The Great Toilet Paper Shortage of 2020

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by userunfriendly, Mar 19, 2020.

  1. userunfriendly

    userunfriendly A Wild Userunfriendly Appears!

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  2. Femme Fatale

    Femme Fatale | Sublime Goddess Of Chance |

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    [​IMG]


    Throwing you a slow ball as a first comment. I am prepared for this post! :blobsalute:
     
  3. userunfriendly

    userunfriendly A Wild Userunfriendly Appears!

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  4. brigs11

    brigs11 Well-Known Member

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    Day 1: I have bought enough toilet paper to last three years
    Day 10: I've run out of food
    Day 30: Toilet paper soup is now my staple meal
     
  5. userunfriendly

    userunfriendly A Wild Userunfriendly Appears!

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    imK likes this.
  6. userunfriendly

    userunfriendly A Wild Userunfriendly Appears!

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    :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:

    It turns out that these type of “wipes” can cause very pernicious blockages deep within the sewage system...

    https://www.today.com/series/one-small-thing/are-flushable-wipes-really-flushable-t151945

    https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2016/10/are-wet-wipes-wrecking-the-worlds-sewers/504098/


    At least you’re getting your fiber...:ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:
     
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  7. DragonMage18

    DragonMage18 Outcast

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    TP industry now: :blobowoevil_horns:those fools buying all that overpriced TP, cause their own stupidityblob_crime

    TP industry 1 year from now: :sweating_profusely: why is nobody buying my TP? It's on a 50% duscount but nobody is buying... :blob_teary:
     
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  8. brigs11

    brigs11 Well-Known Member

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    I bought food, medicine, and sanitizers first because I believed that would go into shortage before anything else....



    Little did I know that I was dead wrong, the thing I should have purchased before all else was toilet paper and it's now too late for me.

    -Last excerpt from a diary of a victim of the Toilet Paper Famine
     
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  9. Ilisle

    Ilisle Lord of the Northern Guards

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    boff, only double layered,etc tp is out of stock at my shop.
    Not much people touched the single layers tp
     
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  10. BigBadBoi

    BigBadBoi Well-Known Member

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    While you normies cry for your oh so important toilet paper, We ascended people have mastered the art of making do with what we have. tabo2.jpg
     
  11. Femme Fatale

    Femme Fatale | Sublime Goddess Of Chance |

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    Oh, you don't flush those...you'd have to have alternative modes of disposal. >_>

    [​IMG]
    Corncobs Yep. Rumor has it that corncobs were used way back during the colonial times. In fact, toilet paper (at least in its modern iteration) wasn’t even invented until around 1857 (though it’s rumored that the Chinese came up with a variation of it way back in the 1400s). That meant that people had to get creative to get that squeaky-clean sensation. The sort of pebbled texture of the cob allows it to get into the crooks and nannies, but it’s still soft enough to really get up in there and get rid of all of the remaining residoodoo. Of course, the best thing about corncobs is actually getting to eat the corn off it (uh, before you use it as a butt-wiper, thank you very much). Pass the butter!
     
  12. userunfriendly

    userunfriendly A Wild Userunfriendly Appears!

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    :blobscream::blobscream::blobscream::blobscream::blobscream::blobscream::blobscream::blobscream::blobscream::blobscream::blobscream::blobscream::blobscream::blobscream::blobscream::blobscream:
     
  13. DragonMage18

    DragonMage18 Outcast

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    You should rather use a cloth, some water and soap. That way you only have to worry about running out of water... and if the TP acopolypse begins, don't use soap and keep the water so you can give it to your crops (just don't keep it for to long... ).
     
  14. userunfriendly

    userunfriendly A Wild Userunfriendly Appears!

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    :notlikeblob::notlikeblob::notlikeblob::notlikeblob::notlikeblob::notlikeblob::notlikeblob::notlikeblob::notlikeblob:
     
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  15. MadraRua

    MadraRua :: ˓(ᑊᘩᑊ⁎) :: Divorcee

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    Bite the bullet and ask the stall beside you.
     
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  16. brigs11

    brigs11 Well-Known Member

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    Remember to wash the butter off. You don't want butter butt.
     
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  17. Ai chan

    Ai chan Queen of Yuri, Devourer of Traps, Thrusted Witch

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    Water.

    Yes. Water

    Why do you use tissue anyway?

    Water. It's everywhere. Use it. Use it well.

    You can find it on land, rivers, sea and underground

    Water even falls on your face and for some reason, you run away from it.

    Water, it is that one unique resource that comes at you whether you like it or not.

    Use water to clean your butt, and after that, use that same water to nourish the crops, because it now has fertilizer.

    After all, you're gonna run out of food now. So you need to start planting, and your water now not only gives your plants a drink, but also food.

    Water. Use it. Love it. Use it a whole god damn lot. It is renewable. It is delicious. No, your butt water is not delicious, but at least it's useful for your veges.
     
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  18. elengee

    elengee Daoist Ninefaps

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    You mortals actually have impurities to excrete!?! :blobwoah:
     
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  19. userunfriendly

    userunfriendly A Wild Userunfriendly Appears!

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    :blobfearful::blobfearful::blobfearful::blobfearful::blobfearful::blobfearful::blobfearful:
     
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  20. Not Red Yet

    Not Red Yet Well-Known Member

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    People are stealing toilet paper from Convenience stores now.

    Know multiple people that work at some and it got so bad that they ran out of stock, also people were stealing the hand sanitizers off the wall :notlikeblob::notlikeblob::notlikeblob: