The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System fan fiction

Pfffft. So. Who wants to read another of my works? But not Scum Villain.

 

Me! I want to!

 

Pffft.
Gonna pm you then.

 

Me ME mememememem~!!!! Count me in~!!! Pm me too!!!

 

pmed you already, lol.

 

thanks

 

Dang, is everyone on discord and no longer posting here much?

 

They all became lurkers. :V I did leave one of my other works on discord though.

 

Me please owo

 

I would love to read please also there's a discord?

 

pmed you.

pmed you too. Comment here or in pm as you please.

 

It is December. I AM LATE.
I am now switching from candies to presents.

PRESENTS.

Spoiler

ATDSVT-Sun Jin
***
When you left a group of Sentai (whatever the hell that is) fighting an evil cultivator or demonic cultivator that is their destined rival, you generally expect that will be the end of it, right?

Apparently this was wrong, because Sun Jin is awakened by the sound of zapping or rather thunder booming. As was Daomei who was cuddling him like a teddy bear, an act which Sun Jin allowed with great forbearance and tolerance last night.

And petting him while he did it until he was practically purring was not inappropriate at all, godsdamnit. Half of Cang Qiong thinks they're engaged anyway.

Ah. There is a Sentai twitching at the door. He looks kind of slightly crispy and sooty around the edges. His clothes seemed to have taken much of the damage, they look like they were ground zero of an explosion. The other three males look like they suffered the same fate, while the sole female looks disheveled and almost pristine.

Clearly the four men took most of the damage to save her. Equally clearly they only managed to endure the first layer and haven't triggered the second. Yet.
If they had persisted in trying to break past it, they would all have died.

"We just came to thank you for your help." said one of the men. Under normal circumstances he would have been considered handsome, as would the others. They have the standard built like a bear guy, the tall, thin polearm guy, the short, thin, kind of delicate guy who could probably pull off a nice crossdressing....and then the all around heroic looking fellow.
"But we were injured by this trap you laid." The man continued, trying to lay the guilt on thickly.

"Oh, that's in case of demonic cultivators." Sun Jin says mildly, standing at the door... fully armed. As is Daomei who is looking profoundly disgruntled at having his cuddle time ended. He only recently got the chance to cuddle openly and then this happens. Daomei is about ready to throw all of these five people out of the nearest window.

"Oh." Well that deflates the man's attempt to try for guilting. Now it is clearly time for the new tactics.

"Have you thought of joining our sect?" The lovely lady smiles at Sun Jin, clearly about to try feminine wiles.

"I already am in a sect." Sun Jin points out. "Both of us are in Cang Qiong Mountain Sect."

"Well, yes but surely if you joined ours then you would have higher to climb in rank..." the lady continues, displaying the typical blush and bashful perfect white lotus demeanor, glancing at him every so often to see if it is having an effect. "I mean, Cang Qiong's Qing Jing Peak and Bai Zhan Peak probably have successors by now..."

As the spiel goes on, Sun Jin thinks, 'And you want us to bring our training to your sect for free, right? Since if we defect and change sects you basically get access to our stuff and everyone is already assuming that Shizun's personal apprentices in one of the arts- mokuton, or doton is going to be the chosen child, huh?

Not interested.Daomei looks like he's all but growling. This amuses me, and it's cute but I have no idea why it's so cute.'

"I'm quite happy with my sect." Sun Jin says decisively.

"As am I," Daomei glares at the girl. He doesn't like her. He doesn't like her being near Sun Jin. He doesn't like her white lotus act!

"And, I'm also in a relationship" Sun Jin pats Daomei's shoulder, startling Daomei out of his homicidal urges. "With this man."

Daomei lights up like a lantern. Smugly he smiles as the girl turns crimson with humiliation, frustration and embarrassment, and starts preparing for an exit with a little dignity. She apparently expected him to be really into her, and has probably tried this innocent white lotus thing on other recruitment pitches before, while the other four men talk about how awesome their sect is.

Except they had to skip the awesome sect talk because Cang Qiong is the best. Obviously.

Sun Jin will, of course, want children to carry the Suli family name, but he is still young, and that is a matter for much later. He is not in a hurry.

If he can find any other descendants or cousins, he probably won't even need to consider that, because he can probably raise one of their offspring.

So the priority is to try to track down anyone with the blood other than himself. While he did have the discussion with his uncle and he was planning to go looking for the other men who had designs or pressed their suit for his mother, that will go much faster if he can send these people off before he goes looking for them.

Spoiler

ATDSVT-A Thousand and One Nights- The G Side
***
Why the hell is That Man being turned into a small, fluffy black and tan cream puff of a dog?

I don't understand. Not that I'm complaining for my deliverance from being assaulted. Thank you strange fairy manwherever you may be... but why a pomeranian? For that matter, why a dog at all? I like dogs and cats. I even like hamsters and rabbits and guinea pigs....

(Even if I know the rodents are edible and delicious if cooked properly, which leaves me with a massive guilt complex over killing the furry puffballs. I always have to kill them as quickly and painlessly as possible because otherwise I might get horribly attached and then I'll end up with pets instead of lunch.)

Why not a scorpion or a black widow spider or... or something that suits his tendency to maul me to death? Something I can kill without guilt?

But no. No. He is a dog. He is a pomeranian. He is a ludicrously cute little cream puff comfection with very expressive eyebrows and an adorable puppy dog smile.

Fuck it. I'm conflicted. My instincts tell me to cuddle the doge and pet the doge and fuss over the doge... but at the same time he is That Man, who cannot be trusted.

Fuck my life.

I may as well pet him. It's not like I can strike him down when he's pouncing me as a fluffy furball anyway.

At least he's tiny and has no opposable thumbs or hands.

He can't maul me like this. I can afford to be nice to him instead of running the hell away.

Besides, as a tiny pomeranian, how is he to defend himself if I don't keep him from being eaten by wild beasts or turned into a fur muff?

Spoiler

***
ATDSVT- A Thousand and One Nights- The G Side
***

"You what." I say, eyebrows twitching, and wanting to clean my ears out, because I must have heard this wrong.

"I've fallen in love with you." That Man says with a soft and soulful expression that would probably have melted the hearts of anyone else who was looking at him as he held my hand, looking down at me as if I was 'made of finest jade' or some similar shitty local saying.

Turning my palm up, he pressed a kiss to it and raised it to his cheek to nuzzle into it, lean into it.

How romantic. Except not.

That probably would have worked on anyone else, but not me. Not after the hell that he put me through.

"I know I hurt you badly, and I regret it. I want to start over."

I don't even have to think about my response. "Hell, NO."

He looks startled. I bite down on the long, long list of things I would rather do. Stab myself in the heart, for one. Self detonate or self destruct, for another. Walk into Mordor. Insult the God Emperor of Mankind. Take one of Khorne's shiny skills from his skull throne. Moon Malfeas. Get turned to tang in End of Evangelion. Get crushed under a massive boulder or in a crushing trap or under rubble. Poison myself to death in any one of several thousand variants.

I also bite down on the rest of my reply. A million, billion times no. Infinity times no. Strike me down with tribulation lightning or Green Sun smiting, but still, fuck, NO.

***
"No?" That Man asks, brows furrowing in displeasure or... or whatever. I don't want to know what he's thinking. I want my hand back. That's exactly why I'm pulling away or trying to. I'm failing. His grip on my wrist is too strong, it feels like my bones will be ground to powder, my eyes are damp with pain.

He looks lost and confused now, and I don't trust it. He loosens his grip on my hand and I finally squirm free, take a few steps back. Bruises bloom quickly, purple on my pale arm and he looks stricken and reaches for it again. I dodge. Move back further.

"I don't want you," I bite out.

"I don't want to have anything to do with you," I reiterate, rubbing my injured wrist, ready to run.

He looks hurt and miserable. Are those tears in his eyes?

"Why?" He asks, quite pitifully. "Why won't you give me a chance?"

"Because there are billions of ways to die and many of them hurt a hell of a lot less and are over much quicker!" I snap, barely refraining from listing the many, many ways of dying that hurt less than what he has already done to me.

He looks like he has been turned to stone by sheer horror.

"Don't give me that goddamn look!" I snarl, "You know exactly what you did!"

I take a deep breath and grind out, in front of his miserable, horrified expression words I shouldn't even have to remind him of. He knows what he did to me. He does.

"You ripped my limbs off on multiple occasions, raped me, broke my limbs, hamstrung me, kept violating me and now, you regret it?" I ask, voice raised in disbelief. "NOW?!"

That Man is really going to win awards for the soulful, pitiful regretful looks. He really would. And if this was goddamn Twilight, he would probably get away with it.

Too bad for him, I'm no Bella Swann.

"I did not know what you were really like.." he offers...

Lamely, in my opinion! That's the shittiest excuse I have ever heard!

And that is exactly what I say to him, expressing my disbelief. "That is the shittiest excuse I have ever heard. And I have heard a lot of bullshit."

"I treated you honestly as an ally." I point out, as brutally blunt as I could make it. "And in return, you hurt me so badly I wished I was dead."

By ripping my fucking limbs off and raping me. You utter unmitigated douchecanoe.

"You've been calling me Shizun, and I don't even goddamn know you! You certainly don't resemble any of my current or past students and none of them would have done to me what you've been doing. For a goddamn year!"

"Students?!" That Man looks perturbed.

I resolve not to speak to That Man of them further. He might try to kill them. It would be just like him to do that sort of shit, I wouldn't put it past him.

Instead I shift topics. Reiterating my stance again, stepping backwards over and over and over to get further away from him.

"I don't know you. I've never seen you before you came and wrecked me. I have no idea why you did it. I don't want you. I don't want anything to do with you. I don't want to see you ever again. I don't want to hear from you." I dodge his hand which reached out to grab mine, "I don't want to get to know you. And I don't want to ever meet you. Because I don't want to give you another chance to leave me a bleeding wreckage. Like you did for an entire. goddamn. year. Am I clear?"

"I know I did everything wrong. I regret it. Please give me a chance to make up for my mistakes!" He pleads.

No. Fuck you. I mean, go fuck yourself, I refuse.

I'm standing on the edge of a precipice, nothing but air at my back, and jagged rocks and the sea below.

"No." I say, and then deliberately let myself fall, triggering the self destruct even as I do.

Spoiler

ATDSVT- A Thousand and One Nights-The G Side
***
I should have known better. But no. I had to cuddle the dog. I had to pet the dog. I had to give the dog treats and carry him around like a stuffed toy. I had to hug the dog.

Now That Man is claiming he has fallen in love with me because I treated him so kindly, so tenderly and so gently, when he was small and helpless. Which... clearly means when he was a dog. Since I have never met him before. That time when I saved him from the lizards doesn't count. He wasn't small.

He's looking at me like I'm made of finest jade again, an expression of utter longing and it is profoundly disconcerting.

Clearly he wants to put his hands on me again, but fuck you, no. No. Just. NO.

I have a hand on the trigger for my self destruct, and I'm standing on a ledge again, deliberately.

He's keeping his distance because he doesn't want me to jump.

"If you think you owe me so much for that, then I want you to stay..." the hell "...away from me, permanently." I say as firmly as possible.

He looks horrified by the very idea. The "NO." he exclaims is so obvious it's almost an afterthought.

It's not working but at least we are in a mexican standoff, even if I must needs hold my own wellbeing and body as a hostage to do it.

I'm holding myself as a goddamn hostage to fend off the man who fell in love with me when I took care of him after he got turned into a dog.

And he wants cuddles. He wants to cuddle me. He wants me to wrap my arms around him, just like I used to when he was small and furry and let him touch me, or...or kiss me or whatever..

He says I let him kiss me before.

Dude, you were a dog.

A. DOG.

A. FURRY. ANIMAL. THE SIZE OF A TEDDY BEAR. A SMALL TEDDY BEAR.

Letting you lick my fingers or not smacking your nose when you try and succeed at licking my face doesn't mean I'm ever going to be willing to kiss you!

My mind is screaming incoherently and frantically trying to buffer the words so that this can make sense and it isn't working.

Why the hell is this my life?!

 

I want to say, Poor Bingge.... But... No, I won't. You reap what you sow, Bingge... And you reap it hard.

 

pfffft. Did you read the doc? What do you think of it?

 

I read it. I have to say though: what in the world am I reading? and then my thoughts quickly change to: okay, Im liking this, where's the continuity?

PS: thanks for the presents

 

Also, for the front, it would be great if you change how you space them. I preferred it closer together and not double lines. And a larger front please? At 12 front size?

 

pfffft. You are reading the character log for the campaign that one of G's past lives (and some of his children) are based on.

In short, you are seeing an alternate version of a past campaign of the G. Though in G's world, the main character and alternate were actually two fetich souls by the end of it. G's original campaign had no romance. G basically made a copy of the data of that campaign, re-dated it to some centuries after the first campaign and then kept the copied data as his 'descendants'. The copied main characters whose viewpoints you are reading were his 'descendants' and their copied campaign data was converted into a world and then they ended up settling down and getting married while G continued on his bachelor way.

 

Who is online?

 

*waving hand enthusiastically*
Thanks for the presents from before Gav!

 

i wanna see more