Writing a novel. Feel free to read away. I can guarantee 2 chapters a week at the very least. 3 or more if I have enough free time. You can read it here royalroadl To any new readers, please head to RoyalRoad to read. The story is undergoing revisions and the first 20 or 30 Chapters you read here may differ from the actual story in addition to having a totally different tone. Genre Action, Tragedy, Fantasy, Psychological, Mature. Synopsis Someone once said "He who fights monsters should see to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." This story is about a boy who stepped into the abyss. Chapters Prologue Chapter:1 Chapter:2 Chapter:3 Chapter:4 Chapter:5 Chapter:6 Chapter:7 Chapter:8 Chapter:9 Chapter:10 Chapter:11 Chapter:12 Chapter:13 Chapter:14 Chapter:15 Chapter:16 Chapter:17 Chapter:18 Chapter:19 Chapter:20 Chapter:21 Chapter:22 Chapter:23 Chapter:24 Chapter:25 Chapter:26 Chapter:27 Chapter:28 Chapter:29 Chapter:30 Chapter:31 Chapter:32
Prologue: Spoiler: Read more "You're doing a great service to the cause, Emily." A middle-aged man dressed in black clergy robes spoke to a woman of similar age wearing simpler robes. "Thank you Grand Priest...but, will this really work?" " Be at ease, Emily, he will surely reward us. Now let's begin." As the conversation ended, figures in black hooded robes climbed steps to a platform, each of them surrounding a child with dark brown hair chained to an altar in the center. "Dad...Mom...why?" The child spoke in a confused voice, looking up exposing his brown eyes filled with confusion. "This is for your, good, Siegfried. Rejoice in your fortune, for even I envy you." The Grand Priest responded. "Emily prepare the ceremonial dagger." "Yes, Grand Priest." Emily bowed before giving her son an apathetic look. Meanwhile, the seven hooded figures began chanting while inscribing a sigil in blood around the altar. "Oh Progenitor of the void, please accept the vessel we offer unto you." The bloody sigil depicted three wolves, circling a fourth wolf painted in the center of the altar. "The dagger is prepared, Grand Priest." Emily handed a pitch black dagger dripping with an ominous liquid to the Priest. "Thank you, Emily." The priest walked to the altar staring at the young boy. "Dad..." The boy looked at his father with a face stained with tears. "My son..." The Grand Priest looked at the boy, madness apparent in his eyes. "You've made your father very proud!" He raised the dagger and carved a sigil onto his son's hand. "AAAAAAAAAAHHH!" The boys scream resounded all around, reaching only ears deaf to his pain. "It's only a scratch, Siegfried." Emily stared at her son, showing no emotion. "It's only just beginning Siegfried. Find solace in your pain, your life will grant us power." The dagger was raised to his chest and began cutting letters into his flesh. "PLEEEEEEEAASE!" The boy yelled in a hoarse voice, Tears decorating his face. The Priest continued, unbothered by the screams, mechanically using the dagger to write ancient letters on his son's flesh. "STOP! IM SORRY! PLEASE STOP!" The boy writhed in agony hoping for anyone to stop his father. Black blood dripped onto the ground. Seeing the blood Emily spoke excitedly. "The poison is beginning to work!" The eyes of the seven hooded figures gleamed with anticipation. One by one, the wolves drawn in blood began glowing before turning black. The priest nodded his head once before stepping back. "It's time to start, begin the ritual." The seven figures stepped forward each unsheathing a dagger. "Emily began!" The Priest yelled fervently as his eyes bulged in excitement. Emily raised her hands slowly and began speaking. "Oh Void Wolf, hear us call to you, we offer an innocent child raised for 7 years in ignorance to suffering." The room began shaking wildy as the nine people in the room began breathing heavily, joy clearly written on their faces. Siegfried's body began spasming, his hair turning pitch black, while his eyes began glowing yellow. The sound of his bones breaking spread throughout the room. Crack! Crack! Crack! Crack! "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" The Priest smiled widely and spoke. "We will now cleanse the vessel!" He nodded towards the 7 figures. One by one they stepped up. The seven figures raised their daggers while their hands trembled in excitement. "N..No..o." Siegfried protested weakly as his eyes looked on in horror. The seven figures ignored him and began stabbing enthusiastically. Shik. Shik. Shik. Shik. Shik. Shik. Shik. Shik. Shik. Shik. "AAAAARGHH..." Cough. cough. Siegfried coughed black blood as the seven figures continued tearing into his flesh, the poison that coated his Father's dagger enhanced the pain. Slowly, Siegfried stopped his struggle, choking on his own blood. Gurgle. His hands went limp as his yellow eyes dimmed, heat gradually receding from his body. 'Why? Did I do something wrong? Mother? Father?' His last thoughts wouldn't be heard by those in the room. The seven figures eventually stopped stabbing when all signs of life receded. The Priest and Emily walked closer. Nine people stood in a circle staring at a lifeless body. Smiles were painted on their faces. 'Truly an innocent boy!.' The priest silently thought to himself. "Use this humble body as your vessel!" Emily said while shaking. The previously motionless body began to show signs of movement. A faint black mist emerged from the pores of the body and soon after it spread throughout the room. The nine people in the room trembled jubilantly and kneeled on the ground awaiting for possession of the "vessel". More and more black mist poured out congealing into a silhouette of a wolf. The wolf hovered above Siegfried's body. Sending a single glance towards the kneeling people before staring at Siegfried. For a while it was silent as the faint black mist moved around the room as if it were alive. The 9 people began to get nervous but felt excitement deep down. The priest couldn't help but peek at the incorporeal God before him but when he tried to look he felt an unbearable soul ripping pressure causing him feel suffocated. " Haaah." The priest gasped for air eventually catching his breath as blood dripped from his nose. The translucent Wolf slowly redirected its gaze to the 9 people again. Its mouth opened and an incredibly deep voice sounded out shaking the room. "Nine of you receiving immortality, in exchange for one life." Although the words sounded full of criticism the tone was one of indifference not portraying any particular emotion. Everyone became too nervous to speak but still had eyes full expectations. The priest cupped his hands and began speaking. "My Lord, we would-" "That wasn't what I asked." The voice interrupted sounding slightly annoyed causing the room to shake and the mist to stir. The priest quickly prostrated. "Yes my lord! This one begs for forgiveness!" "I see." The Wolf redirected his gaze towards Siegfried as if searching for something. "And the boy?" An indifferent tone once again resounded making it hard to guess the intentions. "Pardon me, my lord! This one-" "That wasn't what I asked you." The voice began to leak with a, hard to detect, trace of annoyance, the room shook even more and the mist violently stirred. "I would advise you to think , before you speak again." The other eight kneeling people began to bleed from their noses while silently cursing the priest. "Apologies my lord!" The priest slammed his head onto the ground. "The boy is no longer needed, my lord." The priest forced a smile. "Is he not your only son? Reviving him would be a trivial task." The priest thought for a while before speaking. "He's outlived his usefulness, my lord, in addition, he was raised knowing very little of worldly matters, children can be replaced, reviving him would be pointless my lord." The Wolf made of black mist stared at the man for a while. "Since he outlived his usefulness he is no longer needed?" "Yes my lord!" The priest responded quickly without hearing the implications behind the question. "Then..." The Wolf paused while the mist stirred silently. Rising higher and higher. For the first time the Wolf slowly opened its eyes, two yellow fluorescent lights shown. "Why do I need any of you?" The 9 people felt pure terror in their heart's wishing they could run away and yet no one could find the strength to move. "P-Please My Lor-" "To dust." The 9 bodies shook violently. Aging rapidly. "Please it wasn't my fault spare me, he forced me to give up my son!" Emily now looking twice her original age pleaded desperately wishing to find an escape. "You'd lie to me?" The Wolf said coldly. It raised its leg and stomped down. Though it had a body made of mist it carried an overpowering force with it, crushing Emily instantly. Crush! Seeing Emily being reduced to a pile of ash the remaining eight people to feel dread. The priest regretted not saying something else and instead of rushing to answer. The Wolf looked straight ahead intensely. All of a sudden the remaining eight men aged rapidly, slowly withering, eventually becoming into dust. The Wolf once again stared at the child. The mist slowly expanded grabbing a book hidden within the robes of the priest with it. On the cover of the book was the sigil of 4 wolves. It slowly disappeared into the mist. The Wolf began to blend with the black mist, eventually, the mist covered everything. The ground shook violently and the mist rose. Then all was quiet. The mist disappeared along with the body of Siegfried. Riiiiiiip! A tear occurred in the space above the altar as a black pillar of mist rose into the sky. Within a few miles of the surrounding area, plants wilted and animals dropped dead before decaying into black sand. All trees became petrified turning black. It seemed time sped up thousands of years in an instant. Though the pillar rose in a remote location it was visible thousands of thousands of miles round. People everywhere seen the pillar of mist and felt a creeping chill. "Gods help us!" "Gods guide us!" "Protect us!" ................................................... Within a palace, a King was having a conversation that was identical to many leaders around the world. "My King!" A minister bowed politely as he began to report the situation. "My King, mages are reporting through transmission, the black pillar was spotted all over the Continent, they also say it's more than likely that the continents of Parv and Telvane have seen it as well. Our sources report the major Parvian Houses are convening and the Telven Empire is reorganizing its military. In addition, many noble holds under our Grenitian kingdom are stirring. Many claim it's a warning from the Gods. The Diavol and the Dark Elves are also showing movements." "Aah!" "Can't be." "Will it involve our Kingdom again?" "Another great calamity? " Many nobles began whispering as an ominous atmosphere permeated the room. "Quiet!" The King rose from his throne, causing the nobles to quiet down. "It has been more than one thousand years since the last time an event like that happened, the Grenitian Kingdom rebuilt and survived, did it not?" Many nobles nodded in silence. The King began contemplating. "Tell all the Noble houses to train their sons and monitor their people within their own territories any outstanding talents are to be sent to the capital for further training no matter the origin, all conflicts, and blood feuds are to cease until further notice or they will be deemed enemies of the kingdom." "As you will my King." "Any other matters?" "My King, there is nothing else. The minister bowed. "Then if that's all." The King waved his hand. ....................................................
Nice stuff, but one line in the end here: “The child of purity is also gone.” How do these guys know about our protag?
The 9 of you seek immortality at the cost of one life and a few words.” Although the words sounded full of criticism the tone was one of indifference not portraying any particular emotion. Everyone became too nervous to speak but still had eyes full expectations. The priest cupped his hands and began speaking. “My Lord, we woul-” “That wasn’t what I asked” There's actually no question asked, making the following conversation seem redundant and a bit forced. For a prologue it does it efficiently I guess. None of the characters were given a memorable personality to the reader and it only sets the precedent of the story. Basically, your prologue is straight to the point and doesn't seem interested in setting up a character but more interested in setting up the plot, which is what I'm assuming you were aiming for. It seems a bit rushed, but considering it's a prologue and the reasons I've stated above, I'm sure it was intentional. There was considerable grammatical and spelling errors, but considering you only spent 6 hours on the premise of the idea, then writing out the story, then changing bits and so on I'm assuming you didn't edit as well. All in all, it's an alright foundation in my opinion.
I know I didn't go into detail about the abilities of the Gods but the Goddess of Honor of Virtue (Ori) can sense truly pure existences.
boring. I skipped most of it. 1- too much talk, and too fewer expressions, and description. However, don't write huge paragraphs of descriptions after this review. 2- too many unconnected words mixed in like wolf, kingdom of nothingness, voids, god of this and that. It seems you have no story, so you decided to add extreme words to get attention, but it affects quite the contrary. 3- no original, or good story. An ordinary dark story with big and extreme words. you will probably keep the story dark, and dark stories without humor and calm mc are destined to perish because people will get sick of the constant darkness and abandon reading.
It's only the prologue for now and I thought to set the stage for a bigger plot. I'll definitely take this into consideration thank you. Thank you.
Well I'm imagining a MC driven by the tragedy here , as long as that is fulfilled the story itself seems good to follow. Don't think so, the surroundings and the atmosphere seem to be described as needed in the situation. Well not everyone is fond of CN-like descriptions where you have to skim 3/4th of the text . Hmm, Dungeon Defense comes to mind. AFAIK people here like Dark, calculating MCs. Well as for whether comedy is there or not, the chaps later will decide