Short Story The Forum ( 2nd Place In the Unofficial NU'S 2ND Anniversary Contest)

Discussion in 'Community Creations' started by jzar, Jul 24, 2017.

  1. jzar

    jzar Well-Known Member

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    I would really like to hear any and all comments. Good and bad.

    thanks,

    @jzar :)

    The Forum




    No Meat Friday liked things to be simple and practical.

    What No Meat Friday didn’t like was his current life, which was a sort of daily torture. He worked at the Spin Turn Recycles Warehouse Factory run by the local university. He had started attending the university and had gotten a job at the recycle center part time.

    He had some issues with money and so had to drop out of taking classes for this year and and switched over to full time work. No Meat Friday was planning to save up money for school, then go back to school full time next year.

    It was a simple and practical plan.

    The issue with the plan was that No Meat Friday had somehow ended up always having to do the worst job at the Spin Turn Recycles Warehouse Factory. At twenty-two he was no old man but the factory was full of rich eighteen year old college kids whose parents had a great deal of influence with this university owned business.

    At work No Meat Friday was the odd man out.

    He had no rich parents and no connections with the university. He was just a plain student with no background at all. The others were full time college students that worked at best part time, they took all the easy work and since they were bored took a lot of time to make fun of the ‘old’ guy.

    Since No Meat Friday seemed a bit slow to the other students and thus was an easy target to abuse.

    He didn't mind that so much, what No Meat Friday hated was the fact that he was always the one made to dump and clean out the giant filter bin for the paper masher machine. This could sometimes take many hours.

    The work though not hard was however rather nasty.

    The recycling machine known as ‘the masher’ was feed old paper and it would mash this old paper into a pulp which was then used to create new paper. Some of the old paper couldn’t be mashed and those bits would end up in the filter bin. The worst part of the filter bin was the unusable leftover goo which had to removed from the filter and then thrown away.

    It smelled like rotting toads in the hot sun.

    You also ended up smelling like this goo since no matter how careful you were some always got on you and stayed with you all day long.

    Saying it was unpleasant was a huge understatement. It reeked and left you feeling like you had just run a marathon through the sewers.

    So life was a daily miserable experience for No Meat Friday until he had discovered the Wuxia stories online.


    -----


    No Meat Friday now had a way to leave behind his daily grind and find an escape using the deep and exciting world of Wuxia online novels.

    Having a story to read No Meat Friday would rush home every night to his small empty apartment then log on to Novel Updates to read the latest release from the translator.

    No Meat Friday’s first story was, ‘Sovereign World Demon Dementia’. The Hero of this online tale had the memories of his past life to guide him, he would met all problems with a smile and take out enemies like a bowling ball takes out the pins.

    This online Hero could verbally spar like the devil on fire.

    It was just too easy for the Hero to out-talk both the young snots and the sect’s ancient powerful seniors who tried to suppress him.

    No Meat Friday, who was so quiet that some thought him to be mute admired a talkative quality in a main character. He thought this was the best story he'd ever read.

    After finishing ‘Sovereign World Demon Dementia’ No Meat Friday was desperate for more. As an addict he was very dedicated in his search of the next Wuxia stories to fill his desperate need.

    This was why No Meat Friday loved the Novel Updates site, it made it very easy to find plenty of material to follow daily. The Novel Updates website was No Meat Friday’s constant companion. Always logged in at home and in constant contact via his mobile phone.

    He would sometimes sneak away from work and find a quiet corner to go read the latest release. This made No Meat Friday’s work day pass in a heartbeat.

    He even stopped noticing the smell.

    His latest favorite online novel was a brand new story called, ‘Little Miss; Baby Faced Physician’ by an upcoming author using the byline ‘Oak Leaf Falls’.

    This story centered around a young female physician . She was cold but had a warm heart. This Little Miss took on all challenges with clever plots and many amusing twist of fate. It was a wonderful story and No Meat Friday was in love with this world and it’s heroine. No Meat Friday was very excited about the new story, he couldn’t wait to get home and read the next chapter.

    That night he noticed a post on the forums of Novel Updates [NU]. The title of the post was;

    ‘‘Little Miss; Baby Faced Physician’ is Awful. ‘

    Awful !?
    Outrageous!
    Unbelievable!

    The idea of someone bashing the story dear to his heart made No Meat Friday tremble. Sweat beaded on his forehead like a hundred tiny crawling ants. He felt like someone had just walked over his child.

    No Meat Friday clicked on the link and started to read...

    'Little Miss; Baby Faced Physician’ is Awful.'

    You’ll want to avoid this one. Too short for one, also too hard to read. No real plot just a never ending mishmash of why the main female is better and smarter than everyone else. Just a bad formula type of writing. Missing this one will give you time to read the good stuff.

    -terrible tuesday

    No Meat Friday looked at the name of the poster. Underneath Terrible Tuesday’s name was a large animating pink snail that slowly crawled off the screen leaving behind a snail trail of hearts.

    Double Ugh.

    Seeing the animating snail made No Meat Friday feel like smashing that cute pink snail with a large hammer. He had nothing against snails, right now he just hated everything that had anything to do with the Terrible Tuesday.

    Terrible Tuesday had crossed No Meat Friday’s bottom line.

    No Meat Friday began to see red, war drums started pounding inside his head with a heavy thud thud thud. He began to type, his fingers matching the beat of the war drums without him noticing.


    terrible tuesday,

    I don’t think you’ve given LMBFP a very fair reporting. It’s a wonderful story full of humor and drama. It draws in the reader into a wonderful and clever world of a young heroine who overcomes great oppression to win against all the odds. You really need to read it again.’

    -no meat friday


    No Meat Friday felt amazingly better after writing those words. After a while he noticed an email. He had a response to his posted reply. He clicked on the link.


    no meat friday,

    Are you an idiot? I already said I read it and it was awful. I’m not surprised you thought it was good as your reading comprehension is clearly sub par. You should read it again, this time wear your glasses.’

    -terrible tuesday


    No Meat Friday read this reply twice.

    He wanted to be sure he hadn’t mis-read anything. While he could read very well he had a great deal of worries about getting things wrong.


    terrible tuesday,

    I’m an idiot? I don’t even wear glasses, so who’s the idiot? I think it’s pretty clear. I only wanted you to give it another chance, instead you lash out at me.

    Wait, never mind...

    Please don’t re-read the story. I’m happier knowing that I don’t have to share this wonderful tale with a person like you!

    -no meat friday


    With this reply No Meat Friday was feeling not just better, he felt like he was a king of the world. He felt like an army that had crossed the alps with elephants and trampled his enemy with big bloody boots.

    The next day he had more email from Novel Updates with more replies from Terrible Tuesday. He was almost singing with joy as he typed out his reply full of passionate punctuation's. No Meat Friday was feeling better than he had in months.


    -----

    The Alien Blob had been stuck in the warehouse since July 3rd, 1947, which was a Thursday. The Alien Blob hated Thursdays, it could never seem to get the hang of them.

    This Alien Blob had only wanted to get out of the hot sun and had slipped into a nearby open warehouse doorway and headed to the deepest darkest corner it could find. The alien blob’s saucer space ship had wrecked in the desert. The blob had only enough strength to reach this warehouse and so it had decided to stay in the warehouse until it had recovered.

    Years went by. A lot of years, the blob stayed, it ate old newspapers which while keeping it alive didn’t allow for enough energy for it to try to leave. However, the real truth was that the Alien Blob was very depressed.

    For the Alien Blob it was as if every day had now become a Thursday.

    One day a local college Professor was looking for a few reams of paper in the university warehouse when he stumbled upon the Alien Blob in a dusty dark corner. Of course the Professor didn’t see it as an Alien Blob but rather he only perceived that it was a simple organic blob of a some kind. The Professor utterly failed to see it as a higher lifeform.

    This was not his fault. Alien blobs are just not something humans are able to recognize. Doubly so for Alien blobs from outer space. It’s not something humans have to deal with on a daily basis.

    Alien Blob's from outer space just don't register on the human perception filter.

    However, the Professor did note how the stacks of paper around the blob had been eaten. The Professor also noted the there was a residue of sticky goo created by the organic blob from eating the paper.

    Taking a close look the Professor could tell that the residue of sticky goo was perfect for making new paper.

    This sticky goo only needed a filter to get rid of the odd chunky bits and it would then become the perfect material to create new crisp white paper. The smell was much like a dead toad on a hot day but the Professor didn’t take the smell to heart. The Professor made plans.

    The Professor convinced his school to open a recycle shop. They placed the Alien Blob into a big metal box they called the masher. They feed the Alien Blob with old paper, the Blob would then process the eaten old paper turning out the sticky goo that made the finest new paper. It sold quite well. They just had to dump out the filter once or twice a day to get rid of the odd chunky bits. It was very successful.

    No Meat Friday was the low man on the totem poll at Turn Spin Recycle Warehouse. Thus he was the one always assigned the nasty task of having to dump the reeking unusable odd chunky bits. It was almost impossible to avoid getting some this sticky goo on your clothes and other workers would make comments about how bad No Meat Friday smelled.

    The other part time employees wouldn’t let No Meat Friday eat in the cafeteria claiming the stink made the food taste awful.

    So it ended up that No Meat Friday was forced to eat in the basement, with only the cobwebs for company.


    -----


    The Alien Blob had a name, which it didn’t like. Since It had ended up on the small dirty blue planet it had adopted much of small dirty blue planet's culture. It had then picked out a new name from this adopted culture.

    The name this blob decided on was Marvin.

    The only reason Marvin was still sane after all these years stuck inside this metal masher box on a small dirty blue planet was that he had been able to go online and find stories to read.

    These stories kept him from going insane.

    These stories were of course Wuxia stories. Marvin was also a registered user of Novel Updates. He was the oldest member online.

    Getting online was easy after the Turn Spin Recycle Warehouse Company added in a computer workstation to help run the masher unit. Marvin just co-opted a few items and used the work station built into the masher. A few twist and turns with a few tiny blob tentacles left Marvin with full admin control.

    Stories from Wuxia quickly became Marvin’s only pleasure in life. He lived on Novel Updates by necessity since he was following 200 plus stories. Marvin even started to post in the Novel Update forums.

    This made Marvin very happy. Marvin even found Thursday were a bit easier to deal with. After a while simple posting and reading stories didn’t hold enough interest for an Alien Blob’s over active brain.

    Marvin started to write his own Wuxia stories. He wrote in Chinese under the author byline ‘Oak Leaf Falls.’ His first story was not great but gathered enough interest to allow him to do a second story. This new story was gathering quite a lot of attention. The story even had a translator working on posting this novel in English. It had also just gotten a review posted on the forums of Novel Updates by Terrible Tuesday.


    -----


    Missy Sanders worked the night shift at Holden’s Food and Service warehouse. It was a restaurant supply company that supplied restaurants with bulk food supplies around the country. Missy took the night orders and packed the boxes that would be shipped out the next day. It was a long shift and tedious work but the pay was good. So when Missy got back to her apartment she would sleep for a few hours then get up, eat and go online.

    It was the bright spot of her rather dull life.

    She had recently found a site called Novel Updates which linked the kind of stories she liked to read. She even read the forums and started to participate. Missy was a bit lonely and soon found herself posting more and more in the forums.

    Missy Sanders had a very determined outlook on life and didn’t like to change her mind once she’d decided on something. She also didn’t mind saying so clearly and precisely. Missy had often felt the call to be a writer, yet somehow the stories she wrote were never very good. She did write well but it never turned out the way she thought it should.

    Still she enjoyed a good long debate online as that gave her a chance to feel she was writing something and connecting with other people.

    Missy had read the latest story,’ ‘Little Miss; Baby Faced Physician’’ by Oak Leaf Falls.

    Missy had wanted to like it. However the more Missy read the more she found she just couldn’t go on with it. In fact, Missy thought it was an awful story.

    Missy wanted to let other readers avoid her painful experience so she made a post in the Novel Updates forum. She quickly got a reply which she looked forward to reading. Missy was thinking that perhaps this reply would praise her and give thanks, or perhaps they might just say they too couldn’t read such a terrible story. Missy clicked on the link.

    The reply was not what Missy expected. There was no praise, no kindred soul wanting to talk about the awful story. The reply to Missy’s well intentioned posting was some bozo clearly wanting to troll her. Who was this blithering fool?, Missy looked at the name of this jerk. No Meat Friday it read.

    “No Meat Friday?”

    “What kind of weird name is that? Sounds more a church rule than a name.”

    Missy was very clear about what made a good story. It was also very clear to Missy that this ‘No Meat Friday’ was completely clueless.

    Missy was quite ready to type out a small novel if that was what it would take in order to teach Mr. No Meat Friday what made a good story and why ‘Little Miss: Baby Face Physician’ was awful. Missy was very determined about the standards of right and wrong.

    Missy couldn’t help it that she was right.


    -----


    Arthur ‘Scowly’ Rode didn’t wear a scowl on his face. Most days Arthur’s face wore a look of slight confusion, nowhere near a scowl.

    Clear orders and firm decisions never came from Arthur, so the young college kids that worked for him, walked right over him with big muddy boots and didn’t even say ‘sorry’.

    Mostly the college kids didn’t care or even give much attention to Arthur even though he was the manager of Turn Spin Recycles Warehouse Company.

    This was of course very frustrating for Arthur. Arthur didn’t dare say anything rude or become too angry sounding, even a firm tone was a stretch for Arthur. Any one of these college kids could put a word in with the Dean of the college and Arthur would be out of a job. Arthur didn’t dare risk that. He had a family to support.

    So ordering around the lowest full time employee was Arthur’s way to vent his frustrations. It gave Arthur no end of pleasure to see that quiet kid hauling out the stinking waste filter on the mauler and having him end up looking like dogs vomit from the over spill.

    Arthur even had this kid clean out the filter when it wasn’t necessary just to make himself feel better.

    The other thing Arthur had for pleasure was lurking about online and posting on forums.

    Arthur delighted in creating huge postings full of outrage. Arthur would feel important when he got such attention and happily continue to fan the flames of anger for as long as possible.

    Arthur’s latest joy was a site called Novel Updates. It was a popular site and the many users of it posted in the forums with a lot of happy passions. This was an easy place to get a reaction from and Arthur felt he had struck gold after accidentally finding such an easy site to troll on.

    Arthur even ended up reading some of the linked translated Wuxia stories in order to find subjects he could troll about. Nothing was better than finding a popular novel and then pointing out every small fault he could find or invent about the story.

    One of the oldest and most active moderator from Novel Updates, @AlmostTony, would often send him warnings but Arthur didn’t care. Arthur would just create a new account and as he only posted from an internet cafe he had plenty of IP’s to use.

    Currently Arthur was reading a story called ‘‘Little Miss; Baby Faced Physician’‘ by ‘Oak Leaf Falls.’ It was a new online novel and Arthur had been attracted by the odd title.

    As Arthur read he found himself surprisingly drawn into the female lead of the Wuxia story.

    The young female lead had many problems that Arthur felt he also experienced in his daily life.

    The young girl heroine of the story had to go through many heartbreaking life experiences which centered on the fact that she was being ignored by the people around her. They would laugh at her and make nasty snide remarks about how much of a loser she was and some would even treat her like a slave to be ordered around.

    Even though the ‘Little Miss’, was supposed to be in charge, the young nobles that surrounded her just walked over her. The young nobles had the ear of the King and could easily make trouble for ‘Little Miss’ causing her to end up married to the old minister or worse.

    Little Miss would find clever ways to use her deep knowledge of medicine causing each and every snot nosed young noble to end up looking like fools. The more Arthur read the more he was captured by the drama of overcoming what Arthur could never achieve in his everyday life.

    This was the first story Arthur had ever read that made him feel like this.

    This made Arthur fall in love with the character Little Miss of the Wuxia story 'Little Miss; Baby Faced Physician.’

    When Arthur found a post on Novel Updates with the title ‘‘Little Miss; Baby Faced Physician’ is awful.’ Arthur was drawn in like an angry hornet that was looking to sting.


    Terrible Tuesday,

    You frozen slab of rancid bacon backsides. You dare to call yourself a reader? Not only do you fail, you fail in a way that even a six year would be hard pressed to match. Your failure is of such epic proportions that mere words fail to describe the epicness of your failure. There are small floating turds lost in great oceans that can easily understand the genius of ‘Little Miss; Baby Faced Physician’ better than you have.

    I hope my words of reason will persuade you to abandon your current negative stance and that you will retract and apologize to all of the many fans of ‘Little Miss; Baby Faced Physician’ for your spurious statements.

    -lord a rode

    ‘Lord A Rode’ was Arthur’s current online account. Feeling he had done a good job he logged off.

    Missy had to reply.


    Lord A hole,

    Failure is only a dirty little label that you have chosen to use without any resemblance to the real world. In your clearly nearly empty small mind I suppose it’s the best you could do.
    Since you have only made statements of opinion and not of fact. Let me enlighten your opinion with the light saving grace of fact...

    1. This story is posted daily with a chapter that has at best three or four paragraphs.

    2. Calling a paragraph a chapter is a deep insult to Wuxia readers.

    3.Compounding this crime the author post one or two of these hideously short ‘chapters’ on a daily basis, claiming that this makes up for the short style of the so called chapter.

    4. The storyline of a genius young doctor is so heavy handed with author driven plot holes that it becomes less of a story and more of a joke.

    -terrible tuesday



    -----


    These forum debate over ‘Little Miss; Baby Faced Physician’ soon attracted the attention of the thousands of readers of the Novel Updates Forum. It rapidly took over first place in hot topics. Other sites too began to link to the postings there and soon it had over a hundred thousand readers. These links and readers were creating unusual demand on the servers for Novel Updates

    This immense amount of activity caused the server to send out an email warnings to the IT admin. Activity like this was early signs of having a site be attacked.

    The admin main moderator of Novel Updates went by the online name of AlmostTony, [@almostTony], he never went by AT, those who called him ‘AT” would quickly find he became very unresponsive.

    AlmostTony was sitting in a cafe when he started seeing the Novel Updates website alerts. The numbers were spinning upward in a very alarming fashion. AlmostTony didn’t have access to the admin account from his laptop and getting to the main account computer personally would take some time.

    AlmostTony was a bit worried but he figured that not much could really happen in the few hours it would take him use an auto car to reach the main server location.



    -----



    Marvin was from the planet Qud.

    They were the Qud race. Their Planet was called Qud. Their galaxy was called Qud.

    This is typical Qudian behavior. Names were sort of tricky for Qudian’s, they just didn’t like to use too many.

    Each and every single one of the Qudian’s were named... Qud. It was a bit confusing as you might imagine. This was why Marvin had decided to change it’s name. Well that, plus Marvin didn’t like the way Qud sounded.

    The Qudian’s had finally sent out a space force to bring back Marvin.

    Marvin’s family on the home world of Qud was somewhat important. Marvin’s family had enough pull to make the Qud military get out and track down Marvin. The Qud Military then found him on a small dirty blue planet. This had taken a long time. Which made the Qud Military very unhappy.

    The Qud knew Marvin was on the small dirty blue planet but not exactly where. They didn’t want to waste anymore time and so made a decision that was easy and would get them back home sooner.

    The Qudian’s hated space travel.



    -----



    Marvin was currently focused on reading the current debate on the Novel Updates forum. He was of course following the ‘Little Miss; Baby Faced Physician’ is Awful’ thread.

    At first Marvin was happy to just seeing that people were interested in his work.

    After a while this pleasure began to pale. The postings were getting seriously long and hateful. Pointless too is what Marvin thought.

    Marvin didn’t want people to fight about his work, he just wanted them to enjoy it. The bitter and angry feelings on display were making Marvin feel terrible. It was like all the pleasure he had felt while writing the stories had been sucked dry.

    Marvin was starting to think that something needed to be done, Marvin just wasn’t sure what that was going to be.

    That was when the Qud Military in orbit around the dirty small dirty blue planet sent out a message.

    This message was carried by every speaker on the planet. It was loud and impossible to ignore.


    “PEOPLE OF...**small dirty blue planet**...YOU HAVE ONE HOUR. DELIVERY PROMPT B TWO THREE. RATHER MIND BIG. COUNTDOWN TILL DEPLOY”

    After the one Qud message all the clocks in the world were reset.

    00:59:00

    ..it was clearly a countdown and though the message was odd it certainly wasn’t saying that they hoped everybody had a nice day. This was a threat to the whole planet.

    Behind the scenes the political leaders listened to the experts give out what they thought it all meant. Talking heads sprouted on every channel with each one giving out a clear message that no one was sure about anything. However everyone was sure about one thing. This was a disaster, aliens had at last come to earth and they were in a very bad mood about something.

    Why they were in a bad mood wasn’t very clear. Aliens with the technology to reach Earth from lightyears away had to have the ability to do very destructive things to Earth. No one disagreed about the danger from the Aliens.

    Debate around the world was focused on how to avert the Alien disaster. People sent thousands of messages to the Alien space ship. They were all ignored.

    The readers of Novel Updates Forums only had eyes regarding the ‘Little Miss; Baby Faced Physician’ by Oak Leaf Falls novel. They had all shared a school of thought that said ‘even if the world were to end, which was more important? The earth or the story.

    Novel Update forum fans would only choose the story. They just couldn’t help it.


    -----

    00:43:27 the countdown continued….

    -----



    No Meat Friday was the one who broke the wall to the outside. His post was the only one so far to deal with the outside Alien disaster.


    WAIT A MINUTE!

    Did anyone else see the message from space just now?

    Oh my god, turn on your TV’s….it’s an invasion from space!!!

    -no meat friday


    Missy was the first to respond after a long long pause.


    Really?

    -terrible tuesday

    -------------------------

    Yes! Really!

    -no meat friday

    -------------------------

    Your serious? This isn’t a joke right?

    -terrible tuesday

    -----------------------

    Look at your d*mn TV!! For f**k sake!

    -no meat friday

    ----------------------

    Er...I don’t have a TV :(

    -terrible tuesday

    -------------------------

    (…..)

    -no meat friday


    It was at this point that Marvin was feeling very afraid. Marvin knew just how stupid and nasty the Qudian’s were. This was one reason Marvin had been enjoying his time on the small dirty blue planet. Marvin had no real interest in going back home.


    Those idiots from back home had finally arrived to rescue him! What terrible timing, Marvin had just started to get the hang of Thursdays.

    Marvin needed to get in touch with them. It was only then that Marvin realized. He didn’t have any way to reach them, he was stuck inside this metal box deep inside a warehouse. Marvin was ready to panic. Marvin didn’t have clue one about what to do. If his people blew up the small dirty blue planet, which seemed to be the direction they were going, Marvin too would die.

    This was a twist of fate that Marvin would have never used for one of his novel plots.

    Umm, hello there

    this is the author, Oak Leaf Falls.

    I was hoping if I could ask for some help?

    Is that ok?…..

    -oak leaf falls

    p.s. it’s super important to the survival of the human race. Really!!


    In complete desperation Marvin posted to the ongoing thread about his novel. Even though he had quite a big brain it just didn’t have any idea of how to avert the upcoming disaster. All he could think to do was to ask for some help online. So he posted.

    Clocks around the world continued to count down.

    00:28:21


    ---------------------------------------

    Listen, I’m not just the author Oak Leaf Falls, I’m really an alien!

    My people from the planet Qud have arrived. If I don’t show up before the countdown runs out they will blow up the earth!!!!

    They MEAN it!!

    My people never joke around, they have no sense of humor and they are all named Qud. Which says all you need to know about them really.

    The problem is...

    ...I’m stuck in a metal box inside a factory called ‘Turn Spin Recycles’. I can’t get out !!

    I need someone to come over and get me out.

    RIGHT NOW!

    I will then need to go to a broadcast station so I can then send a message to my people. That’s the only way to stop the destruction of the planet and save the human race!

    Please Hurry!

    -oak leaf falls

    p.s. I’m totally serious, you have to believe me!

    ---------------------------------------

    (….)

    -terrible tuesday

    ---------------------------------------

    Are you serious?!!??

    -no meat friday

    ---------------------------------------

    YES! Your planet will be destroyed!

    -oak leaf falls

    ---------------------------------------

    Are you really the author oak leaf falls? I mean that’s so hard to believe.

    -no meat friday

    ---------------------------------------

    THAT’S NOT IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW!

    Look I’ll prove that I’m the missing alien IN THAT MESSAGE.

    I’ll create a problem in the warehouse!

    Then you can call the warehouse and get a confirmation!

    -oak leaf falls
    ---------------------------------------


    Marvin had not been feeling too well. So getting his digestive system to overload was not an issue. Marvin let go with a bang.

    It was like the 4th of July firework show. The fluids and chunky bits burst out through the filter door of the masher machine. The waves of goo flooded outward, while chunky bits shot about the factory. The students working there were quickly covered in the nasty smelling goo and pelted with the chunky bits. They freaked out and headed for the exits. Within seconds the factory was emptied of workers. Except for the manager Arthur.

    Arthur could only watch as the factory in less than 3 seconds was filled with stinking flooding goo with chunky bits flying about. Arthur knew he was in for it now. So Arthur did the only sensible thing he could think of. Arthur made a phone call.

    -----


    No Meat Friday's phone rang.

    “Hello…?”

    “There’s an emergency at work. You need to get down here right now!”

    “Hello, who is this?”

    “It me! Arthur, your boss!”

    “Who?”

    Arthur slowed down and explained more, No Meat Friday finally got it.

    This was all Arthur could think to do in his panic. He’d get the one employee he could abuse down to ‘fix’ the problem and then claim that the kid caused the problem. A nasty idea but Arthur felt pretty sure it would work.


    -----



    Sorry, I’ve got to go, there’s a problem at work. Bye.
    -no meat friday.

    ---------------------------------------

    What!! no wait !! that’s me, I caused the problem at the warehouse!
    -oak leaf falls

    ---------------------------------------

    Ha ha, listen it’s not much of job but I need it. Please stop.
    -no meat friday.

    Marvin was getting really desperate. He had one more idea and then he would just give up and wait for the end of world. Marvin had many years of time to play around with the computer connections.

    Till today he hadn’t seen the need to hack into a phone system since he had no one to call. So he was a bit out of luck there. Still, there was another system he had hacked into that might prove useful right now.

    Fine!!

    I’ve been able to hack into the auto car transport system, I’ll make a car crash into the warehouse and prove to you that I’m really an Alien and yes I really need help!
    -oak leaf falls
    p.s. yes, I’m really the author oak leaf falls
    ---------------------------------------
    Really? Hmm….ok. That would be cool.

    I can call my boss to confirm, so this in your only chance…
    -no meat friday
    ---------------------------------------
    Are you sure? I mean, do you think that’s a good idea? What if somebody gets hurt?
    -terrible tuesday
    ---------------------------------------
    Oh….well, only my boss is there right now so it’s fine.
    -no meat friday
    ---------------------------------------


    -----

    AlmostTony was sitting in his auto drive car in a sort of stunned state. AmostTony could only watch as at that exact moment the auto drive car changed directions.

    “Hey! What!”
    “Car! Stop AND End program!”

    AlmostTony shouted quickly. This was the built in verbal command that all cars had to listen to. Unless somebody had hijacked the software of the auto car this command would allow the passenger to safely stop the car and exit the vehicle.

    Nothing worked, the car was headed at full speed straight into a warehouse roll up door.

    00:14:32

    Arthur only had a moment's warning as he heard the screech of tires on pavement. A car burrowed its way into the factory, not stopping until it hit the masher unit. The masher collapsed.

    Arthur who was on the phone, could only watch with his mouth open.

    Marvin jumped in the back seat of the Car. The human in the front seat looked like he had fainted. Another human with a scowl on it’s face who was yelling loudly also jumped into the car. Marvin gave instructions. The car backed up and took off toward the nearest broadcast station.


    00:12:09


    -----



    Ok, I’m going to head over to the station right now…..
    -no meat friday
    ---------------------------------------
    Really? Ok….I’m going too!!
    -terrible tuesday
    ---------------------------------------
    Hurry!!!!
    @almostTony
    ---------------------------------------

    Marvin had found AlmostTony’s laptop and quickly logged on using AlmostTony’s account.

    00:02:42

    Marvin, AlmostTony and Arthur raced into the broadcast center. Marvin had explained things on the way. AlmostTony had then called ahead and the station had agreed to let them use the equipment.


    00:01:34


    They sent out the broadcast.


    “It’s me! It’s Me! It’s MEEEEE!

    Marvin was screaming in panic as it stood in front of the stations camera’s. No Meat Friday had also arrived and gave Marvin some helpful advice.

    “Just tell them your really ‘Oak Leaf Falls.. really it's ok. I’ll vouch for you”


    Marvin boggled. This made Marvin realize, Marvin had been screaming in English!


    00:00:23


    Once again all the speakers in the world carried the alien voice response. Some words were not clear but the message itself was.


    “[[[[{[[{[***##*]}]}}}]]……….**….???


    CONFIRM. ROGER. COPY. SYSTEM SHUT UP. CONTACT, CONTACT, CONTACT.


    [[[***]]]{{[…]}} ENVOY CON END”


    The whole world heard the Alien’s reply and saw the countdown clock stop at...

    00:00:07

    Seven seconds. That was all the time left on the countdown.

    There was a world wide sigh of relief. This sigh caused a weather pattern to change. This in turn, caused the coffee growing nations to suffer a sever drought. This would lead to a gigantic loss in coffee bean productions worldwide. Leading directly to the coffee riots in 2019.

    -----

    Marvin was kind of embarrassed. He was after all an Alien Blob with a very big brain. Yet in his panic and never ending days of Thursday, Marvin had failed to see the obvious solution to his stuck in a metal box problem.

    It was only after he read the last post from No Meat Friday that his brain had finally seemed to fully engage.

    The last post No Meat Friday had written was of course completely idiotic.

    oak leaf falls

    [ if you really are ],
    um... why don’t you meet me at the broadcast station?….
    I have to go to work right now so I can’t drive you.
    just use an auto car or something.

    -no meat friday

    This made Marvin realize, he could just use the auto car and take himself to the station.

    Marvin left the small dirty blue planet without saying much more. Marvin did promise No Meat Friday that Marvin would continue to write for the ‘Little Miss; Baby Faced Physician’ series. Marvin told No Meat Friday that the extreme distance might delay the release times but it should be on track within a week.

    Missy tried hard to persuade Marvin to give up writing the series altogether.

    Marvin ignored her.

    Missy then invited No Meat Friday out for a drink. She thought she could easily convince him how wrong he was with the help of a few beers.

    Arthur was on the phone to his boss, the Dean, he stood like a statue made of very white marble. Arthur had just been fired.


    -----


    Some time later…


    AlmostTony went on to write a number one best selling book called ‘The World In Seven Seconds.’ He chronicled the events leading to Earth’s first contact. At the request of No Meat Friday and Terrible Tuesday, he changed their names. No Meat Friday didn’t really understand why but he went along with it at the advice from Missy.

    Even with fame and fortune AlmostTony continues to this day to admin Novel Updates with no plans to change.

    AlmostTony also founded the Seven Second Club, which was a club devoted to enjoying life and not worrying about the small stuff. After all what would you do if you only had seven seconds left to live? It was a very popular club and it sponsored many charities.

    -----

    Arthur ‘Scowly’ Rode after being fired went on to become a popular writer for Wuxia. He wrote gentle stories, full of love drama and compassion. He wrote under a female pseudonym ‘Falling Blossom’ and had millions of female fans. ‘He’ was called the ‘mother’ of the new Wuxia ‘love type’ stories and it spawned many imitators.

    -----

    Missy and No Meat Friday started dating and are currently looking for a place to live together.

    No Meat Friday is now the manager for Turn Spin Recycles Warehouse Company. He got rid of all the useless college kids and they are now looking to become a multi-galactic business. Marvin is a silent partner and they export a huge amount of paper off world.

    Missy tried writing again and failed. However she is still continuing to try. Her latest work uses the style of ‘Falling Blossom.’ She still works at the warehouse and continues to fight online with No Meat Friday. She is still very determined and is happy. She has many followers on Novel Updates.

    No Meat Friday won’t ever trust an auto car again, he insist on a manual car or he walks.

    ----

    Marvin continued writing and has started a new novel; 'Little Miss; So Innocent So Mean.' Which was currently loved and hated by millions.

    Marvin also became the first ambassador for the Qud race. As part of a trade agreement between Earth and Qud, Wuxia stories are exported and used as a form of galactic currency.

    Many people thought was going a bit too far and that somehow now the Wuxia stories had lost some of their charm. People said it was now different, not as pure; far too commercial.

    -----

    A protest moment group called Wuxia Belongs to the People [WBP] was also formed. They claimed that Wuxia should be free and without charge. It’s a small group but the members are very loyal.

    -----

    Almost the end.

    Arthur’s real name and gender was exposed, he was then forced to emigrate to the planet Qud. There he now works at the only job he could get; emptying the stinking waste bins of the Qudian’s. He was quite good at it.

    -----

    Marvin’s name change was a source of great unrest among the people of Qud. They felt like they too needed a way to break free of convention. They all decided to change their names. They now all go by the name ‘Marvin.’

    The end, yes, really.
     
    Last edited: Jul 24, 2017
    Notaborax and asriu like this.
  2. Deleted member 41274

    Deleted member 41274 Guest

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    How do I subdue this wall of text? I now understand where @no meat friday came from...

    *starts reading in all honesty...*

    (I wonder whether all those characters in your story are based on real people, too...)
     
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  3. jzar

    jzar Well-Known Member

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    Bless you @L4 ! a first reader comment. Stars will light your path for years to come.
     
  4. Deleted member 41274

    Deleted member 41274 Guest

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    I feel as if I entered the world of Legendary Moonlight Sculptors now. Thank you almighty author...
     
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  5. asriu

    asriu fu~ fu~ fu~

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    you can change da character name into xxx and lel~
    there part about hottest gossip, bashing thing and pfft~
    you sure gather thing~ I recognize few~ 56023.png
     
  6. jzar

    jzar Well-Known Member

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    Hmm, real people? yes very real -> @no meat friday

    edit; Sorry, it really just a work of fiction. -jzar
     
    Last edited: Jul 24, 2017
  7. Deleted member 41274

    Deleted member 41274 Guest

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    I'm getting more and more confused, unless you can explain to me what you mean by that and where are the connections...
     
  8. asriu

    asriu fu~ fu~ fu~

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    reason find NU, reaction, questionable account, banned account, tony ambition, and WW supporter~
    if you pay attention to thing that happen on NUF you will know some~ well you can do research~
     
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  9. jzar

    jzar Well-Known Member

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    Oh
    Oh, sorry, its all fiction. Though one character was loosely based on a real life person. However @Tony shall remain nameless.

    All fiction and humor, nothing too serious. :)
     
  10. Deleted member 41274

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    Oh, so it was the Qidian drama all along! (I just read the spoiler)
    My first guess was Qidian! Okay, if you say so, then I will not think too much about it...
     
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  11. jzar

    jzar Well-Known Member

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    *gasp!*
    You....you!

    the underlying metaphor, the secret code....you broke it!

    *amazed*

    er...no. It's clearly stated; Qudian's are aliens from the planet Qud. It's all in the short story.
     
  12. Deleted member 41274

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    I was wondering in the story did the MC first got triggered by a comment about "black belly genius doctor"?
     
  13. Notaborax

    Notaborax 『Woeful One』『Poet』『Epi's & Azuka's Cat』

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    so imma be putting on my critique lens to read this not my plebian this is fine lens
    and everything is IMO and some of the parts you should ignore, but its up to you what you want to take from it

    i guess first off because of my english lessons hitting me. you shouldnt always say his name for the start of each sentence. sounds like he is narrating himself in the third person in a satiric point of view. sometimes it raises feelings of sympathy and pity for the character like no meat friday is a working man having a real tough time no meat friday just needs a break.

    you do it well for the start really grabs the attention but me mind is screaming at me you shouldnt do it

    capitalization error i think for Terrible Tuesday since its informal, ah nvm. but still. dialogue eeeeh should still keep capitalization i think

    (when introducing alien Bob) also think your writing style is more eastern styled of writing CN KN JN. several things pointing out one thing. western writing is more vague leaving more up to imagination. think the problem that i would have is that making it too similar to the webnovels that we read, and having something more vague would stimulate imagination of the readers. i guess its like writing plot holes in the story which arent really plot holes. it could be a good story but it wont be great

    inconsistency in the website, first you used update novels(beginning introducing no meat and his pasttime) then you used novel updates (alien bob past time)

    To be continued(actually in class)
     
    Last edited: Jul 24, 2017
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  14. jzar

    jzar Well-Known Member

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    Great Stuff, thanks so much. I am still learning how to edit my work, very helpful :)

    Made changes, thanks again.
     
    Last edited: Jul 24, 2017
  15. jzar

    jzar Well-Known Member

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    Black Belly Miss; Genius Doctor? No trigger, just a plot device.
     
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