine seconds, from the moment a child leaves his mother’s womb, he has all the right in the world to change his fate. To give him years upon years of prosperity, to give him mere minutes of life, to give him endless torment and pain, these nine seconds are what Heavens decided to be man’s sole chance to change what they’ll live.

    “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah”

    “We’re almost there Elhild, one more deep breath and push with all you have!”

    In the critical moment of this childbirth, the closed door of the room was pushed open with a loud ‘bang’ and a worry-looking man rushed inside, wanting to run beside Elhild but is stopped by another man who is taller than him.

    “Fuck, leave me Thelmar, I’m gonna use healing spells on her! I can’t endure her screams, look at how much in pain she is!” – screams the man who rushed inside to Thelmar, the tall guy who stopped him.

    Thelmar had a head full of white hair and his face was that of a man in his middles 60s, but his tall body and clothes well fit in his muscles made him seem like a man in his early 40s.

    “Calm down Nielas, the process of childbirth is sacred and cannot be disturbed by magic. Heavens do not tolerate the interference of man on its domain and would surely punish the child that is coming. Do you want to let your kid be a retard on birth?” – With a calm face Thelmar said to Nielas who was being held back by him. He was not flustered in the slightest at the scene of the woman screaming out loud.

    “Fuck it dad! I can’t bear to see my wife in such pain!”

    “C’mon kiddo, let me tell you a secret. Back when your mother was giving birth to you I too was as anxious as you are now.”

    “Tsk.”

    “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah” – one more scream came out of the woman’s throat but this time it was louder than before.

    “I can see its head, push it!” – the middle aged man said out loud, this time his voice was shaking and it could be understood that it was the most critical phase of childbirth.

    “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah”

    “Whaaa~””Whaaa~” – came the cries of a baby who just came to this world.

    At this moment, is where everyone in the room frozen. Nielas’s mouth was gaping open, Thelmar was slowing nodding with a smile on his face, the middle aged man was holding a boy in his hands and the woman was crying and smiling. Everyone in the room knew what just happened. The boy was safely born.

    It is this moment that every living being is given its chance, a chance to change one’s own fate. No one can help this boy, who just came to the world, change his fate. Not his father, his grandfather or his mother. He can only rely on himself for that.

    Strangely, this boy didn’t utter a single sound after those two vigorous cries. His mouth curved into an innocent smile and his eyes, even closed just like any other newborn, made his expression one of that pure happiness. But his hands were outstretched. He seemingly tried to grab something which was just in front of him. The moment his hands closed, it was like he was trying to pull guitar strings to the point of it starting to split apart.

    The moment one is born, Heavens give one chance for one to change his own fate. The moment every living being is born, he is given nine seconds to touch that line which connects him to all the fate of the universe. Whenever a newborn touches that line, his fate is altered. As for how much it changed, depended on how long one could remain touched to that single line which connected him to all the other beings in the universe.

    But that kid was different. The moment he touched his fate, it was like Heaven cracked open and earth was split apart. Earthquake started to surge and the sky grew dim. The act of pulling his own fate towards himself made it seem like he was challenging the rules which were set upon the universe.

    Heavens are just, yes, but heavens too have its own wrath. Destiny was solely for it to have. Those who messed with others or their own fate (after the nine seconds granted) were destined to have the end of their roads a miserable one, not having even the chance to possibly reincarnate. So why did the Heavens shown such anger towards this newborn, which doesn’t have a shred of awareness?

    Fate is property of the universe, which is a rule to be forever changeless. This kid, whom doesn’t have awareness of his own actions, from this day forth, touched the most sacred place in existence in order to change his own fate. To forever be in control of his own fate.
     
    Last edited: Jan 8, 2017
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  3. Wiger98

    Wiger98 Custom title

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    Well this is really good minor grammatical errors,but a sound plot with lots of room for growth
    Look forward to what you have in store.
     
  4. Zariox

    Zariox 『Professional Wordmaster of Bullshit』『Alien Lv79』

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    -watching
     
  5. Jruzz09

    Jruzz09 Well-Known Member

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    Just one suggestion: FLYIIING DAGGEEEERRS! Well, a suggestion. Not an order or a decree or anything. It's start is very fresh and nice. You just gave me another original while I just finished one. :)
    Luck*
    Heavens do not*
     
  6. Ishmael

    Ishmael 『Owl』『Butler』『Traveler』

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    Just finish reading, it´s good I´m gonna put it on hold and wait for more chaps and Binge! XD
     
  7. NZPIEFACE

    NZPIEFACE Leecher

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    The redundancy is beautiful.
     
  8. koddychi

    koddychi [RPG slayer] [Great Sage] [Dao of Cuteness]

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    Chapter 2 – Slaughter

    “Wh-what’s happening?” – said the middle-aged man, using his arms to cover the newborn.

    “An earthquake?! Damn it, everyone stay where you are, I’ll use a barrier formation.” – Nielas hurriedly shouted to everyone present in the room. Currently, buildings up to this date still can’t survive the tremendous force an earthquake can bring.

    Without delay, on both of Nielas hands, complex formations appeared out of thin air, they started to expand and, in the blink of an eye, covered the whole room, ensuring to protect those within.

    Thelmar hurriedly ran to Elhild’s side in order to protect her, as she was extremely frail due to just having undergone childbirth, without an ounce of strength left.

    Earthquakes were mighty yet their duration was little. After 20 seconds, the tremors ceased but left devastation in such a short time. During these short 20 seconds, the building they were on showed signs of collapsing, the windows were all shattered, and what left them astonished was that the earth split apart just right beside their building.

    “Damn! Everyone let’s hurry up and leave this place immediately, the building will be collapsing in a few minutes. Dad, take Elhild and Lesym as I maintain the barrier.” – Hurriedly shouted Nielas.

    “Got it, try to hold on a little longer. Lesym, take care of my grandson and don’t let him go no matter what. I’m going to set up a short duration array to reinforce our agility so we can leave at once.”

    “Ok.”

    On Thelmar's hands, different formations started to appear but they were clearly fewer and smaller when compared to Nielas. In the blink of an eye, everyone felt a warmth run through their bodies and felt it lighten, clearly showing that Thelmar's magic was successful.

    “Ready? We’re leaving now!”

    As Thelmar finished his spell, he looked through the window and tried to see if there was any chance for them to leave the building by jumping to the outside. But after seeing that the earth beneath their window was showing signs of collapsing, Thelmar silently cursed and grabbed both Elhild and Lesym, hurrying to the door.

    Rushing through the door, the four of them rushed to the stairs, making sure to warn everyone they encountered to hurriedly leave the building. Getting to the first floor, they rushed in to the entrance and couldn’t help but stop on their tracks.

    20 seconds. Such a short time yet such massive destruction. The area around them was filled with cracked earth and the sky was dim. The buildings nearby were all showing signs of collapse and countless number of people were running around, grabbing the children, their possession and anything they could in order to escape this scene of disaster.

    “The damage caused is far worse than I thought. Let’s hurry back home and grab a few necessary things. Hopefully the house is still intact.” – said Thelmar, measuring the damage caused by the earthquake.

    While they were running, Lesym handed the baby to Nielas and went to his home to grab other necessities they would need for their departure of this city.

    When they neared their house, they heard faint sounds of metal clashing, screams and glass breaking. If it were the normal days they wouldn’t pay attention at first, guessing it was a house fight and only let it by, but this was after a violent earthquake so they couldn’t help but rush towards their place.

    Arriving at their house, they saw bodies of the neighbors and some knights nearby their house. They also saw some beasts that looked like 2-headed dogs and bat-like birds with 3 sets of wings.

    Seeing this, Thelmar breathed cold air as he stared at the scenery, face filled with disbelief: “H-how did this happen?! It is impossible for beasts to invade the city. What happened to the protective formation?! And how did these beasts get in here this fast!!”

    Nielas standing by his side couldn’t help but stare at the scenery: “It seems the formation was damaged or even destroyed by the earthquake but how could these beasts get in here this fast? We live in the centermost area of the city they shouldn’t have arrived this fast without causing a ruckus.”

    Elhild was weakly leaning on Thelmar but she was still conscious as she glanced at the neighborhood and couldn’t help but ask: “Why are there only beasts on our house? Why aren’t there any on the other ones?”

    Hearing her question, the others too glanced at the neighborhood and they too were filled with questions but couldn’t get any clue as to why. Shaking his head, Thelmar hurried Nielas to go inside the house and could still hear faint sounds of beasts howling and metal clashing.

    “Someone’s still alive? Let’s hurry we gotta rescue them!” – said Nielas while he was about to rush inside the house but was stopped by Thelmar and he gave him a glance at his grandson: “Don’t be in a rush son. Set up a protective array around yourself, carry Elhild and let her carry my grandson. We can’t risk this baby so I’ll rush and see the situation inside. Go inside a neighbor’s house that’s not too damaged and check the surroundings.”

    “Got it.” – Nielas pondered over the situation and choose to follow his father’s orders, hurrying to a house and setting up a protective array on the nearby area.

    “Such an impulsive kid” – shaking his head, Thelmar hurried inside to try to find any survivors and get them out alive.

    Inside the house it couldn’t be considered any different than a slaughterhouse. The floor was filled with numerous corpses of servants, maids and a few promising disciples, ranging from all ages. Some knight corpses could be seen too but it wasn’t as large as the servants. A few beasts were scattered around and some still were living as blood dripped from their wounds. The scent of blood was so thick it would make a normal person faint but Thelmar only frowned.

    “It is worse than I thought. Not a single one was spared. Why did this happen?” – Feeling faintly furious, he quickly glanced at the surroundings before rushing to the second and third floors. There, not even beasts could be seen as corpses of the residents were scattered everywhere.

    Focusing his earing to try to search for residents, he listened to a faint breathing not much distant from the stairs to the third floor and followed that faint breath. Reaching the back of the stairs, he could see a middle-aged woman dressed in golden maid clothes lying on the floor with a deep scar on her waist and several knight and disciple-clothing people nearby her.

    “Helia! Helia!” – Thelmar panicked as he saw Helia – the head maid – one of his most trustred friends in his life.

    Her eyes trembled gently and slowly opened them. She gazed at Thelmar and couldn’t help but show a smile and say: “Y-you must t-take care of h-her. She went t-to the backyard. Be c-cautious, there’s a s-strong monster that can threaten even y-you.” with this she closed her eyes and her breath slowly weakened until it stopped.

    Looking at Helia and her smile, his eyes became red and tears came out, but he didn’t mutter a single sound. He took a deep breath and with a cold gaze rushed towards the backyard.
     
    Last edited: Jan 9, 2017
  9. koddychi

    koddychi [RPG slayer] [Great Sage] [Dao of Cuteness]

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    btw do point any mistakes you find in the novel as this helps me improve my english and increases its quality
     
  10. Jruzz09

    Jruzz09 Well-Known Member

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    We need flying daggers for better quality. This is a joke. But, continue the awesome work.
     
  11. Jruzz09

    Jruzz09 Well-Known Member

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    Thelmar's hands
    Thelmar's magic
    Why did* this happen*? Or happened, I'm confused.
    that can threaten* even y-you
    Uhhm, I don't think glaring is appropriate for the situation. I suggest staring or looking. Huehue. That's all, I guess.
     
  12. koddychi

    koddychi [RPG slayer] [Great Sage] [Dao of Cuteness]

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    thanks all fixed (but i doubt some too... these mistakes i really dont remember committing them)
     
  13. Jruzz09

    Jruzz09 Well-Known Member

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    No problem. Will be waiting though.
     
  14. SimpleDao

    SimpleDao Active Member

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    Good novel. *SimpleDao approves the novel nodding his head and adds it to his reading list spreadsheet*.

    Now, don't tell me you weren't inspired by ISSTH for this. Opposing the heavens? Sounds fammiliar! Anyways, ISSTH was good, so I hope this one will also be good.

    I like the whole "fate" thingy. Would be cool if you injected fate/luck and other such things into your cultivation methods. That's the novels I like the most. Novels there instead of swords and flying daggers we have time/fate/void/luck/space/spacetime/dreams etc.
     
  15. koddychi

    koddychi [RPG slayer] [Great Sage] [Dao of Cuteness]

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    For those reading this novel the 3rd chapter will be late this week (probably Wednesday) cause some parents are visiting and i'm like in charge of showing things to them.
     
  16. koddychi

    koddychi [RPG slayer] [Great Sage] [Dao of Cuteness]

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    Chapter 3 – Unknown beasts

    “Do you think he’ll be ok?” – asked Elhild. She was lying down on the couch while holding her baby.

    “Of course, to find someone as strong as my dad is impossible in this town and the beasts that surround it (the town) are fairly weak, most are at the earthly level of power and the few heavenly level ones don’t leave their territory.” – said Nielas while looking through the windows. Even as he said that worry was clearly written all over his face.

    “Then why are you worried?”

    “Because these beasts are not native from here, nor should have they appeared nearby.”

    “What? How can you know?”

    “Because they came way too quick. Even if the barrier surrounding the city was destroyed by the earthquake, it should take a while for the beasts to appear inside the city, and so close to our house. Did you notice that the beasts are only in the vicinity of our house? The other places should have been swarmed earlier but if you notice it they are only near our house.”

    As Nielas said that, his voice hinted suspicion and he was looking more frequently through the windows, as if waiting for someone.

    Elhild considered this and her face rapidly changed. She said “If that is so, then Lesym…”

    “It should be possible that the beasts aren’t near Lesym’s house. It is still a little far from our own but he doesn’t know that our house was attacked nor he knows where we are hiding.” - Nielas face changed as he pondered over the matter. He looked at Elhild and said: “I’m going to leave a mark nearby. I don’t know how intelligent these beasts are but it is good to take precautions. If Lesym shows nearby I’ll go over to him and bring him in.”

    “Ok. Don’t worry about us and go quickly. If they are earthly level I can still hold on a little.”

    “In that case I’ll put a remote barrier and concealing formation. It should hold about the time I can come back.”

    Nielas hands flashed with bright colors as numerous arrays flashed and fixed in various locations around the house. A translucent barrier was formed and his hands flashed again. This time, the house and the barrier gently shook as they slowly faded, turning invisible.

    Nielas was panting as he cast two consecutive formations, shook his head to clear it and rushed towards the houses nearby.

    -------------------------

    Reaching the backyard, Thelmar eyes trembled and his body shook at the sight. Countless corpses of servants and disciples were scattered on the ground. The blood painted the ground with red and cries rang out everywhere.

    Looking more ahead, Thelmar saw a group of 2-headed beasts rushing towards a small shelter. The shelter was full of scratch marks and the door was heavily damaged. A few cries of help could be heard from within it and Thelmar rushed over to help.

    When Thelmar got close, he extended his hands towards the beasts and numerous arrays shot out towards the beasts. They hovered above their heads and when a beast noticed what was above its head, the last thing it heard was Thelmar’s cold voice: “Fade”.

    As soon as his voice faded, the arrays transmitted crackling sounds and their light intensified. Next, rays of light shot out of it and all the nearby beasts gave agonized cries as their bodies slowly faded as if they were dust in the wind.

    Thelmar approached the shelter and shouted: “Hey! Is anybody in there? Open the door it’s me, Thelmar.”

    A person inside heard Thelmar’s voice and shouted with delight: “Head, sir, we can’t open the door. The beasts damaged the door badly and the shelter’s underground is already full, only a few knights and powerful disciples are with me outside it. Damage the wall on the other side together with us so we can have a small opening.”

    “Ok, come to the east wall, it’s already badly damaged so it should be easier to break. Is Waldu inside?”

    The person inside was about to rush to the wall when he heard Thelmar’s question. His voice was full of sadness and he said: “S-sir, the vice-headmaster held a powerful monster outside the shelter so we could arrive in here. H-he already went for almost 30 minutes, I believe he’s…” not even finished speaking, he heard Thelmar’s angry voice: “WHAT?! It’s impossible for Waldu to not be inside! I didn’t see him anywhere! Tell me, where he was holding the beast, now!”

    The knight hearing this hesitated for a moment before weakly replying: “Sir, h-he held the beast at the Clan’s entrance. If you didn’t found him then I believe…”

    “Shut up! Hurry and come to the wall!” – Thelmar was burning with anger and hatred. Waldu was his sworn brother and they knew each other for more than 30 years. Helia’s death already made his emotions stir and not knowing how Waldu was doing only deepened his feelings towards these beasts.

    A few seconds later the walls of the shelter were destroyed and the people inside let out shouts of delight. Seeing their Clan Head doing fine gave them a sense of safety.

    “Get everyone out of the underground. We need to leave the city immediately! And bring the guy who was talking to me right now, I want to question him!” – said Thelmar as he swept through the crowd of people coming out of the shelter. His eyes widened and his body trembled as he saw many disciples injured and a few with injuries so heavy they needed to be carefully carried as to not let their arm or legs fall from their bodies.

    “S-sir, it was me who you were talking to.” A knight said weakly as he was holding his head down. He didn’t have the courage to face the Clan Head face to face at this moment.

    “Tell me, what kind of monster did Waldu face that he didn’t return to rescue you?” – Thelmar was anxious, being the Clan Head and not knowing the situation left him fearing the worst.

    “I-I don’t know sir. When the monster first appeared, he was covered in black smoke and we couldn’t see its features. Moreover when the vice saw him, his face changed and he quickly told us to go to the shelter and rush to the underground. He said he was going to escort madam Helia to us after he dealt with the beast and attracted it away from us.”

    Hearing the knight mention that Waldu was going to escort Helia, his mind went blank as he remembered Helia and her last words. His body was shaking violently and tears began falling from his eyes. He already deduced the situation. Waldu was probably fighting the monster and lost the battle, or he was too busy with the monster and let a few 2-headed beasts slip and rush towards Helia.

    As Thelmar was crying, the knight figured out something and slowly backed away, shaking his head.

    At this moment, Thelmar felt someone hugging him on the back and turned to see a little girl wearing golden maid clothes. She had light brown hair and light brown skin. Her dark green eyes were red and she was sobbing.

    When Thelmar saw her face, he couldn’t help but cry while hugging the little girl in his arms and said: “I’m sorry Nina, I-I couldn’t protect her.”

    Nina, Helia’s daughter, hearing Thelmar words, guessed the situation and cried in his arms. She weakly asked: “Uncle, p-papa, where’s he? He should have been with mom but…”

    “I don’t know. First we’ll reunite with my son and his wife then left the city immediately. It’s too dangerous now and…”

    Before he finished speaking, a deep roar echoed through the backyard that left everyone, including Thelmar, feeling fear. It was a kind of roar that made even the soul of an ordinary person trembling with fear. Hopefully everyone gathered was not an ordinary person.

    Thelmar, hearing this roar, took in a deep breath and shouted: “Everyone, my son and his wife are in the Bene’s house just across the street a few meters away. Meet with him and leave the city immediately.”

    Everyone was still shaken by the roar but listening to the words of the Clan Head, they felt their minds clearing as if his words were spoken by the Heavens. The knight that left Thelmar rushed to his side said to him: “Head! Head! This roar, it should be from the monster that sir Vice Headmaster battled. He…”

    “I know. You too hurry up and meet with my son.”

    Thelmar turned to Nina, patted her head and softly said: “Tell my kid to take care of his son.”

    “Uncle! Uncle please don’t leave! If you go then I’ll be left without mama, papa and…” – cried Nina. Even if she was properly cultivated by the family she was after all a little kid.

    “No need to hurry about uncle, Nina. To be honest you too need to take care of that little brother of yours who just born. Otherwise my son would make him as impulsive as us.”

    He signaled to the knight and the knight took Nina forcefully from Thelmar’s embrace and hurried to the outside with the others. Hearing Nina’s shout, Thelmar glanced one more time at her and turned to the west.

    From there, he could see a mass of pitch black smoke near 5 meters tall standing still on the walls of the backyard. From that black smoke, he could see 3 pair of eyes staring at him, maintaining a vigilant look at him.

    When that black smoke strode a little forward, he could see an arm drop by its side dripping fresh blood.

    Thelmar saw this and his eyes narrowed as numerous arrays flickered around all his body and he coldly said: “So it you who caused her death…”
     
  17. koddychi

    koddychi [RPG slayer] [Great Sage] [Dao of Cuteness]

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    Dunno how to face you readers but i'll try to fit this week and an apology chapter in a few hours
    Enjoy the read

    PS: any mistakes feel free to point them
     
  18. koddychi

    koddychi [RPG slayer] [Great Sage] [Dao of Cuteness]

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    I'm sorry but no chapter today
    but i'll post it in a later date