Novel The Marching Crow (A xianxia story)

Discussion in 'Community Fictions' started by Hathnuz, Apr 7, 2017.

  1. Hathnuz

    Hathnuz Well-Known Member

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    Genre
    Xuanhuan, Fantasy, Action, Adventure.

    Synopsis
    TL;DR: It's xianxia, except the mc is the arrogant young master.
    -Under construction-

    Hello nuffians, I want to share my new web novel. I posted it here because I'm not too sure if the story is good or not, so all feedbacks and critiques are very welcome. Enjoy!

    Table of Contents
    Chapter 1
     
    Last edited: Apr 8, 2017
    Deleted member 41274 likes this.
  2. Hathnuz

    Hathnuz Well-Known Member

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    Chapter 1

    Today the sun shone brightly over the large temple and somebody almost died.

    A young man lay on the marble floor like a corpse. The red fluid gushed from his stomach as he covered the wound with his hand. Although many bystanders stood nearby, nobody helped him. Some of them were only watching him as if this is an everyday sight, while others were interested in something else. Their gaze fixed on another young man who was standing opposite of him. He grinned, pointed down, and said,

    “Never ever call me “trash” again, Teng Jiang.” He sheathed his sword and walked away until he vanished. The crowd then dispersed one by one.

    With leftover strength, Teng Jiang gritted his teeth and shouted, ”I… I will not forget this! Uhuk...” He coughed a mouthful of fresh blood before he could finish his sentence.

    The vision grew darker then turned black completely.

    ---

    “Hah!”

    Teng Jiang opened his eyes and panted. He couldn’t recall what the dream was, yet it seemed real. He tucked under a warm, soft blanket complete with some pillows. He was surrounded by white curtains. Beyond the curtain gap, an opened sliding door was in front of him; the breeze carried a hint of flower scent. Teng Jiang’s aware the strangeness of this current event.

    “Is this… bedroom? I was fighting that trash, why am I here?” muttered Teng Jiang after woke up. He had no memory of this room. He moved around his head and saw a wooden cupboard on his right filled with medicines, he then realized that he’s in the infirmary. Judging

    “Did I lost?”

    “Xiao Teng!” A young female shouted and slammed the sliding door. Her sparkling hair fell until neck and bounced with each steps. A tinge of anxiety reflected from the wide eyes, yet they couldn’t hide her beauty.

    She approached him, touched the blanket, and said, “Xiao Teng, you’re finally wake up! You must tell me what happened at the temple!” She must be had heard his scream.

    The girl is his cousin from one of the Teng clan’s branch family, Teng Nuan. She won’t be permitted to live here if she had no outstanding talent. Since then, Teng Jiang and she have lived together. They both became a disciple of Teng Sect.

    “Teng Nuan... Why am I here, with bandages all over my body?” He checked his torso. The bandages were over-applied and sloppy, she must be the who tied these. It reminded him of his past, where she treated his wound because he fell from a tree while playing.

    “You don’t remember? You had a battle with Bai Yuochen. I don’t know exactly what happen, but you were defeated in one strike. Since then, you've been in this room, unconscious. Your wound was fatal but lucky for you, I rescued you just in time.” She smiled with gentle eyes.

    "One strike? Ahaha, you must be joking...” Teng Jiang laughed in forced manner. He really did expect it to be a joke, but Teng Nuan only replied with shaking her head. As she told him about his battle result, the scene became crystal clear. What she said is true. Deep inside his heart, something had shattered as he clenched right his fist under the blanket

    Teng Nuan furrowed and leaned closer. She stared at his eyes. Teng Jiang sniffed her sweet scent, combined with sweat odor; teng Jiang retracted his head a bit and rubbed his nose. She asked, "Tell me, Xiao Teng, did you eat something wrong? Or did you notice something strange about that trash, Bai Yuochen? How can he defeated you so easily?" Teng Nuan bombarded Teng Jiang with questions in raised voice.

    “I... I don't know. Please leave me alone for a moment. Maybe after I recuperate, I'm able to remember everything,” he said. He lied because every time he recalls the memory, he wanted to pinch himself.

    Teng Nuan retracted her body and faced the door. She then bid farewell without facing Teng Jiang, “Alright then, I'll ask again later. I hope you will recover soon.”

    As soon as Teng Nuan left the room, Teng Jiang slammed his fist on the bed, producing soft noise. He asked himself, “Why I, one of the geniuses of outer disciple sect, could be defeated by a mere trash like Bai Yuochen?”

    “He’s poor and had nothing, yet…” Teng Jiang uttered a sigh.

    “Maybe it was my fault that I lost? Come to think of it, I’ve been napping all day and like to boast rather than training or cultivating.” Teng Jiang also realized that he cultivated only because of either his father’s yell or Teng Nuan’s reminder.

    “From now on, I must become stronger!” He proclaimed. He didn’t want to get beaten by anyone again because it’s humiliating especially a trash like Bai Yuochen. He wished to get rid of the ‘below than trash’ feeling.

    “Bai Yuochen, I swear I’ll defeat you!”

    Teng Jiang then checked cultivation. “Phew, no damage in my dantian. At least I’m not crippled.” He sighed in relief. Teng Jiang suspected that the strike was aimed at his dantian, the core of his cultivation, located below the belly button. Had the dantian destroyed, he will never could cultivate for the rest of his lifetime. Luckily, Bai Yuochen missed the target; Teng Jiang was still on the same stage, Initiatory realm level 9.

    Initiatory realm is the first step of the cultivation journey. It divided into 10 levels. Higher the cultivation level, the harder to climb up the level. At level 5 and 10, there will be a bottleneck, which will require more effort to breakthrough than usual. Initiate level 1 can lift up to 20 kg with one hand, at level 2 they can lift up to 40 kg, 60 kg at level 3, and so on.

    According to his memory, he was considered quite talented among his peers. An average 14 years old cultivator would be in Initiatory realm level 6. His cultivation speed mostly came from the superior meditation method and cultivating pills, which was given by Teng sect. However, if Teng Jiang wasn’t too lazy and neglecting his training, his cultivation would be much higher. He even was surpassed by his own cousin, who was once below him in strength.

    “If only I didn’t sell my cultivation pills for jewelry and clothing, I definitely won’t be defeated by him.”

    “Ah, no use in complaining. First, I must breakthrough from an Initiate to become a Ki Refiner. Therefore, I can become the inner sect student and learn stronger martial arts!.” Despite his status as direct ascendant to main family’s patriarch, he must abide the sect rules and tradition.

    Felt the pain is gone, Teng Jiang got up from the bed and carefully removed the bandages. The wound was somehow already healed until it became a tiny scar. It appears that Teng Nuan had applied a super effective healing medicine. Her image flashed in his mind as he smiled. He left the infirmary.

    The sky was orange; the sun almost disappeared and the stars began to twinkle. It was dusk already. The lanterns along the thin pillars shone the corridor. Teng Jiang walked on the wooden floor. There was someplace he wished to visit.

    ---

    Somewhere near the infirmary, where Teng Jiang rested, two boys were walking on the wooden floor. They both wore grey training robe and were carrying a sheathed saber. They’ve finished their training and shuffled through the corridor.

    “Hey, did you hear that young master Teng Jiang was defeated?” The boy with ponytail asked the person beside him.

    “Hear? I watched the whole fight!” The chubby boy laughed. His round white cheek turned red.

    “Are you serious? Could you tell me the details?”

    “It’s actually… boring. Before the battle began, Bai Yuochen challenged young master Teng Jiang to receive his attack. Then he stabbed young master with his sword and won in just one move.”

    “Wow! How can a mere level 4 Initiate, defeat young master who is already level 9? It should be the way around.”

    “Sister Teng Nuan said that young master is not in the best condition and was injured before.” He wrapped his hands behind the neck.

    “Young master indeed had recently returned from the silver rank school quest two days ago.”

    “Or maybe it’s just an excuse...”

    “Excuse?” A loud voice cut their conversation. They both looked at the person on their back.

    “G-good morning, young master!” They turned to the behind and bowed hastily. Their heart almost jumped and started beating fast.

    “What are you two talking about?” Teng Jiang stood in between them.

    “No-nothing, young master! We were talking about uh... our previous lesson and...uh...” The chubby boy was trembling while explaining. The boy with ponytail added his sentence,

    “...I was too lazy to attend so I asked him to explain the lesson!” His face twitched, forced a smile, hoping Teng Jiang won’t punish them.

    “You both think you can lie to me? How brave for a mere level 6 Initiate.” Teng Jiang lifted his head as he stared down at them.

    “Hii! We’re sorry, young master Teng Jiang! Please forgive our insolence!” The boy with a ponytail pulled the chubby boy neck. They both kneeled.

    “Then you two must bring me some food and drink! Or else...” Teng Jiang cracked his fingers. The two shrunk back and their legs trembled.

    “R-right away, young master!” They quickly raised up and paid a respect again.

    “Good, I’ll be waiting in the garden near the pond. Tell the guard you two have my permission.” Teng Jiang said without looking at them. He continued the stroll.

    ---

    Not long after the two had gone, Teng Jiang found a steep staircase made from stone. All the torches beside the stairs were lit. A man stood, blocking the entrance. He wore leather armor and carried a saber on his waist.

    “Good evening, young master Teng Jiang. Enjoying the garden?” He bowed to Teng Jiang.

    “En. Also, if there are two people bringing some food, let them pass. If not, don’t,” he said while passing by the guard.

    “As you wish, young master.” The guard returned to his post.

    Teng Jiang ascended the stair in the brisk pace. By the time he reached the top, the sun had turned into the moon. He arrived at the garden, greeted by the toad’s croaks.

    The creamy-white and crimson flowers spread almost all over the land in a neat arrangement. The plum trees blossomed, basked under the moonlight. Under the tree adjacent to him, he saw a wide pond filled with water lilies, loti, and fallen leaves. The kois swam beneath them and could be seen without any difficulty, thanks to illumination of the lanterns surrounding it. Teng Jiang sat on one the benches near the pond, beside another plum tree. He viewed the stars, the sect complex, including the city afar. They were glowing like fireflies.

    It’s Teng Jiang’s sweet spot. He always comes here if he has nothing to do or something to think about. He even sometimes slept in here. In the daytime, the garden was always full of people, whether they’re cultivators or not. The place is closed to the public after dark. Gazing at the starry sky, Teng Jiang spoke,

    “Should I challenge him tomorrow? He’s only Initiate level 4. If I’m serious and prepared, I’ll win easily.”

    “Then again, something’s not right. How can he suddenly becomes so strong?” he pondered. In the past, Bai Yuochen was same as an ant in his view, hence he was Teng Jiang’s target of daily bullying and extortion.

    “He must have a secret.”

    ---

    The sound of footsteps drew closer. Teng Jiang looked at the source, at the garden entrance. The two have arrived. The boy with a ponytail carried a tray with a bowl of rice and a steamy soup, while the chubby one carried a cup of water and a chopstick.

    “Here’s your food and drink, young master.”

    “En. Good job you two.” He retrieved and placed them beside him. The food provided warmth to his hands.

    “Where did you get this?” asked Teng Jiang. His eyes narrowed.

    “W-we brought it from the canteen. If we visited the city, we’re afraid it’ll take too long for the young master,” said the boy with a ponytail. His friend fidgeted and rubbed his nape of the neck.

    “Both of you, sit down.” Teng Jiang pointed at the bench beside him. They did as he ordered without any sound. He then asked again, “What’s your name and age?”

    “My name is Fang Weilan, 14 years old.” The boy with ponytail bowed his head. His voice stuttered despite he tried not to.

    “I’m Guo Ji, 14 years old.” The chubby boy too bowed, though not as deep as his friend.

    “Same age as me, eh?” Teng Jiang nodded. The two glanced each other in silent, wondering what’s in the young master’s mind.

    Teng Jiang raised from the bench. He stepped forward and stood in front of the two. His gaze swept between them.

    As the wind blew from Teng Jiang’s right, he spoke, “From now on, you two are my subordinate.”

    “Eh!?”
     
    Last edited: Apr 8, 2017