Hello guys, I'm currently trying to quench my thirst by writing this novel. I originally don't plan to publish this work, because it's purely for my own entertainment. But, seeing other people releasing their own fiction, tempted me to see how other people would see my own amateur writings. I mean, why not? Since I'm stuck on my apartment anyway, I'm better off polishing my own skills in writings! So, Give me feedback for what you think! Give me your harshest criticism and warmest praise Don't hold back! Including grammar as well, as English is my 2nd language. Here we go: Title: The Hero's Merchant Genre: Action, Adventure, Fantasy, Psychological, Tragedy, Seinen, Romance. Tag: Male Protagonist, Average-looking protagonist, Clever Protagonist, Antihero Protagonist, Mob protagonist, Supporting Protagonist, Character Growth, Merchants, Aristocracy, Magic, Summoned Hero, Age Progression, Academy, Fallen nobility, Weak to strong, Beautiful female lead, Devoted love interest, Multiple POV, Heroes, Beastkin, Demons, Demon lord, Depiction of cruelty, Time skip, etc (Might add more in the future) Synopsis: Spoiler: Synopsis This is a story of a thief, a slum dweller, a fallen noble, an orphan, who has a fateful encounter with a Hero, Kira Nagumo. Living in total darkness since childhood, Rias Schurman has never trusted another human being ever since he lost his family. Seeing his own mother being raped to death, his own father beheaded, Rias has always seen human being as a threat and swore vengeance as his motivation to live on. He has never celebrated his birthday ever since he’s five years old. It has been 9 years since then. That day, it was supposed to be a simple hit and run. It was supposed to be an easy money. Yet, Rias would’ve never thought because of that day, his entire life would change completely. The life of excitement, colorful, meaningful, tragedy, danger, and prosperity. The life that will show you the ugliest of human nature. Both from others and himself. The life of a Hero’s Merchant. Table of content: Prologue Spoiler: Prologue ----Rias Schurman, Freia Calendar: Year 220 Month 3rd Day 25th, 23:07 PM, Clear Nighttime with two moons. ----Continent of Terra, Kingdom of Freya, Capital of Freya: Stormforge, Slum District. ----24th Block of Slum district, Wrath Brothers’ territory, Dim-lit back alley. *SLASH* *CLANG* *STAB* A sound of clashing dagger and the sensation of flesh on my dagger. Blood spattered all over my hand. “AAAAAAAAAaarrrGGhhhHH! P-please spare me, Rias! It was my mistake!” As I remove my dagger from his chest, the sound of painful roar of my opponent, the last words of a dying beast. "...No.” I replied and dash quickly to stab his neck. A beast known as man. A beast that cannot be trusted and does not deserve our sympathy. “PLEA---- *CHOKED*” As I stab to his neck, he choked because of blood filling his lungs, unable to utter his next words. He fallen to the ground, while holding his bleeding neck. With the choking sound stopped, the back alley has turn silent once again. A very common theme of the slum. People died and killed every day in the slum, and no one really cares about it. That applies to me as well. Hmm? Are you asking why I killed him? It’s simple. He’s jealous and greedy because of my successful attempt to rob a noble’s mansion. As such, he broke the cardinal rule of the slum by telling the noble of my identity and location for gold. It was a taboo for the slum dwellers. So, no one would blame for what I did to him. Not even his own gang, the wrath brothers, would blame me for it. Actually, I’ve never blame him for what he did. He has a wife and a kid. I’ve heard his kid is sick and require immediate medical assistance. Medicine is expensive, it’s something that the slum dwellers won’t be able to buy no matter how much he worked. So, I understand his desperation. Not that I care though. Not my business. He mess with me, then I kill him. As simple as that. “…time to clean up.” As I muttered, sighing about the work that need to be done without reward. ---------------------------================----------------------------------- After cleaning up, I’m quite starved. I’ve yet to eat dinner today. ‘I guess I’ll be going to the Andrea’s tavern again.’ It’s the only tavern open at the wrath’s brother territory. The food’s good, but expensive for the slum’s standard. Though, I’ve enough leeway for a good meal just for today. I deserved that meal. ‘I need to get out of the capital though. It’s only a matter of time till that noble caught me.’ I thought in my mind, as I walk to the tavern. As I’m thinking of the plan, I unknowingly arrived at the tavern. As I open the door, the atmosphere is quite lively. I’ve seen a couple of acquaintances eating and drinking their fill. I see Andreas as well, working as the bartender of the tavern as usual. Her daughter, Angela, is working as the waitress. She saw me immediately after I open the tavern door. However, I noticed that the atmosphere is a bit off. Something’s different. A lot of people have their eyes on me. A lot more than usual. Angela shouted “Hey, Rias! I’ve seen you’re still in one piece. Wanna order specials as usual?” “Yes, please.” I nod to her and I walked to the bartender table. I want to talk to Andreas to gain a certain information. A vital information to get out of this damn city. As I sit, I immediately ask Andreas “Andreas, I need your help.” She smiled and replied “Let me guess, you want the east gate info, right?” The closest gate from the slum is the east gate. So, naturally, I plan to get through from that gate. I nod “Only for tomorrow. I’ll pay in gold for the info.” I said to her, to negotiate the price. Her expression turn serious as she replied “It’s a bad idea to get through the east gate from today onward. I heard the noble has already looking for you. He lend his own personal guard to reinforce the east gate because he knows you’re from the slum. Not to mention the hired eyes around the gate. You won’t make it past the gate with that kind of security. And, I’ve heard your head actually worth 500 gold.” Just the moment Andreas finished her explanation, a few eyes on the tavern suddenly turned green upon hearing 500 gold. The whole tavern turn silent. A majority of them are looking at me, as if they’re seeing my head as a gold ornament. Even my own acquaintances are not exception. Andreas noticed that and said “No fighting in the tavern. If you want to fight, do it outside.” Then, the guys turn to their foods, drinks, and talks again. Continuing their delight, as if nothing happened. I now realized the severity of the situation. It is much worse than I expected. I feel cold sweat on my back. Andreas continued “The only opportunity you have is on the south gate. As for the specific info, I can’t guarantee the legitimacy though. Do you still want to hear it?” I stay silent to think of the new situation. This is actually the biggest crisis that I’ve ever experienced ever since my family died. After around 5 minutes, when Angela arrived to bring the food and placed it to the table, I finally decided what I wanted to do. “..Give me the info of the north gate and west gate.” I replied to Andreas with the softest whisper that I could mutter. Andreas dumbfounded. She whispered back “..Are you sure, Rias? That’s the most dangerous route. It’s the noble’s district, you know that right?” I replied softly “The darkest place is under the candlesticks. Give me everything you have. I’ll pay 2 gold for each gate.” Andreas replied “Deal.” She gives me a rough map and the details of the guard shift system. She reminded me again that the information is not absolute. There could be changes depending on the situation. She also added a tip about the hero being summoned yesterday would be lurking on the noble’s district. She also mentions that bribing the northern and western gatekeepers would also be very expensive. I guess I would need to steal some when I’m on the way in the noble’s district if it’s not enough. Oh, did I ever mention the key reason for why I succeeded to rob the noble’s mansion is because of that very hero? A lot of nobles are busy because of the hero’s summoning ritual. Not that I care about the reason, but you could say I indirectly owe that hero once. As for the hero is being summoned to fight the demon lord kind of stuff, I don’t care any of it. I doubt I’d meet him in this life though, so just forget about it. As she finished her info and received the payment, she whispered with a pair of serious eyes “You better finish your food fast and get out of here quickly. The food is on the house. I wish you luck.” I noticed her hint and quickly finished my food. What a wasteful way to eat such delicious food. “Thanks Andreas, I owe you one.” As I ran quickly leaving the tavern. The people inside the tavern that are watching me caught off guard and immediately trying to chase me. It’s obvious they want my head. I can see my own acquaintances are among the pursuer. Heh. This reaffirm my belief once again. Human is never to be trusted. A beast that deserve no sympathy. I would rather trust a demon than a human. ‘It’s going to be a long night…’ I thought in my mind and readying my dagger. I won’t die before I killed that man. I swore upon the God of vengeance…. …THAT I WILL KILL ANYONE THAT STOP ME! ---Prologue ends. Don't forget to leave a comment! Thx for reading!
Why the fuck yours felt like my work? Especially when I have not even post it in Scribble Hub. The whole angsty MC is common I know, the edgyness is what some might find delicious, your prologue has basically craft the MC into a moody down-in-luck slumdog who has no qualms to kill, which makes it all dark and xianxia-ish, but that is how these stories usually go. With someone fucked up your life, you try to fuck that guy back and in turns make yourself into a monster like the guy. The issue is whether the MC becomes something bigger, to grow a heart or warp even further. I am feeling run-ons and some inconsistencies in sentences, but my english is shit, so are my other languages, and math, and science, and computer programming, and economics, and obviously my Mech. Engring. So I am not the best of judge, but it should garner some fans online, for those who likes to read typical edgelord works.
Loool that’s actually bullseye. I was trying to mix the two together with my personal taste of supporting protag genre. Yup. This novel wont be fluffy for sure. As for similar to your work, i guess that’s how the trope work as you mentioned. Going fullblown edgelord fck yeaa
lol so many tags Yes I have always wanted to read a story with: 'Male Protagonist, Average-looking protagonist, Clever Protagonist, Antihero Protagonist, Mob protagonist, Supporting Protagonist, Character Growth, Merchants, Aristocracy, Magic, Summoned Hero, Age Progression, Academy, Fallen nobility, Weak to strong, Beautiful female lead, Devoted love interest, Multiple POV, Heroes, Beastkin, Demons, Demon lord, Depiction of cruelty, Time skip, ' -Yes that. Perfect