Discussion What's the Most Hurtful Thing a Friend Did To You

None taken~! I do realize that was one of my faults, but I never wanted to be one nor is my personality really suited to be one but I don' t know why teachers and classmates alike likes to appoint me as a leader. Letter A and I are practically the same... except she's beautiful and moe like and I have a resting bitch face but is definitely not a fighter personality so I was thinking maybe it's because of that And well for the record, that was the only time my leadership actually flunked and my very first experience where members of mine didn't actually deliver what I expected of them and gosh this is such a stain in my life T___T

As for your ps... if that happened I guess we'll be not in talking terms MUCH, MUCH earlier! They are not ones who could take being kicked out especially in an activity such as baby thesis where majority of our grades depend on you see and I guess I don't have the backbone to do it because I get emotionally invested easily...

That's because letter A is the type who is actually poor (not that poor but poorer compared to the rest of the class) but like to pretend otherwise. And I was always taking into consideration about their family's financial status and situation so yeah, I didn't pressure her enough when I know that there are a lot of ways she could do her part and I do bring my laptop practically everyday... and yes I'll take note of everything you said

Well letter B and I are still on speaking terms, he really isn't realiable on academics but he's childish, can be depended on for physical labor and he still makes me laugh so I just treat him like a child. As for letter A, after that I tried so hard to salvage our friendship (see my reply to Shanly) but it never worked out and I eventually stopped.

Why? Does @Ai chan always bully you?

This is copy pasted from my reply to Zeusomega above I do realize that was one of my faults, but I never wanted to be one nor is my personality really suited to be one but I don' t know why teachers and classmates alike likes to appoint me as a leader. Letter A and I are practically the same... except she's beautiful and moe like and I have a resting bitch face but is definitely not a fighter personality so I was thinking maybe it's because of that And well for the record, that was the only time my leadership actually flunked and my very first experience where members of mine didn't actually deliver what I expected of them and gosh this is such a stain in my life T___T also I get emotionally invested easily, especially in this one since they are my friends!

And, uhm, I kinda 'adopted' them you see? Letters C- F and I were more or less hanging out all together on the first few months of our 1st year and is basically a group by then (letter D was actually my longest friend). Letter A, while being one of the most beautiful girls in class, and Letter B despite being a class clown and very energetic are basically loners in those months. Since the two always kinda sat close to our group I finally approached them one day and voila, we clicked and they've been part of the group since

 

She does have a hand phone but it's one of those really cheap ones I think? And she only ever use it for communication and for selfies and since I was always concious of her family's financial situation I never even bothered to ask if her phone can do it so yeah that IS definitely my mistake

And my golly... we basically have the same letter A and letter B type of people!!! I haven't experienced what you've been through but heck, if we didn't have that talk and got them working I can easily imagine our thesis defense going down the drain like that one and heck, I might have lost my scholarship and won't be able to graduate with a latin honour if I also didn't pull a last effort ditch to save my also failing grades back then

Ugh that's the kind of people I absolutely don't want to have in my life (although sad to say I did experience something similar, but it's a test, I got a higher score and was told the same thing). I don't want all of my efforts, especially since I know I put in a LOT of effort, be wasted and the fruit I got from it be labelled as something I don't deserve only because they are jealous

I actually applaud you and smarts for handling that beautifully! I never had the backbone to do it! Well that and I really can't finish a baby thesis all on my own I prolly could if I try but like you guys that semester already have a lot of loads and close to graduation too!

And well, the idiot sounds nice and not at the same time, he's prolly glaring at you because he doesn't want to blame himself...

 

Nothing wrong at being emotional, you just have to learn how to use it well...

A ignorant leader is at the same level of an incompetent one....

For their own betterment take a time out and teach them the consequences of being a "leech", I'm sure if they are in need of help they'll tell you why they can't and then proceed with helping them or telling them some tips. If they are too conceited and reverse blame you or "guilt trip" you then it's better to keep distance, and give a psychiatrist (therapist) number.


Pfft ofcourse you'll have to judge based on situation, this is just me rambling "ideal" stuff. We never had to kick someone, we all just wanted to pass it and get back to anime. So I don't know if I'll actually say it to their face.

 

Oh I think Letter A learned her lesson at least. The semester after that was the main thesis you see, and I told them that in order to avoid what happened last sem I'll group with others so she and letter B paired up. And well, since she's the only one between them who is academically competent and she has a scholarship to maintain too, the leader position falls on her and she basically did that thesis on her own because no matter how she nags letter B she can't get him moving... sometimes I do help her though because well it's really pitiful but I am also thinking that now she finally knows what I went through last sem *^*

 

@Ai chan doesn't bully me, she is just my fave forum member to take jabs at.

 

Oh sis *pat pat*
If I were in your shoes, I would have removed her right away from the group. She have ways to do them. She can go to an internet cafe ah (that's what I've been doing since my laptop broke). Also, I give them options... Like go finance our thesis or you're out. In case of the social media warfare she's giving... I'll confront her about it. I'll just wait for an opportunity muhahahahaha

 

My best friend from kindergarten (we knew each other since we became aware of the world basically, like 1 or 2, who knows) became friends with another girl when we were 11 and started bullying me together with her. And because they were the fashionable and popular girls, the whole class became bullies/bystanders for the next 3 years, lol. It was petty shit from the girls, but man, some of the boys took it as permission to sexually harass and attempt stuff. I had eyes on my back to prevent any hands from nearing me. I mean, I protected myself in the end, so it's fine, but it was endless, every day but the weekend and holidays. To this day tho, I don't trust straight men, I'm disgusted by sex, and I don't invest my emotions too deeply into friends. I have my friends now and we've been through stuff together, but if they dropped me tomorrow, I wouldn't react much tbh. And really, not caring that much has let me forgive the shitty things they've done before.

Spoiler: A few thoughts about the bullying

I don't want to see those girls again in my life, but I also know that they had their own issues, and they're not the ones I hate. The boys who harassed me were 'just being boys' - horny all the time and everyone excusing their actions. The teachers didn't want to be bothered cause they had their own problems too. My parents said it was my fault, so I stopped sharing anything with them. They were busy and stressed from work and didn't want to bother with petty middle school shit. Then they'd say I didn't use to be "this neurotic and evil" when I lashed out at them sometimes. I mean, no one takes a 12-year-old's "problems" seriously. "It's just kids, what's the worst they can do?" I had a mouth on me, so I didn't just endure passively. But I did alternate fantasies between killing my classmates and killing myself. Around this time I found anime and it kinda motivated me. I mean, I wanted to see the next episode of Sailormoon, so... I treated school as a chore to be done, then hurried home to watch my anime (which my parents said was a waste of time, so I had to sneak around). I also made the friends I mentioned above around this hobby.

I've got a lot to say really, but I'm not writing a memoir, nor am I using this thread as cheap counseling lol. It's just that the thread title made me recall all this. But anyway, if any of you have kids in the future and they start behaving oddly, don't just blame it on puberty but try to find out what's going on.

 

You should have punched him more....and if possible threw them in the bottom of the sea with a rock tied on his legs and arms.

 

ditch on my birthday because they didn't have any 'proper plans'. proceeds to post on instagram a story of eating out with other popular people

 

Um, imo, they don't deserve you and... I think it was best now that you aren't really friends coz you know, gotta cut off those toxic ppl so you can live your life better.

 

I see~ play nice both of you, okay?

I was too emotionally invested in our friendship sis and I cannot bring myself to do it T___T I always remind myself that her family is poor and that she's also a scholar so it will be too cruel of me T___T As for the finances, I did ask a bit more from Letter B and well he readily gave it. And nevermind her tweets, it already happened, and last I heard from a couple of classmates Letter A's latest tweets apparently are composed of thinking about 'quiting this bird app' because it's becoming a hassle but it's also her greatest source for her fandoms so she's torn *shrugs*

OMG, that's horrible. As a girl myself I have my own share of experiences of sexual harrassment like catcalls and even attempts at groping, I cannot imagine going through everyday of my life having the need to protect myself from ******* horny boys. I'm saying this from the bottom of my heart: Gurl, you are so brave to still face and live everyday despite being worn out emotionally, physically and mentally. That takes strength.

You prolly don't wanna hear how strong or brave you are but honestly you are. If that happened to me I don't where I'll be...

...and I can imagine how horribly disappointed and hurt you are with your parents, presumptous of me to claim to know your feelings, but I'm just saying because it happened to me (not to my own parents but close), I know horrible it is to be left hanging by the figures you thought who'll be able to protect, help and guide you... only for them to point their own fingers at you and say 'it's your fault.' Honestly, those three words are one of the most heartbreaking things to hear. Look at me, still wondering if what happened is my fault all alone despite knowing that it is not.

You got a point though. We all have different kind of problems and it is up to us to bear through it- alone or with help.

 

*nods nods* That was a really bastradly thing to do and that friend does deserve to be thrown out to the sea.

Oh gosh, this is like a wake up call that your friends are actually all plastics and that they will choose popularity over you, right? I'm sorry it sounds harsh but heeeck, this is that kind of wake up call, right???

Well they are now both partially cut off from my life, seeing as I don't see or check their new profile posts on FB or their stories for that matter, so progress I guess... yey????

 

If your Friend A could graduate with top honors from her class without laptop or wifi, then how the hell can't she just use the computers on the school library or your computer labs? I hate carrying laptop so that's what I do, I just always bring 2 FDs with me. Being poor doesn't excuse her to be lazy, in fact she should be more persevere to do her thesis. They're bad friends, obviously. However, you're also an incompetent leader.

One of my classmate shared a story about how he just let his old classmates copy his work, and he said it's because he didn't like them so he didn't want them to learn. XD

Learn to be tough, specially to your love ones and friends. If your friendship is so fragile that you have to walk on eggshells around them, then just drop them.