Weird descriptions of beauty on Chinese novels

Just as the title says, I am trying to compile a list of weird beauty descriptions from Chinese novels. I think it would be hilarious to share them with a friend, as I have seen some weird ones. Comparing a woman's skin to sheep's fat jade I give a pass to, as I have no familiarity with it. It is just a weird name for jade.
I'm talking about stuff like how a woman looks like she will break from a touch (as a good thing somehow). Or saying that a woman looks like if you squeezed her skin water would come out (maybe something to do with youth?). Or describing a woman as boneless (there are way better ways to compliment flexibility). Or saying her skin is almost translucent. That kind of thing. Seriously, if I ran into a boneless, wet, woman with translucent skin I wouldn't be like "wow! What a beauty!".
So please give me some new ones in the comments or links to quotes from when these things were said, so I can prove it to my friends when they inevitably don't believe me.

 

There is such 'woman'... an inflatable doll.

 

A wet, boneless woman with translucent skin? You just described Suu from Monster Musume.

 

Her skin was as white as freshly fallen snow.
I tell you...that woman is an albino!!

 

Or dutch wife

 

If you had asked me when I first started reading CN, I might have had examples to share....now those descriptions just sound normal, interestingly exact or beautiful.

 

Spoiler: Jade-skin beauty.

 

As all the jade I ever saw was green, glistening and cold to the touch. Everytime I read "jade skinned", I see in my mind some kind sickly, greasy she-hulk or Fiona (from Shrek)...

Spoiler: Jade skinned beauty

 

Eyes like limpid autumn waters.

 

sounds normal to me.

 

In doulou Dalu there was something about her soulless and limpid gaze was what any man would treasure (I don't remember the exact quote at all)

 

It's actually squeeze them and milk will come out, squishy like a baby, phoenix-eyes (seriously, do they shoot beams?), enough to topple a kingdom (and I thought Snorlax was heavy), and I remember some girl described as with legs so long I could only imagine this

 

I think weird is taking it too far
Colorful or exaggerated is a better word. Just because you don't understand something does not make it weird.
Even English uses flowery language in works like Shakespeare and some well known published authors still do. Just because self publishing has become a thing doesn't mean true literature is dead. You just have to spend money to buy it
My 2.5 cents

#Save Literature from Dweebs

Dweebs like myself...

https://www.quora.com/Why-is-it-so-hard-to-read-classics

 

Yup. That happens.

 

Just consider descriptions of beauty like the superfluous bun. You don't need it but it comes included.
I think I met my comedy quota for the week. See you all next week... Phir Milenge Chalte Chalte

 

Phoenix eyes is actually a type of eye shape...
https://m.imgur.com/2VLtYNJ?r

 

jade

 

it is not sheep's fat jade, it is mutton jade.

someone never seen a mutton jade apparently. or an image of it.

also, 'squeezed her skin water would come out' is sexual-ish describing a woman

but most importantly, different culture views beauty differently. and describes them using different metaphor. mocking other ppl's culture just shows immaturity and shallow thinking, imho

 

The wet one probably refers to supple skin
White jade I think is smooth and fair,
Chinese beauty standards are hard to achieve

 

lol :'D