Novel The Nobody Is Forcefully Reincarnated

Discussion in 'Community Fictions' started by Baron Carpi, Mar 12, 2017.

?

Should I continue this?(Please say no.)

  1. Yes

    29.2%
  2. No

    45.8%
  3. Maybe

    4.2%
  4. I want to see where you're going with this

    20.8%
  5. I don't know

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  1. Baron Carpi

    Baron Carpi 『Wandering Artist』『Bacon』️⚜️

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    Note before reading: After thinking about it, I realized that I started this out of boredom and just to toss some ideas into a story. Therefore, beware, this story may be full of bad tropes influenced by the countless isekai novels I have read and a "simple" writing style since I'm too lazy to write creatively. I'm not aiming for originality here. This is just a story I'll write to pass the time and it's something like making a doodle or sketch. I'm an artist first, and a writer last. However, if that doesn't bother you, I hope you enjoy the story. Everyone has their own taste, so you may or may not like it. I plan to post a chapter at least once per week if I'm not busy doing something else. I don't mind constructive criticism since I could use it if I decide to seriously write an original story with good plot.

    Synopsis:

    A Nobody has a bad week and ends up dying in an accident. Of course, it's a truck.

    Then he is transported into a dark space that looks like the night sky.

    He's not alone though.

    [Welcome to my domain~]

    Table of Contents:
    Prologue







    Prologue

    "Hah... Hah... Hah... "

    Hi! You might be wondering what I'm doing right now. No?

    Well, you see I'm having a nice jog through a nice neighborhood. It's cool outside at night, so I decided why the hell not. The weather is just perfect.

    "Hey! Stop running!"

    Oh, why hello there man with a knife.

    "I'll stab ya!"

    Would you like to join me for some night time exercise? No? Sigh.

    Alright... You probably already noticed. What I'm really doing is trying my best to get away from this asshole with a knife. It's hard since I don't really exercise much. I turn around to take a look at him. He looks like a shady fellow with a slim build wearing a gray hoodie, black jeans, and a surgical mask. Let's call him Slim Shady.

    "Oi! Stop running so I could st- I mean talk to you!" (Slim Shady)

    No! Just fuck off. As if telling me to stop will make me suddenly halt my feet. And you were going to say stab there right? You even said it earlier! Why don't you stop chasing me bastard!

    I'll admit. I admire his tenacity to thoroughly search for my address online. Maybe I shouldn't have trolled him in that game(lol), but I didn't expect him to look for me. Well, too late to complain now since he's already chasing me. It's amazing how I could think clearly in this kind of situation.

    This isn't the first time someone or something tried to kill me. It's been going on for a week now and I don't know why. It's like that one movie about the guy who cheated Death by having a premonition then he and his friends started to die one by one.

    ***

    One week ago.

    As I was going home from my job at the convenience store, I heard a sudden screech and a truck almost hit me! Luckily, it missed and it hit the light post behind. Damn, that was close. I almost ended up as chunks of flesh on the side of the road and reincarnating like in those web novels I used to read all the time. Well, I won't bore you with the details of the police and the driver, so I'll skip that. I thought I was lucky, until the next day.

    On my way to work, I was just walking on the sidewalk minding my own business when suddenly a flower pot fell down in front of me from the highest floor of a five-story apartment complex and almost hit my head. I didn't mind it at the time, but then it happened again. This time, a guy with a mask came to rob the store, but fortunately my boss kept a shotgun hidden under the counter and I scared him off after the robber shot a couple of bullets. I looked behind me, and I see a smoking hole where I was standing earlier.

    You know what they say, Third time's the charm. I don't know if I'm lucky to have survived so far, or unlucky because I almost died again. Sigh. Maybe I'm just having a bad week. The next day, nothing happened and I was ecstatic, so I decided to celebrate it at a cheap restaurant. However, when I woke up this morning and turned on the TV to watch the news, the story shocked me.

    "A local restaurant shut down today due to health concerns after one of the customers fainted after eating a certain dish..." (Reporter)

    Turned out their was some sort of toxin in the food that I almost ordered.

    ...

    Seriously?

    The next three days were surprisingly calm and peaceful. Of course, I didn't let down my guard and was paranoid the whole time. I don't know if the stress got to me, but I let out my anger playing some shooting games online. I even trolled some people(lol). There was one guy, who seemed to take it too seriously and threatened he would come and find me. I didn't believe it at first, so I mocked him. Then tonight, I found him in front of my apartment wielding a knife.

    "What's up, bitch?" (Slim Shady)

    ***

    And that's how it happened.

    "Hah... Hah... Hah..."

    I turned the corner and found myself in a dead end.

    "Hah... hah... Shit... hah... hah... "

    I turned around and Slim Shady was behind me.

    "I'll turn your guts into spaghetti!" (Slim Shady)

    Pfft. Seriously? Spaghetti?

    After saying that, he ran forward and tried to stab me. Yeah, I'm not dying today. I decided to copy what I saw in a martial art documentary. I turned my body trying to dodge the knife and went for his wrist. I managed to grab it letting the momentum pull him forward and kicked his legs making him trip and drop his knife. I didn't miss the opportunity, so I picked up his knife and went for the kill. Long story short, he bled to death. Is it wrong that I don't feel anything about killing this guy? Maybe all the violent video games has desensitized me to this kind of thing.

    [Why didn't you just accept my blessing?]

    Huh? Am I hearing things? And why does my leg itch?

    [You should have just let him kill you.]

    What... the... hell?

    [You're surprisingly tough to kill, you know.]

    Before I could retort to the voice inside my head, some cops came with their guns pointed at me.

    Oh great! Just what I need: Some trigger-happy cops. Can this day get any worse?

    "Drop the knife!" (Policeman A)

    "Put your hands up!" (Policeman B)

    I quickly dropped the knife and complied, but for some reason I'm still feeling really itchy. It feels like some ants are crawling near my pocket and biting my leg.

    [Huhuhuhu... Feeling itchy?]

    A playful voice rang in my head.

    [Why don't you scratch it?]

    Oh hell no. Then I realized something.

    Oi! Is this your doing?!

    Since I could hear it inside my head, I assumed it must be something like telepathy, so I decide to communicate with whoever it is.

    [Come on already! Just scratch it. It's easy~]

    No! Just fuck off already. Ugh.. The itchy feeling just got more intense!

    The cops started to move forward, without putting away their weapons.

    Somehow, I managed to not reach for my pocket to scratch it. I managed to avoid a tragedy here.

    [tsk]

    Did you just click your tongue at me?!

    As I was led to the police car, I heard the sound of a vehicle coming.

    [Huhuhuhuhuhuhu...]

    Yeah. That laughter is bad...

    All of a sudden, a huge truck came out of nowhere and ran into us. The cops managed to jump away, but I was hit as I tripped because one of the cops pushed me by accident.

    In the end, after dodging all the things that tried to kill me, I still end up dying by the first thing that missed. And really? A truck? What a cliche...

    ...

    Ah. I forgot to introduce myself. I guess it doesn't matter anymore since I'm dead, but...

    Just call me Nobody since I'm nothing special.

    Why 'Nobody'?

    I don't know. It was the first word that came to mind.

    I was just an average person you could find anywhere. My life was simple and boring, but it didn't bother me so much that I wanted to die.

    Oh well...

    Whatever...

    Heaven or hell here I come...

    ***
    ...

    Huh? I thought I died. Where am I?

    [Welcome to my domain~.]

    Looks like it's not over yet.




    To be continued...
    Maybe...
    I don't know...

    ...And that's the story. It's nothing original, right? After this is your typical reincarnation story where he gets a power and a new name(maybe). Well, we'll see...
     
    Last edited: Mar 30, 2017
  2. SoulZer0

    SoulZer0 Heaven Refining

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  3. NinjaEnvy

    NinjaEnvy M Assassin

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    I like it!!!
     
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  4. NZPIEFACE

    NZPIEFACE Leecher

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    surprisingly bad
     
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  5. Baron Carpi

    Baron Carpi 『Wandering Artist』『Bacon』️⚜️

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    Thanks. :)
     
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  6. Baron Carpi

    Baron Carpi 『Wandering Artist』『Bacon』️⚜️

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    Honest comments are good too. (y)
     
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  7. NinjaEnvy

    NinjaEnvy M Assassin

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    Hehe.. You should continue it.. I like the way you write and your story..
     
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  8. Congelation

    Congelation Active Member

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    It has potential and I would personally like to see where this goes :).
     
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  9. NZPIEFACE

    NZPIEFACE Leecher

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    Started off good, then it slowly went down the drain.
    Scratch that, not slowly.

    Kinda like a falling object. It accelerates at a high rate until it reaches terminal velocity where it just can't go faster. It's kinda like that
     
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  10. Baron Carpi

    Baron Carpi 『Wandering Artist』『Bacon』️⚜️

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    Haha. Like the flower pot in the story.

    I think it might help me improve if you tell me at which point it started falling.

    I'm open to constructive criticism.
     
  11. Deleted member 41274

    Deleted member 41274 Guest

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    MOTHERFUCKERRRRRR lol jk

    BUT you killed eminem there

    lol spaghetti rly? mom's spaghetii ah calm and ready to drop bombs but he keeps on forgetting XD

    and that final destination reference though

    honestly? amazing... *clap clap*

    @Baron Carpi I wished mc never died to begin with :)
     
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  12. Deleted member 41274

    Deleted member 41274 Guest

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    just don't let mc die and you have original story, well it's similar to final destination but with only one mc kekeke
     
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  13. NZPIEFACE

    NZPIEFACE Leecher

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    Suspension on disbelief is broken in the first line of the dialogue, as it is used as slapstick humor, with about 2 lines of buildup.

    Narration is from 2nd person. Interesting at first, until the "you" in context keeps changing.

    Self-depreciating main character, even though we know nothing of them.

    Situation they're in is basically a bundle of bad tropes.

    Voice in head seems bloody psychotic with sudden changes in mood. Make a more consistent personality.
     
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  14. Baron Carpi

    Baron Carpi 『Wandering Artist』『Bacon』️⚜️

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    Thanks.:D

    This was more of a rough draft anyway and nothing too serious.

    I'll probably continue for a couple more chapters as a test.
     
  15. Deleted member 41274

    Deleted member 41274 Guest

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    yay good news ;)(y)
     
  16. NZPIEFACE

    NZPIEFACE Leecher

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    please, just write something with a decent plot and good grammar.
     
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  17. NinjaEnvy

    NinjaEnvy M Assassin

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    "Oi! Stop running so I could st- I mean talk to you!" (Slim Shady)

    "I'll turn your guts into spaghetti!" (Slim Shady)

    The way that the killer talks is so immature and stupid like some young master of Chinese novels..
    Although stupid enemy is kinda funny sometimes.. But i dont want the MC to always battle stupid people..
     
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  18. raxadian

    raxadian Well-Known Member

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    Needs editing but good idea.
     
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  19. Novel otaku desu

    Novel otaku desu 『R0 Trickster』『Sleeping Fox』『Desucchi』

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    Continue? Pls continue~
     
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