The Great Toilet Paper Shortage of 2020

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by userunfriendly, Mar 19, 2020.

  1. imK

    imK Artful Dodger

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    Some guy tried to make it using stone, but it wasn't commercially viable. The search continues...
     
  2. HiroBlaze

    HiroBlaze Well-Known Member

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    Asians, Middle Easterners, Cental Asians, Muslims, etc all use water to wipe their bottoms. Poorer countries use water and soap. Richer nations use a Bidet.

    I wonder would Bidet sales go up with this shortage now?

    Also anyone else remember that Gintama episode where they fought over something to wipe their bottom with in the toilets?
     
    Last edited: Mar 21, 2020
  3. Femme Fatale

    Femme Fatale | Sublime Goddess Of Chance |

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    Corn husks Since we’re already talking about using foodstuffs for butt wipes, why not take a closer look at corn husks? While these hojas tend to surge in popularity during the holiday season, you can still find them at any Latino supermercado. Even better? They’re dirt cheap! Oh, and they’re suuuuper soft, too, so you don’t have to worry about abrading your delicate bits. Ask your tia or abuela to make you some tamales, then save the discarded husks for when they eventually work their way through you.
     
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  4. brigs11

    brigs11 Well-Known Member

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    Huh. I use corn husks to line the bottom of my pot when cooking rice on the stove to keep it from sticking so I have quite a bit in the cupboard. Great idea.
     
  5. MadraRua

    MadraRua :: ˓(ᑊᘩᑊ⁎) :: Divorcee

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    You know I just realised... ANYTHING goes round here.

    Is nothing sacred? :facepalm:
     
  6. Femme Fatale

    Femme Fatale | Sublime Goddess Of Chance |

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    True? I like that little crunchy bit of rice at the bottom....in my home there can be fights over it. ^.^
     
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  7. Femme Fatale

    Femme Fatale | Sublime Goddess Of Chance |

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    Old rags Do me a favor and go look into your closet or your chest of drawers right now. There it is. Yup. Your old concert tee-shirt from 1999. Or that shirt that you got for completing a Turkey Trot back when you were in 5th grade and it didn’t make you wheeze to walk just a block, and even though it’s stained and covered in holes, you can’t bear to part with it. Well, guess what? You just found your replacement toilet paper. Grab a pair of scissors and cut those old rags into wide strips. Just, uh. Make sure you wash them when you’re done. Alone. In their own load. Away from your other clothes. Thanks.
     
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  8. brigs11

    brigs11 Well-Known Member

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    Unfortunately for me instead of getting crunchy it just burns onto the pot and I have to spend a while trying to get it off.
     
  9. Femme Fatale

    Femme Fatale | Sublime Goddess Of Chance |

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    Hmm... I have a couple of suggestions for that...but probably take it to my rice and beans post....talking food while discussing TP is kinda weird now that I think about it. :blobscream::blobscream::blobscream::blobscream::blobscream:
     
  10. MahotsukiKonran

    MahotsukiKonran √¶∆℅¥×¶÷π√ ™°℅{^¢¡¿∆ \\£¥^√π¥℅¶∆÷√ ©¢¥®<®]¡¶∆¿

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    The reason toilet paper was invented was to help prevent the clogs caused by people flushing things like paper, cloth, corn husks and other things. Toilet paper is the only thing that should go down your toilet if you use it to wipe.
     
  11. Scyphoza

    Scyphoza Well-Known Member

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    While we are waiting for the savior i do have a solution. Just dont wipe. With social distancing no one else can smell you and you can build up a nice comfy crust.
     
  12. TooLazyToThink

    TooLazyToThink Well-Known Member

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    Why not water and soap like as Asians do? It's cleaner too
     
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  13. userunfriendly

    userunfriendly A Wild Userunfriendly Appears!

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    D’uh!:ROFLMAO:
     
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  14. MelancholyCorner

    MelancholyCorner Well-Known Member

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    Oh gosh this is so embarrassing :notlikeblob: please tell me other countries are also stocking up on toilet paper so I won't feel so embarrass to know we aren't the only ones. I don't want my country to be known as the toilet paper hoarders:sweating_profusely:
     
  15. Nightow1

    Nightow1 Well-Known Member

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    Which is impressive considering that when toilet paper was invented, the flush toilet wasn't yet.....
    The earliest case of toilet paper was in 600 AD. My guess was that in areas where water is scarce, they used wrapping paper until it became institutionalized as toilet paper. Not everywhere has fresh water and I suspect in some areas, water would be scarce enough to be too valuable to wash with.
     
  16. MadraRua

    MadraRua :: ˓(ᑊᘩᑊ⁎) :: Divorcee

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    :blob_blush::blobthumbsdown::hmm::blob_zipper_mouth:

    Just when I think it couldn't get worse... thank you for the visual.

    But seriously, if it came down to no toilet paper, surely you'd rather use water than have skidmarks... plus the crust wouldn't build up if you shower daily ...

    OR maybe your of the ethos that changing your underwear just means turning the pair your wearing inside out...
     
  17. Femme Fatale

    Femme Fatale | Sublime Goddess Of Chance |

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    There was also the almanac. >_> Nice thin sheets, see? Many, many sheets. ^.^

    It's very educational here. :cookie:
     
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  18. Scyphoza

    Scyphoza Well-Known Member

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    Implying we need hygiene when the government gave us a way out with social distancing. They only told me to wash my hands nothing else. If you can smell me your to close and probably gave me Corona.
     
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  19. Neiri

    Neiri Well-Known Member

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    ah yes the Great Toilet Paper
    Crisis of 2020. It all started when some idiot parent let a kid into a gorilla enclosure.......
     
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  20. MadraRua

    MadraRua :: ˓(ᑊᘩᑊ⁎) :: Divorcee

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    Lmfao.

    Ok ok, I'll keep my distance don't worry.

    Maybe the government should introduce this as an incentive for social distancing. Maybe that's where all the toilet paper is going....